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COMMENTARY he Ann Landers of gun control By TODD DAVIS Dr. Simon Simple, acclaimed for whatnot with a gratuitous doctorate in advice, solves student problems and other world crises. Dear Dr. Simple: My roommate just bought a gun. Call him Clem. At first I was shocked but then decided this is the South and it is every man's right to own a gun. Anyway, it says so in the Bible somewhere. Yet after the shock wore of f about Clem's new toy. I got , sorta scared. You see, Clem is very impressionable. His favorite movies are "Taxi Driver" and "The Deer Hunter' which both had a little something to do with guns and urn, uh, death. Now Clem has a gun, My problem is I'm afraid. that while I'm asleep Clem might have a bad dream, wake up, stalk behind the furni ture with his gun, and wait for me to move in my sleep so he can put the bead on me. - What can I do? I've already tried going to a college roommate counselor. The counselor thought I should try to see things from Clem's point of view, but all I ever see is a target with me as the bullseye! The counselor suggested that I should be honest with Clem and confront him with my feelings about his gun. The last thing I want to do is confront Clem. What should I do? Sleepless Slim Dear Sleepless: I agree that you should not follow the counselor's ad vice. Instead, take my advice buy a gun, put it under your pillow, and look out for Number One. Dear Dr. Simple: I've been dating this guy. Call him Clem. Recently, Clem bought a gun. At first I was shocked but then thought this is the Southland gems are okay. Anyway, everyone on TV has guns... . '.. ..v.., ... J think Clernvyants to marry me. I feel he's going to pro .' pojjejany, fa,y 'p'ow '$Ay prpblem is I don't want to marry Clem but J'rrT scard'poio now that he carries a gun. You see, Clem is veympressionable and likes to pretend he's Robert be Niro in !'Taxi Driver" although I'm afraid he's not pretending anymore. Just yesterday Clem gave me an add-a-bullet necklace. What should I do? Cringing Coed Dear Cringing: Take my advice buy a gun, hide it on your body, and when Clem tries to propose just look out for Number One. Dear Dr. Simple: I'm a young man in college who recently bought a gun. Call me Clem. At first I was shocked about buying a gun but then I figgered this is the South and I like, shooting guns. Anyway, there's always something to shoot around here like a beer bottle, road sign or someone who don't see things my way. My problem is I'm getting a little paranoid. My girlfriend and roommate have been acting mighty strange since I bought my gun. I even think that they might be seeing each other behind my back. I've decided to solve my problem of being paranoid. I'm going to propose to my girlfriend and find out what's going on. If she accepts my proposal, everything will be all right But if she won't marry me, I'll probably go off the deep end with my gun and put the bead on my roommate while he's asleep and also take care of my girlfriend, too, and give my add-a-bullet necklace to some girl who really deserves what I have to offer. Do I need professional help? What should I do? Call Me Clem Dear Call Me Clem: You don't need professional help. You're perfectly normal. However, everyone around you is crazy. Take my advice watch out, keep that gun loaded, and as always look out for Number One. Todd Davis is a senior RTVMP major from Around, N.C. By KEN SIM AN (From AP Reports) . . Mideast developments Surrounded by Israeli strength in Leba non, PLO leader Yasir Arafat was seeking United States recognition for his Palestine Liberation Organization as his price for leav ing Lebanon, Lebanese and Palestinian sources said Tuesday. And the New York Times reported that a senior PLO official said Tuesday he could state officially that the PLO was prepared to recognize Israel "on a reciprocal basis." The PLO official, Issam Sartawi accordingly called on the U.S. government to recognize the PLO and to deal with it directly. (Sartawi would not say whether his statement had been authorized by Arafat) Arafat will apparently reverse his current refusal to abandon Beirut by sea, escorted by the U.S. 6th Fleet if the United States recognized the PLO. ... ; The U.S.r , through presidential envoy Philip Habib, has dealt with the PLO only through intermediaries. Meanwhile, the Israelis, frustrated by the lack of progress in negotiations. to evacuate the PLO, moved more troops and armor to the edges of West Beirut Tuesday and warned "we have the tools and the means" to remove Palestinian guerillas from Beirut fcnma THE WEEK IN REVIEW "Time is running out (for a negotiated set tlement)," warned Israeli Defense Minister Ariel Sharon. Congressional leaders said Tuesday that the use of U.S. troops in Lebanon soon is un likely. After being briefed by Reagan and other White House officials Tuesday, Sen. Chades Percy, R-lll., chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee said an agreement to end the Israeli invasion of Lebanon "is not around the comer. Too many factors still have to come together." Both Percy and Rep. Clement Zablocki, D-Wis., chairman of the House Foreign Af fairs Committee, said Reagan's offer to send troops to West Beirut does not constitute a final decision. "Ifs far from being finalized as to what action we will take," Zablocki said. . . . Iran Invades Iraq The Iranian invasion of Iraq Tuesday was a major escalation of the 22-month war be tween the two oil-producing nations. The war began in September 1980 when Iraq .invaded Iran in an attempt to gain full control of the Shatt-al Arab waterway, which forms part of the two nations' common border and is Iraq's only outlet to the Persian Gulf. , An Iranian military communique was quoted as saying Iranian troops would use the "liberation of Iraq" as a step towards their goal of freeing Jerusalem "from the KMC! : 4tSH! Hi Iff : 4r-' claws of the aggressive, criminal Israeli Zionism." The communique also said the Iranian of fensive was "to prevent further Iraqi and ; other U.S. lackeys' aggression, and to keep at a distance the Iraqi fire from cities of the Islamic homeland Iran." The Washington Post quoted one U.S. of ficial Tuesday as saying a successful Iranian invasion "will complicate things badly." The Post reported that some administra tion officials believed the Soviets might send some support to Iran, putting the United States in the precarious position of perhaps having to favor Iraq, a country with which the United States does not have forma! rela tions. . .. After Haig Secretary of State-designate George Shultz began his confirmation hearings before the Senate Foreign Relations Com mittee this week, with signs pointing to a ' confirmation as early as Thursday. Reinforcing his reputation as a "team player," Shultz expressed support of all of the administration's foreign policy actions to date, including President Reagan's proposal to send U.S. marines into Lebanon. Shultz, who was president of the Bechtel Group, a construction firm which does con siderable business with Arab nations, said his1 Mideast policy would be unaffected by the company. Shultz has severed all ties with the company since his nomination. Shultz,. however, is likely to be moresym pathetic to the plight of Arab nations; than his predecessor, Alexander Haig. He said he would seek closer ties with Arab states and raised the possibility of direct dealings with the PLO. "If the PLO changes and becomes something other than the PLO as we know it . . . certainly (negotiating) is something that ought to be considered," he said. . . . Friday's nightmare In the second worst airline disaster in U.S. history, a Pam Am 727 jet crashed Friday afternoon in a thunderstorm shortly after takeoff on a New Orleans-to-Las Vegas flight killing all 145. aboard the plane and eight people on the ground. FBI sound technicians have transcribed a 58-second segment of the 30-minute tape of cockpit conversation. Howeverthe segment provided no clues to the cause of the crash. In Los Angeles, the first lawsuit stemming from the crash was filed in federal court. The suit asking $70 million, was filed by Elaine and Arthur Cunnings of Howell, Mich, who lost two daughters and three grandchil dren In. the crash. fK?n SiWui a junior historypolitical science mab? froVn Charlotte, is the associate editor of The Tar Heel. Thursday, July 15, 1982 The Tar Heel 15
Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
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