WEDNESDAY, MAY 8, 1946
PAGE TWO
THE DAILY TAB HEEL
CAMPUS PROFESSOR POPULARITY POLL
GRADE YOUR INSTRUCTOR FROM 'A' TO T
BALLOTS WILL BE COLLECTED AT YMCA
The following is a list of faculty members, above the rank of
instructor, who are active in undergraduate instruction. You
are requested to tear this ballot out, and grade the professors
with whom you are acquainted. You may grade from A to F, and
you are asked to grade only those with whose teaching you are
acquainted.
When you have completed your grading, drop the ballot in a
special box which will be set up in the YMCA from 9 a. m. to 5
p. m. today. In order to conduct an accurate poll, the balloting
will be carefully supervised by members of the DTH staff and
you must have your name checked by the poll keeper on a student
directory before you may cast your ballot.
Results will be announced in the DTH and special copies will
be sent to the University administration and the Board of
Trustees. -
.....Joseph E. Adams, Botany
.Raymond W. Adams, English
John V. Allcott, Art
James C. Andrews, Chemistry
Charles P. Anson, Economics
..English Bagby, Psychology
.....James 0. Bailey, English
......Abram Bayroff, Psychology
Gladys Beard, Phys. Ed.
.....Charles Beers, Zoology
Gordon Blackwell, Sociology
Ralph Boggs, Spanish
Richmond Bond, English
.....John Booker, English
.....Ralph Bost, Chemistry
Alfred Braver, Mathematics
.....Edward Brecht, Pharmacy
Lee Brooks, Sociology
.....Edward Browne, Mathematics
.....Daniel Buchanan, Economics
.....Henry Burlage, Pharmacy
......Robt. Burrows, Dramatic Art
.....Wm. Caldwell, Ancient History
......Edward Cameron, Math.
..Frank Cameron, Chemistry
Dudley Carroll, Economics
.....Fredric Coenen, German
....Oscar Coffin, Journalism
... George Coff man, English
...Robt. Coker, Zoology
.Wm. Coker, Botany
. Oliver Cornwell, Phys. Ed.
...Donald Costello, Zoology
.....John Couch, Botany
...Dudley Cowden, Economics
.....Hardin Craig, English
.....Harry Crane, Psychology
......Horace Crockford, Chemistry
Wm. Daniel, Psychology
.....John Dashiell, Psychology.
.....Wm. Dey, Romance Languages
James Dobbins, Chemistry
, John Dykstra, Business Ad.
Floyd Edmister, Chemistry
Fred Ellis, Pharmacology
Stephen Emery, Philosophy
Samuel Emory, Geology
.Wm. Engels, Zoology
Alfred Engstrom, French
Preston Epps, Greek
Frank Erickson, Geology
E. E. Ericson, English
Robt. Fetzer, Phys. Ed.
......Keener Frazer, Pol. Science
Werner Friederich, German
Karl Fussier, Physics
Lofton Garner, Mathematics
......Mitchell Garrett, Eur. Hist. .
Hugo Giduz, Education
James Godfrey, History
....Fletcher Green, History
Ernest Groves, Sociology
James Harland, Archaeology
Earl Hartsell, English
Glen Haydon, Music
Milton Heath, Economics
Clarence Heer, Economics
Archibald Henderson, Math.
Harriet Herring, Sociology
Arthur Hudson, English
Thomas Hickerson, Math.
Michael Hill, Math.
Allan Hobbs, Math.
Richard Hobbs, Business Law
Samuel Hobbs, Social Econ.
Urban Holmes, Romance Phil.
George Horner, English
Almonte Howell, English
John Huddle,' Geology
.....Ervin Hexner, Pol. Science
Robt. Hume, Dram. Arts
... Howard Huse, Rom. Lang.
.....Marion Jacobs, Chemistry
Wm. Jenkins, Pol. Science
Richard Jente, German
Cecil Johnson, History
Claiborne Jones, Zoology
Arthur Jordan, Psychology
Louis Kattsoff, Philosophy
Arnold King, Education
Irwin Kitchin, Zoology
......Edgar Knight, Education
Samuel Knight, Chemistry
......Frank Kottke, Economics
Helmut Kuhn, Philosophy
.....George Lane, German
John Lasley, Mathematics
.t...:Robt. Lawson, Phys. Ed.
Joseph Lear, Insurance
Sturgis Leavitt, Spanish
Hugh Lefler, History
Joe Linker, Mathematics
Robt. Linker, French
John Lyons, French
Gerald MacCarthy, Geology
Roland McClamroch, English
Loren MacKinney, History
......Ernest Mackie, Mathematics
.....Edwin Markham, Chemistry
Robt. Mehr, Economcis
.....Harold Meyer, Sociology
Roy Morrison, Education
Clyde Mullis, Phys. Ed.
Earl Newcomer, Botany
.Wm. Newman, Music
......Albert Newsome, History
......Howard Odum, Sociology
.Wm. Olsen, English
Gregory Paine, English
Roy Parker, Journalism
Erie Peacock, Accounting
......Carl Pegg, History
Guy Phillips, Education
.Wm. Pierson, History
George Poland, Spanish
Earl Pomeroy, History
.Wm. Prouty, Geology
......Oscar Rice, Chemistry
Wm. Rice, Geology
Chas. Robson, Pol. Science
Arthur Roe, Chemistry
Ira Rose, Pharmacy
Nathan Rosen, Physics
Wm. Rosenstengel, Education
Alfred Russell, Chemistry
Phillips Russell, Journalism
Harry Russell, English
Josiah Russell, History
Will Ryan, Education
Jan Schinhan, Music
Herman Schnell, Phys. Ed.
Samuel Selaen, Dramatic Art
Robt. Sharpe, English
......Paul Shearin, Physics
George Shepard, Phys. Ed.
Robt. Sherrill, Accounting
Floyd Siewert, Phys. Ed.
Earl Slocum, Music
Clemens Sommer, Art
... ..Walter Spearman, Journalism
Corydon Spruill, Economics
Herman Staab, Rom. Lang.
Sterling Stoudemire, Spanish
Joseph Straley, Physics
Otto Stuhlman, Physics
George Taylor, English
Henry Totten, Botany
Ralph Trimble, Mathematics
Berthold Ullman, Class. Lang.
Rupert Vance, Sociology
Paul Wager, Pol. Science
James Waller, Business Law
Wm.. Wells, English
Robt. Wherry, Psychology
Wm. White, Geology
Maurice Whittinghill, Zoology
Wm. Wiley, French
Edith Williams, Sociology
Rex Winslow, Economics
..... Arthur Winsor, Mathematics
Harry Wolf, Economics
Edwarfd Woodhouse, Pol. Sci.
John Woosley, Economics
Paul Young, Music
Short, Short Story
''Scoop'' Hodgson Scores On
Honest Reet Smelly Scandal
By Tookie Hodgson
The Tar Heel office was in a
paroxysm of excitement, as I
bounced in on my new coil-spring
pogo stick. People were running
hither and yon carrying dispat
ches, the ticker tape was beat
ing it out like a hopped-up Kru
pa, and William Randolph Rob
ert,' the boy editor, was frantic
ally sucking on one lollipop aft
er another. Indeed, the place
seemed to be inhabited by those
curious phenomena of nature
jitterbugs.
Knowing how much the chief
valued my incomparable news re
porting, I hurried into his sanc
tum to await his coming. In a
short while, he burst in the door,
seeking a fresh supply of bub
ble gum. Upon espying me, he
shouted, "Ah, Hodgson ! I'm glad
you've come. All hell has broken
out in campus political circles.
Honest Reet Smelly, the cam
pus savior, stands accused of
violating the honor code. "Buck"
Beef, the new potentate of the
Student Party is most bitter
about the matter, while Sey
mour Sinkhole XIII of the UP
is most bitter about "Buck" Beef
being bitter. It looks like a story
to me ; what do you think about
it?"
"It sounds like the news equal
of the Johnstown Flood or the
Errol Flynn Paternity Case to
me!", I said, bouncing out of the
door, ,and veering off in the di
rection of "Buck" Beef's abode.
When I arrived at Mr. Beef's
quarters, I found him stabbing
a straw dummy which bore a
close resemblance to Honest Reet
Smelly. "Take that!" He cried.
"You traitor, scum, and general
low life! This will teach you to
betray, your friends ! Sic Semper
Tyrannis!"
After about an hour of this
diverting exercise, Mr. Beef
turned around and spoke to me.
"Yes, my friend, we were
truly robbed !" he began, "We
promised Honest Reet a brand
new Ford automobile, a profes
sorship of Hungarian Culture, a
vacation at Myrtle Beach, and
the peanut concession at the
Carolina baseball games, if he
would run on our ticket. And
look what happened; just be
cause Seymour Sinkhole XIII,
an Inka Dinka Doo frat brother
of mine, gave him a doxen white
shirts, a diesel railroad engine,
and President Graham's job, he's
gonna run on the University
Party ticket. Son, there aint no
justice!"
"But, Mr. Beef," I interposed,
IheD
The official newspaper of the Publications Union of the University or North Carolina at
Chapel Hill, where it ia printed daily, except Monday, examinations and vacation periods.
Entered as second class matter at the post office at Chapel Hill, N. C, under the act of
March 8. 1879. Subscription price is $5.00 for the college year.
Complete Leased Wire
ROBERT MORRISON
WESTY FENHAGEN
BILL HIGHT
CARROLL POPLIN and BILL WOESTENDIEK ...
BILL SELIG
CLIFFORD HEMINGWAY
ASSISTANT EDITORS : Fred Jacobson, Ray Conner. .
EDITORIAL STAFF: Dick Koral. Dick Stern, Dorothy Marshall. Gloria Gautier, Connne
Ossinsky.
NIGHT EDITORS: Jack Lackey, Roland Giduz, Ray Conner.
REPORTERS : Mary Hill Gaston, Gene Aenchbacher, Jo Push, Darley Lochner, Roland Gidua.
Joan Blase, Fafi Halsey, Elaine Patton, Posey Emerson, John Giles, Bill Rutledge, L.U
Barnes, Trudy Walton, Janet Johnson, Bill Jabine. i
NIGHT SPORTS EDITORS: Bob Goldwater. Howard Merry.
SPORTS REPORTERS: Jim Pharr, Billy Carmichael, Jim Kluttz.
ADVERTISING MANAGER: Winky Andrews. .
BUSINESS STAFF : Suzanne Barclay, Natalie Seliff. Strowd Ward. Barbara Tborson. Claude
Ramsay, Brantley McCoy, Billy Finch.
ADVERTISING STAFF: Bettie Cheatham. Lois Clark. Gene Heafner, Adelaide McLarty.
Eddie Owens. Jane Peete. Nancy Waugh. Virginia Wilson, Mary Jo Cain. Ann Cobb,
B31 Hales, Bobbye Jean Hardy, Barbara Lynn. Fay Maples, Ruth Tompkins.
FOR THIS
ROLAND GIDUZ
RAY CONNER
BOB GOLDWATER
Perhaps Honest Reet Smelly
had a legitimite excuse to run
for the U.Ps"
"Now get this, boy," ejaculat
ed Buck Beef, "Even if his Yan
kee folks up in Chitterling
Switch, Maine, did ask him to
run on the UP ticket because
J OLauuo AU1 uuiuu aim O
stands for "South", there aint
no excuse for prevaricating, like
he done to us. Dont you agree?
"Well, Mr. Beef, you've cer
tainly got a point there," I ad
mitted as he passed his dagger
nearer my throat.
At this moment there was ter
rific noise out in the hall, and
in burst Honest Reet Smelly, un
kempt and his halo awry.
"Mr. Hodgson," said Honest
Reet, "I hope that you havent
let Buck Beef convince you that
these maledictions on my charac
ter are true. This excited gos
sip that I am power mad is com
pletely erroneous. I can't help
it if my astrology book that I am
foreordained to be another Na
poleon Bonaparte." Whereupon
he impressed the fact on me with
a meat cleaver.
"Mr. Smelly," I answered as
I sewed together my split skull,
"I have in the most literal sense
of the word, an open mind
about such matters."
"Another thing," continued
Honest Reet, "I want it known
that I am running on the UP
ticket out of the goodness of my
heart. After all, havent I hit the
SP and the UCP enough during
the past few years. I want to
gouge something out of the UP
now, and let the SP treasury re
fill itself. It's noble deeds like I
done that got me the soubriquet
of HONEST Reet Smelly."
"Well Mr. Smelly," I answer
ed, retrieving my watch which
had somehow become lodged .in
the Great One's coat pocket,
"What you did seems undoubted
ly praiseworthy, however, a few
of the SP brethern, such as Mr.
Buck Beef, violently disagree.
What have you got to say to these
disgruntled citizens?"
"Only this, friend Hodgson,"
he replied in tremulously impres
sive tones, "Anybody who thinks
that us politicos ain't out for
the moolah is radicals, and C.I.
0. men."
"Amen," I echoed, hopping out
the door on my steel coil springs
pogo stick.
From Indiana University
comes the following suggestion
on how to get rid of the abound
ing canines on campus :
Cut down all the trees !
Service ef United Press
Editor
Managing" Editor
Associate Editor
Co-Sports Editors
Business Manager
Circulation Manager
ISSUE:
....Night Editor
Assistant Editor
.. ...-.....rlNight Sports Editor
ml
Racing Form
Beauties Cop Derby Prizes
With Curves, Smeared Faces
A muddy track on May 4 by
no means daunted the entrants
in the great event of the Chapel
Hill sports year, the Sigma Chi
Derby. Teams from the five so
rorities and C.I.C.A. represent
ed some of the best derby, ma
terial ever to turn out for the
races.
In the first race each of the
competing groups entered a
team of four. It was a very sim
ple relay, in which each com
petitor carried one raw. egg in
one spoon over one obstacle
course, and then handed said
egg in said spoon to the next
girl on her team, who had the
same darn thing to do over
again. After this race the Sigma
Chi's announced the winners,
mopped the floor thoroughly,
and resolved to use hard-boil
ed aggs next year.
Next up came the three-leg
ged race. Six teams started;
three teams finished. The infir
mary bill went up. Broken ribs,
bruised knees, and skinned el
bows caused a number of coeds
to begin to wonder if the Sigs
were attempting mass murder
the hard way.
A pie-eating contest .and a
coke race provided refreshment
for the contestants who entered
these races but such a way to
eat and drink refreshments ! Six
contestants, kneeling, hands tied,
got delicious Toddle House choc
olate pies all over their faces, in
their hair, and, incidentally,
into their tummies. Then six
more contestants were fed Coca
colas in bottles, with nipples at
tached. The idea in both these
Dementia Domain
Edited by Ray Conner
What supports a strapless eve
ning dress? "Moral support and
that's all."
-
Joe: "My wife is scared to
death someone will steal her
clothes'
Jim: "Why don't you insure
them?"
Joe: "Oh, she's got a better
idea. She has some guy stay in
the closet and watch them. I
found him there last night."
In a courtroom it takes 12 men
to find out if a person is inno
cent. ... On a country road in
the moonlight, it only takes one.
Pile Driver : A man who
drives a truck while cleaning out
stables.
If s.
"V- rX t;-"
At long last men are having something to say about the
fashions for which they pay the bills. Pictured above is a
jury of notables at the Stork Club, sitting in judgment as a
male jury to test fashions. Left to right are Helmut Dantine,
movie star; Danny Kaye, star of stage, screen, and radio;
Norman Corwin, radio writer; H. Allen Smith, humorist; and
Fritz Varady, illustrator.
events, believe it or not, was
not to get the most pie or coke
on one's shirt or face, but to
see who could finish her pie or
coke first.
The limbs that escaped disas
ter in the three-legged race were
further endangered in a sack
race. Twelve girls, their feet in
gunny sacks, hopping around
like Mexican jumping beans,
were a' hilarious sight to the
spectators. The blackened knees"
weren't quite so hilarious.
The Miss Venus contest intro
duced a less dangerous (in one
way, at least) theme to the Der
by. Professor Miranda of the
Spanish department sat as
judge, his eyes bulging, while
twelve beauties in bathing suits
paraded before him. Very con
scientious about his judging
job, Miranda had the girls pa
rade again and again before he
finally gave out with his decision.
Incidentally, it was pretty
cold in the tin can which made
some of us well-clothed specta
tors glad we aren't Venus ma
terial. The final event, a surprise
race, required soda-cracker-eating,
water-drinking, whistling,
and carrying-your-partner-on-your-back
abilities. The Tri
Delts seemed to possess these
qualifications in greater quan
tity than anyone else, for, al
ready in the lead after the Miss
Venus contest, they won this
race too, and received the Sigma
Chi cup for the next year.
Some people say the games
in the tin can where more excit
ing than that other derby going
on the same afternoon. Well, at
least you wouldn't see horses
doing the things those coeds did
horses have too much sense.
Fashions
By Ramona Cottin
As vacation time ap
proaches the packable ward
robe becomes in increasing
demand. Shown above is a
navy wool wraparound
skirt, black wool jersey
blouse, wool jacket, all eas
ily packable.
u
N.'ijL f If:
II
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