Wednesday, Mar. 24, 1926
'i" . ■ -
U Dinner Stories
H Doable Affliction.
■ She—ls you don't give me that S2O
■ I want at once. I shall go back to
■ mother.
H He—All right. Here’s the money.
M Now. what are you going to do with
H
H Kip--I'm going to send it to moth-
H er so she can come and see us. i
■
■ Slid Out E^ily.
■ That woman looks as if she wore
painted.”
w “Sir. that is my wife.”
9 “I liave not finished my sentence.
9 She looks as she were painted by the
I great Keyonlds and has just stepped
9 out of the frame!”
9 Diner—Say. waiter, what do you
I call this soup?
■ * Waiter—That's bean soup, sir.
■ Diner—Yes, I know it's been soup,
M but what is it now?
t Employer—Yes, I advertised for a
H strong boy. Do you think you would
* Applicant—Well, I've just finished
licking nineteen other applicants out
jH in the hall.
JB Albert—l hear you were arrested
B for voting three times.
■ c.-si/Aiicc —Yes, and I don’t see why.
"tSttier. I was only changing ray
H niind.
8 Spelling It Got Him. j
9 Two boys met in the street. .
■ < “What’s that you’ve got in your
iH buttonhole?” naked one.
■ “Why, that's a chrysanthemum,”
the other replied.
S “It looks like a rose to me.
■ “Y'ou're wrong, it's a chrysanthe
,JK mum ’”
H “What do you mean? Spell it.”
“K-r-i-s—lt is a rose !’’ ejaculated
the first boy, as he took another look
at the flower.
H Lady, just back from shopping—
■ I’ve got a feeling that I've forgotten
something. Oil, yes—now I know.
I left my husband waiting outside the
store and then came out the other
H way.
■ Friend: My, what a rotten cigar
you gave me.
Storekeeper: Veil, you should vor
ry. You got vun. I got five hun-
W dred. 1
■ I
The eucalyptus sheds its bark in-
B stead of its leaves.
= I
J Protect Your Property
and Your Money
house, when painted with
X S * Marietta House Paints, is practi
\; I| r cajly guaranteed against the ravages of
@ % sou! weather by the Marietta Service
teRA PAHf Certificate. No other paint manufac
i turer offcrs y° u su cfi a certificate. Ask;
~jm" us about it today.
Concord Paint& Paper Company
342 N. Church Street Phone 16L
MARIETTA PAINT SERVICE STATION '
EVERETT TRUE BY CONDO
I'AV GOINS TO
A WALK, 'THAT'S WHERE!
THE -DOCTOR. SAID
I ■ THAT ll* L WANTETj
b REDUCE i MUST
AKE A THREE-MIbE
t/ALK EVERY EVEM/NS
m SAciom*in
THIS, BUNGALOW IS THIRTY FEET LONS-.
AMD THERE'S ENOUGH ROOM AT EACH
E.O OT .T TO. ...J .. . , ~." 0'!
Cutest Things
New York Daily Mirror.
Little Tommy had received a new
pair of rubber boots for his birthday. l
Oue snowy day Tommy went out to'
play and came back in a short time, j
“ 'Mother,” he said, 'all the people '
are look’ng at me, maybe they think
I’m a bootlegger.”
| Mother had been trying all the af
ternoon to finish her story and had
promised Billy, that if lie remained
very quiet, she would let him go down
on the street to play w : th the other
little boys. Billy, who had been sit
ting gloomily at the window, suddenly J
shouted which caused mother to look j
up from her story, “Aw," he yelled,
“where's the use in being quiet, it's j
raining now?”
Old Axioms Discounted.
The Skeptics’ Society, .after ex
haustive research, has arrived at the
following conclusions, says the Kan
sas City Star.
Hp whmdauglis last laughs worst in
86.14 per cent, of the tests made.
Where there was smoke there was
fire in only 18.03 per cent, of the!
cases examined; in all oflier cases it
was too rich a mixture.
Still waters were not only shallow
in nearly every case investigated, but
were most easily excited.
In 63 per cent, of the tests when
a lenper paused to look someone else
' leaped ahead of him.
Os the burnt children examined,
I the majority were carrying matches
and mninfested no fear of fire.
That 00.75 per cent, of the mice
observed did not play at all wfeen the
cast, was away but went right W
work.
The final report on bites by bark
ing dogs cannot be given until two of
the investigators recover from incip
ient hydrophobia.
I The first civil law against tha man
ufacture of intoxicating liquor, of
which there is any record, was pro
mulgated in China 1,100 B. C. It
was an imperial edit called "The An
nouncement Against Drunkenness,”
and directed that those who drank to
excess should be put to death.
An emblem of good luck, a stuffed
crocodile, is seen over many doors
and gateways in Cairo, Egypt. The
j custom of putting these animals in
! exalted positions correspondeds to our
custom of nailing a horseshoes over
the door.
Stewarts M
WASHINGTON/^?
, IETTBBSSrfyC?
BY CHARLES P. STEWART
NEA Service Writer
■Washington, March 23. —Chains are
being worn again this season,
j This fashion note comes from the
1 Fort 1 l’eck (Mont.) Sioux Indian rev
ervation.
It's on the authority of a couple of
the tribesmen—Meade Steele and Ru
fus Ricker—who are here as the In
dians' representatives, trying to pro
tect their rights in Congress.
!• • *
| Steele brought one of the chains
along, to show hew the style looks.
It’s no new style, however. Ever
| since Indians have lived on reserva
! tions its prevailed.
I Nor did the Indians introduce it.
The whites did that, for the red’s
benefit.
For some reason or other, the In
dians are unappreciative.
* * *
For an out-and-out dangerous crim
inal, Steele and Ricker admit, a good,
! strong log chain, firmly rived on, per
haps with nn iron ball attached, mny
be all right.
But they don’t think it ought to be
wished onto an Indian at an agency
superintendent's wliim, for breaking
seme rule that he wouldn't think, as
a white man, of paying the least at
tention to.
To be sure, the sentences are passed
by Indian judges of the reservation
“courts of Indian offenses,” but the
superintendent appoints the judges
and can remove them when hp likes.
There are eighty such courts in the
country. The judges get $lO a month
each.
What a Difference Bet wren Tlieo and
Now.
Monroe Enquirer.
Saturday last was a beautiful spring
day and Monroe’s streets were crowd
ed with automobiles, and the side
walks literally jammed with human
ity. “Where do so many folks come
from?” was a query more than once
heard.
Observing the happy throng, never
a word or act to offend a cultured
woman or a little child, I could but
wonder why so many persons, espe
cially in the larger cities, are clam
oring for the abrogation of the 18th
amendment. Among the hundreds of
people passing and repassing, not one
was drinking or even wanted a drink
of whiskey. Consequently there were
no drunken automobile drivers, and
with congested streets (here were no
wrecked cars or maimed persons. A
good citizen is a prohibitionist.
In Petersham Churchyard. Surrey,
fir trc«, grown from seeds sent from
British Columbia have just been
planted over the grave of the explor
er, Captain Vancouver, who gave the
city of Vancouver its name.
For each man and woman,
friend and neighbor
I’m A. Live Wire, the labor
savor.
Tm the snappy, full of pep chap
who lifts the gloom from homes that
needed to get acquainted with the
wonderful blessing known as electric
ity. I light up your rooms and halls,
sweep your carpets and run your sew
ing machines, heat your homes and
light up everybody’s patl way in life.
,dt~ditun Scwtce
W. J.HETHCQX
WIONE 669-16 W. DEPOTST. CONCORD, N.i
GARDEN SEED
3c
Package
Gibson Drug Store
(Authorized
Agents)
BALANCE OF THIS WEEK
Three 50c Cans Bartlett d* 1
Pears, in syrupt *•* *
Three Large Cans Royal d*|
Anne Cherries *
Four 35c Cans Red Pit- 4*l
ted Sour Cherries
And our Canned Vegetables
are the very best at reasonable
prices.
CABARRUS CASH GRO
CERY CO.
THE CONCORD DAILY TRIBUNE
We’re Entertaining Company
r j TZ -—■-—•— ■. : * \
' **»» IfIeu^ELLVMEIL
i WELCOME To OUR Cifif, /\ „
CERkIMIY is A VL/1 , TT., ....
; pleasure To see '£>di? r-J I i
' Smiung Face again- ,N x. ■'■'p""
] / Nbu CEglaihlY conT expecT "Re children and *\e Id go /
—r* I AROUND LOOKING LIKE TfhS WHILE SHE'S HERE, Do You ? AND j
A Forlhe luva fisfe get The Yapzd cleaned up and H e __
| ashes cari?iep out amp pon'T edrgeT - \ ~~
OUT OUR WAY BY WILLIAMS
| / SuT \ ( tU«i\
I NA RiGrW-r ITS -TERRtBiLW
i -To MOOR KI ' CE OF WOO
/. Z> ' - HOUSE.. HOLD Y%A G,v/£ ME / YY
woof? BASWiT / % ARIDE. / V,
— — — 1
*_T.Ff wilLf»w)3
-L arljvadb - MOT Boom J
MOM’N POP BY TAYLOR
/<si MR, HOLT -MW NAME IS GUNN ([ SIT DOVJN NMD HWJE A CIGAR - A
. OFTHBMAtSICMODCC-POP > 1 KNE\M WOOR FATrtER VMHBn HE L
LORSTTa \ SoGQESTCO X DROP —( FiRST 'N BOSIMESS-i j
e2!oPED / StoSoESt vSi* 3 TOLD rtlNtrtEHftD A GREAT <
v)|TH ( ORDERS BEFORE pY So Yoo’RE \fi Por° OT^'
OF VODR ■FATHER'S and ) V SoM-EDMUND AMD MY
l want you To come IT \ DAU&HTER-LORETTA
iiW OUT To THE HOUSE AMP V
STAY WITH US
| Don’t Be Misled, Look and see that jF
ij 7 ou get the yellow checkered Bag |,
ijj and then you will know that you
Kaye got the original Startina to
jj feed your baby chix on. \
| Cash Feed Store
|| PHONE 122 SOUTH CHURCH ST. | ■
’
I 1
I FAffgV DRY GOODS WOMEN’S WEAR
D0000000c*c90000c000000000cx)00000000c>00000000000000
' — i. -
5000000000«x>00<xxxxxj00exxx>^bc»=w<x)0000{x30c>000c000<
DELCO LIGHT
Light Plants and Batteries
Deep and Shallow Well Pumps for Direct or Alter
nating current and Washing Machines for Direct or Al
ternating Current.
R. H. OWEN, Agent
B ..Phone 669 Concord, N. C.
J00000 ooooooooooooooooooooc<x3ooooQexx»oooQoooooooi
BATTERIES I
Big Price Reduction on Batteries for Fords and 1
Chevrolets
PREST-O-LITE $15.50
COLUMBIA $11.95 .« &
Compare These Prices. Vs
| REPLACEMENT FOR ALL CARS
PHONE 228
(Studebaker Sales and Service)
Auto Supply & Repair Co.
afeiJia: iil gHI 1 ,• s ,Jp
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOdbOOOS
Refrigerators
i? With the coming of Spring we will have warm weath- j!
]< er and you will need a Refrigerator. Let it be a Gurney, !jl
X \\ e have just unloaded a car load and have them from <|
j!j 50 lb. to 150 lb. capacity. In White Enameled or Porcelain !'
jj lined. In buying a solid car we got the best price possi- *
!j> lie. Therefore you want to get our prices before you I jP
buy. If you buy a GURNEY you will be satisfied.
H. B. WILKINSON
i Out of the High Kent District, Where Parking Space Is Plentiful ! j
15 and time unlimited.
5 Concord Kannapolis, Mcoresviile China Grove ]1 [
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCX>OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCKXX>C
Hot Water
This gas hot water heater
BP Tnln^m'' ~ j f is surely a friend in need and
ft j ) I a Liend indeed of every cook
»] and housewife. Apply a
l\ If |S| Wr match and in a few minutes
j steaming hot water will run
»| |H| from the faucet—enough foi
li j the dishes, for a badi, etc.
™ dHaaSlsijfiiSa Let us install one for you.
Pays for itself quickly.
E.B. GRADY
PLUMBING AND HEATING DEALER
Office and Show Room 39 E. Corbin St. Office Phone 334 W
THE DAILY TRIBUNE
THE PROGRESSIVE FARMER
BOTH ONE YEAR AT THE FOLLOWING PRICES:
J In State outside Concord $5.25
j 1 The Progressive Farmer is the best farm paper published, and ita
I price is SI.OO n year.
| You need not pay for the Progressive Farmer at the Rame time you
a pay for The Tribune. We will get it for you n whole year at liny time
| on payment of only 25 cents.
I Pay your subscription to The Tribune to any contestant, but
| come to The Tribuue office to pay for your Progressive Farmer, 4
PAGE SEVEN