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Offislal Organ of Washington County.
FIRST OF ALI THE NEWS.
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VOL. X. 1 PLYMOUTH, N. C., FRIDAY, AUGUST 4, 1899. NO. 46.
THE TRUTH ABOUT
The Blue-Diamond Robbery.
Those who pay attention to the rec
ords of criminal cases, as reported by
the newspapers, and who have a good
memory for such matters, will recollect
years ago, by the trial of one Eobort
Morris for what was known aa "The
Blue-Diamond Bobbery." In the
minds of some, perhaps, the details of
this crime may be still fresh. But for the
benefit of that infinitely greater number
of persons whose memorial faculty is
only a nine days' affair, it -will be as
well to recapitulate all the facts of the
case before proceeding to the elucida
tion of one very mysterious point,
which at the time battled the cleverest
detectives in London.
First, then, for the recapitulation
of the facts, as disclosed before the
Bight Honorable the Lord Mayor at
the Mansion House and subsequently
before the Recorder of London at the
Old Bailey. The victim of the rob
bery was one Jacob Blumefeeld, an
Anglo-German Jew and a well-known
diamond merchant in Hatton Garden.
This gentlement, in the oourse of a
visit to the Dutch East Indies, with a
view to the purchase of pearls (in
which also he dealt) had picked up
from a native Sumatran, for a song,
six stones, which the vendor supposed
to be small, pale and therefore com
paratively worthless sapphires, but
which Blumefeeld's practised eye told
In' in of nnnt xraYtx IlinDA rnrent, nnd
costliest stones in the markot, viz.,
blue diamonds. It was stated in court,
I recollect, by expert witnesses, that
'there were not more than 80 blue dia
monds known to exist and that the
ratio of their value to ordinary dia
monds of the same size and water was
at least 100 to 1. On this basis the
six stones referred to, despite their
insignificant size, were worth fully
20,000; indeed, at the time wheu
they were stolen Blumefeeld was ne
gotiating a sale of them to Messrs.
Bostron, the Bond street jewelers, for
a sum several thousands in excess of
that amount. It may ba readily imag
ined, therefore, that the theft of such
gems excited no small sensation.
The circumstances of the theft were,
or appeared to be, sufficiently com
monplace. On the day of the robbery
Blumefeeld had carefully locked the
diamonds in his safe when li9 quitted
hi3 office at 6 o'clock. A't about 8 or
,9 the watchman who was on duty, and
who had received particular instruc
tions to keep an eye on Blumefeeld's
office, happened to catch the flash of a
light through the keyho'e, and push
ing open the door, which he fo.ind
unfastened, made his way ius:de and
actually caught the thief red-handed
in Blumefeeld's room. He at once
collared the fellow a small, weak man,
who made little resistance to his stal
wart captor and raised the alarm. In
a minute or two several coustab'es
were on the Bcene.and a little later an
inspector arrived, who lost no time in
ctespatcning a special uiesseui;er w
Blumefeeld's private residence in
On the diamond merchant's arrival
a thorough examination of the prem
ises was made, disclosing the fact
that his safe had been opeued with a
duplicate key, which, in fact, was
still in the lock, and that, whi'e every
thing else had been left uutouched,
the most valuable contents, namely,
the blue diamonds, ha I been ab
stracted. The thief, of course, was
then conveyed, without de'ay, to the
nearest police station and duly
charged by Blumefeeld, who now rec
ognized him as a man who had called
upon him at his office a few days pre
viously in reference to a propose!
purchase of gems, which had fallen
through. He recollected, also, that
he had had occasion to leave the
stranger alone in his office for a min
ute or two, when, probably, the lattsr
had managed to get an impression of
the lock of his safe. The prisoner
did not deny this. Nor, in spite of
the usual caution, did he make any
secret of the fact that he had broken
into the office for the purpose of steal
ing the blue diamonds.- But that he
had stolen them he stubbornly denieJ.
"Someone else had forestalled me,"
he said. "Iioundtbe safe open and
a key already in the lock. I'd got my
own" duplicate, but I didn't have to
use it If you search me you'll find it
in my waistcoat pocket."
In confessing he had entered the
office with felonious intent he was, of
aourse, only admitting as much as the
circumstances of his capture rendered
obvious and incontrovertible and, 60
far as that went, was doing himself
neither harm nor good. But his slate
ment'that he had been forestalled was
so clearly of the cock-and-bull type
that no credence whatever wa3 nat
urally attached to it. He was subjected
to the usual rigorous search. The du
plicate key, as he had said, was in his
waistcoat pocket, and in his coat pock
ets there Avere one or two other felo
nious instruments. Yet not a sign of
a blue diamond, nor any other jewel
or valuable, was found upon him. His
flotV'i, his boots, hia hat, his person,
eve ," J the inside of his month, vere
ngiti'iV and again examine1. Not a
trans nf tlio mianinep etona;! rnX tliis
was the more remarkable because he
had been collared red-handed, and from
that moment had no chance whatever
allowed him of throwing away or other
wise disposing of the stones.
"I tell you I haven't got them," he
kept persisting. "I'd have prigged
'em if I'd had the chance, I don't deny,
and it would be no use if I did. But
I was forestalled, I tell you. Some
other chap must have got in just be
fore me aud lifted 'em. You're only
wasting time aud trouble in searching
me. You are, indeed."
Of course, no attention was paid to
this ridiculous assertion, and after the
process of search had been repeated
again and again, Blumefeeld returned
with two of the police to his office in
Hatton Garden, where it was thought
possible that the thief might have
managed to drop the stones. But the
most careful scrutiny of every nook,
cranny and corner failed to discover
them. Blumefeeld, very naturally.fell
into a fine state of mind.
In the interval between the arrest
and his trial Blumefeeld obtained leave
to flee the prisoner in Newgate.
"Look here," he said to him (I am
condeusing the evidence subsequently
given by a warder at the trial), "I'll
make you an ofl'er. If you'll tell me
what you've done with those dia
monds, and enable me to recover them,
I'll pay 2000 to any representative of
yours you like to name. The money
shall be paid to him in cash here, in
your presence, and then you can have
it when you come out. You're not
making matters a bit better for your
self by sticking to that absurd and in
credible story. If anything, rather
worse, for you'll get dropped on more
heavily by taking that line than if you
do your best to restore me my stolen
property. Now, then, you'll be a fool
if you refuse; you will, upon my
"If I had stolen the diamonds, or
knew where they were, I'd close with
you like a shot, Mr. Blumefeeld, for
I know very well that I'm in for five
years, anyhow. But I didn't steal
them, aud I don't know where they
are any more than you do," answered
Moll is. "My story sounds unlikely
enough, I'm well aware. Maybe the
judge and jury won't believe it, either;
but it's true, and that's all abont it."
From this position true or false
nothing could induce him to budge.
The day of his trial arrived. The
case excited great interest, and tho
recorder's court was packed. There
were two counts in the indictment,
the one (I'm not a lawyer, aud I only
quote from memory, therefore I will
crave indulgence in case ray legal
phraseology be incorrect) the one of
"feloniously breaking into" Blume
feeld's premises in Hatton Garden; the
other of "diealing therefrom diamouds
to the valr.e of u0,000." To the for
mer the prisoner pleaded guilty, to the
latter not guilty, and the prosecution,
in the hope of procuring a more ex
emplary sentence, proceeded with the
hargeof stea iug the jewels. But
this was a difficult matter to prove.
Everybody, of course, was convinced
that Morris had stolen the diamonds;
but to establish it by the tech lical
rules of evidence was another affair.
Against the fact that he was cauahton
the premises, admittedly with the in
teution of stealing the diamonds, had
to be set the fact that no sign of a
diamond, or any - ther stolen article,
was found upon him when caught.
Furthermore, the circumstance of his
having refused Blumefeeld's offer of
200O,which was elicited by his coun
sel in evidence, went to some slight
extent in his favor. But this the
prosecution tried to discount by ad
vancing the theory that he must have
hod an accomplice who had made off
with the jewels and that the prisoner
would be hardly likely to give away
20,000 for 2000. On the other hand,
the defence urged that there was ab
solutely no evidence of ,the existence
of any accomplice; and, besides, after
the manner in which the theft of the
blue diamonds had been bruited abroad
aud advertised, it would be impossible
for the thief or thieves to dispose of
them for a quarter of their real value,
if indeed at all. In which contention,
of course, there was some truth.
The recorder summed up at consid
erable length a careful, equipoised
summing up, as I remember thinkiug
at the time, balanced, like the sen
tences in a Greek dialogue, with per
petual "on the onehauu"and "on the
other hand;" impartial, no doubt, but
colorless, and affording no assistance
whatever to the jury. The Iatter.after
considering their verdict for an hour
or so, at length brought the prisoner
in "not guilty" on this indictmeut.
He was theu sentenced on the other in
dictment to 20 months' hard labor, the
recorder observing that if anything
p; evous had Leen known against him,
which apparently there was not, he
nhould have sent him iuto penal servi
tude. Such is a brief a very brief re
capitulation of Hubert Morris's trial
and sentence in connection with the
theft of the bfae diamonds. .
I now coma to the important point
in mv storv.the onlv Dart of it which is
not mere recapitulation, namely the
elucidation of the mystery as imparted
to me only a few weeks ago by Morris
himself. I may take this opportunity
of saying that I am the doctor who at
tended the ex-convict in his last ill
ness, of which the fatal termination
came so recently as a fortnight eijee.
He died in a lodging in Bloomsbfl,ry,
in miserably poor circumstances, and
being unable to pay me any fee, im
parted to me his secret to do what I
could with, as a sort of last acknowledg
ment of my services.
"Doctor," he said to me one day,
about a week before he died, "I shan't
leave any effects behind me to pay
your bill. But I can leave you a lit
tle secret, which you might turn into
a nice sum of ready, if you set about
it the right way. Ah! what a fool I
was to go and make ducks and drakes
of all that oof 1 Do you know, doctor,
after I came out of shop I was worth
"Eight thousand!" I exclaimed.
"Then, you did steal the blue dia
monds? How did you manage to hide
"That's the secret I'm going to tell
you. Ah, doctor (he chuckled glee
fully; I'm not writing a moral tale;
I'm telling the truth, and the truth is
that Robert Morris was not in the
least penitent), "I had the diamonds
on me when I was caught; I had them
on me when I was searched at the sta
tion; I had them on me when I went
before the lord mayor; I had them on
me when I was tried at the Old Bailey,
I had them on me all the 20 months I
was in the stone jug aye, all the
"Impossible!" I cried. "You could
not have concealed them."
"Couldn't I, though? Ah, doctor,
I'll show you. Bring me that cup off
the washstand, - now. Do you see
what's in it?"
"Your grinders," I said, looking
down at the double set of false teeth
tying in the cup, "what about 'em?"
"Nice oues, eh?" he asked with a
leer and a wink.
"Very," I 'answered.
"Made 'em myself," he said, with
another chuckle. "The p'leere knew
I was a dentist's assistant, "to. Wonder
they never guessed."
"Take 'em out of the c ap," he told
I did so.
"There's a little mark at the side of
the plate," he went on. "It's a spring.
Press it with your thumb nail."
I obeyed his instruction. In an in
stant all the top grinders sprang open,
revealing to me the fact that each of
them was simply a small hollow re
ceptacle, contrived, as I saw on closer
examination, with the most artful skill
The sick man broke into a yet more
gleeful chuckle as he watched the
amazed wonder with which I was gaz
ing at .this marvellously clever effort
of skill and cunning.
"There!" he said, chuckling till he
couched himself speechless. "Not
so impossible after all eh, doctor?"
Subsequent inquiries which I ad
dressed to Morris himself elict6d the
following facts: That.recossnizingthe
extreme risk he ran of being caught,
he had had two duplicate keys of the
safe made, in order thai, by leaving
one of them in the lock, some color
might be lent to his assertion that he
had been anticipated by another thief.
The extremely clever contrivance of
his false teeth, however, was, of course,
his chef-d'oeuvre, aud he had put the
blue diamonds into those marvellously
contrived receptacles the momeut he
took them. Hardly were the teeth
safely back in his mouth before the
risk which he feared eventuated, and
he was pounced on by the watchman.
"But it was worth it," this impen
itent sinner told me. "Aye, if I'd got
five years, it would have been worth
it. They had my teeth out, too, so as
to examine my mouth more carefully.
I felt nervous jost then,I can tell you.
But it was O. K. For, sharp as the
fellows were, they never thought of
looking inside the teeth." London
Fox Nearly Caused a Tragedy.
Mrs. Beaupre, au aged French
woman of St. Denis, Me., was sitting
at the door of her home when a fox,
pursued by dogs, went under her
chair for safety. Believing it to be a
loup-garou, she screamed and fainted
away, whereupon the fox ran to the
fireplace and sought shelter in the
wide chimney. When Mrs. Beaupre'a
grandson arrived he found her uncon
scious with four strange dogs in the
room. Believing the dogs had killed
his grandmother he slew two of them
with an ase. As the survivors ran
out the door the fox escaped from tin
chimney aud hurried off to the woods,
New York Suu.
Saved From Drowning by an 8-Year-Old.
Annie, the four-year-old daughtei
of Frank Hoeninf?, narrowly escaped
drowning in the Blue Grass at Audu
bon, Iowa. She was returning from
church with two other girls when sh
slipped off the narrow improvised foot
bridge over the dam and slid down tin
chutes into the deep eddy below. Lit
tle Joe Allen, a lad eight years of age,
who was nearby, jumped in and pulled
her out after she had gone below the
surface the first time.
HINTS FOR HOUSEWIVES.
Keeping Ire from Melting.
However procured, even if it be ice
that has been put up by the user, ice
has cost something and should be
made to last as long as possible. Keep
the ice in a large piece so long as you
can, and wrap it in something that ia
a poor conductor of heat. Woolen
cloths are better than cotton, for they
conduct the heat less rapidly, Fapet
is better than woolen as it will not
admit air. If newspapers are used to
wrap ice in they can be thrown away
after they have served this purxiose
without any loss.
A Frequent Cause of Fire.
An unexpected but frequent cause
of fire is due to cleaning carpets on
the floor without taking them up.
Nearly all the preparations guaran
teed to make carpets good as new
without making it necessary to lift
them from the floor contain naphtha,
which has inflammable qualities in a
disagreeable degree. When used fox
cleaning carpets on the floor it soaks
into the floor boards to a greater oi
less extent, aud contact with an over
heated steam, hot air or hot water
pipe will do the rest.
To Clean and Preserve Oilcloth.
An oilcloth may be cleaned and
made to last as long again if treated
in the following manner : Cut into
pieces half an ounce of beeswax, put
in a faucer, cover entirely with tur
pentine and pl-ice in an oven until
melted. After washing the oilcloth
thoroughly with warm water and soap,
dry it and rub the whole surface
lightly with a bit of flannel dipped in
the melted wax and turpentine. Then
rub with a dry cloth. A polish is pro
duced and the surface is lightly coat
ed with the wax. When the floor re
quires to be cleauedthe wax is washed
off, together with the dust or dirt that
may have gathered, while the oilcloth
is preserved. In halls and rooms
where no grease falls on the floor it is
not necessary to wash the oilcloth after
the first application, but simply to
dust it well and polish it again with
the wax and turpentine.
To Have a Cosy Veranda.
Those people who have picturesque
verandas, where in summer much of
their time is spent, will find the low
willow couches, the broad, luxurious
armchairs and their dainty tables just
the things to turn the outdoor nooks
into habitable apartments. The ve
randa should be as much shaded by
vines as possible and then hung with
bamboo porch blinds.
The floor of the veranda is best
stained aud polished and ornamented
with one of the bright jute rugs that
exposure to the weather does not
spoil. A table in the centre of the
veranda for afternoon tea or maga
zines and books may be had in sev
eral shapes. Some of them are pro
vided with little uudershelves and are
made entirely of the wickerwork. The
couches are of various shapes. Some
of them are straight-backed affairs
covered wiih an upholstered fitted
mattress. Over this any quantity of
soft cushious may find a resting place,
to be used to prop up tired heads or
Spiced Veal Three pounds of veal,
chopped fine, eight crackers, rolled,
two eggs, one tablespoonful each ol
salt and pepper, one small onion,
minced, a piece of salt pork, chopped
fine. Mix well together and bake for
Scalloped Cauliflower Boil a medium-sized
cauliflower in slightly
Baited water until tender, make a bed
of the leaves, break up the flower aud
place it on top, covered with a sauce
made of one heaping tablespsoonful of
butter (melted), two tablespoonfuls
of bread crumbs, two tablespoonfuls
of milk, pepper and salt to taste, and
one beaten egg. Spi inkle with bread
crumbs and bake until a light brown.
Saratoga Potatoes Pare several
potatoes. Cut in very thin slices or
slice with a vegetable slicer. Put
them immediately iuto ice water fot
twenty minutes. Drain them and
dry on a towel. Put a few slices at a
time iuto the frying basket. Lower
the basket into the hot fat carefully
and slowly. When a delicate brown
turn them into a paper to drains
Sprinkle with salt. Fry only a few
at a time.
Frozen Kentucky Cream Take
three pints of rich cream, sweeten it
very sweet with powdered sugar,
whip it to a stiff froth with a cream
whip, put it in a freezer, packed in
an ice tub, turn the crank until the
cream is half frozen, then stir through
the cream a pound of raisins which
have been stoned, chopped fiue and
dredged with a little corn starch tc
keep them from sticking together in a
mass. Serve the cream in glass cups.
Canning Pineapple Pare and shred
the fruit into pieces of moderate size,
weigh and allow half a pound of sugai
to every pound of fruit. Put the fruit
with a little water into a porcelain
lined or graniteware preserving kettle,
cover closely, brinj? to a boil and cook
slowly for half an hour. At the ex
piration of that time add the sugar,
which has been previously heated in
the oven, and cook together ten min
utes. Fill the jars to overflowing an
QUAINT AND CURIOUS.
A family comprising seven persons
left Scranton, Peon., the other day,
the whole party trsve'ing ou one full
fare railroad ticket. There were the
mother and her three pairs of twins,
none of the children being up to the
half-fare age of five years.
A curious case is reported by a Ger
man dentist, Dr. Muhl Kuhner. One
of his patients was a woman of 24,
whose right arm and right side of the
neck had been paralyzed for two years
and a half as a result, it wa3 supposed,
of a fall and broken arm, and he filled
several of her teeth and extracted the
much-decayed third molar or wisdom
tooth of the right side. The patient
returned next day to state that her
paralysis had disappeared.
Here are a few n imes taken at ran
dom from the delinquent tax list of
Hawaii for 1898, as printed in one of
the Honolulu papers: Alapaki, Bila
Alapai, Ah Kui, Ah You, C. S. Ah Fat.
Boo Tau Tong, Bow Din, Doi, As Goo,
lokepa, Ellen Kahaunaela. Lukia
Kaholoholo, Leihulu Keohokaloe, Ka
hakumakalani, Not At aud B. Se.
The "Ks" take up three columns of
space, being three times as numerous
as the delinquents under any other
In reference to a recent paragraph
on mermaidens, a correspondent of
the London Telegraph writes: "It
may not be generally known that Ja
pan exports these shams in assorted
sizes, in glass cases, at so much per
foot-run. They are made of the body
of a fish and the dried head of a mon
key, so skillfully united that it is diffi
cult to detect where one begins and
the other ends. Of late the market
for mermaidens has been flat; at one
time they were fairly common in the
In 1550 a remarkable lamp was found
near Atestes, Padua, by a rustic, who
unearthed a terra-eotla urn contain
ing another urn in which was a lamp
placed between two cylindrical vessels,
one of gold and the other silver. Each
was full of a very pure liquid by whose
virtue the lamp had been kept shining
upward of fifteen hundred years. This
curious lamp was not meant to scare
away evil spirits from a tomb, but
was an attempt to perpetuate the pro
found knowledge of Maximus Olybius,
who effected this wonder by his skill
in the chemical art.
An Eug'ish agriculturist has been
experimenting with bees as letter car
riers. Having conveyed a hive to a
house four miles distant, he let out a
few of them in a room where a plate
of houey was placed to attract them.
When they had settled upon this feast
the experimenter fastened tiny dis
patches upon their baoks with a drop
of paste, taking care at. the same time
that the motion of their wings was
not interfered with. He then set
them free, whereupon they immedi
ately set out for their old home, where
the writing was read with a magnify
SULTAN'S GIFTS TO UNCLE SAM.
Tltey Were Sent to President Van Buren
and Caused No End of Trouble.
On the sevenlh day of the month of
Schawwal, in the year 1254 of the
Hegira which is the Arabian way of
writing Dec. 25, 1839 the Sultan of
Oman, whose name was Seyyid Saood,
Bin Sultan Bin Ahmed, addressed a
gracious letter to "His Excellency,
Martin Vau Bureu, President of the
United States of North America," in
which he informed the president that
he had sent him by the Boyal ship
Sultanee a few trifles as a token of
friendship and good feeling. These
trifles consisted of two Arabian horses
and their groom, one bottle of attar
of roses, two pieces of gold, five dem
ijohns of rose water, one Persian car
pet, one gold ornament with a silk
tassel, four camel's-bair shawls, one
gold-mounted sword, two large pearls,
a string of one hundred and fifty
pearls, one gold plate, one bottle of
diamonds, one gold snuff-box studded
with precious stones, and one box of
mixed pearls and diamouds. Under
the constitution, the president is pro
hibited from accepting a personal gift
from any foreign state or power, and
as the Sultan's gifts had arrived in
New York aud the commander of the
Sultanee would not leave the country
without presenting his master's offer
ings, an embarrassing complication
was the outcome. The matter was
finally referred to Congress, and after
three months of correspondence, red
tape, diplomacy aud legislation the
Sultan's Christmas presents were fi
nally accepted; and then the presi
dent was put to the trouble of selling
the horses, the shawls and the rose
water, while Uncle Sam was given the
further trouble of finding a suitable
place to store the remaining gifts.and
was afterward put to great expense in
capturing the thief who carried off the
entire collection in a baa; and was only
caught after a long chase. Ladies
"A prudent man," says a witty
Frenchman, "is like a pin. His head
prevents him from going too far,"
A-PUTTIN' UP THE HAY.
When hayin' time oomes round I go
And git the water jus
Lad take it over to the barn
And Kit a corn-cob plus;
Then go down to the pasture lot
And bridle Ma's old Gray,
and carry water for the men
A-puttin' up the hay.
I ride the horse down to the spring
And plump the jug right in
and if you put it down too deep
It bobs right ap ag'iu !
And then it '-bubble-bubble bubs,"
It goes jest that a-way.
Tour wrist It gits as cold as ice
A-puttia' up the hay,
Then, when it's full, I fasten It
To Uncle Bill's plow line
And drag it round. Fa says as that's
A lazy scheme of mine.
But you just bet I'd rather drag
A jug round any day
Then have to hold it on a horse
A-puttia' up the hay.
One day the doggoned jug it hit
A stone broke all to mash !
Then Pa he got a willow branch
And said that he would thrash .
Me good; but Uncle Bill said "Aw!
The boy must have some play."
By gosh i a' feller don't have much
. A-puttin' up the hay.
Harold Douglas Robins, ia Puck.
'In my business," said the coun
terfeiter, "I do not expert to lose any
thing on bad bill?."
"Didn't he once say he would never
speak to you again?" "Yes; but he
saw I had a cold, and he couldn't re
sist the temptation to tell me of a sure
"Doesn't your mother-in-law take
any interest in your domestic affairs?"
"Oh, yes; she backs up my wife and
the cook when I find fault with - the
dinner." r ,
Popper That boy of mine is a
regular phenomenon." Batcheller
(wearily) In what way? Popper
Six years old, and never said a bright
thing in his life.
Tommy Paw, what-is the differ
ence between economy and stinginess?
Mr. Flagg Saviug on my own clothes,
is economy and saving on your
mother's is stinginess.
"Why the dickens don't you stop?"
asked the angry householder. "The
fire is all out." "I allow it is," ad
mitted the leader of the hose company,
"but they is three winders not broke
Cleverton I want to consult y&ur
opinion on a point of etiquette. When
I take a girl to luncheon, is it proper
to ask her what she wants to eat? '
Dashaway It is if you have money
"Don't touch me," said the chry
santhemum, as it leaned away from,
the rose. "I would be foolish to at
tempt it," replied the rose; "it's , a
well-known fact that you haven't got
Teacher What are marsupials?
Boy Animals which have pouches in
their stomachs. Teacher And what,
do they have pouches for? Boy To
crawl into and conceal themselves ia
when they are pursued.
Miss Prim Don't let your dog bite
me, little boy. Boy He won't bite,
ma'am. Miss Prim But he is show
ing his teeth. Boy (with pride) Cer
tainly he is, ma'am; and if you had as
good teeth as he has you'd show 'em,
Weary Willy (thoughtfully) Ah,
lady! you are so young, so good, so
beautiful and so true, dat Mrs. Just
wed That what? Weary Willy Dat
it would be de height of rashness to
try and eat any of your cooking! so I
Young Housekeeper Have you any
nice ducks this morning? "Yes, here
are some nice canvas-backs." Young
Housekeeper Oh. dear! I am so in
experienced! I think I would rather ,
have the old-fashioned kind that have
"Uncle," said the scientific youth,
"don't you know that you ought to
have your drinking water boiled, so as
to kill the microbes?" "Well," ans
wered the oid gentleman, thought
fully, "I believe I would as lief be an,
aquarium as a cemetery."
The Other Side.
Optimists are pleasant people to
meet, but those who have business
dealings with them sometimes regret
the easy cheerfulness of thtir views.
Somebody once asked a distin
guished English barrister whom he met
at a railway station, where each was
waiting for a train, how he managed
when he was called in two ways at the
"Of course I can't be intwc places
at once," said the barrister, easily "so
I have to make a choice. For in?
stance: today two cases in which I am
concerned were" called in different
courts. One was in the interests of a
clergyman, and the other of a railway
"Ou the whole, it seemed wise for
me to stick to the railway company,
and leave the clergyman toprovidence.
And I won ray case."-
"Will yon allow vie to add," said a
mild-individnal, who had stood close
at hand during this conversation,
"may I be permitted to sny, sir, that
we lost ours."
The Liverpool doekR, one of the
wonders of modern commerce, extend
along the Mersey a distance of six and
a halt' miles.