Newspapers / The Smithfield Herald (Smithfield, … / April 5, 1901, edition 1 / Page 3
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MODERN FABLE OF THE J Undecided Brunette and the Two Candidates. ; T m BY GEORGE ADE. ; m * Copyright, 1901, by Hob?rt HowanlJUusnell. ^ Once there was a dark-eyed Maiden who was being Hushed by a Cheap man and a Provider. They took Turn About in com ing up to the house. She was a Child Wonder when it came to spreading her Dates so that one Gentleman would not cross an other's Heat. Each of the Appli cants was led to believe that he was the Only One for whom all the Lights were turned up, re gardless of the Meter. Hethought that when he failed to Show Up she was in her own Ilootnlooking; sat his Picture and Feeling Blue, i The girl did what she could 10 foster these Delusions because .she wanted to hold as many Op tions as possible, so as to have her Pick. The Cheap Man had his Good Points. He was House Broke and could play Chords and he knew how to mix a Darling Salad, if some one else furnished the In gredients. But from eight to five every day he was a Shylock and when he was in a Crowd he never did anything Hash that Involved the use of Money. He saved a little more than his salary every Week, and was pointed out as a Comer in the Business World. It hurt him to Let Go. When he wanted to give the If lunette a Frolic he would get a Book out of the Public Library and take it up the House and read it to her. Once he put her; on the Car and gave her a jolly \ Hide down to the Second Baptist I Church to hear a Free Lecture i on the Holy Land. When lie) faced up to a Soda Fountain one Afternoon and ordered somej Malted Chocolate for her, Humor' had it that he had been taken; with Ei.largement of the Heart. At Christmas Time he sent the Dark Girl a Square Card with a Snow Scene, a Clump of Fir Trees and a Frozen \\ ater Wheel. When they went out to a party he always remarked that it ?seemed to be a Pleasant Evening and they might as well Hoof it. i If the \V eather turned out bad and it was a ease of Landau he would work up a Nervous Head ache and jump the Engagement. The Provider was just the oth er Way. He was for Buying. The Queen received her Violets avery Day or two, even though he had to Catch Even by lunch ing on Buttermilk and Sinkers. She got what she wanted and he took his Chances on standing off the Wolf at the Door and Dodg ing the Tailor, the Gents' Furn isher and other Creditors who were Laying for him. He took her to a Theatre and they had Parquette Seats on the Aisle. After the Performance the Colored Man would call out their 1 Carriage N umber and there would dash up a Team of Prancing Bays driven by a Rough Man with Brass Buttons and a queer Tall Hat. The Provider would hand her into the glittering Ve hicle with the graceful Flourish of a Sir Roger de Coverly. The Door would slam and away they would Clatter, with all the Awed Spectators wondering which one ? of the Vanderbilt Boys that was.' After he got back to his $2.75 Room and put the Dress Clothes j where Moths could not get at j them, he would do some calcula-1 ting on the back of an Envelope, and discover that he had Burned 1 p just One Week's Salary be tween 7:45 and 11:15. Then he wolud wish that a> Mweetfaced, white-haired Old Lady with a Safety Deposit J vault full of Gilt edge Securities might come along and Adopt, him and put him in a white and ' gold Suite with a Pianola and a Man-Servant. The Provider was a Financial Feather-Weight but he was Game as a Pebble. He worked on the Principle that a Man can Afford anything he can Get. He allowed himself nearly everything that the Rich Folks have Except Money. He would invite the Brunette Luncheon with him. When he was by himself he called it Lunch. That "eon" on the end usually makes a difference of about $4.85 in the Check. They would repair to a Cafe with a Fountain playing in the center of the Room and Bread and Butter 15c extra. Every time she pointed her Finger at another Item on the Carte du Jour it put a Sickening Crimp in his Visible Assets and moved him about three Notches nbarer to Hard Pan, but he never twitched a Muscle. He would nush a Half over toward the Waiter as if it annoyed him to see Money lying around. He would walk out as light as a Toy Balloon and put her in a Cab and send her Home, and then he would be down to his Gloves and a Bunch of Keys and a Card Case and a couple of street Car Tickets. The Brunette was Up a Stump when it came to making a Choice. It seemed to be another instance of Horse and Horse. She knew that the Cheap Man would own Bank Stock a nd Corner lots when the Provider would be living on Snow Balls, and yet she could not bring herself to lean up against a Stingy < )ld Thing who never unbuckled to give her a Nice Time. As for the Provider, he was the Kindest Friend she knew and a Good Thing while he lasted, but sheknewthathecould not Last farther than from here to the Corner. She guessed tha t if ^die went ahead and married the Provider he would give her everything he Owned, but he never would Own more than you could put in a Steamer Trunk, without using the Tray. The Cheap man, on the other hand, would have a Neat Bal ance and a Strong Rating, but it would require the use of an Anaesthet ic to get a Tailor-Made Suit out cf him. While in this Quandary shecon sulted her Aunt Km, who was two kinds of a Widow, Grass and Sod. She had buried one Husband and come out in Black. She had tied a Can to No. 2 and come out in Bright Colors. Aunc i',m asKea a nutnuer 01 Leading Questions in regard to the Qualifications of the two Suitors, and then she said: My Dear Niece, this is a Tall Problem for a 20-year-old (iirl to close on, but .you are entitled to a lot of Credit for holding ? back and | studying your Cards. A Lass j who was short on Foresight would have chosen the Provider, in the foolish Belief that she would continue to get the Violets and Broiled Birds and the Car- j riage Rides all the rest of her| Life. A Mercenary Maiden might j have grabbed at the chance to be Mrs. Cheap Man, but you are Dead Wise in your Theory that | one who is a Parsimonious Papa during Courtship will prove to be! a Close Proposition as a Hus band. The Man who will not Loosen Up under the Melting In-1 fiuence of True Love is a born Miser. Truly it is not what Hub by h- s but what he Hands Out, that entitles him to Respect and helps one to Endure him as a Necessary Evil. If you marry the Cheap Man, it is true that you stand a Show of getting the whole Estate sooner or later, but this is an Outside Chance because the Cheap Man usually adopts a Diet of Prunes, Graham Bread, Vegetable Soup and plain Spuds, and he will be nere a long time. | 1 he World is full of women whose; Husbands are so far ahead of the Game, that they can put up i Gray-Stone Blocks and make fat' Loans on Improved Real Estate, and yet each of these Wives is wearing Last Year's Hat, with the Wing moved over on the Other Side, and if she whispered j Automobile to old Ready Money, j he would throw a Back Summer- J sault. If you are going to start in to do a 40-year Stunt as a! Housekeeper to some Human Savings Bank, you had better put the Bargain on a lousiness; Basis to start with. Go before a! Lawyer and have him frame up an Iron-Clad Contract. Then you will get your little old Six every Saturday Night." Otherwise vou will have to Coax it out of him and get about 75 Cents per Throw. As between the Gener ous Young Fellow who is Flat and the Moneyed Man who never Comes Up, it is about Six of one cAnd Half a Dozen of the other. I think you are tied up with a couple of Frosty Ones. Auntie's Advice would be to pull down the Blinds and pay a Visit to some other Town where the New Girl is a pleasing Novelty, and there I term it your Affections to Center on some Tractaide Person who is neither a Prospective Pauper nor a close fisted (Yam." The Brunette caught the Wis dom of the Suggestion and took a little Jaunt to Cleveland where she fell desperately in Love with a General Manager of Set Habits and a calm, untheatrical Gener osity. They came to an Under standing and lived happily ever ifterward. Moral : It in Necessary o make i few Purchases both before and ifter Marriage. Hie Story ot "Nearer, My God, To Thee." Aw a writer, as a post, there were few in the literary world of London [in tne forties] who had not heard of Sarah Flower Adams, the gifted woman to whom all Christendom to-dav pays homage in its love for her immortal hymn, "Nearer, My God, to T hec," writes Clifford Howard in The Ladies Home Journal. It was written in 1840, and had subsequently been set to music by Kliza Flower, and included in a collection of hymns written and composed by the two sisters. Only within that year had their book, Hymns and Anthems, been published, and the hymn that was destined to inspire the world had then been heard but once or twice and within the walls of a single church?So. Palace Chapel. London. It was not, however, until after the year 1860, when the present well-known tune was cbmposed for it by Dr. Lowell Mason, of New York, that the hymn at tained its wide?pread popularity. Up to that time it had attracted but little notice. Through the spirit of Doctor Mason's sympa thetic music it. was quickened into glorious life and brought within the reach of every congregation and every Christian soul. But this was long after the author of the hymn had passed away. She died in 1848, without knowing rf the triumph and the glory that a waited her work. Her grave in the little village of her birth is unmarked by any monu ment1 to her fame. Caugfht A Dreadful Cold. Marion Kooke, manager for T. M. Thompson, a large importer of fine millinery at 16i>8 Mil waukee Avenue, Chicago, says: "During the late severe weather I caught a dreadful cold which kept me awake at night and made me unfit to attend my work dur ing the day. Oneof my milliners was taking Chamberlain's Cough Remedy for a severe cold at that time, which seemed to relieve her so quickly that 1 bought some for myself It acted like magic and 1 began to improve at once. 1 am now entirely well and feel very pleased to acknowledge its merits. For sale by Hood Bros. The Doomed Do?. Indignant like?Dat cur o' youru bit me, lady. Wot ye goin' to do 'bout it? Housewife?Oh, I shan't do anything for him, but just let him die. We weregoingto poison him anyway!"?Chicago News. Not Peculiar. Tess?I see a notice in the paper of the wedding of Mrs. Nubride. Jess?Yes, 1 know her very well. Tess?Do you? What was her maiden name? Jess?i supose her maiden aim was to get married.?Philadel phia Press. "I have been troubled with in digestion for ten years, have tried many things and spent much money to no purpose until I tried Kodol Dyspepsia Cure. I have taken two bottles and gotten more relief from them than all other medicines taken. I feel more like a boy than I have felt in twenty years."? Anderson Riggs of Sunny Lane,Tex. Thous ands have testified as did Mr. Riggs ?Hood Bros., Hare & Son, J. R. Led better. Wicks?"Say, Tibbens, are you going to move this spring to escape house cleaning?" Tibbens?"Not much! There are too many people who move for fhe same purpose, and you can't find a clean vacant house." Every man is a volume if you know how to read him.?Chan ning. Y'ou will waste time if you try to cure indigestion or dyspepsia by starving yourself. That only makes it worse when you do eat heartily. You always need plen ty of good food properly digested. Kodol Dyspepsia Cure is the re sult of years of scientific research for something that would digest not only some elements of food but every kind. And it istheone remedy that will do it. Hood Bros.. Hare & Son, J. R. I^ed better. Hoax?"They tell me you've sold your house." Joax?"H'es: that's right. I had to." "Why?" "To pay my gas bill." ; Healthy Mothers Few mothers ere healthy, because | their duties arc so exacting. The anxiety of pregnancy, the shock of childbirth, and the care of young children, are | severe trials on any woman. But with Wine of Cardui within her grasp, every mother?every woman in the land -can pay the iebt of personal health she owej her loved ones. Do you want robust health with all its privileges and pleasures? Wine of Cardui will give it to you. WINE1 CARDUI strengthens the female organs and invig orates weakened functions. For every > female ill or weakness it is the best medicine made. Ask your druggist for $1.00 bottle Wine of Cardui, and take no substitute under any circumstances. Mr*. Edwin Crass. Gorra_r, Mirh.i "When 1 | commenced using Wm? of Csrdui I was hardly able I to walk across the house. Two weeks after I walked ' half a mile and picked strawberries. When my | other child was born 1 suffered with labor pains 24 hour*, and had to raise him on a bottle because I had . no milk. After using the Wine during pregnancy K| this time. 1 gave birth last month to a baby girl, and ? | was in labor only two hours, with but Utile pain, t and 1 have plenty of milk. For this great improve I 11lent in my health 1 thank God and Wine ol Cardui." I fe For advice in case* requiring special directions. F address, giving symptoms. "The Ladies' Advisory ? Department The Chat-11 tanooga Medicine Ca ll Chatteooog-i. Tcan. What's Spared. "It is an unappreciative world," said Miss Cayenne, with a sigh. "A great many people have found it so." "Yes. My friends ought to be very greatful to me, indeed, but thev're not." "For what?" "For the disagreeable things 1 ! think of and don't say."?Wash ington Star. "Last winter I was confined to i my bed with a very bad cold on the lungs. Nothing gave me re | lief. Finally my wife bought a bottle of One Minute Cough Cure that effected a speedy cure. 1 cannot speak too highly of that I excellent remedy."?Mr. T. Iv. Houseman, Manatawnev, Pa. Hare & Son, J. K. Led better, ! Hood Bros. I Tom Ties?"Say, what did ver tell me dat farmer was deaf an' dumb for?" Cliff Cinders?"I didn't say so." Tom Ties?"Yer j said he was talkin' with his hands," Cliff Cinders?"I meant his farm hands." "1 had piles so bad I could get | no rest nor find a cure until I ! tried DeWitt's Witch HazelSalve. ! After using it once, I forgot lever had anything like Piles."?E. C I Boice, Somers Point, N. Y. Look i out for imitations. Be sure you ask for DeWitt's. Hood Bros., Hare A Son, J. R. Ledbetter. The census of manufactures soon to be made public will make an sven better snowing for the South than the mere figures of i population. While this section tnis increased in population to a | verry gratifying extent, it has increased much faster in wealth, and thegrowthof itsruaiiufactur 1 ing interests has been phenome nal. Most of the cotton mills have been erected in the past ten years, and furniture manufactur I ing has been almost entirely a j matter of the past six years. ! North Carolina ought to make a fine showing in the census of manufactures and industries, j She is already called the ! "Massachusetts of the South" and deserves the title.?Raleigh j Times. To Cure a told In one Day Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All druggists refund the money if it fails to cure. E. W. Grove's signature on each j box. 25c. All who would win joy must share it; happiness was born a twin.?Byron. Spring coughs are specially dangerous and unless cured at once, serious results often follow. One Minute Cough Cure acts like magic. It is not a common mix ture but is a high grade remedy. J. R. ledbetter, Hood Bros.. Hare A Son. Abilty and necessity dwell near each other.?Phythagoras. ' Skin troubles, cuts, burns, scalds and chafing quickly heal by the use of DeWitt's Witch > Hazel Salve. It is imitated. Be sure you get DeWftc's. J. R. Ibetter. Hare & Son, Hood Bros. *? ? JOHN 51. TURLEY. W. EDGAR STA[.LINGS WE WISH To inform you that we have formed a copartnership under ths name of Turley & Stallings, and will keep for sale S Dry Goods, Notions, Shoes, GROCERIES AND GENERAL MERCHANDISE. BICYCLES AND BICYCLE SUPPLIES FOR SALE. Repairing Bicycles a Specialty. We ask your patronage. TURLEY & STALLINGS. A A Clayton, N. C At J. M. Turley'g old stand, near the depot. Come and Examine ^ ^ vis the big stock of ^ FarmingJTools jj| 1 HARDWARE ^of a"Kinds' f U/ Of Every Description S|V jjj HARROWS, CUUTIVATORS, 5 vis And Fertilizer Distributors PAINTS, OIL. VAU BUGGY AND WAGON IIAR US NISHE8, SASH, DOORS, NESS. COLLARS, BRl- 1* vis BLINDS, DLES, SADDLES. Ac., * vis * we have. /j| Vis sfi vis Watch This Ad. for a Change. If* t HALL'S HARDWARE HOUSE. * % W.L3 "HALL, f Salesmen. BENSON, N. C. j* X FINE MILLINERY JZ The best stock of Millinery and Fancy Goods ever brought to Clayton just received at my store. Ready-to wear and Dress Ilats. Newest styles and shapes. Dress Hats 50 cents and up, Laces, Trimmings, Neckwear, Belts, Baby Caps, Veiling, Gloves, Collars, Stamped Linen, Embroideries and every thing it the line of Notions that is usually kept in a millinery store. Standard Designer Patterns for Sale. You are invited to call and examine my stock. Respectfully, MRS, J. A. GRIFFIN, M20?2m CLAYTON, N. C. gWe are Opposite Post Office O Go to G. W. Peedin & Co. for your fresh groceries. ? ? We have just received a nice line of O $ ?V Patent and Half Patent Flour -V A V That is going as cheap as it it can be had We also V 9 have a nice line of Coffee, which we are selling at 10, jr V 11, 12i, and 15 cents. V o Our Oroceries are frtsh and Nict. 8 A X SHOES. A. X ? We have just received a nice line of Ladies' and Gents' Shoes that must ? A (to at very little profit. We also have a few Notions, that we wish to A V close out at cost, All we ask is a trial to convince ; ou. Y V Yours to please, V g G W. PEEDIN & COMPANY, g ? J14-tf Smithfield, N. C. ? AN IMPROVEMENT! My shop has been repaired and enlarged recently and I have added many things to my stock. I deal in Dressed Lumber and Mouldings for house building. Turning and Bracket Work *:?DONE TO ORDER fefefe I Building Material?such as Sash, Doors, Blinds, Locks, Hinges, Screws, cut and wire Nails, Window Glass, Putty, &c. Cart, Wagon and Buggy Material. Carpenters' Tools. Agent for Longman & Martinez Celebrated Paints. MACHINISTS* SUPPLIES. Including Belts, Bolts, Pipes, Fittings, Etc. Undertakers' Goods. I ask vour patronage. -o?J. E. PAGE, M2Q?tf -i-ij W " GldytOJP* N. C.
The Smithfield Herald (Smithfield, N.C.)
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April 5, 1901, edition 1
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