6OmnibusThursday, September 22, 1988
I
By RICHARD SMITH
Staff Writer
A man once wrote to The
Times of London with the fol
lowing: "Dear Sin in my day . . ,"
and signed off. I know exactly
what he meant
Now the reason l bring this
up is because I want to talk
about children's television. Lett
face it. its not the same as it
was in our day; not in this
country (see last week's Omni
bus) and certainly not in my
own (which is England dont
you just dig my accent?). But
just in case you think I'm headed
off on some tedious nostalgia
trip, think again, and dont be
so presumptuous next time.
What I have to say may con
vince you that if s jolly good
that things have changed.
in my day puppets had
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strings, dogs were spotty and
teatime was at 20 to six, just
before bedtime. And it all
reeked of establishment, of
official BBC-dom. The children's
program we all loved the most
had the umbrella title of
"Watch With Mother." it was on
during midweek lunchtimes
with a different story each day.
Little did we know that the
programs we were so inno
cently watching were chocka
blockful of sexual innuendo and
perversion.
Yes, if s true! The same people
who bring you Masterpiece
Theatre were corrupting the
minds of millions of little child
ren. Read on and see if you dont
come to the conclusion that
there are some pretty sick
people at the BBC
Forgive me if I start with the
worst "Captain Pugwash" was
a five-minute weekly cartoon
that we ail knew and loved.
Except that, eventually, it was
banned. Captain Pugwash's
crew sailed on a ship called The
Jolly Roger," ("roger" being
slang for . . . well, you work it
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Master Bates, the second was
called Seaman Stains and the
last was known as Dick the
Cabin Boy.
Some grown-up must have
watched it one day and told
someone important (like the
national press) what exactly
was going on. it took them long
enough: the show was on for
a number of years. Now it's
shown after midnight on one
of the minority channels, with
half of the British population
seriously wondering how they
just hadnt noticed. And if you
don't think thafs enough, I
have others.
"Bill and Ben, the Flowerpot
Men" was started in the '50s,
and was eventually banned in
the 70s. The official reason was
that the BBC was afraid it was
encouraging disabilities in the
speech of children. Bill and Ben.
I should explain, spoke by mak
ing noises like "Flobalobb.
Lobbaflobby-lob-lob" Stuff like
that
But we ail know the rumour
that- went around; the real
reason the show was struck
from our screens. Bill and Ben
got in the same flowerpot and
made funny noises once too
often, didnt they? And Little
Let's Active
and bassist John Heames.
A marked departure from the
pop stylings predominant on the
record. "Orpheus In Hades Lounge"
sounds like a cross between Ques
tion Mark and the Mysterians and
the Lounge Lizards - bizarre and
quite enjoyable.
"Mr. Fool" again speaks of being
content with past accomplish
ments. This time the message is
directed at a boastful fool who
keeps talking up awards from
those days spent hanging out" and
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Weed, the plant whose vocab
ulary consisted of a high
pitched "weeeeeeeeeeeeed,"
squealed a little too excitedly,
didnt she? Horrible images
come to mind: dirty old BBC
men laughing maniacally as Bill
climbs in with Ben and . . . wen,
it doesnt bear thinking about,
really.
And finally, for your delight
and delectation, there's "The
Magic Roundabout," another
puppet show with a penchant
for the perverse. Characters
included: Ermintrude, the cow
who ate flowers all day; Brian,
the incredibly stupid snail; Flor
ence, the dozy female with the.
dodgy hand signals,- zebedee,
the coiled spring with a moust
ache who would bounce around
at the end of the show and say,
"Time for bed" and Dylan, (the
hare with not just a passing
resemblance to a certain rock
legend) who would sit around
ail day eating carrots looking
totally stoned. ;
No wonder it never made any
sense to us,- all the characters
were high. It was nothing but
a sharp parody of the '60s. Its
so obvious now. All those psy
chedelic flowers. The Round
about itself, where things
would suddenly come to light
who uses his arrogance to hide his
fear of future failure.
Side one ends with Mitch and
the gang taking us on a loud fast
trip "Ten Layers Down." Not sure
what this one's all about, but who
cares it rocks!
Side two, while not quite as
strong overall as the first, has its
fair share of fine playing and
intelligent lyrics. In "Too Bad"
Easter presents a comical, fatalistic
view of life-. "When the bad luck
streak was etched in stoneIt
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"Have another weed, Florence."
"Dont mind if I do, Brian."
Booiingn
"Time for bed."
Makes you wonder. Of course,
"Watch With Mother is long
since defunct. Lobbyists suc
cessfully petitioned that most
children did not watch with
their mothers (who were earn
ing themselves a living thank
you very much), if the children
had mothers in the first place,
ifs called "Seesaw" now. very
bland, very safe. No innuendo
there. And almost unwatchable
to boot
You see, I'm in a real dilemma
here.- Part of me thinks ifs
totally brilliant that the entire
British public was fooled for so
long, part of me thinks that the
BBC is a sick place after all, and
part of me remembers these
programs with misty-eyed nos
talgia Can I do all three? A lot
of people still love the shows.
"Watch With Mother: The
Video" is the bestselling video
of 1 988 so far in Blighty.
So, I dont know, the next
time you scoff at what the
youngsters have today, maybe
you'd like to think back at what
you really had before you
launch into your tirade, "Of
course, in my day..."
from page 3
landed from the mountian down
the street to my home."
"Bad Machinery" comes off as a
bitter indictment against Reagan
era government, but you have to
listen hard to pick up some of the
best lines, e.g., "Seen through
camouflage-colored glass we all
suspect" Easter wishes a not-so-fond
farewell to those who've
been turning the key of the bad
-machinery, ending the chorus with
the stinging: "Take care, please
forget to write."
Lag:, and in this case, perhaps
least is the appropriately titled
"Terminate." The pseudo-jazz
arrangement is a welcome enough
change, but the song never quite
goes anywhere. To be fair, this
track might sound better were
the rest of the album not so
consistent
John Leckie, best known for his
excellent work with the Dukes of
Stratosphear, shares production
credit with Easter, and his influ
ence can be heard here in the
brilliant guitar tones and the
clarity of the drums. The fact that
the same four people played on
every cut (unlike the "Mitch and
Friends" set-up on the last album)
gives the record a cohesiveness
and strength that has always been
somewhat lacking in past efforts.
It is dear that Easter and his new
cohorts are breaking away from
the more crowded, busy musical
arrangements that characterized
his earlier work in Lets Active and
with pop stalwarts Chris stamey
and Peter Holsapple. Here's hoping
this current lineup stays together
for a few years and continues
making records as good as this fine