ICODA
FOISTE
LOANED FREE AT
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3ust (Bosstp
IN A BIG HURRYP
THERE'S PLENTY OF
TIME
When You Ride With
PENDY
C. S. PEN DERGRAFT
CHAPEL HILL. AND DURHAM AUTOMOBILE LINE
DAILY SCHEDULE
Leave Chapel Hill:
8:30 A. M.
10:20 A. M.
2:30 P. M.
4:00 P. M.
Leave Durham:
9:50 A. M.
12:40 P. M.
5:08 P. M.
8:00 P. M.
"THE ALL WE THER MAN"
THE PICKAIRD HOTEL
W. M. UZZELL, PROP.
Rooms and Board at Reasonable
Rates
Excellent Service
CHAPEL HILL HARDWARE CO.
HEADQUARTERS FOR
All kinds of Cutlery, Razors, Strops, Pocket Knives, Scissors, etc.
All kinds of Paints and Oils
;patterson !&ros.
ob Store
"prescription TDrugists
AGENTS
NORRIS CANDY
AGENTS
VAN LINDLEY'S FLOWERS
WRIST WATCHES, DIAMONDS, AND A
GOOD LINE OF JEWELRY
AT
THE OLD RELIABLE STORE
f f man Jfctoefrg COmpanj)
LEADING JEWELERS
GREENSBORO, NORTH CAROLINA
' WHEN IN
j durham Old Tank Hunter ;
! EAT AT THE
IS ON THE JOB WITH
R.0V3.1 Cdi6 F0UR BIG HUDS0N CARS
AND APPRECIATES YOUR
' . U. N. C. STUDENTS' ' .
HEADQUARTERS PATRONAGE
Chemistry quiz question: "What
;ippens to salt when it is nut in
Student answer: "It gets wet."
Walter Feimster, '19, has returned
to the Hill to finish his course.
Ben Cone, '20, is a "leatherneck" at
Georgia Tech.
A fearful tale must be disclosed.
The night is dark and lowering, and
dark the deed about to be perpe
trated upon the peaceful inhabitants
of this .campus. The scene of the
crime is the Quartermaster's Head
quarters in which a large supply of
large uniforms awaits distribution to
the Rookies on the morrow. Oh, hor
rors! what will the morrow, bring
forth? Look creeping in the dark
among the piles of enormous boots!
A villain of unspeakable deeds, a des
picable tool of the Kaiser, a German
Propagandist,- whose taks 5t is to
spread torture and mental anguish
among the people of our land; Newly
defeated in his most fiendish attempt
to rob defenceless women and chil
dren of some millions of hours of
morning sleep, balked and enraged he
turns upon the S. A. T. C.'s through
out the land. The torture of rising
in darkness is nothing to the pain
about to be inflicted through these
innocent boots. Doubtless the villain
is loading the "hard boys" with in
fernal machines or horrible poison as
he creeps around the room. Now, his
deed accomplished, he disappears.. We
see him no more. ' Only his handiwork
remains.
, And the next day behold a campus
full of peaceful doughboys happily
acquiring a unnorm. Each repairs to
his Barracks to accomplish the final
change by plunging into enormous
"hard boy" boots. Caution, young sol
dier, what horror lurks in the yawn
.'ng depths of your new footgear!
Hark! what was that? Steps and
the explosion of thousands of infernal
machines! Frightful sounds of an
guish and destruction issue forth! Si
lence again and loud explosions as a
soldier takes a timid step on tiptoe
across the croom. Despair and horror
ensue. The soldiers issue from their
barracks in fearful agony! Loud ex
plosions accompany each step, sounds
which upset the strongest nerve and
cause many to tremble on the verge
of a mental, collapse!
Where is that vile fiend, that tor
turer of non-combatants? His final
crime is accomplished and no more
may we walk in peace. He is the
man who put the squeak in the "hard
boys" and henceforth his crime has
condemned us to go among our fel
lows on tiptoe, our approach heralded
by nerve-wracking creaks and the air
around us forever clamorous with dis
cordant torture! : ' "-.
'"Twas in the year one thousand,
nine hundred and eighteen, that, while
I was selling strings for beans in
the town of Chapel Hill, N. C, caustic
changeful chance had so prepared for
me a weary walk across the campus
of the U. JM. L. It was a dark and
dismal dingy night, and verily I felt
as tho the evil one was wandering
ruthlessly around the row of rustic
buildings; no lights were lit; the hour
of ten was past and parted; musty
mist was mangling 'midst the moody
air; the wind it blew the foliage of
the stately trees across the gluey
ground; I shudered as a flickering
firefly flew my eyebrow past; som
ber snores slunk the windows of the
bricky barracks out, proceeding first
from snoozy, simple souls within,
whilst overhead a hurricane of hazy
clouds, excluding light of all celestial
bodies, rushed blindly onward, I know
they knew not where. I wished I was
not where I was, but yet I was. I
quickened my shaking unsteady stride.
'What, ho ? all is lostP, quoth I. 'What
sounds of such uncanny creepy na
ture greet my ears?' Ah! No snores
are these. Such sounds as I now
hear are not such as become this
world. A shrieking? no! A creak
ing? or is it but a squeaking? My
time has come. The sound ap
proaches from the rear, and lo! it
gains on me. My limbs have ceased
to work. All is lost. 'Tis well, for
many days have I enjoyed in this
world. I am content. 'Tis surely his
Satanic majesty who rides on creaky
wheels of rusted iron. I cannot look
back. I shrink behind a tree and
wait my doom.
An S. A. T. C. M. P. in issued
shoes doth pass me by. I am re
lieved. Thus ends the narrative."
When the S. A. T. C. is abandoned,
it is generally understood that, by
vote of the student body, a set of
regulations similar to the following
will be enforced:
Alarm clocks must not be found in
any of the dorm rooms.
Shoes are to be shined only once t
week or less. Baths may be taken
oftener than twice a week, and no one
shall spend less than half an hour in
the shower room.
The meaning of the word "grat"
must be revealed to Freshmen.
At least one picture must be tacked
on the wall for every square foot of
space. i
No one shall go to bed before 11
P.M.
Two hours or more a day must be
spent loafing downtown.
The numerals one to four must not
be referred to except on Math, class.
Try ANDREWS CASH STORE For
A TAILORED UNIFORM
Army Hats, Leggings, Shoes; High-Grade Gents' Furnishings
WE ARE ALWAYS GLAD TO SEE
YOU FOLKS from CHAPEL HILL
MAKE OUR STORE YOUR HEADQUARTERS
WHEN YOU ARE IN DURHAM
THE ROYALL & BORDEN CO.
D. T. SASSER, MANAGER
IF you want the best pipe
that can be made, you
can get it in a W D C up
to $6. If you want the best
genuine French Briar that
as little as 75 cents will buy,
you can get it in aWDC.
American made, in all sizes
and styles, and sold at the
best shops.
TRADE
MARK
No man ever had a better
pipe than this one. Care
fully selected genuine
French Briar, a sterling
ring and vulcanite bit,
band fitted and finished
by an expert.
WM. DEMUTH & CO., New York
World's Largest Pipe Manufacturer
STOP RIGHT HERE AND GET A MILITARY HAIRCUT
A. W HARTON'S
The Sanitary Shop Next to Main Street Pharmacy
Durham, N. C.
If it's Football Togs or
Athletic Glothing
WE HAVE IT
ODELL HARDWARE COMPANY
THE A. A. KLUTTZ CO.
THE STUDENTS' STORE
L
DURHAM SHOE SHINE. PARLOR
OLD HATS MADE NEW ALL SHINES 10c
Opposite Paris Theatre Durham, N. C.
MAIN STREET PHARMACY
TELEPHONE 541 THE REXALL STORE
DURHAM, N. C.
WHEN YOU ARE IN GREENSBORO EAT AT
HOTEL HUFFINE-... . .-Jands- HENNESSEE CAFE
At tho PuHoger Station 342-344 South Elm Street
J. R. DONNELL, Manager and Proprietor
HOME OF GOOD COOKING IN GREENSBORO
The present Mess Hall shall be
forever known as "Swine."
Groups of students, when walking ,
across the campus, will not be allowed
to keep step.
The difference between "Zip" and
Phi Beta Kappa should be explained
to Freshmen.
NO MAIL SERVICE ANYHOW
Willie Hohenzollern (after Berlin
fell): "But, mein friendt, I want to
write a letter to papa."
Yankee Guard: "Nothin' doin',
Heinie! We don't have any asbestos
stationery around here." Indianapolis
Star.