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FRIDAY, JANUARY 11, 1952
THE DAILY TAR HEEL
y Fa Elba r
i-: i Cli to te
Glenn Harden ...
David Buckner ..
Bill Peacock .
. Sports Editor
. Literary Editor
Mary Nell Boddie
Joe Fw.aff .(.
Beverly Baylor ..
Ed Starnes ... Assoc. Society Editor
wancy Burgess .... Assoc. Society Editor
R'uffin Woody .. Photographer
O. T. Watkins Business Manager
Jim Schenk .... Business Office Manager
Marie Costello Advertising Manager
Frank White National Adv. Manager
News Staff Clyde Baker, Vardy Buckalew. Robert Colbert. Walter Dear, Barty
Dunlop, Grady Elmore, Donna Hauck, Betty Ann Kirby, Sandra Klostermyer.
Jody Levey, Thomas McDonald, Mitchell Novit. Jim Oglesby, Wanda Lou
Philpott, Virginia Polk, Nancy L Heese, Jerry Heese, Betty Jean Schoeppe, Bill
Scarborough, Bab Wilson.
1 t .. . . H
Sports Sta Ken-Barton. Alva Stewart, Buddy Nortftart, Tom Peacock.
Society Sta Dian McComb, Ldndy iindennan, Betty Jean Schoeppe.
Business Staff Flossie Kerves, Wallace Pridgeh, Gerry Miller, Richard Adel
shein, Robert Drew, ;
In an article in the December 12 issue of "The Trinity
Tripod," Henry Eckford, II made the following statements in
his column, "The Fetid Air:"
' " . . . there are some intelligent Southerners. The sad part
of it is, however, that they are few and far between, and what
ones they have down there are usually limited to such knowl
edge as telling time,
"Yet, for some inexplicable reason, it has become fashion
able among the collegiate set to display Confederate battle
flags, wear ties with Stars and Bars printed on them, and now,
worst of all, to dress themselves in Confederate army hats.
"The New South is the same thing as the antebellum model,
because no one down there has made any attempt to grow up
since 1865 ... .
- "You stand accused of representing a completely decadent
and vulgar society, raised in ignorance and proud of it. Look
at the Southern writers: Faulkner, and his morbid interest in
idiocy, corncobs, and necrophilia; Capote, and his fascination
with homosexuality; Caldwell, and his general vulgarity.-Look
to the morals of the South; the sniggering over the practice
of mysogony while publicly it is deplored in the most ve
hement tones; the Georgia chain gangs; the lynchings. Look
at the politics, rampant with graft. In comparison, Boss Tweed
was an angel.
"Dorothy Parker once asked, "What did they ever do in
Gammorah?" She has but to look south of Washington."
Here is an answer to Mr. Eckford:
Dear Mr. Eckford,
I am sorry for you.
I am glad that I know enough about the North to know
that you are not representative of that section of our country.
I am sorry that you do not know more about the South.
I am glad I am a Southerner.
I am glad you are a Northerner. '
We have good people in the South; we have bad people in
the South. .
- You have good people in the North; you have bad people
in the North.
We have good writers in the South; we. have bad writers
in the South. ! '
You are the best myth-writer, m the North.
We have good politicians in the South; we have bad politi
cians in the South. -
. You have good politicians in the North; you have bad
politicians in the North.
; You should never run for any political office in the North.
We have stupid people'in the South; We have smart people
in the South.
You have stupid people in the North; you have smart peo- i
pie in the North.
You are a stupid person in the North, "raised in ignorance
and proud of it."
We have good spellers in the. South; we have bad spellers
in the South. ,
You have good'spellers in the North; you have bad spellers
in the North.
You are a bad speller in the North. The way to spell
Dorothy Parker's word is, GOMORRAH, not GAMMORAH,
as you spelled it.
Northerners and Southerners carry on Southern spirit by
waving banners, wearing hats, and singing "Dixie" in a harm
You defend the North by making faulty accusations, ig
norant references, and gigantic generalizations. ,
. You had better stick around Trinity College and take sev
eral post-graduate courses. May I suggest History, Sociology,
Literature, Political Science, Psychology, and Spelling.
Weep no more, young man.
J Coed overheard in Y court:
"I've got no use . for sixty-minute
The official newspaper of the Publi
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Neal Cadieu Circulation Manager
men; I only have ten minutes
between classes." '
Belgrade, Nov.. 5 This was
the day I'd been dreading. I
had to make a speech before the
student body of the University
of Belgrade and I was afraid
I'd say the wrong thing, lay a
rhubarb, and jinx the whole
. Mitka, who translated my
every syllable into Serbian, was
sitting beside 'me , on the
speaker's rostrum and as the
crowd began to stream into the
hall he leaned over and whis
pered, "What would the folks
back; in America say . if they
knew you were addressing a
meeting of communist youth?"
he chuckled. I didn't.
Mitka- rapped for order and
proceeded with the introduction.
"Mr. Farber comes to us as the
representative of the United
- States ' National Student Asso
ciation." I shivered. My own mother
wouldn't trust me to represent
our branch of the Farber family
at a reunion barbecue and now
I was supposed to speak for the
students of America.
Mitka went on to say that I
was a great thinker, a lover of
peace and freedom, and, . in
general, the greatest blessing
Riff ... by Joe
Every once in a while a few
of my closest enemies get to
gether and begin sounding off
about their pet peeves, Then
they urge me with broken
bottles and poisen-dipped darts
to present these little frustra
tions to the student body hoping
that they will be improved.
First of all, there is a un
animous cry for more girls.
This, I have explained to them,
is unconstitutional and I re
ferred them to the by-laws of
the state concerning admittance
of females to Carolina. It hasn't
phased them much; and the only
solution they can offer is that
the laws be changed or for re
sidents of Chapel Hill to get
busy ' increasing the population
thereby making-college life here
better for future generations.
Tar On My Heels
Charles Duval, in a letter to
The Daily Tar Heel (January
8), said, in so many words, that
the students should be allowed
to take the courses they want
to take, and the instructors
should give everyone good
grades! because, after all, the
student is the "teacher's meal
' Mr. Duval states that many
courses were required so as to
give employment to members
of the faculty. If, however, the
students had no requirements,
can't you imagine the scramble
for each department to make
its subject the biggest "crip"
so the students would take that
subject and thereby keep their
faculty from the bread line?
Suppose, if you will, that
under such a set-up, the English
Department was especially hard.
Would anyone take English?
Even if the department was
moderately difficult, would there
be an adequate enrollment in
this most important school? And,
then too, would anyone here
have a knowledge of mathema
ever to hit the Balkans. The
masses applauded and I began
to get cocky. "After all," I
figured. "Nobody - here can
understand English and if I say
the wrong thing I, can always
blame it on Mitka."
The human brain is a wonder
ful thing. It starts working the
minute you're born and doesn't
stop until you get up to make a
speech. I rattled off a prepared
statement loaded with flowery
phrases, meaningless mumbles,
and popcorn platitudes. Then I
sat down and again everybody
applauded politely. I lit a ciga
rette and collapsed into my
easy chair when Mitka, with a
Slavic sneer, declared, "Mr.
Farber will now be glad to
answer any and all questions
relating to American foreign
policy nd internal affairs."
That did it. I panicked. My
prepared statement fluttered
helplessly to the floor. From here
on out it was strictly ad-lib;
and I couldn't ad-lib a belch
after a Hungarian dinner. The
first question came from a Croat
near the window. "What is your
conception of democracy?"
I said that democracy means
different things to different
And now, from the sublime to
the ridiculous. Some other ac
quaintances complained of the
loud cursing rising from travel
lers on the Raleigh Road last
quarter. It seems that once the .
Naval ROTC unit and another
time the Air Force ROTC unit
were out in full force briskly
counting cadence and marching
in front of the cars enroute be
tween Raleigh and Chapel Hill.
They were not only concerned
about the verbal castigations,
but these perplexed individuals
wished that travelers would not
be spurred to shout them at the
Several others left unsigned
notes on my desk saying that
they desired ABC Stores in
Chapel Hill. The reason being
that the daily cost of a trip to
tics? Mathematics being perhaps
my worst subject, I purposely
chose this one, because I would
particularly have welcomed
such a situation as Charles
Duval outlined as far as Math
is concerned. But although I
didn't enjoy my two quarters
of math, I realize it was a neces
sary part of a college education.
Last year, undoubtedly, I
would have had sympathy for
what Mr. Duval said. However,
over the holidays, I had a
chance to read some of the be$t
sellers, and found some of the
writing over my head. Is that
what a college graduate would
want to admit? A man with a
BS should be able to read the ,
current best sellers and under
stand them adequately. If we
were allowed to pick our own
subjects, and if the ' teachers
had to live with the constant
remembrance, that the students
were their mealticket, I doubt
if college graduates would be
any better equipped than high
Mr. Duval states, "The, elective
system should prevail one hun-
people. (That's always "safe.) I
said , that, to me, democracy
means I can look any , man in
the eye and ; tell him to go to
hell. It means nobody. , cares
where I go on Sunday and it
means nobody's going to throw
me in ' the cooler because I
called Truman a nasty 'name.
I had knocked a base hit but
I still wasn't home yet. Next
question. "Korea?" I explained
that Uncle Sam finally wised up
to the fact that it doesn't pay
to sit in the grandstand while
the little nations get flushed
down the drain one by one and
if Joe Stalin or .anybody else
wants to cross a free borderline
in the future, he'd better have
his passport dulj; checked and
stamped. I also pointed out that
our campaign in Korea is ; un
tarnished by imperialistic
claims. All we ask of Korea is
enough ground to bury our dead.
After that the feathers flew.
"Is Marxism taught at your
University?" "Can poor boys go
to school?" "Are you in a fra
ternity?" "How many negroes
does your fraternity lynch every
I somehow managed to counter
jab. . .
Durham was too high and they
couldn't get too high if the
overall cost were too high for
their pocket-books. Some other
billetsdoux that were . left un
graced by signatures suggested
that Chapel Hill have a pool
hall and a bowling alley.' That
reminds me of the forty Duke
students who were left homeless
last week when the place where
they had " been living burned
down. The Pool Hall.
Someone contended that
Chapel Hill has too much rain,
but that solution takes care of
itself. Meanwhile The Daily Tar
Heels wants -staff members, the
Chess Qlub wants members,
and I just received another letter
from a male undergraduate that
he still wants more girls.
by Bill G. Crown
dred percent at the University of
North Carolina, Only under the
elective system is the student
assured of justice. Also, . . . the
attitude of "many teachers would
change." ' . V
If the elective system had
been in feffect my. first two years
at Carolina, I would have taken
the following subjects: Psych
ology 25, Social Science II, and
Economics 31 and 32, and prob
ably not all of these. I would
not have taken English courses,
because of v the necessity to do
so mu ch theme writing. I
wouldn't have taken math
simply because I Kate the sub
ject, and I wouldn't have taken
BA 71 . and 72 because of the
"eight-hours" and, Friday ' tests.
So with the four subjects
mentioned - above, " and any
"crips" I could find out about,
I am to suppose, I would be a
well-educated person. Let me
hasten to say that I do not sup
pose myself a well-educated
person as it! -is, but Somewhat
better than I would have been
under . ; : Mr. j ; &uva?'J elective
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