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Pag 4 DTII Omnibus '
Thursday September 10, 1992
Copycat groups sink to new depths of mediocrity
fji Although the press re
J J lease for British popsters
ii il promised that the band
would "take a big chunk out of your
soul," the debut album for these club
scene veterans is more likely to help
you kick a sleeping pill habit.
Actually, there's nothing terribly
wrong with Rumblefish. It's just that
the band obviously has not had an origi
nal musical thought, but prefers to crib
from the real groundbreakers. What's
Top 10 Albums
1. Billy Ray Cym
Countdown to Extinction
Totally Kmssad Out
4. Marlah Carey
MTV Unplugged Ef
6. Toa Short
Shorty the Pimp
7. Pearl Jam
t. Earth Brook
. Ropirt the Wind
9. Red Het Chill Peppers
Blood Sex Sugar Magik
10. Clint Black
The Hard Way :v:
1. SobIc Youth
It's a Shame About Ray 1
5. Faith Ha More
Angel Dust ' . ::
7. Catherlee Wheel
8. The Wolfgang Press
Meantime ':i, ''"''r't
BLACK H JACK presents...
IVUI ISC TTOtl
$5 pre sale $7 at the door
limited tickets available
157 E. Rosemary St.
worse, these guys aren't even enthusi
astic copycats. Most of the album is
decidedly bland and flaccid, as if the
studio was handing out downers just
before the recording sessions.
The album starts off decently with
"Everything Electrical," which features
an interesting palette of guitar sounds
and dynamic changes, and sounds
faintly reminiscent of Charlatans U.K.
But the album rapidly takes a turn for
the worse. Without the album sleeve to
refer to, I'd have a hard time telling any
of the side-one songs apart. In fact,
except for the first song on each side,
Rumblefish is the musical equivalent of
oatmeal without any sugar or cinna
mon: wholesome, but boring beyond
Without a doubt, the most promi
nent feature of this album was the in
credibly dispirited musical delivery. Lis
tening to it, I kept getting the strange
feeling that the band members could
barely stand upright while cutting the
Pop somnabulists, Rumblefish
sleepwalks through their first album.
OO negative blobs
aigon Kick's latest, The Liz
ard, almost didn't get re
viewed because my tape
player tried to eat it at least
Oh, how I wish it had succeeded.
Without a doubt, The Lizard is one
of the most objectionable pieces of au-
Mhdn' and matchin' the listening library
Mozart, Menudo, Mom and Marvin Gaye
he mix tape. What a con
cept. Imagine collecting those
songs you hold most dear
your absolute favorite tunes
onto a portable piece of magnetic
media. Any songs you choose. In any
order. Up to 90 minutes worth of stuff.
Boggles the mind, doesn't it?
Actually, few besides the incurably
bored really try to exploit the possibili
ties of the mix tape. Mix tapes are a
cL X v-i AS 7 '-'"'V
dio drivel I've ever had the misfortune
to be subjected to. I'm not so much
objecting to the music itself. The Lizard
is perfectly decent derivative, imita
tive, hard-rock, hair-band fare. Typical
whiny vocal deliveries, typical power
chord guitar with the obligatory solo
after the second chorus. As far as instru
mentation goes, Saigon Kick is no worse
than, say, a rip-off of Skid Row.
No, what really kills this album is
God knows I don't expect great po
etic insight from a hard rock band, but
Saigon Kick takes moronic lyrical
mouthings to new depths of medioc
rity. With typical poseur aplomb, these
white boys from Miami explore the
mean streets of the inner city with the
sort of raw honesty you would expect
means of personal expression accessible
to anyone with a tape deck, yet most
people record little more than mindless
"greatest hits" packages. They are con
tent to create little K-Tel rejects with
out rhyme or reason, and are afraid to
push the envelope.
To these people, I say this: We have
the technology, we have the resources,
we can create some audio Franken
So, dear reader, here are some ideas
that I have collected (through consid
erable research and effort) that you can
use in your own future homemade mas
terworks. They are presented in ascend
ing order of absurdity. They are only
suggestions, but feel free to run with
them in any direction you choose.
MOOD MUSIC ok, mood music
is pretty tame, but a good starting point
for the uninitiated. Decide what mood
you plan to be in when listening to your
tape, and program accordingly. For ex
Rumblefish: God, they're weird
from someone who sees a lot of hard
ship on TV.
What's worse, these talentless doggerel-mongers
aren't even consistent in
their dishonesty. Apparently, they see
no contradictions when in "Body Bags,"
they praise the civil rights movement:
"Luther died the bravest dreamer," and
then in "World Goes Round" they de
liver yet another misogynist hard-rock
tirade: "With a scream . . . her life bleeds
Off the knife."
Unfortunately, this record will prob
ably sell well, since Saigon Kick cun
ningly managed to have a warning label
affixed to their latest opus. But there's
something odd even about this: except
for the "s-word" 1 couldn't find any
potty-mouth on the album. Probably
because they didn't print the lyrics to
ample, if the tape is for study music,
maybe you'd like some Handel and
Mozart or, if the tape is for interstate
driving, you might like some Megadeth
and Pantera. Of course, if things start
getting predictable, maybe you should
switch the tapes.
SEX TAPES The logical step
after "MOOD MUSIC," but you didn't
hear it from me. Marvin Gaye and Otis
Redding material is appropriate here,
perhaps with a dash of The Cure if
you're by yourself.
DRINKING MUSIC I'm only
kidding. If you make a tape of drinking
songs, I don't want to hear about it. I'd
hate to think that you keep George
Thorogood in business.
THEMATIC MUSIC Imagine
the titles: "Songs My Mother Would
Like." "Surfing Music." "Kenny Rogers'
Famous Duets." "Songs from the
Soundtracks of John Candy Films."
"Songs Played During Bulls Games."
The mind reels ...
CHEESE MUSIC Probably the
easiest music to find; it's everywhere
these days. Borrow a few slabs of
three of the songs.
So, if you like shameless stylistic
imitators (Saigon Kick steals from Jane's
Addiction and from Sub Pop) and
worse-than-average pop-metal lyrics,
The Lizard is for you.
Otherwise, help send this record to
the $2.99 bargain bin, where it belongs.
wait for a bargain bin buy
tape it from a friend
bay twe copies
Menudo, Village People, CC Music
Factory , Tiffany and REO Speedwagon
from your niece and grate away. Any
one who can listen to a tape's worth of
this crap deserves a block of cheddar
and new speakers.
EARLY 80's MUSIC Essentially
CHEESE MUSIC with a flock of
ABSURD MUSIC The peak,
the goal, the top of the mountain. Imag
ine the contrasts Spinal Tap and
James Brown! Richard Clayderman and
Slayer! Andrew Lloyd Webber and
Waylon Jennings! Surrealism and in
sanity should be your only guidelines.
It is the ABSURD MUSIC category
which separates the mixmasters from
Again, these are merely suggestions
it's your responsibility to take them
into parts unknown. Good luck, and
keep me posted on yout progress.
Oh yeah, if you want copies of any of
my stuff to call your very own, leave a
blank tape, name and phone number at
Omni in The Daily Tar Heel office. I'll
get back to you.