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The Daily Tar HeelTuesday, October 17, 19899 Sports Fire Mack? C'mon. get No matter how you look at it, the 1989 North Carolina football team is just plain terrible. The Virginia massacre (50-17), coupled with losses to pathetic Navy and Wake Forest squads, attests to that. I could write a lot about what's wrong with the Tar Heels (I usually do). But you're tired of reading about it, the team is tired of hearing about it and, heck, I'm tired of writing about it. Everyone associated with UNC foot ball has been lost in the realm of Satur day Night Dead for the past five weeks. So, instead, it's time to take a step back and look at as A. Whitney Brown of Saturday Night Live would say The Big Picture. The Big Picture means forgetting, for a moment, where the football program is and focusing on where it is going. That's a tough thing to do, I know. But I'm hearing whispers and ques tions about UNC head coach Mack Brown's job security, or lack thereof. And the entire concept is completely ridiculous. If the Tar Heels are 1-10, or even 5- 6, three years from now, it's time to take a very, very close look at Brown's and UNC's future together or not. But right now? No way. Ed. Note: Yes, this is the same Dave Glenn who gets boxes of hate mail Football must put O and D together By SCOTT GOLD Staff Writer Well, somebody has to finish last. Before Saturday, out of the 109 Division I football teams housed by the NCAA, you'll never guess who was last dead last, mind you in yards per pass attempt. Here's a slight addition: Out of those 1 09, about 40 percent of them had better rushing averages than this mystery team claimed as its passing average slightly more than four yards per at tempt. That same team was completing 25 percent of its passes, which, coinci dentally, did not rank them last in that category. They were 104th. That's right, all of you fans with Carolina blue tears still streaming down your face after the jarring 50-17 loss to Virginia, just to add to your misery, UNC was that team. In the past two seasons, in which the Tar Heels have racked up 18 losses in 20 games, it has become somewhat of a standard for North Carolina football to attempt to win games without an of fense. The team has learned the hard way that while it's great to hold your opposition to sub-standard attacks, once in a while it greatly behooves you to score. North Carolina' s defense this season has been the savior of respectability. In the first five games of the season, oppo nents' total yards have decreased since 1988 from 2,404 to 1,838, and first downs have been cut from 1 13 to 99. In losses to Kentucky, Navy and Wake Forest, the Tar Heel defense has been downright miserly, allotting only 13 points to the Wildcats, 12 points to the Midshipmen and 17 to the Deacons. North Carolina ranks 17th in passing defense and 31st in scoring defense in the NCAA. Giving up 42 points in three games? Fourteen points a game? For a team with any sort of scoring ability, that would equal three notches in the win column. Unfortunately, to match those 42 points allowed, UNC offered up a total of 29. Three wins? See ya. Three losses. To the surprise of many, during this weekend's slaughter, UNC's offense produced some numbers that had to be considered non-high-schoolish. The Tar Heels rambled for 154 yards on the ground, led by Aaron Staples' 65. Why Not Own Where You Live While At UNC? Your parents will appreciate the return on this leveraged investment and the tax advantages... You'll love the place and where it is. ByFinleyGolf Course. ...is 5 minutes from campus. From the 60's Less than 5 down Below market fixed rates New- not a conversion Guaranteed buyback Come see the award winning models, clubhouse, spa, pool and tennis courts and get eye-opening facts and figures to send your folks. Call 967-6076 Open 11-6 Daily Urban Associates of North Carolina Sale by: Cochrane & Company, Realtors fJi Dave : ( l1 Glenn A : ) Sports Editor I : rr because he "criticizes UNC sports too much." We woke him up in the middle of the night Monday just to make sure that this was, indeed, his column. He mumbled something about "changing Carolina's uniforms to silver and black" and assured us that this is, in deed, his column. OurDTH doctors are investigating. It is completely premature to call for Brown's head now or even at the end of the season whatever your opinion of his coaching ability. The reason is simple. Take away the players Brown has recruited in his two years at UNC and you are left with the following: one All-" America candidate (Pat Crowley), four impact players (Michael Benefield, Torin Dom, Cecil Gray, Scott McAlis ter), and five or six other quality role players. By comparison, Virginia's starting Michael Benefield was on his way to posting big-time numbers when he re injured his shoulder late in the second half and was forced to the sidelines. But hold on to your hats Jon athan Hall, chief of the invisible of fense, completed 16 of 28 tosses for 205 yards, more than doubling his normal passing totals. Passing yards made up more than half of North Carolina's total offense of 359 yards? Out of hand. Let's do some figuring. If the aver age scoring drive covers approximately 70 yards, then 359 total yards means about five touchdowns should be scored if everything goes well. The four turn-, overs the Tar Heels had in the game obviously detracted from that number, but 20 points were still produced. Now, match that 20 points with the average points allowed by the defense, and you've got yourself a ballgame, right? Wrong. Apparently the defense, seeing that the offense had finally come into town, checked out for the day. All told, the Cavaliers totaled 513 yards and averaged 6.4 yards every time they touched the ball. This one doesn't take any figuring. "Defensively, we tackled very poorly," Brown said. "That was the worst defense we played all year. We had to play our best to beat a team like Virginia." Maybe, just maybe, if UNC figures out how to have both offense and de fense in attendance at the same time, a radical concept in itself, they might be able to squeak out a couple wins. Which at this point may be even more of a radical concept. How're you "This is spins to be a bnieze, Great back-to-school prices on PS2 s. Just in time. You can pick up an IBM Personal System2 with easy-to-use software loaded and ready to go. And best of all, you get it at a special low back-to - school price. ' And that's not all. When you buy the PS2, you can get a great low price on PRODIGY the exciting new shopping, information and entertainment computer service. Start this semester up and running with a PS2 at a low, low price? Now, special low prices on three models of IBM Proprinters, too. See the IBM PS2 at Student Stores Microsoft Word and Excel are the Academic Editions. This offer is limited to qualified students, faculty and staff who order an IBM PS2 Model 8530-E21, 8550-031 or 8555-061 on or before October 31. 1989. Prices qudted do not include sales tax. handling andor processing charges. Check with your institution regarding these charges. Orders are subject to availability. IBM may withdraw the promotion at any time without written notice. : BM. Personal System2 and PS2 are registered trademarks, and Proprinter and Micro Channel are trademarks, of International Business Machines Corporation. Microsoft is a registered trademark of Microsoft Corporation. hDC Windows Express. hDC Windows Manager and hDC Windows Cokx are trademarks of hDC Computer Corporation. 80386SX is a trademark of Intel Corporation. PRODIGY is a registered trademark of Prodigy Services Company, a partnership of BM and Sears' BM Corp. 1989 lineup going into 1989 included 18 (of 22) players who started in 1988. Of the juniors and seniors, at least nine could be considered impact players, with another 10 or 1 1 fitting into the "quality role player" category. That's a total of 20 experienced players for the Cavs to rely on, compared to only 1 0 for Brown. Try winning a few games with those odds stacked against you. The bottom line is that you can't hold Brown responsible for the horren dous recruiting record of former UNC coach Dick Crum in his final years. If you're thinking of taking a shot at Brown (or if you already have), look at the freshmen and sophomores on UNC, Virginia or any other ACC team. The Tar Heel fountain of youth has produced Eric Blount, Chuckie Burnette, Randall Felton, Dwight Hol lier, Doxie Jordan, Cookie Massey , Alec Millen, Tommy Thigpen and Julius Reese all Brown recruits, save Hol lier and Jordan. All nine have shown every indica tion that they will be (some are already) top-of-the-line performers for UNC in years to come. Each player has All ACC potential; these are the kind of guys you can build a program around. Other names to file away for the rest of this season and the not-so-distant future: Bucky Brooks, Corey Holliday, Rondell Jones, Jonathan Perry and Rickie Shaw. What could go wrong? Well, if Brown doesn't corral some big guys offensive and defensive linemen in the next few years, he (not to mention his quarterbacks, running backs, etc.) could be running for his life. Baseball As I sat in my (yawn) psych class the other day, my mind started wandering. What ever happened to all those base ball players from the '70s whose base ball cards I so carefreely traded? (I know, I know carefreely is not an ad verb, Mom). Hmmm . . . then I remembered something. A lot of those guys had stupid names nifty monickers like Barry Foote, Andy Etchebarren or Ross Grimsley (what an ugly mug that guy had). Unfortunately, most of you proba bly have memories that only go back to the early '80s with players like Razor Shines, B ump Wills or even (ugh) Mike Lemongello. But I hope that some of you remem ber when baseball was fun: 1975-1979. The Reds, Yanks and Bucs won the World Series. I was in the midst of elementary school. Yes, if I had been a little cooler and hadn't wasted time trading baseball cards, perhaps the damn Wonder Years would have been mod eled after my life instead of that obnox ious litt but I digress. Anyway, in the midst of that nostal gic revelation, I got an idea. It was a romantic idea, a sensitive idea . . . OK, it was a stupid idea. I decided to com pile my 1975-79 Major League Base ball Great-Name All-Star Team. I guess classes are pretty boring these days. The rules are simple: A) All people named "Doc" (Doc Ellis, Doc Edwards, Doc Medich, Doc Severenson) are omitted. I hated all those guys. B) Names did not have to be weird or foreign, just interesting. What follows is my dream team. I'll list my favorite name at each going to do it? S -rs-r. I s i S - si ft.. I 8 111 u B h i1 ... . . c : ... jf is wt t .-. n . u .v .-, rt . . u r hm Compiiteirs serious It's one thing to lose. The Tar Heels have to be getting used to that by now. But to get stomped, trounced, thrashed and otherwise mutilated and then hear the opposing coach talk about how easy it was well, that has to really, really hurt. Yet "easy" is one of the words Vir ginia head coach George Welsh used in a moment of glory after his Cavaliers bombed UNC to hand him his 100th career victory. To make matters worse for the UNC coaching staff, Welsh said that his Virginia teams had never won a foot ball game that came on the Saturday after midterm exams (which was the case this weekend). Brown must have cringed when he heard that. Thanks, George, could you possibly twist that knife a few more times? Heck, if coaching is such a close fraternity (as they say), who needs brothers? Senior quarterback Jonathan Hall has the latest entry in the now-famous Where Do We Go From Here Dept.: "I've been to too many practices, too many early workouts, too many winter workouts, run too many sprints and lifted too many weights to give up now, and I think the rest of the team is the same way." Until next week, may your flags burn, may your stock market rebound, and may you beat your exams with a goal in sudden-death overtime. Ciao. names: Biff, Bake & Cookie Andy Podolsky Asst. Sports Editor position, followed by a list of a few backups. Catcher Biff Pocoroba, Atlanta Braves. The name pretty much speaks for itself. Pocoroba? Bad enough. But Biff? Bifp. BIFF? You have to ask yourself a simple question: If your last name was Pocoroba, would you name your child Biff? Bill? Yes. Biff? No. Backups Johnny Wockenfuss (Tigers), Steve Swisher (Cubs). 1st Base Boog Powell, Cleveland Indians. My fondest baseball memory: Cleveland Municipal Stadium, 1976, Indians vs. White Sox. Chicago led 4 2 with two out in the bottom of the ninth, Indians on second and third. B oog Powell steps up and 32,000 sweaty, drunk iron workers (God love 'em) stand and yell "Boooooooooog." It was more than this eight-year-old could take. The home town fans were booing their favorite player or so I thought (Clevelanders are weird but not that weird. God love 4 em). Powell hit a tape-measure home run and the Indians won. Baseball was never the same for me. Backups Mike (I'm so Glum) Lum (Reds), Rusty Staub (Tigers, Expos). 2nd Base Cookie Rojas, Kansas City Royals. Call me a nut, but ol' Cookie always sounded like he should be a sloppin' burgers on the range in a it! ft e& Women's soccer set for Methodist SCOTT GOLD Staff Writer After 85 consecutive games with out a loss, the North Carolina women's soccer team has to come up with some interesting ways to keep their heads in the game. This time, though, regardless of the fact that the team is playing Methodist College (from Fayettev ille haven o' the soccer world), the motivations are obvious. For the seniors on the team, today's game represents an unprece dented first. In the last four years actually, in the history of UNC women's soccer home really has been sweet home. The Tar Heels have never lost a match in Chapel Hill. Today's game marks the begin ning of the end of a number of illus trious careers. The seniors on this year's squad represent the core of the team: the leaders, the role models (and the candlestick makers). Methodist is the last team to beat the Tar Heels since the 1985 NCAA championship match. Sure, it was in the off-season. For fun. Off the rec ord. An experience game. It might have been like letting your two-year-old brother beat you in basketball, but there is some revenge factor here. "They beat us last spring in an offseason tournament," senior Julie Guamotta said. "We haven't forgot ten it. They're not one of our tough spaghetti western rather than scooping up grounders in the Midwest. Backups Tito Fuentes (Padres), Felix Millan (N.Y. Mets), Rennie Sten nett (Pirates). 3rd Base Rico Petrocelli, Boston Red Sox. His names sounds like either a Italian Dish (like RRRRico Fettuc ini), or a Guatemalan hit man for a cocaine cartel. Backup Jesus Alou (Mets, As tros), Sal Bando (A's), Shortstop Ivan DeJesus, Cubs. The only reason I remember Ivan's name is that I got his card in every baseball card pack I ever bought. Every damn one. I'm not kidding. I once traded 14 DeJesus cards for one Randy Lerch. I used to sift through my newly ac quired cards saying "Schmidt . . . Luz inski, Bench and De JESUS! ! ! !" By the way, I didn't say that so it sounds like "Heysus." Backups Buddy Biancalana (K.C.), Ranee Mulliniks (a bunch o' teams). Outfield Bake McBride (Cardi nals, Phillies), SixtoLezcano (Brewers), Oscar Gamble (Yankees). Bake. For get it, I could go on forever. Sixto Lezcano, with his brothers Sevento, Eighto and Nineto. Maybe he was born with a physical deformity and was ac tually named "Six Toe." Or not. Oscar Gamble was the best. When I was nine, my best friend and I laughed ourselves into oblivion one day when I said "I have three Oscar Gambles." My dad overheard Us and said sternly from behind the newspaper "I don't care which one your friends gambles, you're HWjHIl 1111 I II I II . ' ill n nK n i r v im-'- '-liMMlri wmsw. auMk ::: Ask to speak to the IBM Collegiate representative or call 1-800-662-8790, ext. 7966 games, but it's an important game to win. We have a lot of games coming up so we need this one." Today's game will give fervent North Carolina fans a preview of coach Anson Dorrance's new rota tion plan to keep the offensive attack fresh in preparation for the upcom ing ACC and NCAA tournament. The starters will remain constant, with Guarnotta, Mia Hamm, Chris Lilly and Pam Kalinoski going up front. A rotation will begin, how ever, shortly after kickoff . Fresh legs will be brought in, attached, of course, to the bodies of Rita Tower, Louellen Poore and Chris Huston. Regardless of the excitement caused by new game plans, last home games, streaks and candlestick makers, it still must be hard to get "up" for a game of this nature. The players can insist until the day they lose that they take each game as it comes, and that each game is impor tant, but the truth is that UNC will win today, probably quite handily. "I think this win is expected by other people," Guarnotta said. "But not by our team we're not like that. We don't even think about the streak. I don't even know how many we've run up by now. We know Methodist will be up for this game. That's how we get up for each game. So we know they're going to be 100 percent into it but there's a lot of morale on our team, too." too young to lose money." Then he peered around the paper and said "Where are you two rug rats getting all this money for gambling anyway? Drugs?" We howled in laughter. Back-ups Omar Moreno (Pirates), Rowland Office (Braves), Rico Carty (Indians), Bernie Carbo (Red Sox). Starting Pitchers Moose Haas, Brewers, and Bob Moose, Pirates. Why not have a starter named Moose Moose? Or Elk Stevens? or Antelope Jones? Geez. Others in the rotation: Vida Blue (A's), Don Hood (Indians) and Ed Figueroa (Yankees). Relief Pitchers Rollie Fingers (A's). Maybe he wanted to be named after the North Carolina state capital. Ahhh, I see now, that should read Raleigh Fingers. Nah, Rollie wasn't that smart. This guy belongs on Super Mario Brothers with that greased-up handlebar mustache. Coming on in relief Pedro Bor bon (Reds), Dick Drago (Red Sox), Enrique Romo (Pirates). So, there it is. If you have any addi tions or a reason to think that I may have drooled on your psych book when I was asleep in class last week, write me a letter. Oh, and include your name. We're in the midst of compiling an All-Time Stupid Names of People Who Write DTH Letters to the Sports Editor list. Hey, with a name like Pudo- Padals Podolski, wait (cough, clear you're throat) Podolsky, you've got to have a sense of humor about these types of things. PS2 Model 30 286-lMb memory, 80286 (10 MHz) pro cessor, one 3.5 diskette drive (1.44Mb), 20Mb fixed disk drive, IBM Mouse, 8513 Color Display, DOS 4.0, Microsoft Windows286, Word 5.0 hDC Windows Express" hDG Windows Manager" and hDC Windows Color" $g 34 J) PS2 Model 50 Z-IMb mem ory, 80286 (10 MHz) processor, one 3.5" diskette drive (1.44Mb), 30Mb fixed disk drive, Micro Channel" architecture, IBM Mouse, 8513 Color Display, DOS 4.0, Microsoft Windows286, Word 5.0 Excel hDC Windows Express, hDC Windows Manager and hDC Windows Color $2,840 PS2 Model 55 SX-2Mb memory, 80386SX" (16 MHz) processor, one 3.5" diskette drive (1.44Mb), 60Mb fixed disk drive, Micro Channel architecture, IBM Mouse, 8513 Color Display, DOS 4.0, Microsoft Windows386, Word 5.0 Excel hDC Windows Express, hDC Windows Manager and hDC Windows Color $gfjz)
Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
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Oct. 17, 1989, edition 1
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