6BThe Daily Tar Heel Thursday, August 21, 1986
s
muray sexism meeciis cMM-pirooit cap
OH
A severe flaw in children's
Saturday morning TV pro
gramming has come to my
attention. I don't want to take sole
credit I'm sure many of you have
noticed it but were just afraid to act,
afraid to question that insitution of
our society known as the cartoon.
Jill Gerber
StateNat'l Editor
But it s time to recognize this atrocity
being weekly spoon-fed to our
nation's youngsters and to riit
permanently.
Of course I'm speaking of lie
tiny, royal-blue creatures knowts
Smurfs. The "adorable" wl
footed nymphs inhabit mushrq
like cottages deep in the foi.
They're totally self-reliant, comp;
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Fir Etm)f
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with an elderly wise man known as
"Papa SmurP who keeps the entire
tribe free of misfortune with his
magical potions and vast knowledge
of all the pitfalls of smurfdom.
If it sounds sweet, it's not. The
seemingly innocent half-hour of
animated frolic is contributing to the
moral decay of our children by
presenting them with false percep
tions of adult responsibilities and
exposing them to rampant sexism
and softcore pornography. Several
key facets of the show must be
modified to make its lessons presen
table and wholesome.
a First of all, the Smurfs' blatant
discriminatioh against women must
go. There's only one female to
propagate the entire race of indigo
dwarfs, and she is so stripped of any
identity other than her role as a
reproductive machine that she's
called "Smurfette," so low that she
deserves nothing more than the
group name with a feminine ending
tacked on for convenience.
The Smurfs are rabid with smut.
ISmurfette is a porn kitten. Clad in
la short white skirt and matching
heels reminiscent of Minnie Mouse,
ihe shamelessly flaunts her promis
cuity. Her only power over the men
that she is their only means of
ixual release and she knows this,
:knowledging it with a bold toss
f her long blond hair.
Another dangerous lesson pro-
pted by the Smurfs is hedonism.
hat do they do all day long?
hey're a big commune. One makes
f 111 . I !
ssens an day; some gainer oernes
und with his little inventions.
;y have no goals but to avoid their
enemy, Gorgol, who has a Smurf
?h of unnatural proportions. The
ip establishes no work ethic for
children, whoU grow up with
-egard for the traditional child
ly activities school, church,
cies and milk before bedtime.
Revision is not what it used to
btVhat happened to good, old
fabned shows like "G id get" and
"Ncus Welby"? Robert Young
ne wore white boots or had a head
likHershey's Kiss, for God's sake.
Gerber. a junior journalism
md from Charlotte, hates anv
thif'cute. "
Lack of free staff
a blatant example
off moral downfall
ur nation faces a tremend-
11
lous moral collapse that
already is well on its way
to corrupting, utterly and irrevoc
ably, the ideals of America's
youth.
For one thing, motels don't
give their guests shampoo, post
cards and stationery any more.
It's true. During a drive from
Arizona, 1 had the chance to see,
firsthand, the factors contributing
to society's headlong plunge into
oblivion and shamelessness.
Well, okay, not all motels
should be included. There was a
Best Western in Albuquerque
that had a postcard. But no
shampoo.
Holiday Inn doesn't even do it
anymore. They have R-rated,
softcore porn on satellite
"Desire Under the Sun" and
"Emanuelle's Amazon Adven
ture" but they won't give you
shampoo. Does that sound like
something that happens in an
upright, moral society? Some
thing is seriously wrong with the
world when you're charged $50
or $60 to stay in a room for one
night but your shampoo is
replaced with low-budget porn
flicks.
It all starts off like this. Motels
decrease their services, people
come to expect less for their
money, kids expect to do less for
their allowance and, next thing
you know, people are violating
sodomy laws left and right and
turning in their neighbors for
seditious or Communistic
activities.
I've seen evidence of this; it has
invaded my own home and family
my little brother's single
aspiration in life is to be a yuppie.
He adores Madonna. He
Guy Lucas
Staff Writer
thinks George Michael is a
paragon of rock V roll virtues.
He begins his first year of college
this week; he wants to major in
money. He actually said to me,
"Hey, what's wrong with being
young, successful and rich?"
He makes me want to throw
up.
So what are we faced with?
How can we halt the creeping
death that's festering in our land
and dragging us down to life's
scummy, fetid ponds where now
only Dookies tread? I had a lot
of time to think of this during the
trip. (My brother wouldn't let me
drive his car. He did, however,
tell me to shut up.)
We could picket hotels and
motels that won't give shampoo.
We could write scathing letters to
their corporate headquarters.
Maybe send a soap bomb or two
to their front desks. If things
started getting really nasty, we
could book every room in each
hotel and stay there every day for
a week without washing our hair,
then camp out in the lobby to
scare off new guests.
None of this would work. I
don't think anything would.
Moral decline is inevitable, so IVe
decided the only thing to do is
enjoy what fun immorality we
have before Pat Robertson
becomes president and hotels
install baptismal pools.
Guy Lucas is a severely disillu
sioned senior 'journalism major
from Greensboro.
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