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A4 I DECEMBER 19,2018 BERTIE LEDGER-ADVANCE Opinion Take away their power.. I have been a self-proclaimed feminist since my college days. In fact, in undergrad I majored in Political Science and minored in Women’s Studies with the dream of getting into a Women’s Studies PhD program. My plan was to plant myself on a campus somewhere and spend the rest of my life empowering young wom en. Of course, as a result of some twists and turns 1 followed another path and built my career advocating for the voiceless. Never theless, the fact that 1 am a woman and a mother of girls, keeps issues which affect girls and women at the fore front of my mind. As 1 was walking the other day, 1 realized my idea of feminism has grown so much over the years. Had 1 gone on to become that Women’s Studies professor 1 dreamed of being in my twenties, 1 Tonza probably would have been Ruffin focused on empowerment through equal pay, equal SouthemmomJD rights, equal opportunities and the right to choose. My forty-something Women’s Studies profes sor self would center my empowerment talks around taking away the power men have over us psychologically. Evolution, and life experiences, have led me to believe the equality we are seeking as women will never come to be until we rid ourselves of the grasp men have on us mentally. This does not mean we Cemnot have loving relationships with men. So, don’t run off saying Tonza is a “man hater” just yet. I believe that taking away the power men have over us. psychologically would simply cause a shift in our mindset. When 1 sit around and talk to my teen age daughter and her friends, they talk to me about the pressure of having to always be on “fleek” (I’m not really sure if young people are still saying that but oh well...) in order to attract men. The sad thing is while many of these girls work hard at being on “fleek,” they find themselves disappointed when they final ly get the attention they were seeking be cause they then realize they are not really interested in the guy they were pursuing. There is often a delay between her ac ceptance and announcement of disinterest because many of these young girls waste time questioning whether or not some thing is wrong with them after re2dizing “he is just not that interesting.” To take away a man’s power psychologi cally means to simply shift our focus as girls and women to what makes us feel happy and whole without giving any con sideration to the male desires. Many wom en eventually come to this point. Unfortunately, it is only after we are old er, and we realize that life is too short to waste on situations causing more stress than happiness. Imagine the possibilities for a little girl who gets the tools she needs early on to embrace this notion. She would no longer be bombarded with the emotional baggage coming with trying to live up to a man’s standards. Therefore, her energy could be spent in areas that cre ate peace and happiness for her. What if we began teaching little girls that the true key to happiness and peace is found when they truly love themselves and the life they have been gifted with. Shifting the focus to self-love would greatly mini mize the amount of time women struggle with low self-esteem. This would ultimate ly lead to a more balanced and peaceful society. While we have taken great strides to teach young girls they are able to accom plish anything they want to in the work place and in the world, we still have a lot of work to do when it comes to giving young girls the tools they need in order to be em powered psychologically so that men no longer have the power to decide for wom en what their “happy” should look like. Tonza D. Ruffin is a mommy, lawyer, and author, living in eastern North Carolina. Fol low her blog at www.southernmomjd.com. Let me know your thoughts. Email me at tdrufhn 71@gmail. com. The fabric of Bertie County since 1832 Christmas came early... lA Christmas is less than one week away, and 1 can say 1 am only half ready for the big holiday. 1 did get the decorating com pleted the weekend after Thanksgiving, but it was not an easy task. With the idea of a live Christmas tree, the family went on a mission to find Leslie the perfect tree. Beachboard 1 have always Small Town been used to having Girl a pre-lit tree, so try ing to string newly bought, scrunched up lights on a nine-foot tree made me want to throw the tree and lights out the front door for someone else to deal with. Several crystal ornaments were in shattered pieces on my hard wood floor before 1 reaiized they must be place farther back on the limb to avoid them falling to the floor. 1 have not bought a single pres ent, but 1 guess it could be a good thing. There were no pretty wrapped packages underneath the tree when the urge of pee ing on a “real tree” in the house hit Coby, my St. Bernard, Sunday night. As 1 threw my tree skirt in the trash 1 though to myself, 1 spoke too soon about him not seeming interested in my tree. This last week before Christmas seems as though it is planned to be torture for me. We are planning to do eight newspapers this week, and 1 know my tradition of last minute Christ mas shopping adventures will be hectic trying to find every pres ent in one weekend. But it is all going to be fine-for two reasons. The first reason is my children begin their Christmas break to day at 11:30, and I don’t know who is happier. Don’t get me wrong the children attend an amazing school, but by the time Christmas break arrives we all need a break. My oldest child almost always completes her homework on her own, and never asks for help. But my youngest three require more attention. After several hours a night of homework a night and the morn ing chaos of children who are usu ally grumpy because they are not “morning people, 1 get tired and the routine gets old. 1 need a break. The second reason is Christmas arrived early for me this year. “Shenon Claus,” my daddy, and several helper elves took on the job of picking up and delivering a baby grand piano through the ' front doors of my house. 1 have played the piano since 1 ' was eight, and always wanted a baby grand piano. After moving into my house, 1 ” found the perfect place for a new toy, in the bay of windows in the foyer. Now, my want is a reality. • This weekend, after much plan ning and engineering to find a way to move the 500-plus pounds of piano, it rolled through front doors. 1 always joked about playing a baby grand in the bay, and now 1 can do that. The funny thing is because it ; was unexpected my Christmas tree was sitting where the piano needed to go. We moved the tree with lights and decorations still attached. Leslie Beachboard wishes all of her readers a Merry Christmas, and is a Staff Writer for the Bertie Led ger-Advance. She can be reached via email at lbeachboard@ncweek- “ lies.com. A highly engineered used vehicle. ■ ■ Mark Rutledge Today In North Carolina When you maintain a fleet of ve hicles, there’s going to be a lemon in the bunch now and again. I’m ready td cut my losses and pass our lemon on to the next citrus sucker. With three teen age drivers, we have a lot of cars in the family. My strat egy has been to put the kids in older and heavy vehicles engineered in Eu ropean countries with lots of snow. These are cars that are rated highly for safety and should withstand a bit more banging around without need of a tow truck. 1 was a new driver once, and I’ve acknowledged my contribu tion to the destruction of several automobiles during those early years. My dad’s strategy evolved toward acquiring old, heavy, slow, and rusting heaps for me to drive - and turning the insurance pay ment over to me as well. The car 1 found for my first young driver was a fantastic find. It’s a 2001 Volvo Cross Country, a marvel of Swedish ingenuity. 1 think 1 used up all of my used-car luck on that machine, because the next buy has been a highly engineered disappointment from day one. But oh, the Volvo. The Cross Country is an all-wheel-drive ab solute tank that will go anywhere in the snow. Few people know that it was designed for carrying Scandinavian cross country ski ers to the highest and most snow- covered mountain trails. The skiers could then send the car back to the base of the moun tain - driverless and bouncing be tween trees - where it would arrive unscathed and ready to transport the next group of skiers. Not a word of that is true, but it’s entirely plausible. Our Cross Country has paid off on my teenage-driver strategy twice by coming through crash es without subsequently need ing to go through a body shop. One daughter backed through a snow-covered yard and slammed squarely into the front of another teenager’s parked car. The friend’s car was totaled. The Volvo has a small scratch on the rear bumper. Another daughter was exiting our driveway in the Volvo at the same time that our next-door neighbor was arriving home. The neighbor’s car was smashed into pieces that had to be loaded onto a truck and hauled away. 1 was able to glue the Volvo’s cracked taillight back together. Seeking to replicate the solid Volvo experience when the twins started driving earlier this year, 1 looked at a 2004 Cross Country in excellent condition. The car lot wanted nearly twice what we paid an individual for the 2001, and 1 walked away. Now, 1 kick myself every time the German-engineered SUV that we finally bought chokes on an other dead component. A water, pump here, a starter there, and pretty soon you’ve piled up half the vehicle’s dollar value in repair bills. 1 once crawled under my Dad’s old Chevy Caprice and had a new starter installed within minutes. The same job on our used SUV requires a degree from Darmstadt University of Technology. I’ll pay another DUT grad to fix it one more time. Then I’m going to stick a sign in the window: “Will trade for Volvo Cross Country. Comes with five free- towing coupons and a flare gun.” Contact Mark Rutledge at mrut- ledge@reflector.com or like him on Facebook at Mark Rutledge Col umns. Bertie Ledger-Advance The fabric of Bertie County since 1832 The Berte Leogot-Aovance was esTABLtSHS) IN 1928 torouqm the HERITAGE OF ThE WINDSOR LEDGER AND ThE AuIANOER ADVANCE. The newsfarer traces its history to 1832 when it was first published AS THE Windsor Heraio and Bertie County Register Kyle Stephens Leslie Beachboard Group Publisher Ste^ Writer kstephens@iicweeklies.coiH lbeachbo»Kija>neweddKS.cont Thadd White Editor cwhite@ncweekUes.com Jim Green Sports Editor jgreen@ncweefclies.com Deborah Griffin Staf Writer dgtiffin@ncweddies.com JW.’'Russ"Ilussefl Sports Editor Emeritus hemencws@ncweekUcs.cora Michelle l.dcester Creative Services mleicestet@ncweeklics.com Jessica Mobley Advertising Manager jniobley@ncweeklies.com The Bertie Ledger-Advance (ISSN 051-700) IS PUBLISHED EACH Wednesday for $32.10 (tax included) per year (in Bertie County) by Adams Publishing Group 109 S. King St.. Wind sor, NG 27983. Periodicals postage p«d at Windsor, NC AND entered at additional maiunq OPFtOES. Postmaster: address ohanoeb to the Bertie Ledger-Advance, ■p.O. Box 69. Windsor, NC 27983. CMfTACT Us: Bertie Ledger-Advance P.O. Box 69. ■ Windsor, NC 27983. Phone: (252) 794-3186 Fax; (252) 794-2835
Bertie Ledger-Advance (Windsor, N.C.)
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Dec. 19, 2018, edition 1
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