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The daily Tar Heel. (Chapel Hill, N.C.) 1946-current, December 08, 1988, Page 19, Image 19

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8DTHOmnibusThursday, December 8, 1988 Forget the partridge, grab a holiday keg By CATHY McHUGH Omnibus Editor "The Twelve Days of Christmas" Is a nice, traditional tune, but, lets face it, it's just another happy holiday song to taunt us while we're going through helL Namely, the "The 12 Days of Exams." (I'm including this weekend, Reading Day and next Sunday.) Sing along if you wish. On the first day of exams my true love (friend, enemy, signifi cant other, whatever) gave to me - a KEG in a tree. That's right, we're in college, so lefs be serious. One beer? I think not. On the second day of exams, my true love gave to me two sharpened pencils, and a KEG in a tree. On the third day of exams, my true love gave to me: three blue books, two sharpened pencils, and a KEG in a tree. On the fourth day of exams, my true love gave to me, four fits of rage, three blue books, two shar pened pencil, and a keg in a tree. On the fifth day of exams, my true love gave to me five sleepless nights! four fits of rage, three blue Celebrate if- Holiday Season Songs of the future (JSongs of the season A Community Celebration for the Interfaith Council's Community Shelter and Kitchen. Please bring a can of monaay, L'ecemDer iztn :uu p.m. zfi Dean Smith Center, Chapel Hill Tickets are $15.00 Available at the Smith Center Ticket Office, all Ticketron Outlets and by calling Teletron at 1-800-543-3041 for Visa and MasterCard orders. Sponsored by The Village Companies Foundation M 1 T" 1 A Consolidated Entertainment Group Event ' r v, books, two sharpened pencils, and a KEG in a tree. On the sixth day of exams, those SCUMBAGS gave to me, six parking tickets, five sleepless nights! four fits of rage, three blue books, two sharpened pencils, and a KEG in a tree. On the seventh day of exams, my true love gave to me, seventh floor of Davis, six parking tickets, five sleepless nights! four fits of rage, three blue books, two shar pened pencils, and a KEG in a tree. On the eighth day of exams, my true love gave to me, eight pots of coffee, seventh floor of Davis, six parking tickets, five sleepless nights! four fits of rage, three blue books, two sharpened pencils, and a KEG in a tree. On the ninth day of exams, my true love gave to me, nine Exced rin bottles, eight pots of coffee, seventh floor of Davis, six parking tickets, five sleepless nights! four fits of rage, three blue books, two sharpened pencils, and a KEG in a tree. On the 10th day of exams, my true love gave to me, 10 tons of Vivarin, nine Excedrin bottles, eight pots of coffee, seventh floor the with JOHN DENVER In Concert O Songs of the past food to the show. 11.1 -f rr Too bad 12-ounce kegs of Davis, six parking tickets, five sleepless nights! four fits of rage, three blue books, two sharpened pencils, and a KEG in a tree. On the 11th day of exams, my true love gave to me, 11 delivered pizzas, 10 tons of Vivarin, nine Excedrin bottles, eight pots of Random relief from exam stress By ELIZABETH ELLEN Staff Columnist About this time of year, stress and burnout vie for the souls of all who even pretend to be engaged in academic pursuits. "This time of year is defined by the fact that one no longer expects to be able to leave the house without a jacket and is ecstatic if the possibility of doing just this presents itself as a plea sant option. Wonder about this "April is the cruellest month" business. April seems pretty good to me, and days which are reminiscent of the shameless naivete of April sun shine and the endlessly deepening blue of a spring sky are too seductive to resist, especially at this time of year. But December, too, has its charms, diversions from the neo monastic existence a student adopts during this period of aca JAPANESE CUISINE & SUSHI HOUSE Come dine xvith us at Park Terrace! Nightly Specials & Authentic Japanese Cuisine For Reservations Park Terrace Shopping Center 2223 Hwy 54 Durham, N.C. Also, Now Hiring! don't grow on trees, but they're coffee, seventh floor of Davis, six parking tickets, five sleepless nights! four fits of rage, three blue books, two sharpened pencils, and a KEG in a tree. Finally, on the 12th day of exams, my true love gave to me 12 nervous breakdowns, 11 HOUGHTS demic evaluation. There are the manifestations of Christmas to deal with and consider. in a nutshell, the answer is Handel's "Messiah," a work that makes all other Christmas music obsolete. Beyond the finale of this definitive oratorio lies the vast wasteland of such ditties as "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer," "Jingle Bell Rock" and similar fluff. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Rein deer" is a fascinating study not only in childhood psychology, but also in capitalist values, sexism expressed as paternalism, the group dynamics of persecuting nonconformists and redistribution of goods. Plus it provides the basis for yet another drinking game in the style of "Hi, Bob." The cue this time is, naturally, the glowing nose. Question these manifestations of the season, and you just may If JL Lunch: Tue.-Fri. 11:30-1:30 Dinner: Tue.-Thur. &Sun. 5:30-3:30 Fri. & Sat. 5:30-10:00 better than partridges delivered pizzas, 1 0 tons of Vivarin, nine Excedrin bottles, eight pots of coffee, seventh floor of Davis, six parking tickets, five sleepless nights!- tour fits of rage, three blue books, two sharpened pencils, AND A KEG IN A TREE. And may God bless us, everyone. have substantial food for thought Christmas customs as critical the ory have a certain appeal. Question the state of modern journalism when The New York Times runs a photo of a Bush Quayle double date on the front page. Yes, it seems that after eight years of being led by a man who thinks he lives in a movie, we will be led by a man who watches movies and his sidekick who pon ders the complexities of how to smuggle popcorn and candy into a theater. And you thought Quayie was no strategist! Simply putting George, Babs, Danny and Marilyn on page one is not so important in itself. Only by following the logical implications of this prioritizing do you get bogged down. The medium is the message. Reverse this, and you come up with the message Is the medium. One could argue that a publication as prestigious as the Times represents contemporary American print journalism. That this particular message is defined as news leads us to a disturbing picture of what the medium is today. December is not the cruellest month, but it can push one to examine one's own intellectual, spiritual, sexual, cultural and gas tronomical limits. Suppressing random thoughts is the aim of conventional exams and research papers. Redefine "self-discipline" and rebel against constriction before it rubs blisters on your soul. After all, some of the most original thought goes on when Bob Newhart spends an entire episode entering rooms. - - . j ' . tj. !

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