, Saturday, May 29, 1926
Dinner Stories
Norton —It’s easy to see your peo- |
came from Ireland. I
J'Rlley— An’ tiat’s where you’re
jng. They did nothing of the
id.
Norton —What? Didn’t they pome
m Ireland? With that brogue?
TRiley—They did not. They’re -
•re yet.
(indly Mrs. Henderson had taken .
Interest in the tramp who ap- 1
red at her door one morning. “So f
can’t read or write?" she said
dm. “Dear, dear!”
No, mum, but I'm flunkin' of tak
pp a correspondence course in
lin’.”
Id Mrs. Jones was about to era
t on her first airplane ride and.
arally enough, was a bit timid
it the adventure. “Now, before
start, young man.” she cautioned
pilot, “I want, it distinctly un-
Bood that we're not to get out
ght of land.”
Emigration Agent—Married- or:
Ee?
Epplicant-— Married.
■Where were you married?”
P don't know.”
■Don't know where you were mar
»?’’
I though you said ‘Why’.”
■Stein —Could you oblige me with a
Era m?
Hcket Attendant—But the show's
over!
Hrin—l know that, but I want to
to my wife where I’ve been.
H Scotchman was traveling from
Hago to his home in New York. At
Hy station be got out and returned
Bthless and perspiring a few min
■ later. A fellow traveler watched
■ in astonishment, and asked, final
■ “Would you mind telling me why
■ keep rushing out at every sta-
Er
Ehc Scotchman replied: “Aweel, ye
E, I’ve been to Chicago to Consult
Eccialist. He telt me I wns awfu'
End that I micht drap died before
Hot hanie, so I’m just hookin’ mu
Esage frae station to station.”
I Country-Cured
Meats
HAMS SIDES SHOULDERS
| We always buy all the well cured,
icely trimmed country cured meats
pt comes oq the market.
■The lot we have now Is just the fln-
E yet. Sell you whole hams or
Eed ham.
Ehc finest country cured side to
Bee just JUnrrnrr’Watit It. It’s fine.
■3Mk about Western Bacon. Wt
Mfc just the, freshest, thickest, cheap
ly and b|n at all times.
Elany good tthings to eat.
CLINE & MOOSE
IPhone 339
■P. S. Phone 339. We delivei
pick everywhere.
I Protect Your Property
and Your Money
ft WSSmesSBM&t TfOUR bou*e, wb«n painted with
Mg I Marietta Haute Pafats, it pnctL
Jf v p / caily guaranteed again* the ravages of
IV XK % foul weather by the Marietta Service
L Cer.iiicatc. No other paint manufac
■ 1 turer offers you mk& • certificate. Aak
I u* about it today.
I Concord Paint & Paper Company
1842 N. Church Street Phone 10L
|~»IAR«TTA PAINT STATION
OLLY AND HER PALS IT’S THE TRUT *^ _ t ■ . ___ j
■ '" :v: ;- — ’■■■.; ' — <
Stingiest Person
New York Daily Minor. ,
The stingiest person I know is my
boss, - who makes me walk three
Klotfks to buy him -two packages ‘of j
cigarettes for a quarter.
TiiC stingiest person I know is a i
man who will not weat his coot and i
hat when going to a -dance, so that he
doesn’t linvc to check them. '
'
I The stingiest person I know is a I
| burglar that entered our house mwb
after taking all our silver, took the' I
bracelet off the doll.
The stingiest person I know iai M
neighbor of mine who sends 1 his Vic
trpla needles to be resharpened. . 1
Radio Fans to See How ItVSoa*.
Berne, Switzerland, May 28-.- —'The
directors of the radiocasting station in
Berne have organised for tomorrow a
fete which, it is intended, will inter
est amateurs and give them an oppbr
tunity of appreciating the possibili
ty of radio. AU .owners of recciy
r.ng sets constructed sos listening-in |
to tfie Herne station have been invited
to be present. The studio Will be
installed on the stage of-the korsaal
Schanzli in order that every visitor
may be able to see how concerts and,
other features are normally broad-1
cast. Noted attibts and musicians
have volunteered their services for
the occasion, and the public will bo
put directly in touch w.‘th those to
whom they have, so far, only listened
in.
Sadler's WMls Theatre, shortly to
be reconstructed, is the oldest play
house in London.
Special
Saturday
| Only |
$4.95 Hats for
$1.98 |
\
8 I 11 V
e . |
1 1
Millinery Dept.
O MISS ALLIE LEGO, Prop.
Phone 830
sr 8 k
COMMENCEMENT WORK 1
6*N AT LENOIR-RHYNE
New President Is to Be Inaugurated I
and ’Sixty-Pour Graduates Dispos
ed Os.
Hickory. May 38 —W*)—With the
junior oratorical contest here tonight,
the final* at Lenolr-Bbyne College,
local Lutheran institution, got under- l
Way. The commencement exercises 1
.gill be coueluded on next Wednesday, i
The feature of tomorrow’s program '
will be the annual musical concert,!
Which will occur tomorrow evening at
8:15. , |
On Sunday, the bsccclAi-. rente ser
mon Will he preached In thy city au- 1
ditorium by the Itev. Charles 8. Baus-
Ijti, of Harrishurg, Pa. In the eve
ning the Rev. E. J. Sox, of Hickory,
n&ll deliver the sermon before the
Christian organizations of the college
Hl^'. 1 Andrews' -Church. •>,
Tli* contest, in declamation will be
held On Monday morning at 10 .o’clock
and that evening at 8:15 the college
play will i>» -presented. |
Features of Tuesday will be the i
formal inauguration as -president of
the institution of H. Brent Schaeffer,
die alumni banquet and alumni ad
dress, to be delivered by Richard E.
Thigpen, of Durham, and the literary
address. President 8. J. Dvrrick.of
Newberry College, Newberry, S. C.,,
will deliver the literary address,
. The inaugural ceremonies will Oc
| cur Tuesday tnorniifg fit 10:30, fol
lowt-d bjr the alumni banquet atid ad
dress. by Mr. Thigpen and a busi
ness meeting of the Alumni Associa
tion, at 12:30. Class day exercises
will also occur ou Tuesday, this item
of the program coming at 5 :30. Pres
ident Derrick’s address will be de
livered in the evening at 8:15.
On Wednesday morning the school
year for Lenoir-Rbyne wKI come to a
close, whh the .fingl exercises at 10:80.
At dils time will."come, the graduat
ing exercises, the graduating address
es, and £he presentation of degrees,
awarding of certificates and medals,
etc.
Got Hooked on His Own Tackle,
i (By International News Service)
[ Orangeburg, 8. C„ May- '2B.—Div
l ing to the bottom of Edisto River in
eighteen feet of water searching for
a box of fishing tackle which last
i ladt November when his boat sunk,
i and getting hooked on his own tackle,
I is l'ie experience related by Benton
i Be)i, Orangeburg sportsman.
' Determined to salvage his lost out
\ fit. Bell wont to the Lot tom of the
stream at the place where his bruit
j turned over, and in feeling for the
i box of tackle, caught his'finger on a
I hook extending beyond the lid. He
\ was unable to free '.lilnself for some
time, but finally managed to stmiglit
| en the hook and - come to the sur
i face.
Courting Danger.
i “How’d they ‘come to boitnee the
i fire chief?” asked Abe Hinkle, who
| had been out of town for a couple of
days.
I I “He took too many dad-blamed
1 risks,” answered Joe Madge. "Why.
]he even wore his celluloid collar tc
ifires.”
When: the Roll is Called.
1 “Good by*,'’ said the pedestrian
| nk he started to crews the street
i “Meet you up yonder.”
v OUTDOOR SPORTS I '\ -
fU’iSTS I w wSßbk
1 i 1 : ' 'Tiffif Mr
fw’Cs.'hcsSßi ~I -r •. EBrYfi r-fy-i?
Jyou 36£
1
" •- - - 1 - ■■ g
THfc CONCORD DAILY TRlfcUNfc
PREACHER ADVOCATES
FLOGGING FOR HOME MEN
Boston Minister Says Robbers, Boot
leggers and Wife-Beaters ShouM
Be Whipped.
(By International News Service)
Boston, May 28—Flogging for
youthful robhers, patrons of bootleg
gers, wife-beaters and sinnehi against
children is recommended by Rev. Wil
liam Harman Van Allen.
! The famous clergyman does not
believe bobbed hair is responsible for
feminine crime as represented by
I bobbed-haired girl bandits.
Dr. Van Allen believes in the ease
1 of young bandits that flogging would
be mueti more beneficial than to im
prison them with older, more hardened
criminals.
He is against capital punishment,
because the sentence cannot be re
scinded in case of discovery of newt
evident-e after execution of sentence. '
He favors placing murder restraiht
any person possessed of homicidal
OVER SUNDAY TOURISTS
' '._ggiL'.._U_U_Jß.. ' 1 11 ' *
teudem-i.-s, even though fn prison. |
rather than to be freb-to attack in
aocent persons.
Dr. Van Allen denounced emotion
al women who wbrm interest |
in criminals who are dearly unworthy
of wympHthy. I
GvLit indignation was cxpressetl by
the 'preacher at the charge that pro
hibition had increased crime. The
only- possible way this could be true,
he said, was in the sense that crim
inals would show more intelligence
in ‘their nefarious work when without
whiskey.
Dr. Van Alien wan speaking on
“Crime ami Pumshmenet*' in the
chapel cf the Church off the Advent.
Justice
“Do you want to be fined for con
tempt of court?” asked the stern
judge
“No, sir.')' replied the weary but
truthful witness, “but I guess it
would be no more tban's coming to
me.”
«
Eat More Fish
Better Than Pork For Hot
Weather and Cheaper
We have Extra Nice Speck- !
led Trout, Gray Trout, Rock !
Fish and Butter Fish.
Sanitary Grocery §
Co. >
OMOLINE SWEET FEED I
TO FEED YOUR HORSES AND MULES |
And you can feed one-third less and keep your stock up 8
better on a Balanced Feed than you can on oats or corn. 5 ,
B hba
Cash Feed Store H
| PHONE 122 SOUTH CHURCH ST. |
X wrrt
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Light Plants and Batteries I
I Deep and Shallow Will Pumps for Direct or Alter- i'R
o’ nating current and Washing Machines for Direct or Al - S
X ternating Current. i | •
R. H. OWEN, Agent
O ..Phone 689 Concord, N. C. ''■ j
M|||| ~— ■ " *• r
Y ' {
Have your car greased with ALEMITE HIGH PRES
SURE greasing system.
'i ‘: i?r
We Specialize in Car Washing, Polishing, Alemite >
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Gas, Oil Tires, Tubes, Accessories, Tire and Tube re- .
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1 .. PHONE 700
{pHnaßaarowaCT
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Office and Show Room 39 E. Corbin St. Office Phone 384 W
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I THE DAILY TRIBUNE I
I THE PROGRESSIVE FARMER 1
!BOTH ONE YEAR AT THE FOLLOWING PRIDES:
In State outside Concord .___s3.2s
The Progressive Farmer is the bent farm paper published, ami it* 1
price is 81-00 a year. I
You need not pay far the Progreeeif# Farmer at the same time yon W
pay for The Tribone. We wffl get‘it for you a whole year at any time K
on payment of only 25 cents. B
Pay your subscription to The Tribune to any contestant, but
come to Thc Tribune' officc to jhy for your-Progressive Farmer. w
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PAGE SEVEN
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Concord Kannapolis
Mooresville China Grove