PAGE SIX (SeconfrSectionT 1"
THE WAYNESVILLE MOUNTAINEER
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ggl The Wacky Side of News In 1946
rVntlniuwt r f Rt lfl I Hrlvup ft-on uD Ills rhnnt "kh In
Continued from Page Two)
horror of musical comedy and then
disappeared.
Jf scouted among his office lists
of musical players once again and
found the name of Betty Kean.
Betty is a pert, pretty, agile
comic of considerable talent, and
Herman took one look at her, noted
the dancing ability, the adept man
ner in which she tossed around her
lines, the in-tune-fashion she sang
the hit song, "South America, Take
It Away," and signed her practic
ally as she danced and warbled
The contract in his kick. Herman
sat back satisfied thai he was finite
a handy fellow.
It was not until Betty Kean had
finished rehearsals, had been ad
judged a fitting tollouup for lietl
Garrett that Herman Levin decid
ed to put her in the road troupe
which was goin on the prowl. But
he still needed a leading lad to
follow Betty into the New York
company.
Again Herman pei stied his talent
lists. Suddenly he again did a
double-lake as he glanced through
the pages.
There uas the identical face he
remembered from the musical
comedy flop of main months be
fore. It was the same face, only
more so. In fact, it was not Bett
Kean at all. The name under the
photograph was Jane Kean.
He read the biography under the
picture. He gasped He scratched
his noggin. He frowned Then he
started to smile. And off he went
to find .lane.
By ( AIM.!: MOIKil
AP New slcatuit's Writer
Listen, kiddie:
Of the wacky
. and you liall hear
;irt-. in .1 cl'. war
It was a year when
frantically cha.-ed a
blocks, then iliseo
know wh i ln- v ,
and neither mil !
When a C Iik :i
H.istor. 101
CI III, '. dll'l!
' him
o
torlley moi
trolie line
the track
Win n
gra h hi 1 1 !m
n;eai (oniii.
sinaeki d i i
who .hi. .
li
IN
wed !oi
l',H die
them so
del the
a tlnei'
-hoppi ;i
at a l'n
took tin
I ! WW
nth
M i:
y.y.
enh
Kl BKl 'WW
charged iihlii
pnse the I. no
Wis., .-iieiik.e
stead in ! he ih
his parent- ,i
the light- ,
who " Sir:,:,,: i
up in hi i1 Hi-
- i iiiutu'r win iNBwrrriJ ' - . I -Vr 1 f
I A.OMETWIKUS?" HE'S SO P llf THAT?
v I rSTW GENTLE HE'D Y I $f WHAT YOU )
f V-A-iiT I 4'to2 I PAT OFF YOUR tun I VVA THIKJK !
riSTTK WlllRSA W hand; ASfWS
l c . ' .7, m i i i w i arjwv vJ3i&. .
driver kept1 up his chant "step to
duck that haU bitten him the duck
bit him again.
IN SEPTEMBER a prisoner
liked Detroit's jaif,so well that he
refused to leave, am.1 the good old
Army still was goit' strong. It
sent an Englewood, tfj. J., veteran
a letter saying sorry it couldn't
bring over his English vVir bride.
It already had brought her over.
PA Kit THEATR
Waynesville, North i-
MATINEE SATURDAY 2 ad 9. " Lna
VTr.MT nniI7C . uu"ulf 2 and ,
' "U " a,,y SUNDAY 8:.tnll
nn "
rtuwiisiON PRICES:
OCTOBER Angry
orchestra leader had
mechanical drummer,
drummer invented a
because his
invented a
a Chicago
mechanical
Children Under 12 Years 12c ImlacT- p a
Adults, AH Seat, 5e Inciting r' T
Li
baton-waver ... In some war sur
plus goods he bought, a man in
East Weymouth, Mass., found Q4
bars of soap on which was stamp
ed: "Save soap to win the wa"
1 signed ) "Abraham Lincoln." Two
escaped New Jersey prisoners,
thumbing on a high-way, happily
crawled into a sedan which shop
ped. They hadn't noticed it was
full of prison guards.
MONDAY-TUESDAY DECKMBP.U :,
Guys From
Milwaukee"
urn
Two
Starring
DENNIS MORGAN u.,d JOAN .i:S.k
News of the Day
Short
ETTYPASS!(.4 I,,
r 1
JUIN6S
10 A PRETTY PASS
'-ashed.
i.
APRIL Culpeper. Va.. made
1 news- a right-handed i heck
'nk loi left-handed cheek writ-
He discovered that Jane Kean
really is Betty Kean s sister He
also discovered his mistake, which
wasn't a lasting mistake at all but
a double blessing from his heaven
ly, if slightly tilted, memory.
Jane had been the comedienne
in the musical which gasped briefly
and collapsed. She was, fortunate
ly, available right away. She signed
forthwith, started rehearsals to
step into Betty Garrett's role Jan.
fit h .
IN MAKCI!
iial to join ;h
because her role
lhal she nla eiu
and a cup 01 c
mento. Calif., tu
The cotfee was
choked. His la
and cut his lip
from his chair
into the corner
il' I,;,
ill
!'
.e 1 :i-n-pit;,i
-e I ,h t li -lipped
t i;n. i ,'ii he fell
ifi- heaii humped
ot I he table and
e - The city of Pueblo. Colo.,
had to put up new bars on the
a, pee.ple kepi petting the lions
1 -ti iiester County, N. Y.. hail no
lions, only make-believe apes. A
pi.iiikmg writer distributed letters
offering trained apes as servants
and fou nil a ready market.
-1
IN MAY something stuck at the
Tre.isuiA Dept. It owed a Dunkirk,
N. Y.. sailor a tax refund of $22,
instead sent him a cheek for $555,
555.5.1 ... A Marshall. Minn.,
judge fined himself for overtime
parking, and in St. Joseph, Mo.,
only 1 1 out of !)H cars passed a
safety test. One was a 1925 Model
T. But flivvers weren't the only
turners-about: a Jersey jackrabbit
chased a dog into a bush, kicked
the hejebbers out of hint and chas
ed him out again.
Jl'NK'S crook - of - the - month
stole three signs in Spokane,
Wash.; the signs said "John Scott
for sheriff." A Wilmington .Del.,
window cleaner was pinched for
looking into windows after work
ing hours, and a Hopeville. Ga..
landlord tried to get rid of his ten
ants by ripping the roof off the
house.
IN Jl'I.Y a l.os Angeles bus
the rear of the bus. please'' but no
body budged. So the driver got out
and went home ... A plane, char
tered by a helpless husband,
swooped low over an Oregon cot
taeg and a note addressed to his
wife -tumbled down tied to a rock.
Il said "please come home. I'm
out of clean sox."
ACGl'ST The MP that Ft.
Sheridan sent to Geneva, 111., to
pick up an A WO I- private went
AWOL too. and from a Glendale,
Calif , oll'ice somebody stole a
book. "The Art of Stealing Liter
ary Material." When a Dallas
postman took a reporter to see a
IN NOVEMBER A stranger
struggled on crutches into a I'air-
anks, Alaska, bar, had two drinks,
an out minus crutches. In San
Francisco a thief ciuicklv aban
doned a stolen ear when he dis
covered it was a hearse, complete
with corpse. An 11-year old in
Vancouver, Wash., in bed with a
broken leg, broke the other one
squirming around.
DECEMBER A Detroit drunk
was fined for stumbling into an
undertaker's parlor, going to sleep
in a casket ... A Washington wife
asked a divorce because her hus
band wouldn't let her play hill
billy records; a Des Moines wife
asked likewise because her hus
band, suffering from chronic lazi
ness, hadn't been out of bed in
seven years.
And now comes '47.
WEDNESDAY JANUARY 1
Under Nevada Skies11
Starring
ROY ROGERS and "GABBY" HAYl s
Short, Comedy and Serial
il
THURSDAY-FRIDAY JANUARY 2 ::
Never Say Goodbye"
Starring
ERROL FLYNN and ELEANOR PARKER
Fox News
Medford Enters 14th
Year As Active
Justice of Peace
k V. C. Medford is now beginnins
'his 18th year as Justice of Peace
in Waynesville
Mr. Medford has been an active
magistrate for the past 13 years,
and had been appointed to that of
fice four years previously. During
the 13 years he has heard 2.843
cases, civil and criminal, and
performed a large number of marriages.
STORY W ' '46 UN SIGN LANGUAGE
1:
When children cry, are upset and irri
table, with a coated tongue, they may
need a laxative TRIENA the chil
dren's own loxative effective, thonlu
o senna easy to take because if
flavored with prune
u.ce. TRY TRIENA.
Caution: use only as
directed. 30c, large
size, 50c.
1
I
Quickly Relieves Distress of
$neezy,Sfuffy
tap
a "
A little Va-tro-nol tin I
each nostril promptly i
relieves sniffly, stuffy
distress of head colds
makes breathing easier.
Alt Blips prevent many
colds from developing
If used in time. Try it!
You'll like it I Follow
directions la package.
VICKS VA-TRO riOi
J 1
1 bkl4 i ruhirS
1 i -SmMfm raffles OMSTRim -JJ&l j
: W!Ws - tmnrxMan mssssss imniin- n im i : 1
liHFffiZ$SA VfltQl : Vote f V' F f
iisssr M a.,x m 7M r 1 iir- -f ' r " VW :::' ill. I I lli 1 hllr TWH mm u w-t . Mk..
i Wits sfrw i ' Lmrl
r ii i
. . . . i
1.
The monuments we supply are
as enduring as time itself: . . .
modeled by craftsmen from the
finest granite and marble. A
wide range of prices and designs.
Write Us
We Call
SEE US BEFORE YOU BUY
, 1 AND SAVE!
MODERN
MEMORIALS
HtBdereoitville, N. C
JtiS Kdnura St. Phone 835-J
C A, Men-ell J. H. Men-ell
I'M YOUN&. BUT I'VE PREPARED
FOR THE FUTURE WITH A
JEFFERSON STANDARD
PROGRESSIVE
SPECIAL PLAN
v
I Mr. y.-'TSr nnrs nrfr it ir- -w
I T ' a. I cnrriMi ni ah i 1
A WISE MOVE. THAT
PLAN OFFERS YOU
FINANCIAL SECURITY
BECAUSE IT'S BASED
ON SYSTEMATIC
SAVINGS WITH A
GUARANTEED PROFIT.
IT'S FULLY PAID UP
IN 2Q YEARS.
A legacy of $5000 which Ben-
: jamin Franklin left to Boston upon
his death in 1790 grew to $431,
756.18 by 1890.
S. E. CONNATSER
SPECIAL REPRESENTATIVE
ROUTE 2 W AYNESVILLK
EVERY FORWARD
LOOKING YOONG
MAN SHOULD SEE
THE JEFFERSON
STANDARD AGENT
TODAY FOR
CKTLETi CETA1S
Don't Neglect Them I
Nature designed the kidney to d a
f&arveloufl job. Their task is to keep tli
flawing blood stream free of an rxrern of
toxic impurities. The act of living lift
ittelf is constantly producing waste
matter the kidneys must remove from
the blood if good heath is to endure.
When the kidneys fait to function as
Nature intended, there is retention of
waste that may cause body-wide dis
tress. One may suffer nagging backache,
persistent headache, attacks of dizziness,
getting up nights, swelling, puftiness
under the eyes feel tired, nervous, all
worn out.
Frequent, scanty or burning pasaagrs
are sometimes further evidence of kid
ney or bladder disturbance.
The recognized and proper treatment
h a diuretic medicine t". help the kidneya
Krid of excess poisonous body waste.
I Doan's PilU. They have bad more
than forty years of public approval. Are
endorsed the country over. Insist on
Dona's. Sold at all druft stores.
My,
how
she's
grown!
mmtm
Tl was
Sally
JL 'J-l. I 1... ... 1 "Jt
This is the snow-suit that fitted Sally so well only two years ago,
a little snug last winter, but still wearable. Now it's outgrown
needs a new outfit fast !
A lot businesses are in the same spot as Sally. Their facilities
are outgrown too. During the tight war years, they nursed old equip
ment along, patiently waiting for new materials and machines. Ami all
the time they, too, kept on growing. But a lot of things they've h-en
needing sfi7 aren't available.
That's why 60 many businesses our own ineluded 1'' :,"'
straining at the seams, waiting for the new outfits n u'
Thin is a friendly apology to those folks who've askel to 1'
to oiu crowded lines. Though we haven't gotten around to )" e
haven't forgotten you. We appreciate your patience, and want yon i"
know that -as soon as materials become available -we'll he happy
bring cheap, dependable electric service to you, too.
Lisitu u ih New Electric Hour-fA. IIOUH OF CHARM. Sdyi, '.M I' M - S1-LBS'
(car on ma powrn c tioiiT comp?J
5