„ r Thursday, May 6, 1926 Dinner Stories If Things Go On This Way- War had been declared, and there was constration at Washington. For all our fighting forces were under movie contracts and couldn’t be spared by the film magnates. The Game. A flivver cjriver had obviously been partaking not wisely but too well of post-Volsteadian hooch, and the course traced by his car was erratic. A policeman ran out into the middle of the street and stopped him. “Say, whore you going, anyway?" he demanded. v “Xow, you jus’ wait a minute, off’cer,” replied the driver, smiling delightedly, “don’t you tell me—you jus' lemme guess!’’ The Latest Sport. The Afro-American annual social ball was in full swing when George Washington Jones appeared in the renter of the floor ominously display ing a razor. “Hoy, what yo’-all gwine to do wif dat thing?” asked Ulysses Grant Brown apprehensively, for he hap pened to be dancing with Mr. Jones’ girl. “Ah done heard,” replied Mr. Jones, “dat dis am one of dem cut-in dances.” Curious. The condemned ingn had once been an actor, and as he sat down in the electric chair a thought occurred to him. “Hay, warden,” he demanded, “is this a rehearsal or the real thing?” A Lady to Her Lbve I love the things you tell me. dear; The way you whisper in my ear That I'm the only girl for you And that you always will be true. I love to hear you prise my eyes, And tell me it is Parudise ’When I am cuddled in your arms. And you’re a slave to all my charms. But, darling, I am at a loss To know if it is applesauce. Handy. “Go you ever have to walk the floor with your baby?” asked Brown. “No,” replied Green. “I'm a post man and I simply take the baby to work with me every day.” A -j ’0 Protect Your Property and Your Money jßHrtanMtF’f VT’OUR bouse, when painted with i k Marietta House Paints, is practi . __ i guar-miced against the ravages of ■K % foul weather by the Marietta Service HUS Certificate. No other paint manufac* ( * urer offers you * cciu^ca£ie - Ask v< about it today. Concord Paint& Paper Ccnpany 342 N. Church Street Phony 18L MARIETTA PAINT ~SERvicg STATION | EVERETT TRUE BY CONDO ' BROAPCA& ' Cutest Things I New York Daily Mirror. I- ■ « . 1 A 8 Etta was walking up the stairs her teacher met her and asked, “Etta, why are you chewing on the stairs?” : Etta replied quickly. “I’m not chew ing on the stairs, I'm chewing on gum.” Son—Can you sign your name with your eyes closed, daddy? Father—Certainly. Son—Then shut your eyes and sign my school report. Didn’t Know What They Were Laughing At. Monroe Enquirer., Yesterday while standing on the stroe! admiring- some beuutiful eve ning gowns on display at a popular ready-to-wear Shop, along came two ladies. They laughed. I didn’t, see n thing funny. But later I found out theme “evening gowns” wore silk nighties. Hee-hee-hee—haw haw ! It is better to be silent and be thought a fool thiVii to open your mouth aud prove it. Melrose Flour Liberty Self Rising Flour Why use Flour that may please you- at som® tune, and will not please you at other times, and that too, when you most want the very best. Melrose is just the very best at all times. It has stood the test—on this market for more than twenty-five year’s. .Liberty Self-Rising is-made ready to bake. It's Melrose in quality. \ Our price is no higher now than any other brands. CLINE & MOOSE Phone 339 P. S.—'We Deliver Quick Ev erywhere. C/, ■ i Ai oCB^MBn 0 LETTERS BY CHARLES P. STEWART XEA Service Write Washington, May 5.—“1 desire to say nothing unpleasant.” Thus Senator Jim Reed, SEglgggggf OD PROMISE.-T'QIMEVaW B E.T WO Uf? UFE \' T [|j|g||§Jj|g? A HATIfULL- A- I-i MEAM \ x WOULD! I'D BE. HZ/Tl .: A WASH To B FuLLA