8The Daily Tar HeelFriday, January 1 7, 1992
Wye Wg aTar IM
98th year of editorial freedom
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Jennifer Wing, Editor
STEVE POLITI, University Editor
CULLEN FERGUSON, Editorial Page Editor
Nin. AMATO, Sports Editor
CHRISTINA NlFONG, Features Editor
ALEX De GRAND, Cartoon Editor
MlTCH Kokai, Copy Desk Editor
GRANT HalverSON, Photography Editor
Amber NlMOCKS, City Editor
Eric Lusk, State and National Editor
MONDY Lamb, Omnibus Editor
Jennifer Dickens, Layout Editor
JoANN RODAK, Managing Editor
AMY SEELEY, Copy Desk Editor
KATHY MlCHEL, Photography Editor
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In search of simpler government
Quick ... in what congressional district
do you live?
Yes, Dist. 4 is one answer. Maybe the
question wasn't clear enough.
In which Student Congress district do
you vote?
Not as easy, is it?
In fact, the average student probably has
no clue as to the district in which he lives.
A quick survey of The Daily Tar Heel
editorial board found each member equally
in the dark.
In the process of redrawing districts to
add off-campus representatives, Student
Congress on Monday night created a dis
trict for one graduate student to be elected
at large. This new district will serve as a
guinea pig to test the feasibility of electing
all of our representatives in an at-large
race.
A resolution for an at-large undergradu
ate seat also was proposed during the redis
tricting but was defeated. Some congress
members expressed concern about the dif
ficulties that might arise with each member
being elected by and representative of the
entire campus. In essence, instead of hav
ing numerous people serving strictly de
fined districts, Student Congress would
consist of a bunch of student body presi
dents trying to be sensitive to the needs
of every student.
This could pose a few problems, but the
benefits of an at-large Student Congress
would outweigh the drawbacks. The cam
pus is small enough that issues very rarely
come up based on geography. And because
areas do not compete with each other for
the resources of the University, it would be
possible for congress members to repre
sent the needs of the entire campus.
Under the present system, there are some
district seats in which no one seems to be
interested. And in many cases, people have
won a seat with just two or three votes
while at the same time candidates
Groping for some midnight grub
It's 3a.m.,and you've just finished study
ing seven hours of medieval history with
intermittent breaks of Math l,345,"Unreal
Planar Calculus with 10 Variables." You
have not eaten in eight hours, and the
growling from your stomach is louder than
the stereo. Every restaurant that delivers
closed at 2 o'clock, and your roommate
just polished off the last Oodles of Noodles.
The question is, "Where to eat?"
When Hector's burned down last spring,
Time-Out became the only 24-hour restau
rant in downtown Chapel Hill. Today, al
most a year later, Time-Out remains the
only 24-hour restaurant. Competition is
always beneficial and is, in this case, sorely
needed.
Without question there is an enormous
market for restaurants open 24 hours a day
in any community. Witness the success of
the Waffle House chain. This market is
exponentially increased in a college town
and especially in one such as Chapel Hill,
Editorial Policy
The Daily Tar Heel's editorials are approved
composed of the editor, editorial page editor and
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Editorial writers: David Etchlson, Adam Ford and Will Spears.
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The Dairy Tar Heel Is published by the DTH Publishing. Corp.. a non
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Campus mall address CM 5210 box 49. Carolina Unloa
running for a more highly contested seat
have received hundreds of votes and not
been elected. An at-large system could
eliminate this obvious paradox.
The new system would also allow off
campus undergrads, who outnumber those
living on campus 3-2, a chance at greater
representation. The same applies to gradu
ate students. We often forget that they pay
student fees, too.
The problem with at-large elections is
the voting itself. Students care little enough
about voting as it is. It's not likely that
anyone is interested enough to pick and
choose 27 different candidates. And once
the candidates are elected, students may
not know which representative to go to in
order to seek assistance.
This could be handled by creating three
large districts North, South and Off-
campus instead of the present 27 num
bered districts. Ask someone where they
live now, and they don't answer with a
number: They answer with an area.
Students already can identify with the
three suggested districts. And under the
suggested system, students would go to
any of the representatives from their re
spective areas to express whatever con
cerns they might have.
Having three large districts would not be
purely an at-large system, but it would
simplify the present system dramatically.
Students living in Morrison Residence Hall
could just as easily have their concerns met
by a represenutative from Hinton James;
there is no overriding need for numerous
districts to separate these dorms. No more
confusing numbers, no more empty seats
and a much more effective congress.
Unfortunately, bureaucracy seems to be
an integral part of government both in
the University and on a grander scale. That's
why Student Congress should take this
chance to cart away some of the mountains
of red tape.
which has more than 20,000 students.
Between the vast number of students
studying and the inconsequential number
of students partying, there are literally hun
dreds of hungry souls roaming through
Chapel Hill looking for
food in the wee hours of
the morning. Time-Out's
line extends out the door
on most nights, and that
is definitely not because
of the fine cuisine. Where
are the owners of Dunkin Donuts? Where
are the people from Waffle House?
The void created by Hector's absence
must be filled. Along with the new devel
opment planned on Franklin Street, an all
night eatery should be built. Another res
taurant open 24 hours a dqy would be a gold
mine for some lucky entrepreneur and a
boon for students looking for a late night
meal other than a chicken-and-cheese bis
cuit. by the majority of the editorial board, which is
four editorial writers.
Leah Richards and Jennifer Terry, representatives.Chai Campbell,
Arils. Marcie Bailev. Robert Lee Carson. Carrie Gradv. Anoela Grav.
and Ginger Wagoner, account executives; Mariea Miller, assistant
Anita Bentley and Lorrie Pate, assistants.
Jason Torchinsky.
Sheila Terrell.
- profit North Carolina corporation. Monday-Friday, according to the
962 - 1 1 63 between 8:30 a.m. and 5 o.m. Classified ads can be reached
104 Carolina Union
U.S. Mall address: P.O. Boi 3257. Chapel Hill, NC 27515-3257
Revolutionary
I haven't been sleeping well lately. My form
has been bad, I've got no style points, barely
any endurance. I just haven't been doing it
well. My mind's been like a trailer park in a
hurricane. I just can't seem to get to sleep. Not
like my friend Charles. He studied sleeping at
the Sorbonne. Majored in naps with a concen
tration in snoring. He sleeps like a pro. Almost
Olympic material.
Anyway, my somnial failings were bad
enough for me to go see our family doctor, a
certain Dr. L . It's pronounced
"Lhyphenhyphenhyphenhyphen." Best damn
veterinarian I know. He said that I obviously
had a bad case of insomnia, but it was only
because I hadn't been sleeping. There was
hope, though. He also said he had just been to
a weeklong symposium on sleep disorders in
Munich held at a Holiday Inn next to the facility
where the European Space Agency performs its
nightly rocket engine testing. He learned at this
conference a revolutionary new technique of
curing insomnia that he called "going to bed
when you're tired."
I was understandably skeptical of this proce
dure, as its confusing jargon was far beyond my
understanding. Still, after a few simple line
drawings by Dr. L demonstrated the pro
cess, I decided to give it a try. What the hell.
I tried it out last night, and, may science be
blessed to the limits of my credit rating, it
worked! I was asleep! And not just asleep:
asleep and dreaming. Now, my most beloved
readers, sit back, put your feet up on your
favorite dog, as I now submit the contents of my
dream:
I'm dining in a fine restaurant. But I'm not
alone. No, my partner for this meal is the great
scientist, Dr. Heimlich, inventorof the Heimlich
maneuver! Only in a dream could I hope to take
my sup and, of course, eat dinner with such a
great man of science as Dr. Heimlich! Dr.
Heimlich is quite old, as I believe he is in
reality, but, aside from being almost irretriev
ably senile, he still functions as though he were
25, when, I believe, he first went senile.
We order, and as usual, I order the Comish
game cows, which are like Cornish game hens,
but, as the name suggests, are tiny individual
cows that you just eat whole. Yum! The doctor.
I believe, had cream of leather soup. What are
you looking at? It 's a dream, remember? Sheez.
Anyway, Dr. Heimlich and I are enjoying our
meals and having a wonderful conversation.
The only bad part I remember is that every time
I stop talking for as much as a second or reach
to adjust my necktie, Dr. Heimlich bolts out of
his chair, grabs me in a powerful bear hug and
Some men also tight for
equality for women
To the editor:
Leah, women like you ('"Poor
excuse of a man' makes faulty ar
gument," Jan. IS) help men like
me become occasionally disgusted
with the whole issue of feminism
and gender equality. Your article
exhibits a primary reason why
equality between the sexes may
never occur: Your claims of moral,
spiritual and intellectual superior
ity, if anything, work completely
against the inequal ity you perceive.
Unfortunately, gender bias does
exist in the workplace and else
where, but only by working posi
tively toward its eradication can
we eliminate it. Comments and
philosophies such as yours accom
plish nothing but exacerbation of
the situation. Don't work against
yourself, Leah.
Like you, I believe my most
precious commodities are my in
tellect, spirit and soul; competence,
intelligence and open-mindedness
are the qualities I value and seek in
my friends and co-workers. These
are the only bases of my valuation
of others; it matters not what skin
color, genitalia and religious or
sexual preference they are or have.
I admit I do often have conflicts
of opinion with others (as here, for
example), but I do not try to de
nounce categorically their valid.
logical opinions and close out their
point of view, as you seem to have
dream lost in pencil ponderings
Jason Torchinsky
Turn Your Head
and Cough
starts ramming his fist up underneath my dia
phragm, crushing some ribs and invariably
making me hack up whatever it was I was trying
to eat, such as some lettuce or a napkin or
something.
But here's the really good part. Dr. Heimlich,
warming up to me, reveals what he has been up
to since the Heimlich maneuver made him
famous. Apparently, the Heimlich maneuver as
we know it today, though effective, is incom
plete. You see, Dr. Heimlich realized its limita
tions early on and always planned to deal with
them. The basic problem, as related to me by
this brilliant man of science, is as follows: In the
standard Heimlich maneuver, the choking vic
tim is saved from almost certain death, but the
food clump upon which the victim was choking
is, in nearly every situation, rendered inedible
or at least unappetizing after the procedure.
What Dr. Heimlich finally has developed is
a maneuver that not only saves the victim from
choking, but also leaves the food intact! Incred
ible! Apparently, the international sign forchok
ing, a single hand clasping the throat, will not
be changed, but a new sign for the new maneu
ver will be instated. This sign for the new
maneuver will involve one hand clasping the
throat like the old sign but will be accompanied
by the other hand alternately rubbing the stom
ach and tapping one's plate with the index
finger.
When I awoke, I realized the import of my
dream and immediately decided to write it
down. I whipped open the drawer of my night
stand, looking for something to write with,
flinging out wads of old Chiclets, that fan letter
in the pink envelope that made me black out for
a few hours, some ham and then, finally, I found
it. A pencil.
Now, I don't exactly know what it was about
thispencil that locked me into such a trance, but
as soon as I picked it up I forgot all about my
dream. Damn. I would have liked to have '
written it down. Oh, well. Hindsight's always
2030. Regardless, now all I could think about
were pencils.
Pencils. There's a lot I don't understand
about pencils. Now, I don't mean like how to
work them or anything. Come on, I'm not
done with others, both female and
male. Only through unfettered dis
cussion and debate can problems
become resolved, and closing your
self off from this eliminates reso
lution and amendment. This is a
simple fact of communication.
Thus, I respond here to request
your presence in the debate and
resolution of gender inequality; I
ask not for compromise or "de
feat," but simply an open mind, a
logical intellect and a willingness
to work things out all of which
I believe you possess. Continuing
to berate men and gender inequal
ity will serve no purpose save con
tinuation of hostile attitudes from
men and continued gender-related
problems.
Don't continue with your self
defeating logic, Leah. I don't know
ho w you came to your present state
of mind, but don't classify all men
as slime-lords, because some of us
aren't fighting against you, but for
the expression of your right to
equality (not superiority or contin
ued "inferiority").
NEAL BRIAN MCCALL
Junior
Business Administration
Mutual respect at work
not too much to expect
To the editor:
I am responding to Mr. Schenk 's
column ("Feminist leaders seek
ing superiority for women," Jan.
14), but unlike Ms. McCain ('"Poor
excuse of a man' makes faulty ar
gument," Jan. IS), I would like to
believe that he has more than eight
brain cells. I would also like to
believe that they are not focused on
his penis. For these reasons, I will
argue his points as opposed to in
sulting him personally.
To begin with, he should have
said that, in the past, women have
been excluded from the draft. If
another draft is reinstated, it may
very well include women. He also
ignores the possibility that certain
terms are banned from the media to
protect the ears of small children
and not women. As he pointed out,
ladies are exposed to such lan
guage on a day-to-day basis in the
office. Thirdly, since women out
number men by approximately 1
percent, we should be the gender,
with a sexual deficit, and perhaps
his problem is personal.
Mr. Schenk has apparently fal len
for our society 's idea that men need
sex more often than women, and
that they can be "set off at any
moment. I believe that if Mr.
Schenk did some research, he might
find that women are more respon
sive to sex when it is presented in a
more appropriate package than
"Hey, baby. You've got great hoot
ers," and other such phrases.
Although I do not believe the
American sex myth, I am willing
to do whatever is necessary to avoid
"harassing men in the workplace."
I am willing to wear a veil and
show no skin except the palms of
my hands, but what would that
stupid. I know how to work them. You just hold
them like an ear of com and that little, soft, red
button on one end turns it on or something, and
then it, you know, writes. Yeah. I know. Uh,
what I mean is deep questions about pencils.
Thoreau's father made pencils, you know. I'm
sure you do, but I'd be remiss in my job as a
collegiate columnist if I didn't make some
meaningless pedantic reference every now and
then. Back to my questions. I mean questions
like, Where do they come from? I've never
bought any; I just find them in drawers. Are
they some byproduct of furniture, perhaps?
Hmm.
Also, different models of pencils baffle me.
I'm not talking about special-purpose pencils
for, say, drawing or drafting; those I see the
purpose of. I'm baffled by . why one pencil
company would make different models of the
exact same damn yellow standard writing pen
cil. Take the Eberhard Faber company, for
example. They have lots of pencil models, but
let's look at two of them: the Mongol and the
Marigold. Both are plain, wooden, yellow, red
erasered writing pencils. For all purposes, they
are exactly the same. So why the hell did this
company bother to print different names on
them?
What are they trying to do, target specific
markets? Like for the Mongol, which has big,
heavy-printed, saloon-type lettering on the side
and two black stripes around that little metal
thing that holds the eraser, are they trying to
target this to rugged, Jeep-buying outdoor types?
Is this the "It's not pretty, but, dammit, it gets
the job done" pencil? Is this theirtough, mascu
line, rough-and-ready writing utensil? Dammit,
it's just a damn pencil! No different than any
other bloody pencil! And the Marigold. What is
this, the feminine, demure pencil, with its name
scripted in pretty silver along its side? Elegance
and sensuality in yellow-painted wood? Is that
this pencil's goal? Odd, seeing as how it's the
exact bloody same as the damn Mongol and the
Eagle and the Herald and Trusty (which, to its
credit, had real bendy wood) and American,
and ... and ... and ... dammit, any other bloody
kind of pencil!
I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into
me. This shouldn't be upsetting me this much.
It's just that, well, sometimes it hurts, okay?
Sniff. Urn. Uh, lemme get a hold of myself.
Ow! Not there! Okay. That's good. Good luck,
my friends. Solidarity.
Jason Torchinsky is a junior art history
major from Greensboro.
really solve? As far as being help
less, I will always make an effort
to find a ladder to stand on instead
of asking a man to reach some
thing for me so that I will not risk
"turning him on." On the same
note, I will not lend a fingernail to
open a package for fear that I might
suddenly feel the urge to make a
comment about a man's physique.
Today, women must be un
chained from the stove and go to
work to provide for our families.
We have to walk the fine line be
tween office hag and man's door
mat. This can be fairly threatening
to the male ego. Their territory has
been invaded, and the best way to
remember the "good old days" is
with a healthy dose of male bond
ing although to many people (a
word Mr. Schenk did not use in his
editorial) it would seem reason
able to confine this behavior to
one's personal time. Perhaps since
this is"aman'sdomain,"they have
the right to behave this way.
At the risk of sounding "mor
ally superior," I believe everyone
should attempt to act with matu
rity in the office. Why not try to
respect the feelings and wishes of
one's colleagues, men and women?
But, in the mean time, give my
space on the lifeboat to anyone
who will take it, and I will float on
a seat cushion with the "real men"
be they male or female.
KRISTEN ELEAZER
Sophomore
Business