i
PAGI TWO
THE TAR
The Tar Heel, published Tuesday and Friday during the first Sum
mer Session and printed by The News Inc., Hillsboro, N. C, is the of
ficial publication of the Summer School of the University of North
Carolina where it is published by the students.
STAFF Al Shortt, Pete Adams, Tom Parramore, Rolf e Neill.
The Eye Of The Horse
Roger Will Coe
("The horse sees imperfectly, magnifying some things, minimiz
ing others , . . "Hipporotis; circa 500 B. C.)
TILE HORSE was sprawled in
the lee of the Law Building
reading something. I looked
around his withers and saw it
was A handsome booklet on Leon
ardo, da Vinci, distributed dur
ing the Planetarium exhibition of
models of the great man's inven
. tlo'n's. and coritrivings and disco
veries. "Yeah, ol' Leonardo was quite
a character," The Horse agreed.
"But he would have got his whis
kers combed for fair by Senator
Uv A.- McCarthy if old U. A.
could have got his hooks on him!
Leonardo not only knew how to
Jive he knew when to die."
V. A. McCarthy? He meant
Josephy L., didn't he?
Un-American Activities fits
his' method of operation much
better," The Horse snorted. "If
what he is up to ain't un-American,,
then Thomas Jefferson
should be called a Red."
Well Jefferson did have red
hair. ,
"Hey!" The Horse blinked.
"Brother, wait until Holy Joe
hears about that. But it is cer-
tain he would have taken a work ".
out oh Da Vinci, because Holy I
Joe McCarthy wouldn't have un
derstood the things he was doing,
aqd' Holy Joe's gospel is to de
stroy anything he doesn't under
stand." Wasn't that a lot of space to
coyer, even for Joe?
"How wide is it between the
horizons." The Horse-laughed.
"How high is up?"
. Hadn't The Horse left out,
'How low is down?'
"Naw," The Horse chittered
inelegantly, "Holy Joe would
have that answer. You know, a
lot of people are saying Holy Joe
is; okay because he does snout
out s occassional pinko now and
again."
Didn't The Horse agree?
I
i.
Listen, I know a very fine
German
Shepherd dog," The
Horse said sadly, "who will un
zip any crooks who comes near
where he lives. Unfortunately,
he also tries to unzip all the good
people into the bargain. But if
you want to look at it in the Let's
-Be-Friendly-To- McCarthy-Club
way, he isn't missing any thing.
And who knows, maybe Holy Joe
will chop up an occassional Com
mie along with the decent people
he is hounding from behind his
Congressional Immunity."
, Holy Joe - I meant, - Senator
McCarthy - had had a good war
record, hadn't he?
"So did Benedict Arnold, up to
a point," The Horse growled.
"This guy is a sort of Irish Hitler.
HEEL
TUESDAY JUNE 30, 1953
And speaking of the Irish, rumor
has it that The Clan McCarthy,
of the Ould Sod, is in a dither
over changing their name. A lot
of them are said to be dropping
the "Mc' to be plain Carthy.
Others, who are used to that
Irish Cow-catcher on the front
of their names and would feel
like Nudists without it, are chan
ging theirs to O'Carthy, Fitz-
Carthy, and even Kilearthy. Wur-ra-wurra
an' whisht, now it's a
grim sadness that has come over
the Emerald Isle! Ochone! From
Mother Machree to Step-Father
McCarthy in one uneasy leap!
The Battle of the Bovne was
child's play b' comparison, that
it was, an' may Saint Patrick
open up a shnake farm if Oi'm
loying."
I thought we'd better get less
Irish because I saw an English
sparrow on a tree-branch, and
didn't the Irish see Red when
something English loomed nigh,
Joe wouldn't like that.
"Cut it out," The Horse snap
ped. "You are supposed to play
it straight while I make the re-
Hill m drSl.ll
e177f..,cs sure
TO RETURN YOUR
IXPOSED ROUS TO
US FOR DEVELOPING
AND PRINTING
FOISTERS CAMERA STORE
Try Counting
Sheepskins
This is the end. Tonight at eight,
Across this flawless sward,
"With 'stately acedemic gait,
In gown and mortarboard,
"My child will decorously go
(While fathers weep like mot
hers) A Bachelor of Arts and so
Will seven thousand others.
'For this is the modern Com
mencement, With graduates measures in
acres:
The Aarons, who lead them,
The Atkinsons (speed them!),
And maybe, by midnight, the
Bakers.
We crawl through the Collins
the Kingsley . .
And round about dawn through
the "P"s
The Smathers . . the Smithers .
And what was that Withers?
What dreadfully slow degrees
marks. But I got it figured out
how he got re-elected. I mean
even with Ike shaking hands
with him in that smiling and
unfriendly way."
How was that.,
"Well, I see how it is that
Wisconsin claims to be the big
best producer of cheese in the
United States," The Horse sna'rk
ed, "but as I see it, they are being
too modest, they ought to point
to Holy Joe with pride ugh!, and
claim the biggest cheese produc
tion in the universe." .
Yep, sometimes The Horse sees
real pert .....
"I
M 'in '"WiHiiiiiin! A
Somebody plays. Somebody sings.
Somebody snaps a prize up.
Somebody does some other things
But nobody props my eyes up.
Somebody gets an L . L. D.,
And out in the middle distance
Some big shot speaks. Ah, who
was he
The lion of least resistance?
Dear heaven, the wholesale Com
mencement, ' The, two-ton economy size,
On a bench behind rows
'Of befeathered chapeaus
"your7 favorite fishing
rizl, vb'ro set with what you
nood ... everything from a
tfhlto .dinner jacket to a T shirt.
j ijiv-- nil ""
THE NEW
BARGAINS
Come in and take a look
at these money - savers
MI.RO by Clement Greenberg
with a memoir ny Ernest Hem
ingway. A significant addition to
the interpretive literature of
Miro with 6 color plates and
over 100 monochrome illustra
tions. Was $7.50 Our Special $3.00
Love is a Four Letter Word by
April Taylor. Another book on
the war of the sexes that will
furnish food for thought and am
munition for argument. Was
$2.50 Now $1.00
The Far Side of Paradise by F.
Scott Fitzgerald. The biography
that was responisble for the Fit
zgerald revival.
Was $4.00 Our Price $1.79
There's always a
THE INTIMATE BOOKSHOP
205 E. Franklin St.
With binoculars pressed to your
eyes!
Whatever became of my off
spring? (I dozed, I admit, around
Hicks)
But it's standard behavior
Who's conscious by Xavier?
Only the zz-zz-
ZZ-
Zwicks.
Kay Hoskins, The
New Yorker
, Gomcy vcccsticii"
Ing? Whether
You're going to
ci fcssicy plssso or
SUMMER
ARE HERE
The Threshold of the Abnormal
by Werner Wolff A compre
hensive survey of ail known
phases of abnormal conditions
clearly presented for the inex
perenced readers. Formerly $6.50
Now $2.89
Till Death Do Us Part by Wil
liam Steig. Humor at its best by
the author of the Lone'y Ones
Originally $2.00 Our Special $1.25
The House at Hyde Park by Clara
and Hardy Steeholm. An insight
into the daily boyhood life of
FDR and of his family back
ground. $3.75 Reduced to $1.00
A Quest For Gandhi by Reginald
Reynolds. An anecdotal biogra
phy based upon personal acquain
tance. 3.75 a real bargain at $1.00
tempting bargain in
Open Evenings