SATURDAY, OCTOBER 8, 1949
PAGE FOUR
THE DAILY TAR HEEL
5T() t Daitij STat Keel
The official newspaper of the Publication Board of the University fV North
Carolina. Chapel Hill, where It is issued daily during the regular sessions of
the University by the Colonial Press. Inc., except Mondays, examination and
vacation periods, and the summer terms. Entered as second-class matter at
the post office of Chapel Hill. N. C. under the act of March 3. 1879. Sub
scription price: $8.00 per year, $3.00 per quarter. Member of The Associated
Press. The Associated Press and AP features are exclusively entitled to the
use for republication of all news and features published herein.
Editor
Business Manager
Managing Editor .
Sparta Editor
Editorial Staff: Charlie Gibson. Tom Wharton, Wink LocWair. Bill Kellam.
Don Shropshire, Jimmy Rutherford, John Stump. Vestal Taylor.
Ntws Staff: Roy Parker. Jr., Zane Robbins. Bill Johnson, Sam McKeel. Wuff
Newell, Don Maynard. RoUe Neill, Caroline Bruner, Bob Hennessee, Graham
Jones, Glenn Harden.
Sports Staff Frank Allston. Jr.. Ken Barton. Lew Chapman. Joe B. Cherry.
Larry Fox. Vic Goldberg. Art Greenbaum, Billy Peacock. John Poindexter,
Biff Roberts. John Sherill, Bebe Smith, Andy Taylor. Ronald Tilley, Buddy
Vaden.
Business Staff: Oliver Watkins, June Crockett. Neal Cadieu. Ed Williams.
They Don't Mix
During the fall season of the year the leaves on the trees
begin to lose their green tint in preparation for their voyage
to wherever good leaves go after their span of life is o'er.
The days grow shorter and the temperature begins to slide
down the scale. Fall is also the season of football, fur coats,
gay colors and red noses.
Not all of these pink proboscises are caused by the decline
in the temperature or the nip in the air. A lot of them are a
direct result of a nip of something somewhat stronger; about
90 proof stronger to be more exact. It seems to be what they
in the Army call SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) to
carry a pint or more to a football game. Some people carry
their "tea" in thermos jugs, ready mixed, while others are
content to conceal their bottles in an already cumbersome
overcoat or raincoat. Others use other methods in transport
ing their seemingly necessary intoxicants but the fact re
mains that many of the spectators at a football game arrive
with some form of strong drink. :-
With already over-taxed traffic conditions and complete
lack of highway courtesy during pre and post-game traffic
among the thousands of motorists who each week leave a
comfortable living room radio to see their football first hand,
the drunken driver makes a deplorable situation even worse.
One drunken driver can hold up thousands of cars by one
wrong movement at the wheel. The driver who has had
"one too many" may kill himself, his passengers, or YOU.
During the month of August the State Highway Patrol
made 5,639 arrests, 442 of which were for drunken driving.
This appalling record is due to become even worse during
the football months of September, October, November and
part of December.
So, if you are planning on driving to the game this week
end, remember that whiskey and gasoline don't mix. t.
Hawk Johnson
U .
Tarnation
The 64 - Page Question
By Don
It rained Friday morning, but
a silver lining was within view
for campus publications history
due to the appearance of Tom
Kerr's long-heralded answer to
the 64-page question: the vest
pocket Tarnation.
Seven features, lwo pinups,
a photo feature and cartoons
by Tom Warton. cover artist
Jack Taylor, Chuck Hauser
and "Gale" are stapled to
gether as proof, that Kerr
wasn't pulling the wool over
students' eyes in the election
campaign last spring when he
promised something new in
campus publications. With
this issue, the University be
comes the only institution in
the nation to have a bantam
size official mag.
Of course, "Over the Hill,"
formerly the "Village Spectator "
could have stayed on the other
side of the hill and not been
missed too much. Written by a
character named Zeb, it makes
one wonder if this is not just
another Tarnation. We were
glad we didn't stop there, how
ever, for the next item in the
table of contents proved to be a
charming l'il G. C. girl, Miss
Gar Hall, pinned up on the sands
of some beach. Found further
along was the wind and rain
shot of Miss Anne Webb, Spen
cer coed, looking typically
Chapel Hill.
The mag this issue was dedi
cated "to give the freshmen a
laugh at themselves," a chance
to look back and remember
when, for "those who have gone
beyond." Bev Lawler starts the
humor ball rolling with his'
tragedy entitled "Clear Water
and Red Tape," the story of Jas
per Twirlhead, freshman, UNC.
Jasper's story wasnt overly
exaggerated, and was written
with a twist that the reader nod
his head in agreement and
squirm with the humor of the
ridiculous registration situations
students sometimes get them
selves into.
Perhaps the five most con
troversial pages in the mag are
written in a profile of perhaps
the most controversial person on
campus. Wink Locklair, Chuck
Hauser, Tom Kerr and "five-
DICK JENRETTE
..C. B. MENDENHALL
CHUCK HAUSER
..BOXY CARMICHAEL III
Review-
Maynard
percenter" Billy Carmichael, 3,
get together on "Lead, Kindly
Light," the story of Al Lowen
stein, his campus life. The quar
tet reputedly writes from both
sides. We found one side, but
had to search for the other. We
like Al, and thus enjoyed read
ing his story, but there are
those who will smile and mur
mur, "Uh-huh." ,
Charles McCorkle, with his
wealth of library experience,
relates a tale that well might
have happened among all
those thousands of books. "On
Your Mark." we hope, doesn't
frighten frosh away from the
quiet study rooms and pic
turesque rest rooms of the
ilbrary. 1
Jim Mills, Tarnation staff:
photographer, also of the Daily '
Tar Heel, does his usual ex
cellent job on a photo . feature
of the forbidden rooms of the .
Morehead Planetarium, called
"Those Other Rooms" by Tarna
tion. The cutline below the top
picture on page 35 expresses the
wish that the picture was done
in color, which leads us to point
to the future and say, "it
shouldn't be long now." ""
"Case Dismissed," by a Sharpe
named Dave, .reminds us and '
no doubt many, of the numerous"
times we have had the Tap pin
ned on us by the infallible fe
male. Only trouble is, Sharpp
wrote only one. poem in thC
issue. Wha' hoppen??
Which has taken us through
40 pages and leaves us with two
more stories. "Pulse Normal,'
a frosh's first infirmary adven
ture by J. P. Brady, seems to
be just a bit overdone, but it
does prove J. P. has a vivid
imagination.
Unfortunately the final eight
pages of humor are anonymous.
Whoever pecked out "Reprof
Revolution" deserves the blue
ribbon of this issue for his
prophetic excerpts from the
journal of an unknown Univer
sity professor. The saga of how
robot professors were installed
to teach in place of our beloved.,
human tutors grips you from the
opening line and forces you to
read to the last line: "Long live
academic freedom!"
Pitching Horseshoes
Billy Rose
A year ago, I wrote a book
called "Wine, Women and
Words," and a few months be
fore publication one of the edi
tors of Reader's Digest phoned
and said, "We've read the gal
leys and would like to run a
condensation in several of our
foreign editions."
"That's fine," I said, and then,
remembering my grab-bag
grammar and tipsy tavernacular,
I got a little panicky. Who in
Helsinki would know that
"mackerel snatcher" meant a
seal, and "chesty cake-walker"
a pigeon?
"Who's going to translate for
the translators?" I asked.
The editor vtold me not to
brood.
Last week the mail tr an drop
ped off the September issue of
Selection du Readers Digest and
you could have knocked me over
with an escargot when I saw
that "Champagne, Danseuses et
Stylographe" had been translat
ed by Mr. Montmartre himself
Maurice Chevalier. What in
the name of Christian Dior, I
asked myself, . had persuaded
this million-franc-a-week enter
tainer to turn my clip-clop Eng .
lish into galloping , Gallio? !
. Well, the best . way to get a
question answered ; is to ask it,
and so last Monday, on my way
in from Mt." Kisco, I stopped off
at Pleasantville and looked up
the editor who had phoned me.
"For a while," he said, "our
translators in Paris were stump
ed by your Broadwayese. Then
Pierre Denoyer, our editor there,
went to see Maurice Chevalier,
figuring he knew his Times
Square as perhaps no other
Frenchman. Maurice said he
thought it would be great fun,
and when he turned in his trans
lation a few weeks later a 'cinch
bet' had become 'candy,' 'iron
stomached citizens who surviv
ed Prohibition' had been chang
ed to 'the hard-cooked one,'
and since 'razzle-dazzle and
razzmatazz' was untranslatable
into French, he had made it
'plaisanier sur des plaisanteries
plaisantes.' which is untransla
able into English."
. s 'Inl how many countries do -you
sell your magazine?"' I ask
ed. "We print nineteen editions
in eleven languages and sell
about seven million copies each
month in fifty-six. foreign coun
tries." "There must be a lot of amus
ing differences in readers' tastes
around the world," I said.
"By and large," the editor
told me, "we find that the pull
ing power of an article is in
direct ratio to how closely it
affects the reader. Our polls in
dicate that folks in all countries
want to know the same basic
things how to keep well, how
to succeed and how to be hap
pier." ' ; "
"All the same," I said, "a dis
cussion of strictly American
problems can't have much ap
peal to a man five thousand
miles ; away." -,.'.'
"Foreign readers are interest
red in almost . anything that Jias
t6 do . with ;lifethei United
States," ' said v the: editor,
course, there 'are exceptions
instance, . we seldom use pieces
in Scandinavia7aboit " old age;
pensions, " health insurance and
employer - employee relations.
The Danes, Swedes and Nor
wegians consider them ; old hat
; because the United States is so
far behind . their , own progress
in these fields. On the other
hand," these pieces are eliminat
ed in our South American edit
ions for exactly the opposite
reason.' . . " .
On my way into New York I
got to thinking of the' impact of
this pocket-size periodical on the
thinking of the world. As I get
it, its square circulation here
and abroad is better than 16,000
000 copies a month and judging
by my recent trip around the
'world, it probably comes closer
' to being the Voice of America
than .the Voice itself. For one
thing, ' people on this oversized
eight-ball have moie eyes than
radios and, for another, a privately-published
magazine escap
es the 'suspicion which is at--
tached to anything official.
My house in Mt. Kisco is only
five miles from the Digest's edi
torial offices, and my wife says
. she doesn't like this one little
bit. Eleanor figures it this way:
If the Russians ever decide to
atom bomb us they're certain to
drop ah especially large one on
the plant in Pleasantville,
A WAS SO MUCH ECONOMYi'
One of the choicest statements
at the.YDC meet Monday night
was uttered by Don Shropshire
while he was boosting the can
didacy of John Sanders for
membership on , the executive
committee.
"John was acting president of ,.,
the student body this summer," .
Don stated, "which is probably,
the best thing" the Mackie ach
ministration has done."
Speaking of Mackie, a "Pre
servation of Joseph" drive - is
being planned to save Mackie's'
long Jalopy, Joseph from the
junk pile. Joseph, it seems, is
tempermental and stops in thle.
most awkward places.
- ill
Wandering into the SP meet
fi
ing this week and really saW a
show. It had all the signs of an
old-fashioned political meet,
except there was almost hysteri
cal laughter throughout. ' Chair
man Fred Thompson summed
the meeting up perfectly with
his comment, "Let's keep this"
thing on an intellectual basis."
Ya suh, bossman!
John Van Hecke and Gran
Childress, local citizens , who
graduated from Carolina last route to her dormitory, .and in
year, are still on the scene as quired if she didn't "want to
V.. Some of the guys I was in the
Army with would - probably
. lynch me for this, but I'm going
to use this column to say a few
.- words in favor of the Navy or
part of it anyway. . ...'X
The Gripe I want to register
is with the way that Louis.
Johnson, the Secretary of De
fense and his. underling. Navy
secretary, Frank Matthews.;
have been muzzling the navy's
side of the Navy-Air Force
fight. Personally, I don't have ,
any axe to grind; in fact,. I
haven't even formed any defi
nite opinion one way or the
other on the whole B-36 versus
carriers question.
- But I don't think the country court martial out 11 ancthe
or the Congress is being given a K newspapers yesterday seemed to
'fair chance to decide any part of: the Opinion he will get
of . the question when a large 0ne- -These offlcers are. Cltizens
body, of. people who ought to be'! Just like anybody else (even ex
experts aren't being-'- givenv-j&wabbies will probably agree
chance, to say anything except on that) and I think it is a little
confidential letters about a ques- un-American to cashier them
tion on which they have spent sfor ufimg the right to free speech
30 4 or 40 years supposedly col-.' . . ... , .
. .. . t ,. . v - that all civilians have. But more
lecting information. '--.....
. ' , . than that, it is downright
Now I don't have any great dangerDUS to let any penny-ante
love ior tne Drass, dui it jooks
to me like the admirals came out
of their recent lab period in the
Pacific with a passing mark, at
least. And while they were doing
it, as far as I know, Boss John-
son was holding forth in hillbilly
courtrooms in West Virginia. ,
Since Johnson cancelled the
Navy's project for - a - flush-top
Handy With the Scissors
This 'n That
Statement At YDG
By Bill Buchan
local business men. They're
really settling down, now both
are planning to join the Jaycees.
The salute of the week and
the tip of the hat goes to ener
getic Charlie Gibson who has
arranged a terrific program of
entertainment as chairman of
the Student Entertainment Com
mittee. The first -show unfolds
next - Thursday when Burl Ives
will be presented in Memorial
Hall. -
One lone coed, accompanied
by another young lady who was
guzzling java, was drinking beer
in Maxie's Wednesday night. I
w repeat, time marches on. First
r. thing one . knows, they'll, all be
going out alone and then where
will the stronger half of the
species be?
You've probably heard him
already at one time or another,
but if you haven't seen Dr. Gib
son Jackson, esq. preside at the
piano, wander down to the Rath-
& skeller or the Mercury Club one
night. He's really terrific.
A young gentleman who was
- wearing a red tie several nights
ago had better watch his step.
Seems he approached a coed, en-
Pitching Overshoes-
For The Navy
By Tom Wharton
carrier and given the go-ahead '
to the B-36 program, an - ex
carrier captain and no less a big
wig, than Admiral Halsey have
come out in criticism of his ideas
and about his order that naval
officers refrain from opening
their yaps in public about the
whole business. Now, just this
week, they have been joined by
Admirals Bogan, Radford, and
'; Denf eld (who, together, repre
sent about of the Navy's cur
rent top echelon) in criticism of
. the secretary's action.
. v Captain Crommelin, the car
rier captain who started the
-latest part of the argument, has
r said that he expects to get a
politician like Louis Johnson
OVer-rule all the professionals
when top-level decisions are
being made at least when he
can do it without permitting
these- professionals to get to
Congress or anyone else with
their gripe. (Ed. note: the more
expressive word used here had
stop and talk and make a little
love." The girl kept her wits
about her and out-talked the
guy. Now, she thinks she has a
lead as to his identity. Such
things, like common stealing,
just don't go here.
If you're reading this you
probably won't be in Columbia
so make sure you're sitting by
the radio this afternoon when
we BEAT SOUTH CAROLINA.
If you're short of radios, drop
in at the University, Rathskellar,
Graham Memorial or around
Hogan's Lake someplace.
You probably haven't seen her
yet, but if you see a terrific
blonde (baby, you've got every
thing) wandering around during
the next football weekend with
a tall guy, she's Pat Jeordan of1
Smithfield, an import from'W. C.
What's more, she's the athletic
type, too. Man, what a woman.
Why don't someone start a
"Take That Last Cigarette
Club". Folks always refuse to
take the last one, then with a
little persuasion, they'll accept.
Which only means a lot - of
wasted time. (Provided, of
course, that the pack doesn't
have one of those "take one, you
chisling $&X ".
to be censored.) .
" Of course, having said some
things : for ihe Navy. I can't
close this column without say
ing something against it.
According to fuzz-faced fu
ture admirals- in the NROTC
here, they are required to sign
loyalty oaths to stay in the
navy program. That sounds all
right to me until I got a chance
to hear some parts of this oath.
The boys are being "asked" to
tell all about any sedition they
have ever been in on. The dic
tionary . defines sedition as
"Excitement ; of discontent
against the government." An
. other thing they are expected to
have no part of is disclosure .of
documents of a "non-public
character."
All of which sounds to me
like a prohibition against (1)
criticising Senator Blowhard or
(2) disclosing anything ihe Navy
thought ought not to be dis
closed. Selective service men
swore to uphold the Constitu
tion but this ' sounds like
reversing the procedure.
Now having gotten the mili
tary and naval situation and
terrain off my chest, I promise
all who have been unfortunate
enough to read this far to come
back to earth and show my
honorable discharge in next
week's column.
WASHINGTON. -The aviation
industry isn't advertising it, but
the United States is about to
lose its superiority in the man- '
ufactiire of commercial airplanes.
For years, American-built
planes have been used by the
French, the Dutch, even the
British. The familiar DC types
"Made in America" have been
used by every commercial air
line in the world, from Burma
to Patagonia. But that day is'
about to pass.
The British are now ahead
of us in commercial airplane
design, while the Swedes are
about even and will surpass
us soon.
Alert Undersecretary of
Commerce C. V. Whitney has
been visiting England to in
vestigate British commercial
air superiority and is report
ing that the British already
have a jet-propelled transport
plane far ahead of anything
even started in the U. S. A.
Reason ior tne slump in com
mercial airplane design is that
the Republican 80th Congress '
objected to Army funds being
used for development of com
mercial planes. Hitherto, U. S.
transport planes have been de
. signed by Air Force funds used
in cooperation with commercial
companies. Now that money is
cut, off, and the big airplane
manufacturers aren't designing
new types.
Note Both private industry
and such G.O.P. leaders as John
Foster Dulles and Guy Gabriel
son have been yelling about
"statism." But when government
money is cut off from the avia
tion industry, it falls behind the
rest of the world, and airplane
manufacturers, most of them
Republicans, want ' back the
"statism" money cut off by the
80th Congress.
Prior to Cardinal Spellman's
flight to the Vatican, it was
authoritatively reported among
the Catholic Hierarchy that
Spellman had lost his onetime
position as favorite of His
Holiness.
Those who have visited at
the Vatican during and since
Cardinal Spellman's dispute
with Mrs. Roosevelt, report
that ihe Pope was not pleased
over Spellman's outburst and
that this was the chief reason
why the Cardinal later called
on Mrs. Roosevelt at Hyde
Park.
At cne time Spellman was
' considered in line to be Papal
Secretary arid perhaps the first
American Pope in history. But
now it's reported inside the
Hierarchy that among the Amer
ican Cardinals, wise old Cardi
nal Stritch of Chicago is more
in favor at the Vatican.
These factors may be one rea
son for Cardinal Spellman's
flight to Rome.
Note When the newly
named American Cardinals
Designate flew to Rome to
receive their red hats, Spell
man was the only one kissed
by the Pope; which caused
ACROSS
L pne or soma
4. Bound to
secrecy
9. Breach
12. Fisb eggs
13. Separate
14. Age
15. Surveying
- instrument
17. Nominated
19. Steeps
20. Scatter
21. Mud volcano
23. Chanced
Prehistoric
stone
implements
32. Write
33. Urge
34. Son of Seth
35. Sins
36. Ruin
38. Island In the -
Mediterranean
39. Rowing
implement
40. Flippers -
41. Charred
44. Makes amends
47. Wing
48. Puff ud
60. Negative ,
27. Mine approach 51. Novel
zs. wild plum 52. Weil-
29. First woman considered
80. Pala ES. Dally
'1
So
21
22
m
23
r7
m
28
31
W
VA
34
33
3f
m
Ut 42 43
44
21.
DREW PEARSON
ON
The WASHINGTON .
" .-.... i
Merry-go-round
Cardinal Glennon of Si. Lou
to remark: "I hear Spellmau
wants to be Papal Secretary.
' Hell have us all in hot water."
When . the mysterious John
Maragon tried to smuggle
French perfume into the U. S.
labeled as champagne for the
White House and later got the
case squelched by the Justice
Department, amiable Clyde Ho
ey, the swallow-tailed Senator
from North Carolina, described
it all as "just the usual settle
ment." Since then, this column has
inquired of the Customs Bureau
regarding other smuggling cases
to see "exactly what the "usual
settlement' is. The Customs Bur
eau has been extremely loath to
talk One week of queries; has
disclosed no information whatso
ever. However, ( ihe ;New .York
Times contains ihe record of
ihe case of one Jack Benny
where ihe value of ihe goods
involved was almost identical
io thai of Maragon's. Mara
gon's perfume was valued at
$2,300. The jewelry which
Benny tried io bring into ihe
U. S. was valued ai $2,131.
Maragon, thanks to his good
friend, General Vaughan, was
permitted to settle his case for
a fine of only $1,500.
Jack Benny, however, had no
General Vaughan inside the
White House. So he paid a
$10,000 fine, received a suspend
ed jail sentence of a year and a
day, and was replaced on pro
bation for one year. Benny had
not smuggled the jewlery him
self. Nor had he disguised it as
a gift to the White House. He
had given it to Albert N. Chap
erau at the latter's suggestion
that he would smuggle it for
him.
In contrast, Maragon paid only
$1,500 which Senator Hoey
calls a "usual" setlement while
the gentleman who saved him
from further punishment, Gen
eral Vaughan, has not resigned
but is still sitting pretty at th
White House.
If the battle . over the B-3(
gets any hotter in actual aeria!
combat than it is on the grounc
in these piping times of peace
then we will see the hottest wai
in history.
For one airplane manufacture!
Glenn Martin has even re
: sorted to putting private detec
tives on the trail of blond; hand
some Stuart Symington, th
Secretary for Air. Symington
devoted to his wife and leadini
an exemplary life, nevertheles:
has had the gumshoe men check
ing on him, specially in St
Louis where he used to live.
Unfortunately for the socierj
column and the Navy the;
haven't come up with anything
Note Glenn Martin, who
has specialized on Navy planes
in the past, has been irked be
cause of lack of orders from
ihe Air Forces.
IPhlElurUiAlB
Solution of Yesterday's Puzzli
DOWN
1. Knack
2. And not
Ji. Young animals
4. Flavor
6. Egyptian
goddesa
e. Kindled
7. Masculine
nickname
8. Signlfiee
9. Jewel
10. Exist
1L Cushion
16. Abode
18. Veneratioa
20. Narrow
openings
21. Cut with
certain tool
22. Proverb
23. Mixture of
metals
24. Stand for
25. Turn Inside
out
28. Thick
28. Spanish title
3L Wax ointmtBtf
35. Sea eagle
37. Large wetfht
38. Apple Juice
40. Festival
41. Forbid
42. Rubber tree
43. Uncooked
44. Bater for
mixing
mortar
45. Low
46. Pigpen
49. Behold
o
I
V6
24.
2S
26
3S
3
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