DTHSpring Sports '89Tuesday, February 28, 19893
A Southerner's guide to a Northern same
For those of you, particularly you
freshmen from Momeyer, N.C., who
think that a crease is something in
your pants, or that a long-stick
middie is a well-endowed Naval
Academy grad, or that "Gilman" is
the nickname of the creature from the
Black Lagoon, I am here to teach you
about some of the finer points of the
game of lacrosse.
Southerner to Southerner.
Now, lacrosse is a sport kind of
like hockey, and we Southerners
know as much about hockey as we
do about snow tires. We just don't
see the need Jo put a couple of Gillette
Ultras on our feet and go out to bust
our butts on very cold ice.
But lacrosse isn't played on ice, and
you don't have to strap razor blades
to your feet to chase around a flat
black rubber thing. Lacrosse is a
spring sport, played outdoors, pref-
erably in the sun, and the South has
plenty of spring sun.
If you are new to the sport of
lacrosse, and most native North
Carolinians are, it's high time you got
to know a little about the game
known as the "King of the Spring."
That way, when the weather's nice
you can mosey down to Kenan
Stadium (or Fetzer Field or Astroturf
Field or wherever they're playing this
week) and try to figure out what the
hell's going on.
Here are a few simple pointers:
Lacrosse is played by Northerners
I hat s Yankees to you and. me.
Most lacrosse players come from way
up above the Mason-Dixon line,
where they talk real fast and
obnoxiously.
Technically, the heart of lacrosse
is in the South Baltimore, Md.
However, I personally don't consider
Baltimore Southern because it's way
too close to that bastion of french-
fry-head Yankeedom, Philadelphia.
Long Island, N.Y., is the other
heart of lacrosse Yankee. Nuff
said.
So why don't Southerners play?
A reliable source tells me it's because
we don't have any "lacrosse groupies"
down here, which is apparently the
only reason those Yankee boys pick
up sticks in the first place.
To a Southerner, lacrosse looks
like a bunch of guys going to catch
killer butterflies Yep, they carry
around sticks that resemble butterfly
nets, particularly the goalie stick,
which looks like it could snag
Mothra. And they wear a lot of
padding, which looks like they expect
the butterflies to be carrying Louis-
ville Sluggers.
Lacrosse is a very skilled game
They just make it look easy, but in
reality, it's one of the toughest games
to learn. Don't believe me? Just pick
up a stick one day and try to throw
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John Bland
Staff Writer
with it. YouH look like a fisherman
who's hooked himself in the seat of '
his pants while trying to cast. And
the ball will go straight down, no
matter how much you try to aim up.
Trust me.
Lacrosse is a little like soccer, too
In both sports, the players wear
shorts, they run around a field
chasing a ball, they score goals, they
have goalies, but in lacrosse, they
have weapons.
About those weapons . .
Lacrosse sticks range in length' from
30 inches for a normal attack stick
to around 60 for a defense stick. They
are made out of either aluminum,
graphite or wood. Wooden defense
sticks weigh about as much as the
defensemen themselves. Graphite
attack sticks weigh about .27 ounces.
With these sticks, players can beat
the hell out of each other. They're
supposed to be aiming for each
other's sticks, but, well, sometimes
they miss. Most of the time they miss.
. They use the sticks for other things,
though They carry a ball with
them, throw with them, catch with
them, scoop with them and score
goals with them. They throw over-
the-shoulder, sidearm, underhand.
And those shots come in fast. Jim
Brown, the football legend who
played lacrosse on the side while at
Syracuse, could score goals with one
hand from midfield.
Those sticks ain't the only weapons
As in football, bodies can also be
used to beat the living pulp out of
one another A general rule is -that
a player can hit another player within
five yards of the ball. This means that
a 6-6 defenseman can turn a 5-6
attackman into something flatter
than a Del Taco tortilla when they're
both going for a ground ball. Yeah,
I know, and life ain't fair either.
However, Ninja warriors or pro
wrestlers need not apply As in
hockey, players who get a little, shall
we say, overenthusiastic with their
weapons are penalized anywhere
from 30 seconds to a minute and a
half.
What do they protect themselves
with? A whole lotta foam rubber.
Players wear a helmet, which looks
like a cross between a batting helmet
and a chicken-wire fence; arm pads,
which protect the elbows and fore-
arms; gloves, which look like a pair
of Isotoners that got in a fight with
helium; and shoulder pads, which
prevent players from chopping off
.each other's arms.
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DTH David Minton
Lacrosse is a game which provides its participants the unique opportunity to brandish long sticks
"This ain't no Dixie cup, and you
sure dont want to be drinking out
of it . . In lacrosse, shots can
travel up to around 110 mph from
a couple of yards out. Therefore,
goalies are either crazy or stupid. The
only additional pieces of equipment
they wear are a foam rubber chest
protector and a cup. Or two.
Lacrosse goalies are paranoid
As in hockey, the playing area
extends behind the goal.
What are those things I mentioned
at the top of this story? Let's see,
the crease is the circle around the
goal. No offensive player can enter
it. A "long stick middie" is a mid
fielder who uses a defense stick,
primarily in penalty
situations. A
clear, named
"Gilman" is a' goalie
after the Gilman School m Baltimore
(where most lax players come from),
in which the goalie hurls the ball all
the way down the field, usually
shouting "Gilman!" at the top of his
lungs.
Lacrosse is the fastest game on foot
Which is another reason it hasn't
caught on down here. We Sou
therners tend to like our sports a little
slower, like golf, or baseball, or
tractor pulls. "But what about bas-
ketball?" you ask. Hell, if the NCAA
hadn't put in the 45-second shot
clock, Dean would still be using the
Four Corners, and we all know how
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slow that was.
Another reason lacrosse might not
catch on down here is because we
would have to admit that we actually
like doing something Yankees do.
Think about this: If it wasnt for
lacrosse, there probably wouldnl be
any Yankees on this campus. Oh,
well, 1 guess some things are worth
bearing.
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Directions:
From NC 54 ByPass take
Jones Ferry Rd. to Old
Greensboro Rd. 12.5
miles to NC 87. Turn right
onNC 87 (north) for 9
miles to blinking light.
Turn right for 1.2 miles on
Boywood Rd. to sign.
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