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The daily Tar Heel. (Chapel Hill, N.C.) 1946-current, September 10, 1992, Page 12, Image 12

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Pag 4 DTII Omnibus ' Thursday September 10, 1992 Copycat groups sink to new depths of mediocrity Rumblefish East WestAtlantic nnnnnoonrrre. fji Although the press re J J lease for British popsters Rumblefish hyperbolically ii il promised that the band would "take a big chunk out of your soul," the debut album for these club scene veterans is more likely to help you kick a sleeping pill habit. Actually, there's nothing terribly wrong with Rumblefish. It's just that the band obviously has not had an origi nal musical thought, but prefers to crib from the real groundbreakers. What's Top 10 Albums 1. Billy Ray Cym SomeGaveAII 2. Megadsatb Countdown to Extinction 3. KrbsKrass Totally Kmssad Out 4. Marlah Carey MTV Unplugged Ef 5. Boomerang Soundtrack v' 6. Toa Short Shorty the Pimp 7. Pearl Jam Ten t. Earth Brook . Ropirt the Wind 9. Red Het Chill Peppers Blood Sex Sugar Magik 10. Clint Black The Hard Way :v: College Albums 1. SobIc Youth 2. lesionheads It's a Shame About Ray 1 3. TheB-52s GoodStuft :-. 4. Singles Soundtrack 5. Faith Ha More Angel Dust ' . :: 6. TheCwa Wiosh 7. Catherlee Wheel Ferment :w-i'yrUi 8. The Wolfgang Press Queer 9. Helmut Meantime ':i, ''"''r't 10. XYC Hey UMC BLACK H JACK presents... IVUI ISC TTOtl Sept. 11th 8:00 p.m. $5 pre sale $7 at the door limited tickets available 157 E. Rosemary St. JONATOMCjlL worse, these guys aren't even enthusi astic copycats. Most of the album is decidedly bland and flaccid, as if the studio was handing out downers just before the recording sessions. The album starts off decently with "Everything Electrical," which features an interesting palette of guitar sounds and dynamic changes, and sounds faintly reminiscent of Charlatans U.K. But the album rapidly takes a turn for the worse. Without the album sleeve to refer to, I'd have a hard time telling any of the side-one songs apart. In fact, except for the first song on each side, Rumblefish is the musical equivalent of oatmeal without any sugar or cinna mon: wholesome, but boring beyond redemption. Without a doubt, the most promi nent feature of this album was the in credibly dispirited musical delivery. Lis tening to it, I kept getting the strange feeling that the band members could barely stand upright while cutting the songs. Pop somnabulists, Rumblefish sleepwalks through their first album. Saison Kick The Lizard Third StoneAtlantic OO negative blobs aigon Kick's latest, The Liz ard, almost didn't get re viewed because my tape player tried to eat it at least three times. Oh, how I wish it had succeeded. Without a doubt, The Lizard is one of the most objectionable pieces of au- Mhdn' and matchin' the listening library Mozart, Menudo, Mom and Marvin Gaye he mix tape. What a con cept. Imagine collecting those songs you hold most dear your absolute favorite tunes onto a portable piece of magnetic media. Any songs you choose. In any order. Up to 90 minutes worth of stuff. Boggles the mind, doesn't it? Actually, few besides the incurably bored really try to exploit the possibili ties of the mix tape. Mix tapes are a Ladies! VV f ifojJ. f 933-7777 cL X v-i AS 7 '-'"'V dio drivel I've ever had the misfortune to be subjected to. I'm not so much objecting to the music itself. The Lizard is perfectly decent derivative, imita tive, hard-rock, hair-band fare. Typical whiny vocal deliveries, typical power chord guitar with the obligatory solo after the second chorus. As far as instru mentation goes, Saigon Kick is no worse than, say, a rip-off of Skid Row. No, what really kills this album is the lyrics. God knows I don't expect great po etic insight from a hard rock band, but Saigon Kick takes moronic lyrical mouthings to new depths of medioc rity. With typical poseur aplomb, these white boys from Miami explore the mean streets of the inner city with the sort of raw honesty you would expect JON ALLEN means of personal expression accessible to anyone with a tape deck, yet most people record little more than mindless "greatest hits" packages. They are con tent to create little K-Tel rejects with out rhyme or reason, and are afraid to push the envelope. To these people, I say this: We have the technology, we have the resources, we can create some audio Franken steins here! So, dear reader, here are some ideas that I have collected (through consid erable research and effort) that you can use in your own future homemade mas terworks. They are presented in ascend ing order of absurdity. They are only suggestions, but feel free to run with them in any direction you choose. MOOD MUSIC ok, mood music is pretty tame, but a good starting point for the uninitiated. Decide what mood you plan to be in when listening to your tape, and program accordingly. For ex Rumblefish: God, they're weird from someone who sees a lot of hard ship on TV. What's worse, these talentless doggerel-mongers aren't even consistent in their dishonesty. Apparently, they see no contradictions when in "Body Bags," they praise the civil rights movement: "Luther died the bravest dreamer," and then in "World Goes Round" they de liver yet another misogynist hard-rock tirade: "With a scream . . . her life bleeds Off the knife." Unfortunately, this record will prob ably sell well, since Saigon Kick cun ningly managed to have a warning label affixed to their latest opus. But there's something odd even about this: except for the "s-word" 1 couldn't find any potty-mouth on the album. Probably because they didn't print the lyrics to ample, if the tape is for study music, maybe you'd like some Handel and Mozart or, if the tape is for interstate driving, you might like some Megadeth and Pantera. Of course, if things start getting predictable, maybe you should switch the tapes. SEX TAPES The logical step after "MOOD MUSIC," but you didn't hear it from me. Marvin Gaye and Otis Redding material is appropriate here, perhaps with a dash of The Cure if you're by yourself. DRINKING MUSIC I'm only kidding. If you make a tape of drinking songs, I don't want to hear about it. I'd hate to think that you keep George Thorogood in business. THEMATIC MUSIC Imagine the titles: "Songs My Mother Would Like." "Surfing Music." "Kenny Rogers' Famous Duets." "Songs from the Soundtracks of John Candy Films." "Songs Played During Bulls Games." The mind reels ... CHEESE MUSIC Probably the easiest music to find; it's everywhere these days. Borrow a few slabs of three of the songs. So, if you like shameless stylistic imitators (Saigon Kick steals from Jane's Addiction and from Sub Pop) and worse-than-average pop-metal lyrics, The Lizard is for you. Otherwise, help send this record to the $2.99 bargain bin, where it belongs. forget It wait for a bargain bin buy tape it from a friend e bifftt bay twe copies Menudo, Village People, CC Music Factory , Tiffany and REO Speedwagon from your niece and grate away. Any one who can listen to a tape's worth of this crap deserves a block of cheddar and new speakers. EARLY 80's MUSIC Essentially CHEESE MUSIC with a flock of seagulls added. ABSURD MUSIC The peak, the goal, the top of the mountain. Imag ine the contrasts Spinal Tap and James Brown! Richard Clayderman and Slayer! Andrew Lloyd Webber and Waylon Jennings! Surrealism and in sanity should be your only guidelines. It is the ABSURD MUSIC category which separates the mixmasters from the mixed-up. Again, these are merely suggestions it's your responsibility to take them into parts unknown. Good luck, and keep me posted on yout progress. Oh yeah, if you want copies of any of my stuff to call your very own, leave a blank tape, name and phone number at Omni in The Daily Tar Heel office. I'll get back to you.

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