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DTHOmnibusThursday, January 26, 19899 Retrospectively speaking By RANDAL BULLOCK Staff writer It seems fitting to start this forward-looking retrospective with a look back at the last forward-looking retrospective which, technically speaking, looked ahead last year in a backwards manner to today. This will aid us in our look at last year's debut albums which may produce next year's rock stars. And remember, rock stars are what this is ail about We ended up with two big, fat successes Happy Rowers and They Might Be Giants. Both second albums fulfilled the promises of their first and rewarded them with deserved success. They are now rock stars. To offset those, we had two that either went nowhere or fell flat on their face, to wit: Balancing Act and Big Dipper. Balancing Act, with a second album as good as their first, received exactly the same amount of recognition andor obscurity and will have to wait for another "rock star roundup." Big Dipper's second album, however, bites meat entirely, and proved that it is, indeed, harder for males the second time. They may be in luck though, their album is almost good enough for MTV. Which leaves the remainder, all Barbecue may By ELIZABETH ELLEN Staff Writer Regardless of whether or not the uninitiated think barbecue looks like cat food, Catfish Hunter t definitely likes the barbecue at Bullock's in Durham. Gracing the restaurant's wall is an auto graphed photo of him grinning as he stuffs in those succulent, greasy morsels of spiced pork. He certainly looks as though he believes all is well in the world. That's why you have to wonder why a photo of U2 is hung right next to the one of Catfish. The caption underneath it reads "U2 Band from Ireland," just to distin- . guish this group from the U2 Band from Arkansas (which has been voted best musical group in rat ings by the Arkansas Tech Wonder Boys every year but one since 1974). The men in the picture are blissfully luxuriating in the delights of Bullock's barbecue, but they sure dont look like the Gaelic lads most folks outside of Arkansas associate with the name U2. Some how contentment doesnt suit Bono and Company. With the barbecue, Catfish and the Edge are eating hush puppies, a cornmeal miracle originally designed to shut up yapping mutts and Irish musicians. Eating pebbles shuts up chickens and helps them digest their food. pandom THOUGHTS languishing, vinyl-wise, in a black hole somewhere. Leather Nun, Opal, Dukes of Stratosphear, Andy White and Pianosaurus all forgot to release a second album anbd thereby make it hard to predict their "important artist of tomor row status. It is rumored that all the members of these bands are spending their time on a joint benefit album for the victims of Live Aid, so stay tuned. With that out of the way, and with a hearty "all systems go!" we can use our "hindsight to the future" with renewed confidence. All the rules for inclusion that applied last year still apply, but I'm not going to tell you what they are, because I plan to break them freely and it is easier if I hold all the cards. Now, without any further niggling, we will look at last year's debut albums, in roughly no order whatsoever. Rrst, in the "Yes, I listen to (and actually enjoy some of) this wimpy college crap, too" category comes Lilac Time, wherein an ex-Duran also-Duran put together a senti mental, gently rocking combo that writes soft, cuddly, folksy pop tunes that are the perfect sound complement for a warm rainy day and langorous sex. You arent too hip to like this. look like cat Some lunatic dogs eat rocks because they think they are afflicted with chicken stomach syndrome. (There's nothing wrong with having a chicken stomach, provided that one is a chicken, of course.) Unless these canines do indeed have chicken stomachs they will probably die of rock ingestion. Speaking of rock ingestion, isnt it oxymoronic to speak of the Dead doing a live show? Chickens who eat pebbles, and even those who do not, may lay brown eggs. This is not an irrele vant bit of trivia; empirical evi dence suggests that raw choco late chip cookie dough made with brown eggs is darker in color than the same stuff made with white eggs. Eating too much of the darker variety may cause one to believe in the chicken stomach syndrome. Chickens cross a lot of roads, and sometimes bridges, I suppose. Because of this, "Bridge ices before road" is a vague bit of propaganda which should not go unchallenged. That earth retains heat better than air is a logical claim, but the wording of the road signs pro claiming this is weird. Is the word "before" being used in its temporal sense or its spatial sense? Does the bridge only ice on the section one comes to just before returning to about the years best new Next, in the "bands for the discolored teeth set" we have the Gibson Brothers and the Hickoids who have traced rock 'n' roll's roots all the way back to a time when people lived in isolated little groups, love was dirty and neces sarily involved your sister or brother. Yes, bodies were crusted with dirt back then, but it was honest, and so is this music Prim itive, woodsy, a bit sick and com pletely indispensable. Two perfect bands for yuppies. in the "cosmetic surgery can do wonders these days" category, we have scrawl and Chicken Scratch. These bands are from the same sort of mold as the prior two, except these bands actually inte ract with other people and have listened to albums made in the last 40 years. Driving, jagged and earthy, and definitely for those people who like things "driving, jagged and earthy." in the "those Brits are so damned cute" category is Stump, who have everyone who wears novelty underwear dancing to that uneven unpredictable Stump beat. With root feeders extending from Monty Python, Capt. Beef heart, vaudeville, and the New Dating Game, Stump offers up the greatest soundtrack-to-an-asylum food but only the road? What about the verb "to ice?" Can a bridge spontane ously form frozen water? Can a bridge in New Orleans ice over in July? Maybe the signs should read, "Relative to the adjacent road, bridge tends to be coated with ice earlier, during cold spells." Or maybe the signs shouldn't be put up at all. Empirical evidence shows that bridges with "Bridge ices before road" signs get icier than bridges that don't know any better. Write to Speaker Mavretic about this. During rainy spells, drivers tend to use windshield wipers, which are fine visibility aids. They are aiso annoying distractions when they go too fast over dry glass. The light that emanates from squid fleets in the Sea of Japan is an annoying distraction to anyone looking at Earth from space. The lights may attract squid, but their visibility at such a distance grossly exaggerates the relative importance of Japanese squid fishers in the grand scheme of things. Talk about warping perceptual dimensions. If Herbert Marcuse discusses "One Dimensional Man," how would he characterize woman? As zero-dimensional, which in geo metric terms is a point? Or is she pointless? is Marcuse pointless? to spill edgewise from that lova ble, huggable island overseas. A selection that I'm sure never leaves the tape player of an infinite-capacity clown car. On a grimmer note, there is the "disaffected Americans wielding snarling guitars" category, with entries from Band of Susans and Rapeman. Rapeman is basically Big Black with a real drummer and the results are as devastating and out of control as one who would expect anything would expect. "Nuff said. Band of Susans uses a slide rule and a fine point drill to create the most intricately calcu lated sledge hammer guitar mess to smear off vinyl. Both of these albums are perfect listening for an edgy nine-hour delay at the air port, waiting for a plane that will just blow up in mid-air anyway. Americana at its street-level Americana-est. And then, in the penultimate position, are the entries for the "American indie label scene is a sparkling one indeed" movement. Labels like Homestead, Subpop, Blast Rrst and a rejuvenated SST make the competition fierce, but the clear leader in the field has to be Kramer's Shimmy Disc. Kramer, legendary bassist-wildman, can be chickens should eat stones Maybe we're all living on a two- dimensional plane, and our visions of spherical heavens emblazoned with supernovas and red giants SUJDBWM'S DMMMILIM Sonny on t&e Cttc&ttvettCeitce, eve wc te- . atadelutf wt (faifrel M dtone to- &ette &eve &&zfiel 'ftyiti xnd 6t& community. 'WotcA, fan uvi tfautd 7e-Ofcetit4 Sate efccuvtcf !Ot& & ttt&! Visit our other area locations: Willow Creek Shopping Center- Glenwood Shopping Center Jones Ferry Rd., Carrboro 1204 Raleigh Rd., Chapel Hill 929-2288 968-4233 Eastgate Shopping Center Chapel Hill 967-SUBS roclinroll proud of msfiy things, but none more than having four (count 'emu albums in Randy's Arbitrary "Bum pin'stuff in Debutland" (RABID) 1988 list. Obviously, there are too many to go into, so here Bongwater, King Missile (Dog Ry Religion), Gwar, , and Fred Lane and his Hittite Hotshots. Any mention of these bands in this article is redundant. Before I tell you the most "impor tant" debut release of last year, there are one or two other things l must say. Poi Dog Pondering. Tiny Lights. There. Can I go on? Now, for the most Bumpin'stuff in debutland, and not only because they are from my hometown (I told you this was arbitrary), but because they are concerned about the future and ruthless in their consideration of it, and that they put the whole thing to the most intense, bristling, electric dance beat that harDCore kids, and maybe anyone else, have ever put out. We need energy to run this country, and Fugazi could provide it Rex Your Head. Here's hoping we have a future, rock stars or no. Listen to WXYC and if you can't love thy neighbor, at least stay out of his face. Until next time. are only the deluded dreams of flatlanders intoxicated with notions of infinity. If so. it would probably make sense to the squid. COMING SOON: Timberlyne Shopping Center Weaver Dairy Rd., Chapel Hill 967-7771
Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
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Jan. 26, 1989, edition 1
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