4DTHOmnibusThursday, March 9, 1989
MTV
By WINSTON LLOYD
StaffWriter
Whatever you think of the
music, you must admit that Music
Television is doing something
interesting. Critics usually point to
"Moonlighting" or "The Wonder
Years" when they talk of noncon
ventional television, but the most
abstract and avant-garde TV is on
cable - specifically MTV.
MTV began back in 1981.
Remember Adam Ant and Hock of
Seagulls? Yes, some of what they
started with is long gone, while
other groups have flourished
under the power of MTV. Years
ago MTV could give unknown
bands an audience. It was the place
to go for alternative music When
you were tired of the radio, you
turned on MTV.
To its credit, MTV was respon
sible for the early success of
Madonna, Duran Duran and, to
some extent, the Talking Heads.
But now, the cable channel seems
to merely complement the tunes
already well known from G-1 05.
During its existence, MTV has
added new programs to its lineup
and is no longer a visual radio
statioa The earliest attempt at
disproving the notion that MTV
was just visual radio was MTV
Music News. In a program consist
ing of a few minutes every hour
or half hour, a video jockey
announced the latest concert or
recording information. Movie
news was later added. Now the
news briefs are anchored by Rol
ling Stone writer Kurt Loder. All
stories are put together for the
Wisdom; Joe Bob and
By JOE C03 CRIGCS
Syndicated Columnist
If s a horrible thing to behold
when your best friend keels over
on the sidewalk, grabs his stomach
and screams out "Betty-Ford me!
Betty-Ford me!" But, unfortu
nately, we live today in an addic
tive society where these scenes
are all too common, especially at
the corner of Elm and Akard in
downtown Dallas. I'd advise you to
avoid that area. It doesnt have to
happen to you, though. You can
save your friends from suddenly
flopping around on their stomachs
like headless gators, frothing at
the mouth and screaming out
Judas Priest lyrics. You can be alert
to the telltale Signs of Addiction.
Have you or a loved one done
any of the following things? If so,
you might have a junkie in your
house.
1 . Your teenage daughter hasnt
eaten solid food in three weeks
and hasnt slept in six. She insists
she's "just dieting and studying for
a midterm."
2. Every time you pass a bar,
your co-worker wants to stop in
because "I love peanuts in a plastic
bowl."
. , , 3. ,YQur. wife .is. convinced. the
veemettfary;4ch pyK6UX&)rl
s innovations s
half-hour program "The Week in
Rock," which airs several times
during the weekend. Expect a lot
about Bon Jovi on this show.
The network has relegated its
alternative, experimental non
mainstream music to a mere "120
Minutes" a week, late on Sunday
nights. Here you find everything
from The Dead Milkmen to R.E.M.
And you can find the "classic"
videos from MTV's early years on
weeknights at 12:30 am, on "Deja
Video" with VJ Martha Quinn.
Remember Big Country and The
Human League?
Thursdays at 7:30 p.m. is "The
Big Picture" hosted by "Premiere"
editor Chris Connelly ail the
movie news in 30 minutes. And the
weekend brings "The MTV Top 20
Video Countdown." Expect more
Bon Jovi.
Then it gets weird.
"Remote Control" is the net
work's version of a game show.
Contestants, usually college stu
dents, are strapped into recliners
and answer questions about tel
evision or music A typical cate
gory is "Brady Physics." For exam
ple, if Cindy and a bowling ball are
dropped from the top of the
World Trade Center, which will hit
the ground first? Another is "Dead
or Canadian." Contestants are
given a name and must decide if
the person is dead or from Canada.
There is no loss of points for wrong
answers, thus adding to the fun.
Some of MTV's best shorts are
the 30-second commercials for
MTV itself. Probably the best of
these short films is the series "That
tract out on her.
4. Six guys come up to you after
church and say, "Will you be
bringing your wife to any more
parties?"
5. Your best friend tells you he
has a computer program that's
figured out what the point spread
should be on the 1992 Super Bowl.
6. The same best friend asks you
to loan him $74,000 - "just till next
Thursday."
7. When you take your secretary
to Denny's, her only decision is
whether to order from the left
side or the right side of the menu.
Later, she orders the Nacho Plate
"for the road."
8. A female co-worker orders
"The Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker
Story" to read on her coffee break,
and starts talking about how
"mean" you are because "I don't
think Tammy looks that bad, when
you see her in the right light."
9. Someone you dated three
months ago calls to ask "Did I leave
my car over there?"
10. when the cop asks "Do you
know why I pulled you over?" you
answer "You're depressed and you
needed to talk to somebody."
. r At When the cop asks. "Do you
tifled by
Was a 's Life." in these
computer-animated shorts, we
see life from the point of view of
an animal. The film ends with the
death of the animal, followed by
laughter and the logo.
Then there are the regular MTV
commercials. One from the past
went something like this: Amidst
scenes of Mayan ruins the voice
over says, "The Mayans had the
greatest civilization known to
man. But they had no MTV ... and
they died. Dont let this happen to
your family." A classic
Now they have equally interest
ing commercials. One fills the four
corners of the screen- with the
names of various world cities. In
each corner the city is written in
T different language. After flash
ing several names and playing
sound typical from the city (i.e.
gunfire for Beirut) you get the
words "ONE TIME" "ONE PLACE"
"ONE WORLD" and the MTV logo.
Then there are the commercials
with the MTV symbol fighting its
way down a corridor, reminiscent
of "Altered States" or the one full
of hellish claymation figures and
a tentacled, breathing MTV logo.
Some are sick, but all are
interesting.
How about the videos them
selves? We used to get perfor
mance videos (Springsteen), sexy
girl videos (ZZ Top), and exotic
location videos (Duran Duran). Now
we seem to have nothing but
pseudo-intellectual black-and-white
videos. Everyone's doing
them, it seems it started with the
Police's "Every Breath You Take,"
addiction
answer "No, my radio only gets
AM."
12. When the cop asks "Do you
know why I pulled you over?" you
answer "I'm pulled over?"
13. When the cop asks "Do you
know why I pulled you over?" you
answer "Does this count on the
final?"
14. Your friend tells you he's
licked his drinking problem because
he figured out "it's that twelfth
Scotch that does it - I'm stopping
at eleven tonight."
15. Later that night, the same
friend says, "I know, I know - it's
the twelfth one, but who said I
can't get drunk once every day or
so?"
16. One morning a co-worker
says he's found a new drug that
is absolutely non-addictive. Later
that day he tells you that some
time during the night he lost his
ability to operate a Coke machine.
17. A co-worker is reading this
column over your shoulder and
laughing too hard.
18. A co-worker is reading this
column over your shoulder and
saying "I dont know what he
means."
19. A co-worker is reading this
" cdurnn tjver your shoulder and
commercialism
but now if a band wants to look
serious, reflective, brooding or
epic, they ditch the Fujicolor and
load up the black and white. Bon
Jovi, Metallica, Lou Reed, Guns N'
Roses, U2 . . . everyone is using it.
You may also have noticed the
prevalence of heavy metal acts.
That is pretty much their format
these days. It is kind of disconcert- -ing
to see R.E.M. sandwiched
between Europe and White Lion.
There's a show called "Head
bangers Ball," which has so many
metal acts it looks like "Satan
Comes To TV." it's a shame they
dont keep much of the metal
confined to that show.
it also seems that videos have
gotten into a rut They often have
the same lighting, the same
camera angles or even the same
"experimental" types, of shots.
Only when the images are put
together to convey a certain
feeling does the video work. For
instance, Def Leppard's "Rocket" is
cluttered with televisions showing
footage of Nixon, headlines and
the space program. These are
integrated with shots of the band
General College
By ANDREW LAWLER
Staff writer
The first new show of the
National College Television
(NCTV) generation premiered
this week, and here's a peek at
the spicy goings-on. Reconcilia
tions abounded this week.
Lisa and Joseph flew off to
Nashville to find the truth
about Sarah.
Billy finally admitted his love
for Paige. Big kiss. Billy goes off
to break up with Trisha and
inadvertently reminds her of
her plans for revenge on Alex
and Jack.
That other Davenport, drug
dealer Tessa (sporting a new
. "do"), forced Trevor and Anne
: into the woods at gunpoint.
Trevor admits he was going to
betray Tessa because he loves
Anne. Trevor makes a grab for
the gun and in the ensuing
struggle is shot. Anne tries to
flee the scene but trips and hits
her head on a rock.
Waking with amnesia, Anne is
convinced by Tessa that she
killed Trevor. Tessa further
convinces her not to go to the
police, leaving Anne no chance
but to rely on the person who
hates her the most TESSA.
Courtney gets grabbed by
Randy, who warns that her
estranged love, Jason, is about
to get beat up again by the Tri
Psi's. Unbeknownst to them,
Darrell, Courtney's ex-fiance
and current football star, hears
all. Darrell and his teammate
Doug go to confront the Tri
Psi's, Ed and Mark.
in reality, Ed and Mark had
planned to beat up Courtney in
front of Jason and were wait
ing to snatch. her. But the
which would seem formulaic but
the camera movement creates
more of a feeling for the song and
stimulates you to think about the
visuals. However, R.E.M.'s "Stand"
seems to be just images slapped
together, no matter how differ
ent they may be or whatever
worldwide importance they try to
convey. "Stand" is very unlike the
overlapping and apocalyptic visu
als in "The One Love," which
helped give the song the "brutal"
feeling that Michael Stipe
intended.
Everything on MTV could be
experimental, visually fascinating
and thought provoking, but some
bands unfortunately use videos
simply as commercials for them
selves. Not everything can be as
creative as "They Might Be Giants"
and "Ana Ng" or as interesting as
Michael Jackson's "Man in the
Mirror." But if you're going to
spend any time with MTV, be
prepared for a lot of boring stuff
in between the too few moments
of creativity. And watch the
commercials - they are often
better than the videos.
appearance of the football
players changes things. Proving
that racists really are incrediblY
stupid, the slight Mark takes a
poke at Darrell. Doug and Darrell
begin to disassemble Ed's and
Mark's bodies when Courtney
arrives and stops the fight.
A stunned Mark asks why
Courtney saves them after ail
they've done. The response?
"You're still a person," she says.
Brendan awakes to find Mary
Catherine gone. He finds a note
from her saying that she loves
him, but needs time to think
about everything. Brendan is
bummed.
" Alex discovers that she has
not missed Jack after all. He
gets off the plane and rushes
to her. He abandons his record
ing contract to stay with her.
Reconciliation.
Meg learns from nurse Rabi
nowitz that Kyle's stomach was
pumped in time to save him
from his overdose of sleeping
pills.
Courtney thanks Darrell for
what he has done and finally
gets back with Jason. Love
conquers all. BIG kiss. The happy
couple wanders off and just
happen to trip over Trevor's
body just as their old friend
Detective Hooper arrives to
investigate the shooting.
Hooper begins to arrest the
two for the shooting when
Jason yells "Run!" which they do.
Will Anne realize the truth?.
Will Trisha get her revenge? Will
Courtney and Jason ever get a
moment of peace? And just
what is the truth about Sarah?
The answers to these questions
and many others may be ans
wered in next week's episode
of the world's only nationally
broadcast, totally student prp--diiced
soap; GENERAL COLLEGE! "