John Henry
on
Christmas
Presents
By GEORGE V.HOBART
tWupyriKbi, by ilcCiuro Kewap&per (syndicate)
AY! Did you ever
take what little
was left and start
out to buy friend
wife a Christmas
token?
A quaint pastime,
! W11 ti
Well, to make a
long story lose its
l)1
5 V
A a few iron men to-
tr getner one morn
ing recently and
started out to find
something new and
nifty in the gift
line for Peaches.
I was breezing for
a department store when I ran across
Hep Hardy, limping in the direction
of a taxicab stand.
"Up late, aren't you, Hep?" I in
quired, glancing at the Waterbury.
"I sure am running behind my sched
ule this morning, John, Hep wheezed.
"Accident."
"What's the matter? Fuse blow out
and leave you and your favorite bar
tender in darkness?" I ventured.
"Nix," he answered; "I interpolated
a new step in the Tango about five
this a. m. and my partner, an impul
sive little thing from Spokane, didn't
get my signal, with the result that she
stepped on me and lost one of her
French heels somewhere between my
ankle and my instep. I had to wait
till a Doctor Shop was open so he
could probe for it. The medicine ped
dler found it all right and my left
wheel is a bit wobbly, but I'll be in
the roped arena tonight when the bell
rings, clamoring for my favorite rag,
you can bet on that, John, old pal."
"The dance bug has you for fair,
Wasn't it, Hep?" I laughed.
"Not at all," Hep came back; "but
. like a lot of other ginks who have been
going through life with stoop shoul
ders and plantation feet I've suddenly
discovered how to be graceful and I
have to stay up all night to see If
'Other people notice it. Where are you
going?"
"I'm going down to see one of those
stores and make a fool out of fifty dol
lars little Christmas present for'
Peaches," I answered.
"Fifty dollars!" Hep sneered. "Say,
John, if I had a wife, and we were
speaking to each other, fifty dollars
wouldn't buy the ribbon around the
bundle. Fifty dollars! You make a
noise like a pike."
"Sure!" I snapped back. "If you
had a wife you'd take her down to
your favorite jewelry store and let the
clerks throw diamonds at her till they
fell exhausted. But I'm just a regular
-A Lot of Eager Dames Were Pawing
Over Some Chinchilla Ribbon.
human being, working for a living, and
every time l see a hundred dollar bill
i get red in the face and want a drink
of water. Vou know, Hep, my father
didn't spend tiis life wrapping it up in
bundles and throwing it into an iron
voodshed against the time L became
old enougn to use it as a torch!"
"Say!" chirped Hep, who hadn't
paid the slightest attention to what I
was saying, "why don't you get her an
emerald necklace? Borne idea what?
1 saw one the other day for $3,000.
Wait a minute! I'll give you a card to
the manager."
"Give it to the chauffeur,' 1 said as
1 pushed Hep into the taxi. "By the
time he gets you home you'U owe him
enough to nuy emeralds.
Then i left him fiat and moseyed
oil for a department store to get. a
CV.riftmas prosent ir friend wi!e.
as
rXl tl; -i vou ever get tangled up in
one of those department store mobs
and have a crowd of perfect ladies use
you for a doormat?
I got mine!
, They certainly taught me: the Huer
ta glide, all right!
At the door a nice young man with
a pink necktie and a quick forehead
bowed to me.
"What do you wish?" he asked.
"Well," I said, "I'm down here to
get a Christmas present for friend
wife. I would like something which
would afford her great pleasure when
I give it to her and which I could use
afterward as a penwiper or a fishing
rod."
"Second floor to the right take
the elevator," said the man.
Did you ever try to take an eleva
tor in a department store and find
that 3,943 other American citizens and
citizenettes were also trying to take
the same elevator?
Hoyr sweet it is to mingle in the
arms of utter strangers and to feel
the pressure of a foot we never hope
to meet again!
I, was standing by one of the coun
ters on the second floor when a shrill
voice crept up over a few bales of dry
The Pale'Young Woman Fainted.
goods and said, "Are you a buyer or
a handler?"
"I am looking for a Christmas pres
ent for friend wife," I answered. "I
want to get something that will look
swell on the parlor table and may be
used later on as a tobacco jar or a
trouser stretcher!"
"Fourth floor to the left take the
elevator!" said the shrill voice, but
shriller.
With bowed head I walked away..
I began to feel sorry for friend wife.
Nobody seemed to be very much in
terested whether she got a Christmas
present or not.
On the fourth floor I stopped at a
counter where a lot of eager dames
were pawing over some chinchilla rib
bon and chiffon oversklrts.
It reminded me of the way an emo
tional hen digs up a grub in the gar
den.
I enjoyed the excitement of the game
for about ten minutes and then I
said to the clerk behind the counter
who was refereeing the match, "Can
you tell me where I can buy a ster
ling silver Christmas present for
friend wife which I could use after
ward as a night key or a bath sponge?"
"Fifth floor to the rear take the
elevator!" said the clerk.
On the fifth floor I went over to a
table where a young lady was selling
"The Life and Libraries of Andrew
Carnegie" at four dollars a month and
fifty cents a week, and in three years
it is yours if you don't lose the re
ceipts. She gave me a glad smile and I felt
a thrill of encouragement.
"Excuse me," I said, "but I am look
ing for a Christmas present for friend
wife which will make all the neigh
bors jealous, and which I can use aft
terward as an ash receiver or a pocket
flask."
The young lady cut out the giggles
and pointed, to the northwest.
I went over there.
To my surprise I found another
counter.
A pale young woman was behind it.
I was just about to ask her the fatal
question when a young man wearing
a ragtime expression on his face
rushed up and said to the pale young
lady behind the counter: "I am look
ing for a suitable present for a young
lady friend of mine with golden brown
hair. Could you please suggest some
thing?"
The pale young woman showed her
teeth and answered him in a low,
rumbling voice, and the man went
away.
Then came an old lady who said:
bought some organdie dress goods for
a shirt waist last Tuesday, and 1 would
like to exchange them for a music box
for my daughter's little boy, Freddie
if you please!''
The pale young woman again showed
her teeth and the old lady ducked for
cover.
After about fifty people had rushed
up to the pale young woman and then
rushed away again, I went over and
spoke to her.
'l am looking,' I said, "for a Chrisi-
I mas prsett lor menu wiie. i wanp
to get something that will give her a
great amount of pleasure and which I
can use later on as a pipe cleaner or a
pair of suspenders!" ,
The pale young woman fainted, so I
moved over, ; '
At another counter another young
lady said to me: "Have you been
waited on?"
"No," I replied; "I have been
stepped on, sat on and walked on, but
I have not yet been waited on."
"What do you wish?" inquired the
young woman.
"I am looking for a Christmas pres
ent for friend wife," he said. "I want
to buy her something that will bring
great joy to her heart, and which I
might use afterward as a pair of slip
pers or a shaving mug."
The young lady caught nte with her
dreamy eyes and held me up against
the wall.
"You," she screamed, "you complete
a total of 25,493 people who have been
in this department store today without
knowing what they are doing here,
and I refuse to be a human encylope
dia for the sake of eight dollars a
week. Go on, now; throw yourself in
to second speed and climb the hill!"
I began to apologize, but she
reached down under the counter and
pulled out a club.
"This," she said, with a wild look
in her side lamps, "this is happy Yule
tide, but, nevertheless, the next guy
that leaves his brains at home and
tries to make me tell him what is a
good Christmas present for his wife
will get a bitter wallop across the
forehead!"
The girl was right, so I went home
without a present.
I suppose I'll have to take Hep's tip
and get those emeralds after all.
But first I'll go down to the deli
catessen store and see if there's any
thing there.
THE MYSTERY OF CHRISTMAS
One Day of the Year That All Other
Days Are Learning to Envy
and Imitate.
It seems to me that always, as the
24th of December commenced to
shorten, the white, fleecy snow began
to fall, says a writer in the Crafts
man. When the street lamps flick
ered up like candles on an altar, they
gazed on a world that was white. The
strife of the city was muffled. Carts
went by, but you had to peer out
througn the blinds ,to know that they
were passing they made no sound.
An atmosphere of gentleness had de
scended. Everyone in the house went
about with stealth, as though planning
some secret kindness.
And then the night and the trying
to keep awake till Santa Claus should
come. And the waking up, with the
frost weaving patterns on the panes.
Somewhere far away a harp was be
ing played, and a cornet was challeng
ing the silence. The tune they played
was an accompaniment to the most
beautiful legend in the world. At
first, dreamily, you tried to remember
why for once the darkness was not
frightening, and then, "Ah, It's Chrisr
mas!" As you turned, your feet made
the paper crack, and at the end of the
bed you were too content and happy
even to look at your presents. Why
was it that next day everybody and
everything was different? The air was
full of bells singing riotously. Every
one, for this one day, ceased to think
of his own happiness and found hap
piness in bringing cheerfulness to
others. The stern gulf which is fixed
between children and grown-ups had
vanished there weren't any grown
ups. Somewhere m your cmidisn
heart you wondered why every day
couldn't be made a day of kindness.
And that wonder of a child's heart
is the Christmas message. Once a
year, by a divine conspiracy, all the
ships of our hopes and fears turn back
from their voyagings to the harbor of
tenderness. They are borne back on
the crest of a white tide of mysticism
that sweeps round the world. A truca
of God Is declared to all fightings, and
men and women walk as children
through a world that is kind. They
commence to give and cease to annex;
they act in the belief that God is in
his heaven. The spirit is one tremu
lous white day of unselfishness a day
which gradually some other days in
the year are learning to envy and imi
tate. Why We Burn Candles.
The custom of burning candles on
the Christmas tree comes from two
sources. The Romans burned candles
at the feast of Saturn as a sign of good
cheer, while the Jews burned candles
during the feast of the Dedication,
which happened to fall about the same
time as that of Saturn in the Roman
calendar. It is quite possible that
for this reason there would have been
many candles burning all over Pales
tine about the time of the birth of
Christ, and from this comes the term
"Feast of Lights," which is the name
used in the Greek church for Christ
mas day.
A Christmas Hint.
To those who may have become
tired of the old-fashioned games usual
at Christmas the following may be
found suitable:
Hunt up a lot of poor people that
have not got any Christmas dinner
and go and give them one.
N. B. This game may be played
by any number of persons.
Welcome to Christmas!
Christmas, crown 'o the year! Gold
en clasp to its round of light and
snadow. Truly the bells of it shall
ring out, Plague 1 Danifch, peace J
bring!" Welcome it royally. Spread
out tor soul and pense a feast of good
tilings. Martha McVViUlams.
SCHOOL
Lesson
(By E. O. SELLERS, Acting Director of
Sunday School Course of Moody Bible
Institute of Chicago.)
(Copyright; 1915, Western Newspaper Union.)
LESSON FOR DECEMBER 5
U22IAHS PRIDE AND PUNISH
MENT. ..
LESSON TEXT-II Chron. 26:8-10, 15-21.
GOLDEN TEXT A man's pride shall
bring him low, but he that la of a lowly
5plrit shall obtain honor. Prov. 293
R. V. -
Again we consider the southern
kingdom. No better character could
have been chosen to illustrate the
condition of rulers and people in the
declining days of Judah's glory. Uz
ziah ruled for 52 years and his reign
was almost midway between the days
of Solomon and those of the Babylon
ian captivity.
I. Priest and Parents, vv. 1-5. The
name Uzziah means "God has helped
me," and no king ever had better ad
vantages in the way of parents and
counselors. To the Influence of his
parents he yielded in his youth (v. 4),
followed the good counsel of Zacha
riah the prophet of God (v. 5), and
as long as he sought the Lord, "God
made him prosper." .Ancestry and en
vironment are not, however, a guar
anty of any perpetuity in character.
II. Pride, vv. 6-15. Uzziah or Azariah
(marg.) made a fine start and his
reign, considered as a whole, was
one of the most brilliant in Judah's
history. It bears some striking resem
blances to that of Solomon in that the
dangerous enemies became subject na
tions (v. 8). In the conduct of his
campaigns Uzziah "waxed exceeding
ly strong" (v. 8 R. V.) Uzziah alo
greatly improved and strengthened
Jerusalem and gave much heed to
stock raising and forestry (v. 10). The
secret of all of this prosperity was
that he sought Jehovah. Christen
dom is not Christianity, yet it is a
fact that in those lands where God
is most highly exalted and most near
ly followed we witness the greatest i
prosperity and men living amidst the
most comfortable surroundings. Seek
Jehovah, know his will as revealed in
his word, and do that will when
learned, is the only true basis of real
and lasting prosperity. Uzziah also
gave an exhibition of worldly wisdom
that he strengthened the defenses of
the nation (v. 9-10). Confidence in
God does not paralyze human energy
or make us presumptuous and care
less (I Chron. 27:25-31). Uzziah
brought the army. up to a high point
of efficiency (v. 13-15), using the
best weapons known in his day. We,
likewise, may be "marvelously helped''
from the same source and upon tha
same conditions; viz., that we "seek
the Lord" (Eph. 6:10; Phi. 5:13).
III. Punishment, vv. 16-21. (1) Pride
Uzziah's fall and shame is one of
the saddest chapters in history. His
strength became his ruin. "When he
was strong his heart was lifted up."
Poverty, struggle and adversity are
not passports to glory though they
have strengthened the moral, fiber of
thousands. The tempting tests of
prosperity, gilded, perfumed and at
tractive are, however, far more hard
to withstand. Pride always leads to (2)
Presumption Centuries before God
had warned men that prosperity
would lead to ruin (Deut. 8:11-17;
32:13-15) and Solomon also gave
warning (Prov. 16;18). The subtlety
of pride i3 the gradual way by which
we come to look upon our prosperity
as the work of our own hands, there
by forgetting the source of our pow
er and becoming filled with a feeling
of our own self-sufficiency. The next
step was that Uzziah assumed to him
self those duties (v. 16) which right
fully and exclusively belonged to the
priesthood (see Num. 16:40; 18:7; I
Kings 12:33; 12:1-4; Heb.5:4). (3) Pro
testing We now behold the strange
spectacle of the king protesting for
the wrong and the faithful priests
Azariah for the right. A sad specta
cle indeed when the head of a nation
openly avows the wrong and persists
in it despite the protests of the serv
ants of God. The last part of verse
18 indicates the extent and perver
sity cf Uzs-iah's pride. Admonition
only aroused the anger of the all-conquering
monarch. No honor ever
comes from disobeying God (I Sam.
2:30; Dan. 5:37). Uzziah apparently
(v. 13) was about to use the censer in
his hand as a weapon in execution
of his wrath, but God interfered (I
Peter 6:6-7). Azariah is saved and
Uzziah becomes a leper.
We must not press the teaching that
all sickness is the result of sin (read
Job).
Uzziah was forever separated (v.
21) and was in his death "unclean" be
cause "His heart was lifted to his de
struction." There are four suggestions in clos
ing: (1) Uzziah's pride had gone too
tar; secretly and perhaps unconscious
ly it had slowly, but surely permeated
his whole nature.
(2) Leprosy was a fitting punish
ment, for it was an emblem of the
foulness of hi3 sin.
(3) His leprous condition was in
marked contrast with what he had
tormyrly enjoyed.
. (4) His punishment shut him out ef
fectually from the worK of his king
dom ability, strength, experience and
in:DitiwTi foH oa:ore the blighting
"ast ot sin.
Perfection The
False and the True
BtREV.LW. cosnell
Superintendent ol Men, Moody Bible
Institute el Chicago
TEXT Not as though I had already at
tained, either wre already perfect. Let
us therefore as many as be perfect be
thus minded. Phil. 3:12, 15.
This text makes it clear that there
is a sense in which Christians can not
be perfect and an
other" sense in
which they may
be pertect.
The apostle
states clearly that
be has not already
attained, neither
I already perfect,
in as the Revised
Version reads,
"made perfect."
The verse preced
ing speaks of the
resurrection of
the dead, so that
his disavowal evi
dently has to dp
with the perfec
tion which will come in the future. It
may seem to some unnecessary that
a man should '.disavow this final per
fection since he is evidently not yet
raised from the dead; but the human
mind is capable of very strange things,
and this same apostle Paul speaks of
some in his day who taught that the
resurrection is past already. On
some such basis, it seems, that teach
ers arose who declared that even now
we may reach the perfection which be
longs to the resurrection state. The
apostle is clearly against auch a doc
trine. Bishop Moule, one ol the most saint
ly men the modern church has pro
duced, in commenting upon this pas
sage says: "As far as my own obser
vation goes, such views, (i. e. of per
fection) are not uncommonly attended,
in those who hold them, by a certain
oblivion to personal shortcomings and
inconsistencies; by an obscuration of
consciousness, and of conscience,
more or less marked, towards the sin
fulness of ordinary, everyday viola
tions of the law of holiness in respect
of meekness, humbleness of mind, long
suffering, sympathy, and other quiet
graces."
Indeed, the saints of all the ages
unite with Paul, in declaring that they
are not already perfect. The apostle,
after suffering many things for
Christ's sake so that he bore in his
body the marks of the Lord Jesus,
writes of himself as "chief of sinners."
John Bunyan although he spent twelve
years in Bedford jail for his Lord,
calls his life story "Grace Abounding
to the Chief of Sinners." When John
Wesley thought he was dying, he re
viewed his labors of sixty years, but
could find no peg upon which to hang
any hope of salvation; he could only
repeat the sentiment of the hymn,
I the chief of sinners am,
But Jesus died for me.
The same spirit was manifested by
Charles Spurgeon, who said during the
serious illness, that if he got well he
would have many things to preach,
but Just at that time four words were
enough for him, "Jesus died for me."
Dr. A. J. Gordon was a man of such
saintly character that his very face
gave evidence of the indwelling light.
But the other portion of our text
speaks of a sense in which we may
be perfect. The context shows that
the apostle is using the figure of a run
ner in a race. He has not yet at
tained the prize, but forgetting the
things which are behind and reaching
forth unto those which are before, he
presses toward the mark. It is this
attitude to which the word "perfect"
is applied. The man has laid aside
the weights and the easily besetting
sin; he is not content with what he
has attained, but forgetting that which
is behind, he presses : with neck
stretched forth and every muscle
strained, to the goal. It will be seen
at once that this sort of perfection is
very imperfect and is in no sense a
finality. It only prepares us to be
made perfect in the day of Christ's
coming. Nevertheless we are bound
by the grace of Christ to fulfill this
ideal and not to put him to shame.
Two matters are Involved In the ex
Uortation to be "thus minded." First
of all if we feel like the apostle, we
will have the lowly estimate of our
selves of which we have spoken, the
feeling that we have not attained.
Very far from Christian perfection is
pride; on the contrary, humility is its
very essence. Again, if we are per
fect in the sense of which the apostle
speaks, we will emulate him in
pressing forward for the prize of final
glory. This is the very opposite of
complacency as to our attainment. It
is said that Thorwaldsen once wept
because he was satisfied with a statue
he had made. "Alas," he said, "I shall
never improve now, for I have reached
my ideal." How ought they to be
aroused who, because they have come
to Christ and are living with some
consistency are satisfied! Life mani
fests itself by growth and he who is
not growing may well examine him
self to see whether he be in the taith
How good it is that the apostle pop;
on to assure us that 'If in anything
?p be otherwise minded, God ro
real even this (into you " May nt ,,t
us Rra"f to walk in this light:
Carefully Treat
Children's Colds
Neglect of children's colds often lays ih
foundation of serious lung trouble. Oa
the other hand, it U harmful to continu
ally dose delicate little stomachs with in
tenia! medicines or to keep the children
always indoors. i
Plenty of fresh sir in the bedroom and ft
good application of Tick's "Yap-D-Rub"
Salve over the throat and ohest at the firet
sign of trouble, will keep the little chaps
free from colds without injuring their di
gestions. 25c, 60o, or $1.0Q -a,
He Got It.
A negro boy, while walking along
the street, took off his hat and struck
at a wasp. He turned to a man and
said:
"I thought I got dat ar ol' wass."
"Didn't you?"
, "No, sah; but I" He snatched off
his hat and clapped his hand on the
top of his head, squatted, howled, and
said:
"Blame 'f I didn't git dat oie wass!'
HAD PELLAGRA;
IS NOW CURED
Hillsboro, Ala.-J. W. Turner, of this
place, says: "I ought to have written
you two weeks ago, but failed to do bo.
I got well and then forgot to write you.
I can get about like a 10-year-old boy;
you ought to see me run around and tend
to ray farm. I can go all day just like L
used to. I am so thankful to know there
is such a good remedy to cure people of
pellagra. . x '
There is no longer any doubt that pel
lagra can be cured. Don't delay until
it is too late. It is your duty to consult
the resourceful Baughn.
The symptoms hands red like sunburn,
skin peeling off, sore mouth, the"" lips,
throat and tongue a flaming red, with
much mucus and choking; indigestion and
nausea; either diarrhoea or constipation. .
There is hope; get Baughn's big Free
book on Pellagra and learn about the
remedy for Pellagra thtt has at last been
found. , Address American Compounding
Co., box 2090, Jasper, Ala., remembering
money is refunded in any case where the
remedy fails to cure. Adv.
Those Queens Again.
It I dreamed last night I took the
classiest queen on the campus to the
prom.
She Did I dance well?
To Fortify the System
Against Winter Cold
Many users of GROVE'S TASTELESS chill
TONIC make it a practice to take a number of
Dotties in trie lall to strengthen and fortify tbe
system against tbe culd weather during tbe
winter. Eyervon'- knows the tonic effect of
Quinine and Iron which this preparation con
tains in a tasteless ana acceptable Jorm. it
purifies and enriches the blood and builds up
the whole system. 50c. Adv.
Heard Down the Line.
Hobo Gimme er loaded acrobat.
Barkeep Wot's dat?
Hobo Tumbler full o' whisky. See?
Not Gray Hairs but Tired Kyes
make us look older than we are.. Keep your
Eyes young and you will look young. After
the Movies always Murine Your Eyes
Don 't tell your age.
The fact that the fool killer neglects
his business contributes much to tha
safety of most of us.
To keep clean and healthy take Dr.
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. They regulate
liver, bowels and stomach. Adv.
More often than not the inside tip
fails to win out. ,
Answer the Alarm!
A bad back makes a day's work twice
as hard. Backache usually comes from
weak kidneys, and if headaches, dizzi
ness or urinary disorders are added,
don't wait get help before dropsy,
gravel or Bright's disease set in. Doan's
Kidney Pills nave brought new life and
new strength to thousands of working
men and women. Used and recommend
ed the world over.
A South Carolina Case
"Every Pietw
Teua story
L. W. Garrison.
1510 S. Main St., An
derson. S. C, says:
"I was in terrible
shape with kidney
complaint. Often tbe
pain seized me in my
back and down I
would go, having to
be helped up. The
kidney secretions
were scanty and
filled with sediment
and I had awful diz
zy spells. Three
boxes of Doan's Kid
ney Pills cured me
and I haven't
suffered 'since."
Cet Doan's at Any Stora, EOc a Box
D OAN'S
FOSTER-MILE URN CO, BUFFALO, N. Y.
BackacfiS
inns
rheumatism, neuralgia, sprains ' JTj
chest pains disappear almoit ' lw -
magic when treated externally with '
Yager's Liniment.
YAGER'S
LIMMENT
Is a safe ind sure remedy
-"The Relief Was Instant"
Mr.Jo.E.Bnm.wlttyHawk,N.C.,wrltii
"1 iutfBrea with a most aevar pain
la my sil, Kubtied well with
Yer'i Linlmeiit relist .....i-.
m !nti)t,AlHohikllunipon
my le wbtuli cned (rood
deal ot pain anrttroulila. After
rubbing a few timet with
your I ulruent It emlrely dis
appeared' i
At all dtalert. AaetgM ounce
kottlt tor 2Sc trmni ?
iUVf I:.
Gilbert Bros. & Co., be
R.i'timnrs. Md.
1 1 AST
'A