Batu relay, March 27, 1926
1 Dinner Stories
A Long Farweil.
Ikev and Izxy were about to sep
arate.
i “Veil,” said the former melanchol
iantly. “Au revoir!”
[ "Vat's dat?” asked lazy suspicious
lb.
I “Oh. dat’s ‘Good-bye' in French,”
■explained Lkry, loftily.
I “Oh.” returned Izzy, reflectively,
■‘Veil, Carbolic Acid’!”
I “Vat’s ‘Carbolic Acid'?”
I “Dat’s in any lan-
Bunge!”
| A Great Temptation.
B“Do you t'ltink the accused would’
Beal a chicken?” the lawyer asked j
Bose on cross-examination.
Bf'Nossuh, Ah wflu’dn’t say ez he'
Buhl,” answered Mo.se. wriggling un-
Bai'y on the chair. “But. Ah knows
—when dut man gits hotigry to’
dat man’s jes nache'ly boun’
chicken.”
HI Hadn’t a Chance.
smartly dressed woman was sit-
in an omnibus when a quiet-look-
young man. in getting in, acci-
trod ou her dress.
talked to him for ten minutes j
H wound up by saying. “A gentle-
Bp would have apologized.”
young man bowed and calmly
Bt “A lady would have given me
B"
j|. A Cobweb Kadio.
Alden was proceeding through
'.louse with her new maid on a
Bof inspection, She halted in
Beornor and, pointing to a cobweb,
IjB: "Have you seen this?”
Bp’is. ma’am," said the new maid.
Bt was there when I come—some-
to do with your radio ain’t |
BE Wise Tommy.
Bmmy—Mother, can I have a
of candy?
—Xo, son. not until you’ve
your hands. If you wash
face, tco, I’ll give you two
disappeared in the diree
■ of the hat room.
he returned he said:
taken a bat'.i : don't 1 get the |
box?”
Portland Club of London is the
authority on bridge as play-
the Euglish code.
3ft.
K Protect Your Property
and Your Money
SV’OUR house, when painted with
Marietta House Paints, is practi
cally guaranteed aeainst the ravages of
feu! weather by the Marietta Service
Certificate. No other paint manufac-
I { vC^rg r l--~f3 turer offers you such a certificate. Ask
B Vr M 7/ 1 us about it today.
Concord Paint & Paper Company
■342 N. Church Street Phone 16L
I Marietta paint station ~ j
jjTSRE'n TOPE BY CONDO
ODPY THE: eNCCOSE'D
CHA/N Ce-TTER AMC SClviS> To .SEVENS
I- OF YOOR
I- AM& Q-OOX) COCK OOILC £>& Yooß S.
p\ IF, KOf/utsvesß. You S>HOUL'D FA/c
To tfOMT’CY, A CfNVC t«OOCt> 13CS
©Re=>Kts N, ANO S»OR<RovO AMO BA’P
i-CCK OCXS. Foor’S.TePs.
Stingiest Person
New York Daily Mirror.
The stingiest person I know is my
boss wbo covers tbe floor of his office
with paper to save the oil cloth.
. Tbe stingiest person I kuow is the
mun who makes Ills children slide
down the banisters so they do not
wear out the stairs.
The stingiest person I know is the
woman who returned ten cents worth
of meat to the butcher after her cat
caught a sparrow.
Dog Has Maid. Paris Wardrobe,
Costs Mistress SI,OOO a Year.
, New York World.
Francie, a shy back and tan dog,
'came buck yoderday from Paris oh
the Olympic with a lavishly aug
mented wardrobe, and. it was rumor
ed, a bit seasick. Frant-ra less than
six pounds, but she casts her owner,
l Mrs. Sidney M. Williams, who lives
|at the Hotel Madison, more than $4,-
|OOO a year.
Mrs. Williams lma other dogs,
but Francie is the favorite, accord
ing to a maid .who looks after the
dog's wants.
j Mrs. Williams and her husband, a
retired broker, took Francie abroad
to, obtain all the latest fashions in
dog apparel and at Quarantine she
described her pet’s newest clothes.
Francie was wearing a genuine
j chinchilla coat and made a complete
change of clothes between the time
the Olympic dropped anchor at
Quarantine and reached her pier at
West Fourteenth Street.
Listed in the dog’s wardrobe were
all sorts of hats, knitted vests of
various colors, dresses, for day and
evening wear, overcoats anil even
< toilet articles, made especially for
I her. And, dually, Francie has u
j maid.
After the customs men had in
spected their trunks and baggage and
looked over Franoie's wardrobe, the
couple proceeded to the hotel, where
Francie met the other five dogs
owned by Mrs. Williams-
Draw Two Years For Beating llis
Wife.
; Jonesboro, March 2.'i.—For cruelly
] beating his wife and daughter three
I weeks ago at his home near Aveut’s
| Ferry, Andrew Lawrence, well
(known citizen, was sentenced to
»erve two years ou the countv roads
by Judge X. A. Sinclair in Lee Su
perior Court.
Little Glri Pantomimes Government
With New Tunes on Piano.
BY t'HAJUJSB P. STEWART
NKA Service Writer.
Washington—Washington’s a great
p'ace to teach a child all about the
machinery of government.
It’s on exhibition here in actual
operation, which makes it realistic
and interesting. f
I try to make the most of it for
my 0-year-old daughter’s benefit. I
take her around to see how it works.
It’s pretty vivid to her-
For her age, she's quite a musi
cian. The other eveing I got home
to find her improvising, at tnc piano.
As she proceeded, she explained the
piece to me. Otherwise I wouldn’t
have understood it so well.
» • *
From the bass end of the instru
ment came a dignified rumbling—no
meaning to it, seemingly, but sonor
ous. It was prolonged until it grew
rather tiresome. “That,” observed
the child, “is the Senate.”
Then ensued a brisk but confused
clattering, all up and down the key
board. oeeaionally punctuated by
sliarp whacks, as of a gavel. “House
of Representatives” “But those
whacks?” “Some gentleman's time
has expired,” rejoined my daughter.
Xow a march—solemn, funeral
borrowed, I suspect, from some earl
ier composer, though I oon t know
enough about music to feel certain.
At any rnte, it was the Supreme
Court. That was obvious.
• * «
The music ceased. Silence.
“Is that all?” I asked.
“.Xo,” said my daughter, “we're at
the best part now. This is the White
House”
VISITORS KEEP SEX
PLAYS IN NEW YORK
Rubes And Hicks From Tall Grass
Comes to Town For Something
Naughty and Got It.
•Detroit, March 23.—Certain kinds,
of visitors from interior cities and
towns are responsible for the vogue
sex plays are enjoying <m Broadway,
in the opinion of Jessie Bonstedle,
producer of several New York suc
cesses and now operating her own
theater here.
“New Y'ork is splotches h-Itti sex
play measles,” Miss Boustelle said.
“It is an epidemic that will pass.
Such tiling perish of themselves, of i
tlieir own vapidity. j
Your New Yorker is no more un
healthy in his tastes for drama than
anyone else. He enjoys clean plays
and patronizes them. The traveling
public, the man in New York for a
good time, keeps these sex things go
ing. He wants to see 'naughty' plays.
He neglects the clean shows. The
’good’ plays, he reasons, will come to
his home town and he will see them
there because they are the kind he
can attend with his wife and daugh
ter.’’
cy'-aeter ~§fc.
For each man and woman,
friend and neighbor
Pm A. Live Wine, the labor
saver.
'lm tbe snappy, full of pep chap
who lifts the gloom from homes that
needed to get acquainted with the
wonderful blessing known as electric
ity. I light up your rooms and halls,
sweep your carpets and run your sew
ing machines, beat your homes and
light up everybody's pathway in .life
/dt~ilotw Stwice
W. J. HETHCOX
GARDENSEED
3c
Package
Gibson Drug Store
BALANCE OF THIS WEEK
Three 50c Cans Bartlett
Pears, in syrupt
Three Large Cans Royal
Anne Cherries ""
Four 35c Cans Red Pit- Cl
ted Sour Cherries ™ *
And our Canned Vegetables
are the very best at reasonable
prices.
CABARRUS CASH GRO
CERY CO
THE CONCORD DAILY TRIBUNE
ll—r ~,, ,1.
OUT OUR WAY - ~ BY WILLIAMS^
I (Pf&TrPi “^=====— —- ——
■f f IjSjlfll ll* " ERniE, HOW\ /rT OOjY Ho«-r\ A I VJEIGHEO 130 \
i=i==jJU==: Kim MOO EXPECT K* LOOK ERmiE'.V vnheNTH' Bull \
lilf A RAISE SO SOOM? MIRACLES l PROMISED ME A
~T~Wj NNMM MOO OMLM has happened) RAISE! LOOK AT
! TTfP. ASKED HIM S\Y /ME NOVAJ! DOCTOR
JJjL.'Z— al MOMlftS AGO? > I'lM OTHER J ORDERED ME To
T~ - LOOKKI‘ FOR vT
-sj Anna vr SOTaravKasnaC
MOM’N POP
R'S CHICK'S ORDER V A
iTOAIIA- X XMASM’T /==•
COULD LAND IT- )
BUT HIM OVER? /
DOST HIM OUT 7
lEEMFpf?P
§fT IT CAN'T 05 ALL PLAV WITH H/M
MR. ©UNN MAS 1C MUD ORDERS
ARE flockiWG I/O FROM GREEWFORD WZ
ev EVERY MAIL - SEE - THREE
BY TAYLOR
C Bdt he just wired "T ooqqone that "'l
no that He was on A Blond-euervTme
V_ HIS WAY BACK To / |
■ [ CaRgENFQRP jM C.HICK HE GOES
■ V cuckoo- our
x '>-—' ( 80S/WESSIS
\ \ BOUND TO SUFFER
; ( )T THIS KEEPS UF
VJHH OUR BEST SALESMEN HAVE
\ NEtJER SECURED MORE IH AIO OWE S2||p
' Vmx order tßom that Town - Mou) yyX.
: W they're flowi>o6 iw u*6 WAttß
' WX VIHAT’S THE 60V UPTo? HE’S
' #%? HM> THE SALES TRAINING
Z//A TO PULL IN BIS BUSINESS LIKE THIS- W/.
U /.V ESPECIALLY FROM A DEAD r—S////
-~—l TERRITORY !*_/ y.
t OOP'POOOOOOOOOOOOOOQQOOOg>OQnQ«X>OOiX>OtKXy>QOO n * VM * f *OQ
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| t ou get the yellow checkered Bag -
| and then you will know that you |
§ have got the original Startina to ;
| feed your baby chix on.
I Cash Feed Store ||
g PHONE 122 SOUTH CHURCH ST. 11l
| *>3jX>ooooooooe>oooooocoooooeuoooooooooo(yyy?«?OOOon» ll
DRY GOODS WOMEN’S WEAR
’ S
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DELCO LIGHT
Light Plants and Batteries
?! Deep and Shallow Well Pumps for Direct or Alter-
S; nating current and Washing Machines for Direct or Al- |
j ternating Current.
| R. H. OWEN, Agent
g „-Phone 669 Concord, N. C.
J0000000000 OOOOOOOOQOOOOOOODOOOOOOQOOOOCOOOCOOOOO) -
t BATTERIES I,
Big Price Reduction on Batteries for Fords and
Chevrolets
PREST-O-IJTE $15.50
COLUMBIA $11.95
Compare These Prices.
REPLACEMENT FOR ALL CARS B
PHONE 228
(Studebaker Sales and Service)
Auto Supply & Repair Co.
| 4 !f
OOOOOOOOCDODC?OOQO<X><XXXXX>C^cvwvv-v-^vwvwvv^^^g
I Another Car Load of Hoosier
Kitchen Cabinets
one of llic«e labor sav- # 1!
mg devices in you: i !v —-»cbv v O
kitchen so you wi. |
pleasure. Have on MJj ‘f~s §
put in your home, an 1 o
v.e are sure you wi 1 j l Lot
of other in this Ji i f
Hoosiers Sold Excius- WU * J
County By '* s w.s
H. B. WILKINSON
Out of the High Rent District. Where Parking Space Is Plentiful s
and time uniimited. < J
Concord Kannapolis, Moorcsville China Grove x
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooc
Hot Water
X r ... This gas hot water heater
iaPd j i is surely a friend in need and
pii J I a friend indeed of every cook
jj fill match and in a few minutes
| Jp steaming hot water will run
Let us install one for you.
Pays for itself quickly.
E.B. GRADY
PLUMBING AND HEATING DEALER
Office and Show Room 39 E. Corbin St. Office Phone 334 W
as::, I !,* t, * ryimTXTOaa^^^
THE DAILY TRIBUNE
AND
j THE PROGRESSIVE FARMER
BOTH ONE YEAR AT THE FOLLOWING PRICES:
Iu State outside Concord J5.2u y
c . Tb« Progressive Farmer is the best farm paper published, and it*
price is SI.OO a year. ' 81
You* need not pay for the Progressive Farmer at the same time you
t ray for Hie Tribune. We will get it for .you a whole year at any time
« on payment of only 25 cents.
Pay your subscription to The Tribune to any contestant, but
j comc 10 Th « Tribune office to pay for your Progressive Farmer.
PAGE SEVEN