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DOINGS OF A CAROLINA MAN
From his peaceful sumbers the
Carolina man is awakened by the
ringing peals of a faithful Big Ben
lying beside his pillow. He jumps
up, thinking it is the Method church
bell giving herald of some disaster
at Swain Hall, caused by the neg
ligence , of thoughtless Ethiopians.
But as he sees the rays of the moon
flitting peacefully through his open
shutter, he realizes that he has been
the victim of a delusion, caused per
haps by the fifth cup of coffee which
he took the night before. (In this
case1 th6 law of diminishing utility did
not Apply). His fear having been
cast aside, he glances at ye old In
gersoll hanging on the wall and
finds that it is yet 9 minutes and 39
seconds till eight. The Big Ben had
spoofed him for had he hot set Ben
boy for 7 minutes and 30 seconds till
eight. Saying , things that Big Ben
would not enjoy were he an animate
object, our hero again sticks his head
under the covers to enjoy the two
minutes and 7 seconds of repose to
, which all the laws of the campus en
But when his time is up, like all
other good Carolina men, he prompt
ly rises, for it would be sacrilegious
to grat the 8:30. Not having a
Tiber handy across which he can
swim three times, he must needs make
his ablutions on a more limited scale.
All the sacred rites having been per
formed he flits across the campus,
seemingly in a haste to get some
where. The somewhere being, of
course, Swain Hall, or in common
parlance, Swine. (For here at Caro
line we live free from the conventions
that make miseries of the lives of
millionaires and others.) Having
reached this famous eating house
which is rivalled only by Sim-Jim's
still more famous weinie shop, life
takes on a better appearance. He de
vours the tough steak and cold grits
with an avidity which is only sur
passed by that an adolescent youth
who has been seven days and six
nights without food.
Having laid away an ample break
fast, our hero begins another flight
across the campus this time . in the
direction of the Alumninum Building.
For he has .an engagement with the
professor and since it would grieve
the professor if he were not there and
cause huge tears to roll down the pro
fessor's cheek (such as rolled down
Pluto s cheek), he dare not be ab
sent when the roll is called down
there. But he has ample reward when
he sees the smile that bedecks the
professor's face when he (the Caro
lina man), answers to his name.
Having won the professor's favor
by coming on, he proceeds to fill out
the hours of slumber which were so
rudely interrupted by the untimely
actions of Big Ben. But this all ends
at; the conclusion of the first class,
for the succeeding ones require a bit
more concentration! since the profes
sors thereof are themselves 4 hour
sleepers and have no regard for those
who require four hours and 50 mm
utes. But our hero breaks the mon
otony of the morning's lectures by a
couple hours of fruitful study at the
library, during which time he gets
up the assignments for the morrow,
Finally the 1:20 bell rings and an
other dash for Swain.
No more certainly does the dark
ness of the night follow the light of
the day than does the journey to the
United States Government building
follow the hearty dinner at Swain.
In the, vast multitude that throngs
the lobby of xsaid building that our
hero becomes one among the many.
Slowly but valiantly he wends his
weary way towards box 1111 and he
is destined to not be disappointed.
For upon his arrival there he sees
that the box is full of tender and
dainty missives. Eagerly he fumbles
in his pocket for the Yale, inserts
in another Yale and lo the box is
open. There is wafted to his nostrils
the sweet odor of attar of roses.
He is all excitement. But a look of
sadness and disappointment comes
over his fair features as he reads
the address and finds that each and
every one is for his room-mate.
In a spirit of utter dejection he
goes . off to seek recompense for his
woes by delving into the secrets of
nature. In one laboratory he finds a
solace. Many observations he makes
and faithfully does he record them in
his ever-present note-book. Having
completed his experiment he hands
in his notebook to the professor and
passes out into the open air.
The Carolina man believes in de
velopment of the body as well as of
the mind. So he goes out to engage
in his favorite exercise whether it
be work in the gym or on the field or
in Captain Browne's boxing class.
He finds more pleasure therein than .in
listening to lectures of the professors.
For an hour or two his mind is free
and his heart is light and a flush of
youthful vigor regained spreads
over his cheeks. But as the shadows
of evening approach he ceases his
labors and takes a shower prepara
tory for another pilgrimage to Swain.
After supper he first goes to the
"Y" dance hall and for some quar
ter of an hour trips to light fantas
tic. All the latest jazzes are to :e
found there and the heart of the Caro
lina man is rejoiced. But even this
amusement cannot long engage his
attention for 'tis time for the Pick.
And to the Pick he goes. Theda
Bura, Normal Talmadge, Wallace
Reid, and many stars of the screen
we sre at the Pick (for it is a stu
dent enterprise and we are well
served). Many heads do ache as the
results of collisions with the lovely
ground-peas thrown by some strong
and texterous right arm. But the
music contei balances the peanuts.
After -the Pick the Carolina man
again takes himself to the Govern-1
ment building and finds there a notice
that the "Venus and Adonis Club will
meet tonight. Very important. All
members urged to be present. 9:30
P. M." And to the meeting he goes.
The ideals and ideals of other people
are fully revealed and discussed, and
final judgment passed. This meeting
before over, the rounds must be made
and the latest scandals heard. A ses
sion in this room and another in that.
The hours pass by. Our hero col
lects a whole memorandum book full
of news which will be released to the
campus the next morning. Toward
his own domicile he makes his way.
and being well worn out by the ac
tivities of the day, the Carolina man
again gives himself over to the gen
tie care of Morpheus.
Harnett Club Postpones
' Issue County Bulletin
At a meeting held here several
nights ago the Harnett County Club
decided not to issue the Harnett
County Bulletin this year, but to wait
till next fall. This decision came af
ter a conference with Dr. E. G.
Branson, head of the Department of
Rural Economics and Sociology, who
advised this postponement. Dr. Bran
son stated that if the bulletin is issued
next fall, the 1920 census can be used,
together with the completed reports
of property valuation in Harnett.
When the decision was made by the
Club to postpone the date of issue of
the bulletin, practically all the busi
ness arrangements had been com
pleted. The merchants and' business
men of the county have shown their
loyal support of the project in con
tributing liberal advertizements. It
is with regret that the postponment
will have to be made, but in view of
Dr. Branan's information, it seemed
to the Club the wisest plan.
Curtis L. Vogler, of the class of '19,
who has held a position at Hartsville,
S. C, since graduation, is at his home
in Winston-Salem convalescing from
an attack of influenza. Vogler re
cently suffered the breaking of an
ALL SUBSCRIPTIONS ARE
Past Due 1
We muat ask our subscribers who haven't mailed their checks
to consider our position and let us have
PI ' ' ffj
MOST men prefer the pipe to any other form of smoking.
There's comfort, contentment, real satisfaction and
economy in a good pipe. W D C Pipes give you this, and
more. A special seasoning process makes the genuine French
briar bowl break in sweet and mellow. Pick a good shape
at your nearest dealer's, at your price.
WM. DEMUTH & CO., NEW YORK
WORLD'S LARGEST MAKERS OF FINE PIPES
Some famous books which will be
out shortly are: Bathing Beauties I
Have Known, by Sunshine Baugh;
Math Profs I have known, by C. L.
Darling; My Next Presidential Race,
by W. J. Bryan; Lyric or Bust, by
Albert F. Barry; Other Lanes Than
Lovers, by Senor Alfonso Suton,
LL. D., B. V. D. XYZETC and other
wise. ALL REGIMENTAN FOOTBALL
End McMillian ,,;.', ,i ' ;', ,; ;:r
End Jenks .. .
Guard Wilson, D. H.
Center Drew .........
Fullback Jones .
Halfback) Becknall . ...
Halfback Burkhalter ....... . ..
Coach George Griffin :
SOME FAMOUS TERMINALS
Soup to nuts.
Alpha to Omega.
Dan to Beersheba.
Top to toe.
Atlanta to Decatur (and return).
Morning to night.
Cover to cover.
July the First.
November the Eleventh.
Second week of exams.
Sweet young thing Don't the logs
kinder thrill you will their tuneful
whistle and mournful whine?
Freshie Sure! Kinder reminds me
of a logarithm.
1st Fresh Are you going to the
; 2nd Fresh Nope, what size shirt
do you wear? Technique.
R. O. T. C. UNIT TAKES UP
The members of the R. O. T. C.
unit are now to receive boxing in
struction. In place of the usual set
ting-up exercises with which the men
are wont to pass away part of their
time each drill formation, they are
now being shown the various punches
and hooks of the science by the ser
geants in charge. Emory Wheel.
The golden glamor of romance has
penetrated the prosaic walls of the
University and called forth eight
young Don Quixotes. In two bands
they have sallied out from the shel
tering walls of the University and
gone to take temporary jobs as bank
presidents or to start Central Ameri
can revolutions. One ardent group
set out to discover the orange groves
of Florida and the other chose New
Orleans as their point of exodus for
South America. These restless souls
went out in search of adventure.
Yackety Yack Nearly
Ready For the Press
Indications show that this year's
Yackety Yack will do its share in up
holding the high standard set by the
Carolina annuals of previous years.
It will be just a little larger than its
predecessors, having about four hn
dred and twenty pages in all and al
thbugh almost everything has gone
up in price it will cost little more.
This year's annual will set forth a
new idea in Carolina annuals by hav
ing a typical cartoon for every senior
along with his photograph and write
up. It will also have three new sec
tions, an alumni section, a Carolina
Vanity Fair or Beauty section and a
section devoted to the industries of
the State." The Vanity Fair section
will have" in It photographs of several
of the leading beauties of the State
end therefore will appeal to every
man, young or old.
Pay your subscription now.
TONE is a test for he ear,
not for the eye. The glori
ous Voice of the Grafonola can
sing its own praises far better than
any words we can put in type.
Before you decide upon a phono
graph you should certainly hear the
Grafonola. Test its tone by ear. Play
any record oh any Grafonola when
ever you like and as often as you like.
We have all the latest Records. De
cember Records now on sale. Come
in and hear them. Our doors open
with a welcome.
The Royall & Borden Company
Corner Main and Market Street, Durham, N.JC.
SHINES THAT LAST"
AND SOMEHOW THEY JUST MAKE
A NEW HAT I ROM THAT OLD ONE
DURHAM SHOE SHINE PARLOR I
Sold on 30
FOR THE MAN WHO CARES
M. MOSES CLOTHING-THE FIRST
HAVE YOUR MEASURE TAKEN TO-DAY FOR THAT FALL SUIT
ANDREWS CASH STORE
Jeweler and Optometrist
CHAPEL HILL, N. C.
Scfytffmatt llewclr? (To
University Raises Hogs;
Supplies Meat for Swain
It is interesting to note that the
University raises its own hogs to sup.
ply Swain Hall with its hog meat
The pasture i3 located in the edge
Of the woods south of the campus, and
at present about seventy hogs are
being raised. Mr. Pickard states that
the Universiy has supplied its own
hog meat for some time now, and that
this year hogs have been raised with
a great deal of success.
This is what you .call "raising y0ur
own" and the University finds it very
profitable. Bear in mind, when you
daily devour Swain's delicious sau
sage, that it is made with care, and
is all good, for it is made by the Uni
versity itself, and that the basis of
supply is in the edge of the woods
south of the camps.
Sundav nieht at seven-thirtv. n.
Moss will lead the student forum rli.
cussion oh the Sermon on the Mount.
DR. Wm. LYNCH
New Office Over Peoples Bank
CHAPEL HILL, N. C.