Friday, April 16, 1926
Dinner Stories 11
—**■■■ ■ • **«»
; \
A customer went iiito a rstore ard
jked up an article, walked out with
and told the clerk to charge it.
NOn what account?” called the
»rk
“On account, of noL having any
>ney with me.” *
Heupeck—l'd like to .«ee my wife I
to tin* polls to vote.
Friend—Are you so much opposed j
suffrage?”
k “lt isn’t that. ;but T*d like to en- i
w hearing her <*allc?K down good .
id hard for not knowing how to
Id her ballot.”
I i
Bhe said very solemnly. ‘‘l cannot
krry you because I do not love yon.
■t I will be your sister.”
r’Oood," he answered, with a
rump hunt smile; “and how much
I you think our father will leave
I when he dies?”
Ifehe —Oh. that bull is coining right
■yard us! What shall we do? j
He—Don't stand there doing '
[thing: come and help me climb
n tree.
■he maid was leaving, and her
■tress said to her: ‘‘Mary. I
■lid like to give you a good refer- I
Bjr. but my conscience compels me |
■state that you never got the
■ls ready at the proper time.
■?, I wonder how I can put it in
■ice way?"
■Well, ma’am,", retorted the girl,
■ji can say I got the meals the
Be as I got my pay.”
■on—Mother, who put that statue
■hr the kitchen sink?
plother—S**h, sonny, don’t mhke
K- noise! ,That* the plumber.
fColonel Corkright—Mnjub Kludsoe
I an excellent judge of liquor, isn’t
L suh?
sColonel Gore—Yes. snli! The
pijuh’s not only a good judge of
i but also a mereifes** executioner.
“My boss says he can’t come after
II.” said the pluinber's boy. “Blit
P it was a hurry-up call, he esent
1 never sent for anyone,"
9Hd the mi.stre«s of the house, rather
puzzled.
then." the boy concluded, “it
inust have been the folks as was
Sphere before you moved in."
Protect Your Property
and Your Money
9mm 'V7'OUR house, when painted with
I) * Marietta House Paints, is practi
' gs I caily (guaranteed against the ravages of
p fou> weather by the Marietta Service
Certificate. No other paint manufac-
L 1 —turer offcr&- you such a certificate. Ash
“ 30Ut 11 today.
Concord Paint& Paper CcLipany
342 N. Church Street „ Phone 18L
MAIUKTTA PAINT "service STATION
EVERETT TRUE BY CONDO
If AS 1 egpOAlMfep T6 1 Vou AT tvRiT, T
m a Two-tuA't socket that has a
liNe/Vr NeiT THoSG MU
■xxtjperhaps Youf-vwc ■— - ———
■ TYPe.s * Tnese.
HiiCtfuCTPisece-CT from. Look
m ~ J
. r nil, I—BM—WJJLJ.-JX-Jeg* I?JS&V-~-
IE3 RK2-MlUlPp
—.SIISIS
HtolOQtC;- §M
fes|j |ax XtjGHH 1 .
STRANGER DIES UNDER
ODD CIRCUMSTANCES
! His One-legged Buddy 6e6> Him in
Hospital and Then Disappears.
Charlotte, April John
MeTlick, 40; .brought to the city by
n one-legged companion
Tuesday night, died soon afterward*
and his body lay today in a local j
funeral parlor, the finish of an un- •
known soldier’s career of mystery
• and pathos.
I A *trango young man. excited,
speaking the lingo of the ribe track. ',
j suddenly appeared before a group of
i workers in the" courthouse Tuesday
‘ night.
| “I gotta guy in my car outside
; He’s a good guy, but I think he’s
! gonna creak,” he said earnestly.
I The workers quickly arranged for
the jgiek man’s entrance into the hos
pital. where he died Wednesday
} morning.
i His last word* were: “Where’s my
buddy? I want to tell him some
thing."
But the picturesque young eripp e
! had disappeared as suddenly as he
•came, and had not been located
j Wednesday afternoon.
■ American Legion officials are try
ing to assemble facts which would
j enable them to return the body to
’ the family.
Place Marker on Site of the First
Court.
! Charlotte, April 15.—Unveiling
ceremonies for the tablet, nut ruing
the site of the first court evep held
in Mecklenburg County, were he’d
j Thursday under the auspices of the
Colonial Dames, wnich society erect
ed tIW marker.
j The inscription on the' tablet
| reads:
“Site of first court in Mecklen
burg County February 2(1. 1783.
“Home of Thomas Spratt. first
white settler to erodh the Yadkin
liiver. with wheels.
“Here was born his daughter,
Anne Spratt. first white child born
between the Catawba and Yadkin
rivers.
“Erected by the National Society
of Colonial Dames of America in
North Carolina, 1T)2«."
Cook, in play on the stage, to her
mistress—l give you notice on the
spot; I’m going to leave at the end
of my week.
Lady in audience, excitedly—ln
that case you can come to work for
me. I’d give you sls a week and al
> low you two afternoons and four
evenings a week out.
Sxewarf|Js
■WASHIKOTON-^fS
LETTERS
BY CHARLES P. STEWART
NEA Service Writer
Washington, April 15.—Determined
ns it was, the effort made, earlier in
this session of Congress, to head off
any more, senatorial investigations
during the coming summer failed to
accomplish much.
The “h usher” didn't work as
“hushers” should.
Perhaps there won’t be quite as
many investigation* this time as
there were during the epidemic of
them in the last Congress, but such
as there are promise' to be first-class.
To begin with, prohibition!
This pending investigation was
scheduled to be limited to two week*
but it won't be surprising if it
stretches.
The investigation into the tariff
commission probably will string along
all sun mer.
The contention is that this was a
highly meritorious commission but
somebody hamstrung it, s 6 now it’s
no good. That—if it happened—was
wrong. Well, who did it? If he
hopelessly crippled a useful commis
sion he ought to be called to ac
count.
His, adverse critics says the, presi
dent did it. Really it’s an ifivestiga
tion of him. Investigating the presi
dent if “going some.”
* * *
Finally, there’s the impeachment
case against Federal Judge George
W. English, of the eastern district of
Illinois!
Strictly speaking, this isn't an in
vestigation, but a trial. In effect
it’s an investigation of Judge English,
however, with the judge’s removal as
its sequel, if the Senate finds him
guilty.
* * *
The senators, generally speaking
aren't any too well pleased at being
tied up in Washington with investi
gation* and impeachment proceedings
► just as the congressional elections are
coming on. x
How Britain Does it.
Jacksonville Times-lTnion.
The fear of the law is the respect
tlrat is keeping down the tide of
crime in Great Britain. It is not
credited to any sentimental cam
paign—or any great preponderance of
virtue on the* side of the' average
human being.
What this country heeds is n lot
of jurymen and judges with the de
termination to put murderers away
from the society which they disgrace.
The multitudinous and never-ending
technicalities by the lawyers cheat
the gal low* of their due need to be
lopped off- The pence officers of the
United States should be brought
back from chasing after wiU-o’jthe
wisps to a rounding up,of men and
women who slay and roh-and burn
and maltn at their felluws,,
Tin* thug with a weapon—especial
ly tile coward’s pet protector, a <Vhe- v
ham! gun-'-should be declared an
outlaw and deserving of confinement
at hard labor for life. He is a po
tential murderer and deserves no
sympathy. The pardoning and parol
ing of prisoners has become a nn
tioinal scandal, although it was in- ]
tended only as a means of exercizing '
mercy.
The sickly nauseating sight of Wo
men gathering about a man convict
ed of the foulest crime in the catalog,
i* a symptom of what the country
may be coming to unless the bar and
bench decide to stop the crime wave
by enforcing the criminal statues.
Gladiolus Bulbs
All Colors
,/ « -
Gibson Drug Store
W. J. HETHCOX
Chicken Feed
Baby Chick time is here and
l\tc are here with the Righl
| Feeds.
Buttermilk Starting Mash foi
Baby Chicks
Buttermilk Growing Mash
For the Larger Chicks, and
Buttermilk Laying Mash
For Hens
Also Good Scratch Feeds
Cheap
CABARRUS CASH GRO
CERY COMPANY
Phone 571 W
tttfi CONCORD. DAILY TRIBUNE
The Last Gentle Hint
’SPMeIhIMG | I # /C !
' OUT OUR WAY ~ BY WILLIAMS
<T W 6«
. EF VOVA SAVN -TvA’ DEAD AWAV<EM.
'• .• OT.F? WiLIiAM=J; PSHAW / AUW COOK KIM DO »T
e ,9*o BY service. ,NC W'TvA A SKtLLtT AM* SOME BACON.
pop - 7 ~ ~ by taylor “
f * yh CAMFI6LO AT EOT COOSiM MATilOa/V BUT l'M MoT STROWq'
ONCB> MR.<*UNN AT OLSA tS AUJAV AWO 1 E(OOU&HTO^O'Tit&
mamch&stsr Morec //glcrv eel SoMeowe ioillhaus ) hoosevmokk -Tke j
Bed with )( v;e ooswr ro ) To sw hers wo ( doctor said i y
... ..... ..I ...£/ s^
Xo EKE.RT YOORSEUF ' IHi ToLD , r Sv r ' 1
-I?r,^ OC ( CrtAßLersroM . ftCl U/Ls
•BESIDES -Sty YJIU- riAVE —IhM ? ikfW j
• V.CJTS OF Time to TriiNio asoot —nemn v 1 -
.*4 •♦#.#.'l,*
I Don’t Be Misled, Look and see that M
on get the yellow checkered Bag SB
and then you will know that you |B
have got the original Startina to |B
feed your baby chix on.
Cash Feed Store
PHONE 122 SOUTH CHURCH
l FANCY DRY GOODS WOMEN’S WEAR^
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I DELCO LIGHT t
Light Plants and Batteries
. >| Deep and Shallow Well Pumps for Direct or Alter- ij
<i nating current and Washing Machines for Direct or Al- I
l| ternating Current.
I R. H. OWEN, Agent
Phone 669, Concord, N. C. ; |
J0CCO000CX>0000000£Xl<»0O£^t»0fl«30»300C0CS00000Ci3C00t
BATTERIES j
Big Price Reduction on Batteries for Fords and
is Chevrolets
3 PREST-O-LITE $15.50 &
COLUMBIA $11.95 §
Compare These Prices. 3
id REPLACEMENT FOR ALL CARS 1
PHONE 228 i
(Studebaker Sales and Service)
Auto Supply & Repair Co.
CLEAN, PURE, COLD AIR
Get More Than Your Money’s Worth
Many Gurney u.-ers say they arc jjjpyAiiigS'iii.A Xqggfc
getting more than their money's worth pf , t"‘' •{
from this long-lasting refrigerator. jgl _ ,;">i
Some Gurneys have been in use 25 to ||[ I*
30 years. Tltcy're built to last: also to jsf j ’
preserve food perfectly with a mini- j§|lij“™j| Aln j v '
mum of ice. And you’ll be surprised IjL \ *
at the reasonable prices. We carry a
wide range of sizes. Come in and see *?
them. V A
H. B. WILKINSON l
Out of the High Kent District, Where Parking Sp:iee Is Plentiful .?
and time unlimited.
Concord Kannapolis, Mooresville China Grove At
v
Hot Water-.}
This gas hot water heater
P, ' .jgl j a friend indeed of every cook
Ij! " A 'l. __ match and in a few minutes
![ jP steaming hot water will run
fill iflljnj | from the faucet—enough sot
It' 1 JBHnjt H the dishes, for a bath, etc.
1A dMEissitesfc: Let us install one for you.
Pays for itself quickly.
E.B. GRADY
PLUMBING AND HEATING DEALER
Otfice and Show Room 39 E. Corbin St. Office Phone 334 W
| THE DAILY TRIBUNE |
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PAGE SEVEN