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Our Church Directory
METHODIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH
Rev. L. H. Joyner, Pastor.
Sunday School every Sunday morning
at 10 o’clock.
Preaching every first and fourth Sun
day at 11:00 a. m. and 7:00 p. m.
Prayer meeting every Wednesday even
ing at 7:00 o’clock.
Epworth League every Sunday even
ing at 6:30 o’clock.
Rev. M. D. McNeill, Pastor,
Service every second Sunday afternoon
at 3 o’clock and fifth Sunday morning at
Sunday School every Sunday morning
at ten o’clock.
Christian Endeavor every Sunday even
ing at seven o’clock.
Every one is cordially invited to attend
Do everything for Vass. ,
Deal with our home merchants.
Don’t forget the building association.
Are you helping the Armenian children ?
The Pilot will shortly appear in a new
Advertising is the greatest business in
It might be worse. You can still get a
passport to heaven without showing your
income tax receipt.
The Federal Reserve Board is repect-
fully informed that deflation is complete
when the car begins to run on the rim.
From what we have observed, there are
more headaches in a bottle of hoock than
formerly were contained in a whole bar
rel of booze.
The Pilot man once heard a girl say she
had acquired calloused feet from wearing
shoes that were too large for her, but we
never saw the shoes.
The parlor is filled when an engaged
girl and her victim take possession of it.
And so the immigrants have an average
of $85, Not to mention 17 deceases.
Commodity prices have fallen according
to Bradstreet’s. But Gunter’s grocery store
doesn’t seem to handle this line.
A New Jersey man is spending a year
in jail rather than return to his wife. He
probably figures that he will get some time
off for good behavior which would not be
the case at home.
A headline says Dorothy Dalton has lost
part of her wardrobe. Well, well! The
Pilot man has seen Dorothy in a couple of
plays fixed up in a way that led to the
conclusion she never had a wardrobe.
If the Pilot man’s pay is slim and he
can’t get into the new office safe, what
would Judge Landis advise him to do!
These short skirts have robbed many
an ankle, formerly considered pretty, of its
In these days whenever a man is told
what to take for a cold his snappy come
back is “where can I get it.”
Seven districts out of seventeen in Alle
gheny county, Maryland, have voted dry
for twenty years recently back-fired and
when the ballots were all counted had de
clared themselves overwhelmingly wet.
This may mean something in the abstract
but the concrete results will not prove of
sufficient importance to warrant getting
excited over the situation.
Prohibition may be a dead issue, as Mr.
Bryan says, but it seems to be costing an
awful lot to bury it.
Answering the paragrapher who asks
‘what has become of the old-fashioned
man who used to advise his son to get
married,” we respectfully submit that he
is now supporting his grandson in a kick
against his father of sixty-five who wants
to wed a chicken of twenty-three.
About all a romantic girl has left these
days is to marry a man in order to cure
him of the craving for the liquor habit.
It strikes us that wild oats have come
in for a lot of odium that ought be attached
to rye and corn.
It has about gotten so in the cities that
the taxicab men will rob you if you ride
and the holdup men will rob you if you
Speaking of bootleg whisky, one swallow
doesn’t make a spring but it frequently
sends a man to a Warmer climate.
The trouble with the man with the iioe
is he is apt to lay it down for the lure of
the city where he can see the hose.
A minister may become unpopular, but
short sermons have never been the cause
We’ll bet the Pilgrims, who made a law
against kissing their wives on Sunday,
didn’t make one against fussing with them
One hears less of the I Wont Work Club
these days, which, somehow or other
doesn’t tend to allay the Pilot man’s sus
Rev. L. H. Joyner, pastor of the Metho
dist Episcopal Church, this town, will
preach next Sunday morning and evening.
You are expected to be there.
Miss Fannie Gunter was taken suddenly
ill last week and for a time her life was
despaired of, but her guardian, Grandpap
Gunter was very attentive to her wants.
He sent for the doctor, but he being out of
town Grandpap administered several doses
of spirits of nitre, which reduced her fever
and when she retu’ed on Thursday night
her condition was somewhat improved. In
fact so much that the next morning when
Grandpap Gunter went to her apartment
he was surprised to find quite full of life.
Her muleship had improved so much that
she would have kicked the slats out of any
person that came within reach of her hind
hoofs. Fannie has been in the Gunter
family for nearly thirty years, and no bet
ter mule ever trotted up the railroad track
than she. Grandpap Gunter, of course, is
the happiest man in town because of her
Card of Thanks
Mr. and Mrs. Isaac Thompson wish to
express their many thanks to the people
of this community for their valuable as
sistance rendered them when their home
was destroyed by fire on the eighteenth
instant. We not only appreciate the kind
ness of the people, but the motive that
prompted it. THE FAMILY.
Vass, N. C.
Repairing and Supplies, Oils,
For UFE INSURANCE see
NEILL M. McKEITHEN
Vass, North Carolina
AETNA LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY
Here’s your hat, Daddy!
hurry down and get your
Royal Tailored suit!”
And you Uncles and
Brothers and long-
There’s some wonderful values
down here at this store, in Royal
Tailored to order clothes
Never mind about the price. Leave that to me.
If I cannot save you $10 to $20 in a new custom
made, genuine all wool suit or overcoat, I ■don’t want
your trade. Please put me to the test.
NEILL M. McKEITHEN
Authorized Residejnt Dealer for
N EW YORK