Southern Bell Battles Buzzards - Gets The Bird Old Alexander Graham Bell's system of talking may have given you a few shocks in your time, but the really rude shocks have been saved for buzzards. Progress, it seems, has taken a lot of lnter-city talking off wires. And, according to C. T. McCuislon, Southern Bell Telephone manager In Waynesville, many long-distance calls are now carried on a nation wide radio relay system, parts of which criss-cross North Carolina. This new way the talking, as well as network radio and TV programs, rides from tower to tower along this 10,000-mile system on a stream of radio waves. , For Tar Heels radio relay has linked Greensboro, Winston-Salem, Charlotte, Asheviile, Durham, Ra leigh, Greenville, Washington and Wilmington, along with all the folks watching network TV from points in between. But trouble on the new system reared its ugly wings when buz zards started riding the air ways. Airborne, it seems, the bald headed, frock-coated sailors are objects of surprising grace. But once they lower their landing gear and puli up at the hangar they make a nuisance no airport would tolerate. And, according to the telephone manager, buzzards?flocks of them ?have been using a few of the 100-to - 300 - foot - high radio relay towers for landing fields and over night motels. So, after so many of these nightly fly-ins, the telephone company had to act. And at first it looked like a cinch to shoo off the s?-.sy fly-boys. < Mr Bell's successors rigged up a fierce-looking scare-crow. Com plete with scowls for fowls. Only thing was. the buzzards weren't moved. The big birds seemed to think the saggy man in baggy pants was a desk clerk. They just nodded as they checked in. And business got so good they hung out a "No Va cancy" sign. So the Bell System tried a new attack. They rigged up a commo tion generator?an electric motor which as it rotated banged a length of chain against a sheet of metal. Sounded like a tin roof in a hail storm?to humans, that is. To the buzzards it sounded like dinner music. And they flew in from miles around to listen to the outlandish'racket. Some radio relay towers in the multi-million dollar chain began to look like left-field bleachers at a Sunday double header. That's when the telephone tech nicians really tried to point up a solution. They built a buzzard gig ger. When one of the sober-sided sight-seers lighted on this contrap tion, his weight lowered the roost and dropped his stern on a hand spread of pointed gigs. This, in turn, spun the loaded gig-handle and fetched the buzzard a rap on the noodle. A truly ingeni ous mechanical marvel. But it didn't do the job. It did ruffle a few tail feather. And in one sense it got the point across. As a rooster booster it was some thing to crow about. The only thing was, there were Just too many roosters. So when the gig handle rotated, the buzzards did too. And even though it put some of the feather ed fliers on convalescent furlough, replacements were lfned up?on the towers?waiting. They seemed to get a bang out of the procedure. When last heard from, the phone company was considering installing buzzard mirrors on the towers. Force the ugly geezers to, look at themselves. That's a fate they rate. But the odds are they'd like what they saw. Buzzards, it seems, are just naturally hard to insult. Ask Southern Bell. They tried. And got the bird. KURT GANS "The Hon,e of Fine Watches" U /W1 ay we show you the sparkling # I I new look in diamond watches? #/ I BULOVAf 1 K% Petite ? \ M 23 JIWIIS ? FASHIONID IN DIAMONDS M from MS9JO \| I ? THE STORE i FINE?GIFTS * ^ J * w C t ? ? A thoughtful gift for family and friends Handy Extension Telephones i in Color J Gift-wrapped for Christmas Delivery Here's the ideal gift ? just the thing for those hard-to-give-to folks on your list These striking new phones add style and beauty to any room decor, save steps and time every day in the year. Delivered gift-wrapped and installed before or after Christmas, as desired. Billing can be arranged any way you prefer, regardless of where installed. To order, call the Telephone Business Office. Or better still, drop by and select the style and color of your choice. i Southern Bell Telephone and Telegraph Company 1 COMPLETING AIR FORCE TRAINING at Lackland Air Force Base, Texas, are these four WTHS graduates: James A. Fowler, son of J. K. Carver, of Waynesville; Donald Underwood, son of Mr. and Mrs Charles Underwood of Lake Junaluska: Robert Dwain Robinson son of Mr. and Mrs. R. D. Robinson of Haxelwood, and Jimmy Rowland, son of Mr. and Mrs. W. W. Rowland of Saunook. New Ordinance At Hazelwood School Enforced Chief Roy Stevens, of Hazel, wood said that no unloading of students would be permitted in the circle back of the school where buses unload. "All unloading of students from private cars will be confined to the West side of Virginia Avenue," the chief of police said. The East side of Virginia, the street in front of the school, will be closed to all parking Monday through Friday, from 7 a.m. until 4 p.m. The street is marked off and also designated with signs as to no parking. The new regulation is part of the stepped-up safety program, and by unloading on the West side no student has to cross the street amid heavy traffic. Persons failing to abide by the new ordinance will be cited into mayor's court, the officer explain ed. Marines Plan To Form Fourth Mountaineer Unit The Marine Recruiters are at it again. The Marine Recruiting Office in Asheville announced today that they they once again plan to re cruit a unit of men from Western North Carolina. t In the past, three such units have been enlisted by the Recruiters of this area and have been sent to recruit training as one group to be come part of this world famous organization. This unit will give the men of Western North Caro lina the opportunity to join and serve with their friends through their basic training. This unit is being sent to train ing on January 16, 1956, but en listments are being accepted im mediately for processing. The en listment period is for three or four years, but all men enlisted will not leave before January 16th, thus giving them the opportunity to be home through the Christmas Holi days. There is no limit to the num ber of men that may join. All men applying that meet the qualifica tions will be assured of leaving to gether. All interested young men be tween the ages of 17-31 are urged to contact T/Sgt. Lathrop at the Waynesville post office every Wed nesday and Thursday during De cember,..or he may be reached at his home in Hazelwood by calling GL 6-3145. United Fund Will Elect Officers 1 Wednesday Night The directors of the United Fund will hold their annual meet ing Wednesday, 7:30, in the com missioners room. The election of officers is slated to come up at the meeting. Dr. J. E. Fender is president: Miss Mary Medford, secretary, and J. B. Siler, treasurer. The organization's offices' have been moved from the basement of the court house to the third floor, in the room formerly occupied by the Soil Conservation' Administra tion. The latter organization has gone to the basement because of the additional space. Harrell Slated For Recruit Graduation Soon GREAT LAKES, 111. (FHTNC)? Billy J. Harrell. son of Mr. and Mrs. J. S. Harrell of Route 2, Waynesville, is scheduled to gradu ate from recruit training December 10 at the Naval Training Center, Great Lakes, 111. The nine weeks of "Boot Camp" includes drill and instruction in seamanship, gunnery, life saving, sea survival, boat handling, and the use of small arms. Following two weeks leave, graduates will be assigned to ship board duties or service schools de pending on the qualifications each has demonstrated. - ? Use Mountaineer Want Ads Lions To Start Clothes Project Late This Week Members of the Lions Welfare Committee will begin the anuual assignment of outfitting a number of children with cldthes this week. The Lions are working with Wel fare and school authorities on the project, and expect to spend about $1,500 in the purchase of warm, and needy clothing for the young sters. L. L. Lyda is general chairman of the committee. The clothing project is one of the 25 agencies incorporated in the United Fund this year. Cantpn Lions To Auction Steaks On Tuesday Canton Lions will hold an auo :ion of the 4-H and FFA fat calf Glenelle'g 1 Tuesd? lrid F orSUson wyj rca Victor BIG NEW SAVINGS! 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