Saturday, May 1, 1926
II,
Dinner Stories
A Worm’s 'Eye View. j
Ad lowa boy eh roiite to visit I
friends in New York entered t'ie city ’ 1
by the Hudson tunnel, then took the !
subway to their address.
“What do you think of the city?"
they asked on his arrival.
“I eouldh't say,” he replied. "I've '
had only a worm's eye view.”
Knew His Fate. V
“Judge.” pried die prisoner in the
dock, "have I got to be tried by a
woman Jury?' •
"I* q«it,” whispered the counsel. :
“I won't be quiet! Judge. I can't
even fopl my own wile, let alone
twelve strange women. I'm guilty 1” .
The Poor Mother-in-Law.
Visitor —Your picture of the Fiery
Dragon is a masterpiece.
Scbram the Aftist —Fiery Dragon?
Where did you see that?
Visitor—ln the middle of the wall
in the next room.
Sellrom—Oh. that is a portrait of.
my mother-in-law.
Some Do Have That Failing.
“Wlmt did the pahsoii ’seiiss in
his sermon?" asked one negrrf of an
other, returning from preaching. |
“Well, sah,” was the reply, “he
used so many words I didn’t 'zaekly
ketch fithathe was talkin’ ’bout."
—The wages you ask are
ifj»her higii for one who has no ex
perience as a cook.
New Maid—Yes, hut think iiow
much tinnier it is for me when I
don’t know anything about it.
Judge—Do yWi know thnt you are
not to resist an officer?
Young Lady—Yes. but my hus
band was looking.
Tlie hostess was pressing. “Oh.
Mrs. Jones; do try a little more of
the pudding."
Mrs. Jones-—Weil, dear, it really is
nice. I'll have another mouthful.
Hostess—That’s right, Mary fill up .
Mrs, Jones' plate.
v She—Do you think it will be all
right for us after we are married
to settle a couple of blocks away
from my family?
He—l was going to say a couple
qf states.
Protect Your Property
and Your Money
aXXOUR bouse, when painted with
•i Marietta House Paints, is practi
cally guaranteed against the ravages of
foul weather by the Marietta Service
Certificate. No other pain: manufac
| turer offers you such a certificate. Ad
us about it today.
Concord Paint& Paper Ccupany
342 N. Church Street Phone 16L
y^?^a ,:^:^ j
~~ ' * ' ■ - - £ _ Vi 'TT-xrai ___
J2VERETT true by condo
Nfoo ASKei? ME II lAhAIT AMI NUTS. AWD Gdb?
«UH«E.THeR (■ I) ANYBODY SAY THAT WHftfl ,1
-=• —V HAS A M6M©£(? Os THE
gT~ — jjg£> board that i was ever
fy -zz jS&r- ON THe WROM<S Stv>-E OF
awk iimportant f
i CAN SAY
[ Youß TiRST IhwAir A MiNove — Ano Cam '
I Cf>ue-ST'ON You I /VNYBeyPY SAY THAT , j
I Asktsp is-. on that board i e.ve>«. ' 1
THC VO&CIC 'RA'AJ
|| ~ ML PEAC ? ANV^oTY
■ K)A«T A MJNUtei HHeN You ASK P&RSonW
B , r r , , _ A QOeSTIOn TOO ALWAYS
m*=r < '=__r=-/''“<<• < <jw® T+KSH A CHANC<S TO
Cutest Things
New York Daily Mirror.
Johnnie was suffering from a bud
cough and took his medicine to school
with him. When he came home in
the afternoon, mother asked him if he
had taken his medicine during the i
day at school, to which Johnnie re- 1
plied promptly, “No, mother, Johnnie
Jiudds liked it and gave me an apple j
for it.", |
Mary's beau was going away for a!
long trip and asked if she would
wait for him unt : l he returned. Mary
replied. "Well, John, you can't expect
me to wait forever.’ Little Harry ov
erheard (he conversation and retorted,
."Aw. John, she toM pop she'd wait
forever for you."
Mother gave Robbie some cake and
went into , another room. When she
came out she was surprised to find
that Bobbie had eaten all the cake.
She reproved him, saying, “Why. Bob
bie, you ate all that cake without
thinking of your brother."
| Bobbie replied promptly. "Sure, I
was thinking of him all the time. I
! was afraid he'd ,be in before I had
time to finish it.’*
' '■* ■: ~t-" :
Melrose Flour
Liberty Self Rising
j Flour
Why use Flour that may
please you at some time, and
will not please you at other
times, atfd that too, when you
most want the very best.
Melrose is just the very best
at all times. It has stood the
test —on this market for more
than twenty-five years.
I Liberty Self-Rising is made
. ready to bake. It’s Melrose in
quality.
Our price is no higher now
than any other brands.
CLINE & MOOSE
Phone 339'
P. S.—We Deliver Quick Ev
erywhere.
ur chabi.es r. steivaht
i Nf5A Service Writer
i Washington,’ April 30.—Let a mem
ber of the House of Representatives
have something really important to
say, in a speech on the floor, and the
time for him to say it in is doled out
! to him by the management ns grudg
ingly as if there weren’t enough of
it to go around.
Indeed, that’s just the case, the'
leaders say. If statesmen were al- .
lowed to run oratorical!}- wild, no
time would be left to pass laws in.
Fifteen minutes is a liberal allow
ance for a speech. Cppn its expira
i tion—bang! goes the gavel and, “The
gentleman’s time has expired,” an
nounces Speaker Longworth, biting
him right off in the middle of a word.
“Can’t I get a little more time?”
he begs, and if it’s good stuff he's
getting oft and lie's a popular mem
ber, maybe he pets an additional five
minutes or two or one, by unanimous
consent.
Inasmuch as the representatives'
rules are no inelastic even when high
ly important questions are up for
consideration, one might naturally in
fer that short work would be made of
a congressman who undertook to talk
pure piffle for the mere fun of hearing
himself do it.
Strange to say, the reverse is the
case. If a lawmaker has some gen
uine remarks" to make, the House gen
erally is vefy strict with'him. If
it's just hot air, his fellow legisla
tors incline to let him prattle indefi
nitely.
For instance, Representative Till
man, of Arkansas, got the floor one
day recently and talked four solid
pages into the Congressional Kecord.
Nobody once interrupted him. He
ran on until he ban down. If it all
had been apropos of something or
other, he'd have been squelched in
short order, but it wasn't, so nobody
minded.
Unkind.
“Ah, we doctor have many ene
mies in this world."
"Y'es—but more in the next!”
New
SUMMER
MILLINERY |
] Coming in Daily ]<
| Prices $1.1)5 to $14.D5 ijj
i If You Want the Latest jj
j! Styles We Have Them Is
Robinson’? j
I Millinery Dept.
! I MISS ALLIE JLEGG, Prop. 0
Phone oJP |
LsgjOOOOO< vvr ocvioc.-v-' —
Now Is The Time to Exter
minate Flies, Aants and All
Other Insects
BY USING
CENOL
Sold and Guaranteed by
GiNon Prug Store
(Agent*}
xittioua s£tvice
-'"'TjA JlivC
% J. HETHCOX
California Tours
Campaign
Ends Next Monday, May 3rd,
at 6:09 P. M.
Yay your account early and
get 50f> Votes on the Dollar
for your favorite contestant
Sanitary srcsery
Company
fHB CONCORD DAILY TRIBUNfc
There’s Always Something Doing in His Line
OUT OUR WAY BY WILLIAMS
/'fae.sE Biros bringin'-thef?\ /weg^knova j7he\
FLiUNERS AN TiricF? WIFE'S 1 HA’S "T' ShL'fU'T \
|| WASH MACHINES AN Such 1 TW BOkAPS AIN'T (
1 z iNTb'TH shop-r’ Repair Em, no Bigger goin'
i■ \ HAS MADE QUITE A BUMP °°' WHEN
XSiSiP \ \ READER OOT o' Oil KuNGr II CAME,IN'. *’\ •
7m [lit HN .AvBRAD'Y HERE. J\ HEsGoTSOHE ,
-v+fcr-- | Kin Tell iF'lHers ;
d ,-;<Cr.Y;\ A FUNNER ENGINE j
S N-H-U-FHj+H . IHNOUR dinner |
tBHAPesTPwf PASS IMIAE NllGHr '
/ MOM POP BY TAYLOR
-ftYSBLiy Hgmgv, cousin motup/cs A ( ( Tha,t'& just The idea.- SMoxg J) >
<S<ETTIM<3 My GOAT- AU. SHE DOES J \ riER OOT- UVE GOT AN OLD T
Km IS LIE INB6D AMD COMPLAIN ANP f / SMOKER 110 THE CaARASE THAT 1
SHb r KNOW THERE'S MOtHIMG AIUNG J LV V. L USED To SMOKE BEES , —-P
Kk her -enoish t could Think j tdN. S vhTh- I'll- show >—' S
r--»,
..111 ..I ... .i..! . ... 'l' CT
HOSE OUOeR THE SEDRCOM m ( VIOMT MARE HER MOVS- J
I Jr -DOOR AMD PUMP SMOKS 1 l SHE'LL LEAVE THAT BEi> Lr SHE LL T&AR y,
lliL IfOTO HER f?COM AMD J | OKE A .STREAK OOKJM ThS
SnJ_ L'LL YELL '*Y l I(ZG."J j TNI k
)OOT)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOy
f Don’t Be Misled, Look and see that |
| t ou get the yellow checkered Bag |
I and then you will know that you %
have got the original Startina to
feed your baby chix on.
Cash Feed Store
PHONE 122 SOUTH CHURCH ST. - j |9
voooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo : ‘
| FANCY DRY GOODS WOMEN’S WEAR |
i
fOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoaoooooooacxycKx^xiooooooooc><xxyaoo»'
DELCO LIGHT 1
Light Plants and Batteries
5 Deep and Shallow Well Pumps for Direct or Alter- ; 1
8 nating current and Washing Machines for Direct or Al- <
2 ternating Current. ]
R. H. OWEN, Agent
8 __Phone 669 Concord, N. C. ;j i ,
Good Used Cars For Sale
Ford Touring, 1923 Model
Overland 4 Touring, 1924 Model
9 Studebaker Bix Six Sedan. 1923 Model
Overland 1 Touring, 1923 Model.
Auto Supply & Repair Co.
«« Sta a- Dim.' r-— —- ■ ,
A TROY COUCH HAMMOCK ON YOUR LAWN OR |
PORCH WILL MAKE THIS SUMMER
WORTH LIVING TO YOU
Comp ami see the beautiful patterns, especially our Model C jj
Couch Hummock, covered with finely woven Double Filled Duck, |i
Straw with Japanese Pagoda Motif. They will not fade, crack or t
soften when exposed to the weather. A rich dignity is created by ’(jj
the use of Art Motifs on Couch Hammocks constructed in the three j
panel effect. Then, too, the Troy Hammock has many exclusive fea
tures which we will be glad to you.
■ Beeves Tour Contest Closes Monday, May 3rd. Help your
1; friends.
H. B. WILKINSON
Out of the High Kent District, Where Parking Space Is Plentiful jjj
and time unlimited.
j Concord Kannapolis, MoorcsviUe China Grove |
Hot Water
This gas hot water heater
f f * s surely a friend in need and
Jgj! T'flsJ I a friend indeed of every cook
|| ftl match and in a few minutes
j steaming hot water run
Pays for itself quickly.
E. B. GRADY :
PLUMBING AND HEATING DEALER
Office and Show Room 39 E. Corbin St. Office Phone 334 W •<
I THE DAILY TRIBUNE
i ■ AND
THE PROGRESSIVE FARMER
BOTH ONE I’EAU AT THE FOLLOWING PRICES:
In State outside Concord $5.25
The Progressive Farmer is the best farm paper published, and its
price is SI.OO a year.
You need not pay for the Progressive Farmer at the same time you
pay for The Tribune. We will get it for you a whole year at any time
on payment of only 25 cents.
Pay your subscription to The Tribune to any contestant, bat,
come to The Tribune office to pay for your Progressive Farther.
PAGE SEVEN