SgfcjrtW May 15,1926 Dinner Stories The High Seas. j Passenger—Ob, captain, I am no; easiek I don’t know what to do. j Captain—Don’t worry, madam,! oil’ll know shortly. \ 1 Why Not C«k*f-/,. \ It was the end qf ,4he scene, and the heroine was starving. i “Bread!" she eried, ‘‘give me J bread.’’ y ; I Then the curtain came- down with I > roll. Proud Prisoner. Judge—So you claim you robbed' le restaurant because you were starv ig. Why didn't you take same liug to eat instead of looting the nb register? Prisoner—l’m a proud man, yer iaor, an’. I makes it a rule to pay r what I eat. The Receiver. Tom —The most useful present I t was a three-tube set. Dick—ltmlio, eh ? —Jw: toothpaste, shaving Ham and hair-slicker. J ; 5 A Sport. Alice: ‘‘Do you say your every night, Teddy?” H and then.” One-way Conversation. —lt will cost you a dollar to Memphis.” I^Henpcck—But haven't you a spe rate just for listening? I want to my wife.” , -Hadn’t Seen Her. ■Sjoncs—My wife’s been trying to and is having a very bard Smith—Tell her to have faith. fkith will move uioun ■k —You may have seen inouii- but you’ve never seen my. wife, “Who Dat?" ■ Two negresses lived in the same j House. One evenin Diana, who lived] Mpstaii**, upon hearing a noise, said : ■Who dat?” w» Nan, who lived downstairs, said: ■vhb dat dat say ’who dat’?” §!m Diana replied: “Who dat dat say mßi-lio dat' when I say who dat?" mp—uwwiimi——b— n—is ■ ,. —. ——. —— , —.. ——. ———————— | Protect Your Property I and Your Money I w X7OUR bouse, when painted iritk MWmmi * Marietta House Paints, is practi gp cally guaranteed against the ravages of 1 j ;IK y fold weather by she Marietta Service kIJRORA Mml Certificate. No <»ther paint manufao turer offers you «ffb a certificate. Ask us about it today. Concord Paint & Paper Ccz ipany I 342 N. Church Street Phone. JBL 1‘ MARKTTA PAINT SERVICE STA'flhM I - i—^puswil I EVERETT TRUE BY CONDO S-— # ANDjAS>I *' tfiAS * SAYI MQl* Z PIDN’T StAOTtce- VMPfe.oveMCSNT- ,MSU-, •*,/i?l z AMD CARLtSFUL.CY .ADJv3ST&O l c ot<smt tor<q?xa;r to ss-<s (P l,cqoc.O> V |mnt>\thcs •peAr> spots, and t think: II iPUT IN AIL Oi* Tfcv.O SOC.IJP ■IS p>(ST, SWT ON'T s<s<s n TO * Embarrassinjr Moments j New York Daily Mirror. 1 j " ' r~~ — j As. I entered my home last eve i ning, I heard the telephone ring and ; went over to piek up the receiver. | , j immediately answered by calling off the name of the firiii where I am em ployed. I was embarrassed when a friendly Voice said, “Aw, come to ' ■ life.” I Kannapolis Wins Volley pall Tilt. | Kannapolis, May 14.—The local i volley ball team, wojg-tjie tbrejs team' tournament here between Charlotte, Durham and Kannapolis. i Charlotte ran roughshod over the Durham team, but was unable to hold the locals, losing the first tWo games but coming bade string fbr the third .game to wiif by-pn over whelming srtn-e. The victory of the Charlotte teapi in the final game spurred .the Queen cjty boys on gad they ' challenged their victors to ariofnef game. This contest they lost 15 to 6. Showing bheir . nerve, they chnl-. lenged for even another contest and this time won by the' same score of .the previous game. I - 5 ~ Japan has 50,000 women and girls employed as telegrgph , operators and in office work. Country Cured Meats HAMS SIPES ' SHOULDERS We always buy all the well cured, nicely trimmed country cured meats that comes on the market. The ipt we have now is Jus-, the fin est yet. SetJ you whole hap* or sliced ham. The finest ciuntry cured side to slice just like you want it. It’s fine. Talk about Western Bacon. We ! have jugt the freshest, thickest, cheap ; est and best at all times. Many other good tthings to eat. CLINE & MOOSE Phone 339 P. S. I’bone 33!). We deliver quick everywhere. BY CHARLES P. STEWART NBA Servjce Write* ‘ "Washington. May 14. —If Congress adopts Cue Haugen farm relief plan "and it jets by the president—who, j however, doesn’t Tlkje it—it wilj mean higher food prices. Spine Os the plain's friends have denied this, or at any rate, they said, the meresso will be trifling. . for instances, take a 10-cent loaf of bread. Only 2 cents' worth of wheat goes into it. The baker’s overhead and profit account for the other ,8. cents. The. Haugen plan Will increase the cost qfily of the 2 cents worth of wheat, so the consumer • won't be much, if any, affected. That's the argument. * » * ••Congressman Gilbert N, Haugen, of lowa, punctures it. As .the plan's author, he if any body, ‘ ought to know haw"'it will work. ' Congressman Black, of New York, BNked him, point blank, the other day. “Will your bill raise the price of food?” "There's no deqying it will add to , prices," was Haugen's answer. The lowan did, ip<leed, say the con siderations referred to above, would apt as a brake on the advance, “But, to be frank.” he conceded, “was as sume the bill will raise the cost of living." • * • Just how stiff the increase will be Haugen admits he can't tell. That's one of the things about a protective tariff that it’s mighty hard to dope out in advance, and a protective tariff, in reverse. . The manufacturer's protected by a tariff. Labor's protected by immigra tion restrictions. The farmer’s protected by nothing nt all. \ Long Winded Speakers. Stanly News-Herald The Statesville Landmark remarks on the long address made by. the key note speaker at the state democratic convention lust week, and says that long speeches are rarely ever listen ed to through by modern audiences, that the people prefer to get their In formation through the priiitrtl page- That's true. There is ■ nothing more tiresome than a long, dry, nddress, void of animation and personality on the part of the speaker. It may con tain fine thought well arranged, but if it be long and poorly delivered, nobody listens to it. The time has come when speakers who expect to rgnch, interest and influence men, must make it snappy and short. Twenty minutes to half an hour is lon enough for any public speaker to tdke up in an address, and even t'ben, ho clkuiul have a message, amf deliver -|t with earnestness a lit] animation', if he expects his hearers to listen. Long winded speakers will soon be completely boycotted. , i ill’l s <dvc W. J. HETHCOX qoqoooooooooooooooqooooo Just Arrived! | CROCHETED j STRAWS The Hats Worn By Smart Women at I Southern and Eurd ' pean Resorts. n ! iV obinson’s i Millinery Dept. MISS ALLIE LEGG, Prop. Phone 830 $ s Specinji $ $ * j- . " it Four 35c Cans Sliced or 41 grated Pineapple Three 50c Cans Bartlett R1 Pears ill Syrup —--- Four 35c Cans Red Pit- ffl ted’Cherries for All Good Quality Packs Cabarrus Caah Grocery Co. THE CONCORD t>A!LY TRIBUNE The Gentje Art of Inclining the Twig. *aMs BssPccT \ Tfte VHSH6S ANC? ' "\ , \ nt^ F W Y£ZZ,R vj! "W v«xn eeuwas a ‘wiw* 4 ToAsdtot* ,| fßxiNDrw '"j / 05MEMB52* IH6 , SeLFISM y C3OiB iTALL \ I s tA. ' • \ BUT fcBSETABooTrKfeI ~ ' SLlo * 3 *s . \n /C / home a car loap mwrjrm y nrjJ? jaWm OUT OUR WAY BY WILLUMS I s'. —-s. /r-^v?.^F PIENP ' D M fIDORaBLEI lqn Ik ft A.. ru U-rtLE MISOMO&RS-rAoOlMa.'*'^ MOWN POP BY TAYLOR Vi£LUM*?fn.BA- -fHAfffe TfiE FiftST MQ C~-Xr , S V&fBAHGB vuorld- , > ; \W 1 (|f rOMOLINE SWEET FEED j TO FEED YOUR HORSES AND MULES | And you can feed one-third less and keep your stock better on a Balanced Feed than you can on oats or corn. | Cash Feed Store Pj 2 PHONE 122 SOUTH CHURCH ST. § m l 7 Wm-Miimu in i M r I FANCY DRY GOODS WOMEN’S WEAR | lOOOQOOOOOOOOOoooooocoooboooiKvaqoooooopooaoanow DELCO LIGHT Light Plants and Batteries i Deep and Shallow Well tumps for Direct or Alter- srri 18 nating current and Washing Machines for Direct or AJ- , ’J® 8 ternating Current. 1 R. H. OWEN, Agent § „-Phone 669 Concord, N. C. J 1 1« to °OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOaOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO» Good Used Cars For Sale Ford Touring, 1.923 Model Overland 4 Tburing, 1924 Model Studebaker. Bix Six Sedan, 1923 Model Overland 4 Touring, 1923 Model. . *;?' Auto Supply & Repair Co. 1 | ‘Beautiful Summer Time Is Porch Time $3 m Ce US 0I orc * l Swings, Old Hickory Chairs, and Ta- At Amazing ‘Price Savings hies. Hammock Swings and Just received a new shipment of Kiml&rk tm Porch Rugs. Now showing a Woven Rugs in latest m colors and patterns, W large selection of Quality Comeinandseethem. They are tremendously fZ low-priced and 1 Porch Goods. yaaraef service. yy/ ‘ * KWfVSWWJONIHEVpwrHCIia: H. B. WILKINSON Out ot the High Rent District, Where Parking Space Is Plentiful and time unlimited. Concord Kannaoolis, MooresviHe China Grove" Tni . t un|| —t - p—.... -■— Hot Water IjP 1 is surely a friend in need and i IPf match and in a few minutes p. steaming hot water will ruip-*' Pays for itself quickly. E.B. GRADY M PLUMBING AND HEATING DEALER Office and Show Room 39 E. Corbin St. Office Krone 334 W I THE DAILY TRIBUNE 9 and » - THE PROGRESSIVE FARMER 1 BOTH ONE TEAR AT THE FOLLOWING PRICES r .E^ Ip State outside Concord , $5.25 |i The Progressive Fanner is the best farm paper puMUhad. apAiteiKS price is SI.OO a year. You need not pay for the Progressive Farmer at the game tini« you H pay for The TribuuA We will get it for you a whole year at any time ■ on payment of only 2a cents. v ' ' ; Pay your subscription to The Tribune to any contestant, but K come to The Tribune office to pay for your Progressive Farmer. a ■ , ...... ..... ...... ... ... ... ... ..... 1i,..,,.. .... Cj ...... ..j,, j. ... ..... ... - . I PAGE SEVEN

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