Newspapers / The Concord Daily Tribune … / March 23, 1926, edition 1 / Page 7
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Tuesday, March 23, 1026 Dinner Stories j 1 Mr*. Dee—Are you all settled in ' your new home? Mrs. Holbrook—All but the chil- ! dren. They can't sleep a wink. My husband hasn’t had time to connect ■ the aerial for the bedtime stories. Diner—Why does that dog sit there 1 and watch me all the time? Waiter—l expect you’ve got the : plate he usually eats from. Boarder—But X don’t like this cold ‘ bully-beef. Doesn’t one have any . choice here? Landlady—Certainy. You have the 1 dioice of eating it or leaving it! j Boss (sarcastically)—Oh. I supp.se [you want to go to your grandmother’s [funeral, eh? | Office Boy—No. indeed; grand- . bnother’s got her hair bobbed, wears |em rolled, and she's going along to ■he game with me. j ft ! Traffic Cop (to driver who refused > obey signals)—Didn't I tell you to top? _ . | Driver—Y'es, sir. but my wife told i ne not to stop until I got home. j *Lndy—Are your eggs fresh? Bierk—Ma'am, Cue hen doesn’t «lize I've got them yet. . Editor—Did you write these jokes? j Weuid-be Contributor——Yes, sir. Editor—You must be older thau I [>u look. j Bjones—l understand tile girl you ’ e engaged to is a twin. How do tu tell the difference between her j id ier sister? Sniiff—Well, I don't bother very , ach. Mice—T paid my fourth visit to > beauty shop today. Marie —Strange you can't seem to waited on, dear. Fortune Toller—You will be mar d three times. Movie Actress—l want the future. : the past. Mistress (engaging new servant)' [ hope you don't object to cats." j Servant —Oh, no. I find 'cm a great ip with the dishwashin*. He—ls things get any dearer I t*’t b* ab'o to buy clothes. She —If fashion continues its pres : course, I shan’t need any. Protect Your Property and Your Money fmiutkMMßg} house, when painted with I t h * Marietta House Paints, is practi- I \ wB" @ ca % (juaranteed against the ravages of §|j sou! weather by the‘Marietta Service kRORA Certificate. No other paint manufac mrer offers you such a certificate. Ask. I us a ° out lt today. Concord Paint & Paper Company 342 N. Church Street * Phone 16L station j EVERETT TRUE BY CONDO gSgIU , Cutest Things ! I New York Daily Mirror. ! i i - ■ ■ ■ j A bosk agent came.to our house to j day and tried to sell me an encyclo pedia; I did not scent very interested j and he espied my little daughter and j said: "Does your little girl go to 1 school?” When he waH informed that ' she did, he replied: "Then surely you ' need one now for her.” My little ' daughter shouted : “I do not need an i encyclopedia. I walk to school.” j 1 Why dad, this is roast beef,” ex ! claimed Willie at dinner one evening, j when a guest of honor was present. | "Os course,” shid the father. "What [of that?" I "Why, you told mother, this morning 1 that you were going to bring an old mutton head home for dinner this | evening.” j One very cold morning Grandma came out of the pantry and. said ev erything was frozen solid, except the i clock. ! Quickly little Harold replied: “I suppose it ran s> fast Jack Frost couldn't catch it.” Little Mary was seated beside me i in n movie theatre and in front of us ' sat a baldheaded man. “Mother, just look at that man. He hasn’t any hair on his head." I "Hush, he might hear you,” I said. 1 "O.” replied Mary, very much sur prised, "doesn't he know it?” IlllED PEPPER FOR I 1 RHEUMATIC PAIN Red, Pepper Rub takes the “ouch” from sore, stiff, aching joints. It can not hurt you, and it certainly stops that old rheumatism torture at once. When you are suffering so you can hardly get around, just try Red Pep per Rub and you will have the quickest relief known. Nothing has such concentrated, penetrating heat as red peppers. Just as soon as you 1 apply Red Pepper Rub you will feel the tingling heat. In three minutes , it warms the sore spot through and through. Pain and soreness are gone. Ask any good druggist for a jar of Rowles Red Pepper Rub. Be sure to get the genuine, with the name Rowles on each package. , SiemttkM WASHIHOTON'2d ' LETTERS Even H. L Mencken Says Nice Things of Governor Ritchie. BY CHARLES P. STEWART NEA Service Writer Washington, March 22.—For the first real closeup I ever Naw of Gover nor Albert C. Ritchie, of Maryland, (I was speaking of him only yester day) I was indebted to Editor H. L. Mencken, of the “American Mer cury." Ritchie and Mencken are fellow Baltimoreans. Mencken is personally well ac quainted with Ritchie, knows all about his record nnd has oodles of intimate dope concerning him. * * * Well, Mencken spoke well of the Maryland chief executive. When H. L. Mencken says a good word for somebody you dan make up your mind he must be something ex tra-super. He referred to tile governor as an aristocrat. Being an aristocrat, he said, gives a man something to live up to. He believes, he added, that Ritchie tries to do it. . * * * Os course there was a worm in this favorable estimate, or it wouldn't have been H. L. Meneken. The point he was making was that the rottenness of polities had forced even so high-minded an individual as Albert C. Ritchie to compromise with his convictions more or less. However, considering that it was H. L. Mencken speakirtg—H. It. Mencken, who lies awake nights thinking up mean remarks to rngke about people—l interpreted what he snid about Governor Ritchie as al most unqualifiedly complimentary. PUT CREAM IN NOSE AND STOP CATARRH Tells How To Open Clogged ! Nostrils and End Hea4>Colds. I You feel fine in a few moments. Your cold in head or catarrh will be gone. Your clogged nostrils will open. The air passages of your head will clear and you can breathe freely. No more headache; no hawking, j snuffling, mucous discharges or dry j ness: no struggling for breath at night. I Tell your druggist you want a small i bottle of Ely’s Cream Balm. Apply a I little of this fragrant, antiseptic I cream in your nostrils, let it penetrate l through every air passage of the head; soothe and heal the swollen, inflamed mucous membrane, and relief comes instantly. It is just what every cold and catarrh Buffcrer needs. Don’t stay stuffed-up and miserable. For each man and woman, friend and neighbor I’m A. Live Wire, the labor saver. 'lni the snappy, full of pep chap w*bo lifts the gloom from homes that needed to get acquainted with the wonderful blessing known us electric ity. I light up your rooms and halls, sweep your carpets and run your sew ing machines, heat your homes and light up everybody's pathway in life. £jectitcaf£f $ twite ■' Jii vc W. J.HETHCQX JHONE 669-16 W DEPOTST. CONCOC& N.i GARDEN SEED i 3c Package Gibson Drug Store (Authorized Agents) FOOD FOR Every Family Don’t worry about your meals; just phone us. We can supply you ifi Groceries, Fresh Fruits and Vegetables, and in Canned Goods. We can suit any family, large or small, for we carry three sizes (Num ber 1, 2 and 3 cans) Sanitary Grocery Company THE CONCORD DAILY TRIBUNE The Europeag Bully Scores Again — OUT OUR WAY BY WILLIAMS EOiy —I »\l 4 /WW A-ArOi-jX 19\ ' \ 1 t * WAS osr \ EF? 1 D ( iFUMKtwer -THE Ijlf 1 L iiT | * \ rr*, 1\ MOM’X POP C f VES Chick if VOQ So OOT on X A I The Road VoR awhile it will k (A \ HELP VOO FORGET YOOR. ( Ife-OUSLES-WOTHIWG) Llk£ A | V CHANGE OP SURROUNDINGS To Jl K. \PDT a -FELLOW) OM HIS FEET r H'rte CffHER GOY CATCHES W\ ’LL BE REAL YHRILQMG - ' TO TWIST THAT NEC* OF J/A LL T LOOKS LIKE A /Zulu REW *- X HA\JS NO ~— BY TAYLOR HIP tVoPIMQ VMTrt MS ORL- SHE WAS pW EMQAGjEO To another tEllouo J|| '--K BEFORE SHE MST7ME BOT I BSAT v ( His T(MS- THE VSOMEAI SUREFAU, \\ TOR. THE OLD BAMR COLL. THESE \\ DATS- Her OLD BEAU WILL, rs —- f / SNELL. ANT WAS "HE f ' a : —;■ AsKNOWS WHAT X' iLISi-* - W^frw-. | Don’t Be Misled, Look and see that i* | 7 ou get the yellow checkered Bag || | and then you will know that yoirjP | have got the original Startina to ( | feed your baby chix on. 1 Cash Feed Store J PHONE 122 SOUTH CHURCH ST. || I FANCY DRY GOODS WOMEN’S WEAR \ aOOOOOOOOOOOOOOecaoooOQaoeinnncawrmnnnaatlCTnaa^aaaaf^'* DELCO UGHT l Light Plants and Batteries § f 1 Deep and Shallow Well Pumps for Direct or Alter- •*' ]! nating current and Washing Machines for Direct or Air JJJ J ternating Current. ! R. H. OWEN, Agent <j —Phone 669 Concord, N. C. m | BATTERIES I Big Price Reduction on Batteries for Fords and K, Chevrolets PREST-O-LITE $15.50 % COLUMBIA $11.95 Compare These Prices. I REPLACEMENT FOR ALL CARS PHONE 228 (Studebaker Sales and Service) Auto Supply & Repair Co. i : gi.»T‘*r;'i;! j irrr-^ — f OOOOOOOCKXkKXX>OCOC!OOOOOOC3COOOOQOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Refrigerators 5 .With the coming of Spring we will have warm weath-i j! j 6 er and you will need a Refrigerator. Let it be a Gurney. I] ]< \\ e have just unloaded a car load and have them from !j 50 lb. to 150 lb. capacity. In White Enameled or Porcelain Ji J lined. In buying a solid car we got the best price possi , s He. Therefore you want to get our prices before you |? buy. If you buy a GURNEY you will be satisfied. H. B. WILKINSON i jj Out of the High Kent District, Where Parking Sparc Is Plentiful \ 5 and time unlimited. 5 Concord Kannapolis, Mcoresville Ciiina Grove j Hot Water .jw This gas hot water heater BP \ ° "~5SY>_ j I *s surely a friend in need and Jr j | ! a friend indeed of every cbok | I 1 match and in a few minutejl 'HI | j steaming hot water will rujii JSttEsEsk&■&s’*■ Let us install one for you. Pays for itself quickly. . E.B. GRADY PLUMBING AND HEATING DEALER Office and Show Room 39 E. Corbin St. Office Phone 334 W — ; —l THE DAILY JRIBUNE THE PROGRESSIVE FARMER BOTH ONE YEAR AT THE FOLLOWING PRICES: In State outside Concord $3.25 !(I _ The Progressive Farmer is Lite best farm paper published, and its I fsj price is sl>oo a year. |3 You need not pay for the Progressive Farmer at the same time you', in pay for The Tribune. We will get it for you a whole year at any time j| on payment of only 25 cents. ji Bay your subscription to The Tribune to any contestant, but N oome to The Tribune office to pay for your Progressive Farmer. J ' i rr: r:i :• xn izrtzrtsszaiet PAGE SEVEN
The Concord Daily Tribune (Concord, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
March 23, 1926, edition 1
7
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