DTH Omnibus Page 7
Thursday November 15, 1990
Chuckster's back, but we
Child's Play 2
Alex Vincent and Christine Elise
directed by John Lafia
Ram Triple
967-8284
OP
ou can't build a good film
series on a villain.
Child's Play 2 proves this
point yet again.
Yeh, yeh, yeh, 1 know that
series such as Nightmare on Elm Street,
Friday the 13 th, and Jaws have spawned
numerous sequels and have made tons
of money for their money-hungry
producers who don't care what kind
of garbage they unleash on an unsus
pecting public. But the sequels have
never lived up to the quality of the
originals, and the movies usually get
The Tm
Steel and Lace
David Naughton, Stacy Haiduk,
Bruce Davison and Clare Wren
directed by Ernest Farino
he economy must be im
proving. After seven years of
unemployment, my cousin
Cletis Tankersley finally got
a iob. We told him to never
give up, even after that humiliating
week when the Welfare Department
gave him a gold I.D. card. One case
worker got so sick of looking at Cletis's
face that she would declare triple
stamp week if he would take all his
food stamps at once and not come
back for three weeks.
But that's all over now. After be
ing turned down for employment by
every corporation in Texas and every
government agency, including the
Army, Cletis finally found a place
that would take him:
The Internal Revenue Service.
Cletis is a tax collector excuse
me, an "assistant revenue agent."They
must have seen something truly re
markable is Cletis's personality to let
him talk on the phone all day to
people who owe back taxes, specially
since nobody in our family can un
derstand Cletis when he talks.
Cletis loves the job, though, be
cause it requires no actual thought.
They give you a script to read over the
phone that goes like this:
"Are you Mrs. Helen Terwilliger?"
Then, if she is, you say:
"I'm Officer Tankersley of the In
ternal Revenue Service, and I'm
calling to collect the sum of $8,497 in
delinquent taxes."Then they ask what
"delinquent" means.
"That means you owe it," says
Cletis.
Mike Long
a
worse and more banal as the series
grow. The movies are just vehicles for
the villain, and the characters are
always generic boobs for the villain to
prey upon. If that's your idea of en
tertainment, be my guest. I like a
little originality in my films.
Granted, Chucky the knife
wielding, foul-mouthed doll is an in
teresting and compelling villain, but
he can't carry a series. The audience
needs characters it can identify with,
people that seem real. If you can
identify with a two-dimensional,
cardboard cutout of a character, seek
professional help.
Child's Play 2 picks up where the
original left off. Little Andv (Alex
Vincent) has been blamed for the
Joe Bob Briggs
This is the moment Cletis likes
the most. The person on the other
end of the phone either yells at him,
or says nothing, or starts crying.
"The ones that start crying are the
worst," Cletis told me.
"What do you say to em?"
"I tell em I have to put em on hold
till they stop crying."
"You put em on hold! ?"
"It seems to work out."
"What happens when they say they
don't owe the money?"
"1 say it don't mean diddley squat,
because they've already got letters,
they've already got notices, it's too
late to appeal they got to pay up."
"What happens when they call
you a scum-weasel?"
"That's the best part, Joe Bob. I get
to charge em with a crime."
"What?"
I'm a cop. I get to charge em with
threatening a government employee.
They can go to Big Tuna Prison for
that."
"And what if they're nice to you?"
"I try to get em to pay out about,
oh, three, four hundred a week, sell
their car, sell their stereo, stop going
out to restaurants, move into a cheaper
apartment."
"And what if they don't wanna do
that?"
"1 tell em I'm gonna call up their
boss and tell the boss to take it o.ut of
their paycheck."
"Can you do that?"
"Yep."
"Cletis, do you realize that three
weeks ago you were living in a card
board box, panhandling for quarters,
and now you have complete power
over people's lives?"
"Yep."
M
murders that Chuckv committed and
placed in an orphanage. His mother
is in the psycho ward. Chucky (who
died in the first one) is rebuilt by his
creators, Play Pals Toys, and brought
back to life. No explanation is given
for why the Chuckster is still kickin'.
Anyway, Andy is adopted by Phil
and Joanne Simpson (Gerrit Gra
ham and Jenny Agutter) and be
friended by the Simpson's other fos
ter child, Kyle (Christine Elise).
Meanwhile, Chucky kills two Play
Pals employees and comes after Andy.
In case, you're unfamiliar with the
first film, Chucky is really a mass
murderer who put his soul into a doll.
He needs to put his soul into Andy so
that he can be human again. If he
doesn't, he will be trapped in the doll.
The film then dissolves into a series
of people getting in Chucky's way
and Chucky killing them.
Seventv-five minutes into the
film, it gets good. By an incredible
"Do you ever ask yourself, 'Why is
this woman on the telephone crying
like that? What has happened in this
woman's life to bring her to this point?'
Do you ever ask yourself that?"
"Yep."
"And what's the answer?"
"She don't wanna pay the money.
That's why she's crying."
"And do you ever think about what
might happen when you start calling
up people's bosses and telling the boss
how much tax they owe?"
"Yep."
"What might happen?"
"The boss might fire em if they
don't pay up the money."
"Cletis, you ever heard of the
somebody having a real excuse why
they can't pay?"
"Yep."
"What is it?"
"They're dead."
The really strange thing is, Cletis
has been like this all his life. We just
never knew till now he was bom to
work for the government. Trust me, the
man'll be in Washington within two
years. We're all soooo proud of him.
Speaking of androids, Steeland Lace
is a new direct-to-video flick that
almost slipped by because the title's
so stinky you don't know what it's
about. But this is actually a killer
robot revenge flick about a blonde
transistor-head bimbo in a leather
mini-skirt who squeezes her thumbs
through one guy's neck, flings a nerd's
head through a twirling helicopter
blade, dri lis a hole the size of a bowling
ball through a man's chest while
kissing him, and plays classical piano
in her spare time.
The cops are baffled. Of course,
the main cop is David Naughton, the
"I'm a Pepper, You're a Pepper" guy,
and so the cops aren't hard to baffle.
Who can possibly stop this ultimate
singles-bar robot? (Her eyes say "Yes
yes yes," but her electrified steel-reinforced
arm says "Is that your intes
don't know why
twist of fate. Chuckv chases Andy
and Kyle into the Play Pals Toy fac
tory. The set is painted in bright reds,
blues, and greens. There are doll arms
and legs hanging everywhere. The
set seems like a madman's idea of a
toy factory. There is a great sus
penseful scene in which Chucky
chases Andy and Kyle through an
endless maze of identical doll boxes.
Unfortunately, the finale becomes
the usual "Chucky won't die, do 42
different things to stop him" cycle.
Too bad.
The highlight of the film is the
special effects: FX man Kevin Yagher
vastly improves on his work from the
original. The new Chucky can walk
out in the open (a little person was
used in the original) and his dialogue
(voice by Brad Dourif) is better
synched. Chucky can make more faces
and looks twice as mean. Yagher's
Chucky puppet is a wonderful
achievement and it is the best actor
guy
tine I'm feeling?") Only one person
can stop her Dav id N augh ton's ex
girlfriend, who had the good sense to
dump him. She figures out that all the
victims were involved in the same
rape trial five years before, and the
killer robot looks exactly like the rape
victim. Could there be a connection?
Naw, I can't give it away.
Two breasts. Nine dead bodies.
Mixmaster through the chest. Heads
roll. Kung Fu. Breast implant Fu.
Helicopter Fu. Drive-In Academy
Award nominations for Michael
Cerveris, as Danny the sleazeball real
estate tycoon, because when he's told
A Bakatsias Restaurant
LUNCH SENSATIONSC
Cheese Calzone $3.95
Pesto Pizza $3.85
Warm Smoked Turkey with caramelized onions
and Danish havarti cheese on sourdough bread $4.75
Cheese Tortellini with vegetables, tomato
cream, garlic and cracked pepper $5.75
Fettucini with fresh spring vegetables $4.75
Eggplant Pancakes with artichoke, spinach,
tomatoes, mushrooms, onions and feta cheese $4.65
Greek Country Salad with tomatoes, cucumbers,
peppers, red onions, white beans, calamata
oiives, anchovies and feta
vinaigrette
University Square 143
in the film, but it can't save the movie.
Director John Lafia co-wrote the
first Child's Play, and he admits that
he is influenced by the likes of Car
penter, Hitchcock, and Raimi. His
imitative style is obvious. He does a
good job of paying homage to these
masters, but he can't match the level
of suspense they can create. Hats off
to Alex Vincent, who once again
does a great job as the boy with the
killer doll who can't get any of those
close-minded adults to believe his
story.
Child's Play 2 is an unnecessary
sequel and never should have been
made. Chucky was a good, original
character, and we don't need a series
of second-rate movies to ruin his good
name. The special effects are great,
but the movie as a whole is boring.
Rent the first one if you want to see
Chucky in action or sneak in the
theater, and watch the last 1 5 minutes
of Child's Play 2.
his best friend is dead, he says "So is
Elvis what do you want me to do
about it?"; Stacy Haiduk, as the
amateur-detective ex-girlfriend
courtroom artist, for screaming "1
won't castrate my art!"; Bruce
Davison, as the maniac brother, for
saying "She was dead they were
alive it simply wasn't fair!"; Ernest
Farino, the director, an obviousdrivc
in talent; and Clare Wren, as the
killer robot, for saying "There's only
one safe place."
Four stars. Joe Bob says check it
out.
Want more? 1-900-4'JOEBOB.
3
cheese tossed in a
$5.25
,' fl.lt.l.''F-
W. Franklin St. 929-1 551