WE ARE A PATIENT PEOPLE. \ erdict of Jerome K. Jeroiue After a Fen Weeka' lu?i?eetioii. Jerome K. Jerome, the English hu morist, who recently lectured in Pitts burg. has been interviewed in Chicago on his impressions during his tour, says the Pittsburg Dispatch. First of all he indignantly denied that he pronounced his name Jerrurn K. Jerruin. "Jer-oam, please," he said. "A great deal of stress generally is laid on the fact that America is youth ful," he commented. "I should go even further and declare America extrava gantly boyish. You are like a big fami ly of healthy, rollicking boys, working with all their might, playing hard, but undisciplined, restive of restraint and often unmanageable. You are learning how to behave properly by experience. You go along here for a generation or so allowing your had toys, your gruft ers, as you cull tliein, to plunder you right and left, and suddenly you. wake up and say: "Here, this isn't right. We've got to reform this,' and then you take ten minutes off to do the Job It's hard on the grafters, poor fellows. Here tlicy have beeu going along with their plundering, thinking it was all right because every one else thought it was all right, and then suddenly they are called in and told they are naughty and are punished. "Then you are such a patient people. Why, today coming from the railway station with our bags?there are never any porters to carry one's luggage?we were stopped fully ten minutes by a train 011 a crossing. 1 was fuming with indignation, but my fellow Amer icans seemed to to enduring the out rage with good uatured patience. In England we should have made quite a row about it, written letters to the pa pers and had the railroad punished. "Yes, you have the virtue of exces sive meekness. The way the great ma jority allows itself to be tossed is sur prising. I've never been so much toss ed by men wearing brass buttons in my life. One can't leave his seat in the car or ojton a window without be ing tossed. One must wait until some one with buttons gives his permission to move. Y'ou meekly allow yourselves to to ordered about. "Over lu Kngland we boss the cab drivers and the policemen, but here they boss you. That's why I say that the Americans are meek." "How much of the rldicpious have you seen since you have been in Amer ica, Mr. Jerome?" "Nothing." < "Then we're not an amusing people?" "Far from it. You all seem to be foud of your mothers-in-law, and you never get drunk. As for swearing, why, every one swears so much that there's no humor to be derived from it." NEW WIRELESS TELEGRAPH. Letter* lMfttliifrtilfthed by Munleftl Tone*. GIvIiik Inereafied Speed. In the presence of a hundred repre sentative citizens of Scranton, Pa., a public test of the wireless telegraph system Invented by Rev. Joseph Mur gas was recently made between Scran ton and Wilkesbarre, a distance of eighteen miles, says a special from Scranton, I'a., to the Washington Post. Several messages were received and sent with precision and certainty. Dr. Van Hoagt, representing the national government at Washington, was an in terested spectator of the test and upon his report will depend in a great meas ure whether or not the system will be adopted by the government. The system differs from other wire less systems. Instead of using the Morse code, or alphabet of dots and dashes, each letter Is distinguished by a musical tone, which enables the mes sage to be sent and received at a speed of eight to ten times greater than that attained by other systems. Father Murgas also says that his instruments are so delicately adjusted that they can intercept messages sent by other sys tems and says that he" has intercepted several messages sent by ocean liners. WIND MADE ELECTRICITY. Imltunn Man I'erfectn a Device of F.ni*}' Adaptability. It. VV. Wilson of Westfield, Ind., is lighting his house anil workshop with wind made electricity through a device of his own. on which he has secured letters patent, says a specinl dispatch from Crawfordsville, Ind., to the Chi cago Inter Ocean. A windmill is used in pumping water into a hydraulic reg ulator. built on the principle of a hy draulic lift. The pressure is regulated by weights, and the water is admitted to the hydraulic chamber, and It is dis charged from It under seventy-five pounds pressure through valves work ing automatically. The water is then forced Into a gen erating plant and runs through a mo tor directly connected with a small dy namo. in this way there is a steady pressure, and enough electricity Is gen erated to provide ample light. The cost o( the windmill and electrical appara tus does not exceed $200, and Mr. Wil son asserts that every farmhouse can be easily supplied. The plant once es tablished runs comparatively without cost. Scented Ma'trnnneN. In Paris it Is the tad. It seems, to seek repose on scented mattresses, says the New York Press. Rags of different colored silks are made and filled with violet, heliotrope or lavender and sewed on the sides of the mattress. These bags, which Impart to the bed a dell clous fragrance, are tied with satin rib bons. Some of the scented mattresses are most elaborate affairs, and, though the dealers urge that they are sold for a mere song, it, strikes most women that they must be those "i ? gs" which are sung bv high class opera birds for society's edification. I A WAC.Nc... . .-CCOTE. 1i>? He SiiunrJ II!? Joy at a "Par* aiful** II -h?'!irKal. The following anecdote uf Wagner Is 'old by Alfred Keisenauer, the pianist, who, as a impil of Liszt, knew the composer of "Parsifal" personally. "Wagner was always more or less self conscious," says Leiseuauer, "ant! only at rare intervals did his friends M-e him in moods that could ^ callei anything but premeditated. In Bai reuth I saw him in a highly character lstlc situation, and 1 never shall for get it. It was at a rehearsal of Tar sifal.' The garden stvoj had Just beet admirably sung and danced, where upon \yaguer, In his exubcruut Joy. hugged and kissed the artists, and then, quite l>eside himself, got down on all fours and barked like u dog. con cluding his exhibition by throwing his legs in the air and balancing himself on his head. "At this interesting moment Liszt and several of his pupils, including myself, walked on the stage. Quick as I a flash, Liszt, who always played the I role of Wagner's self constituted de I fender, said grimly, 'Well, if that's a [ pose, it's the hardest one in the world i to hold, by thunder!' For the sake of 'lie meister we tried to restrain our mirth, but the effort was not wholly successful. I tlrmly believe, however, I that Wagner himself was secretly pleased at the sensation for which he I was resi>onsible."?Harper's Weekly. EFFECT OF IMAGINATION. i rrT - Man Bitten by lIurnil<*nM Sunk** Be lieved He Wan Dying. An English physician in India once told of an extraordinary case of the effect of imagination on the physical system. He says: "Some time ago on visiting the hos pital one morning I was told that a man had been admitted during the night suffering from a snake bite and that he was very low. I found him in a state of severe prostration; he was hardly able to speak and seemed to be in a state of great depression. He and his friends said that during the night in going into his hut a snake bit him on the foot; that he was much alarmed and rapidly passed into a state of in sensibility, when they brought him to the hospital. They and he considered that he was dying and evidently re garded his condition as hopeless. "On being asked for a description of the snake, they said they had caught It and brought it with them in a bottle. The bottle was produced, and the snake turned out to be a small, inno cent lyeodon. It was alive, though somewhat injured by the treatment it had received. "On explaining to the man and his friends that It was harmless, and with some difficulty making them believe it. the symptoms of poisoning rapidly dis appeared, and he left the hospital as well as he ever was in his life in a few hours." DOLL AVERTED WAR. KlntlneNN to Apache Child Prevented Trouble With the Indians. A doll once averted a war with red skins. An American general was try ing to put a band of Apaches back on their own territory, from which they hud persisted in breaking out. but could not catch them without killing them, and that he did not wish to do. His men captured a little Indian girl and took her to the fort. She was quiet all day, but her beady black eyes watched everything. When night came, however, she broke down, just as any white child would have done. The men tried In vain to comfort her, but finally the agent borrowed a beautiful doll from an oHirer's wife, which had be longed to her little daughter, and prom ised the Apache girl that she could have It if her sobs ceased. She then fell asleep. When morning came the doll was clasped in her arms. Eventually the little Apache girl, with her doll, was sent back to her people. When the child reached the Indians with the doll in her chubby hands It made n great sensation among them, and the next day the mother came with the child to the post. She was hospitably received, and through her the tribe was persuad ed to move back to its own territory.? New York Herald. A Venomonn Retort. "Don't take it so hard, Mr. Playn man," said the young woman mock ingly. "There are other girls, you know. There's 1,11 (lumplir.s, Sal lie Plimboru, Kate Isnoggles and Fan Bll liwtnk. Any one of them would make a better wife for you than I would." "I know it," ho said, swallowing a lump in his throat and turning to go. "If any one of thoao four girls had said yes, do you supjiose I would ever have thought of coming here for a wife?"? Chlcngo Tribune. Pnntnir It. "Are you ready?" asked the first man. "I am," came the answer In a firm tone. "Then come. We may as well know the worst." Closing the door behind them, they resolutely descended the stairs. When they rose from the boarding house table, however, they agreed that the meal had boon no worse than usual. Vila I Nib lk* AddrrM. Mrs. I.ittlowlt fpmndlyl?Only tost ii i. ;.! (.'(Juries has gone ' puonc gathering. I die n't know ho was a speechmaker. Mrs. Llttlewit?Nor I, but he has been called upon to make a statement before a meeting of his creditors. If a mm makes tie keep uiy dls - . t.< ? ?? lie keeps his at .....ie time.?Swift. 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