Southern Bell Battles
Buzzards - Gets The Bird
Old Alexander Graham Bell's
system of talking may have given
you a few shocks in your time, but
the really rude shocks have been
saved for buzzards.
Progress, it seems, has taken a
lot of lnter-city talking off wires.
And, according to C. T. McCuislon,
Southern Bell Telephone manager
In Waynesville, many long-distance
calls are now carried on a nation
wide radio relay system, parts of
which criss-cross North Carolina.
This new way the talking, as well
as network radio and TV programs,
rides from tower to tower along
this 10,000-mile system on a stream
of radio waves. ,
For Tar Heels radio relay has
linked Greensboro, Winston-Salem,
Charlotte, Asheviile, Durham, Ra
leigh, Greenville, Washington and
Wilmington, along with all the
folks watching network TV from
points in between.
But trouble on the new system
reared its ugly wings when buz
zards started riding the air ways.
Airborne, it seems, the bald
headed, frock-coated sailors are
objects of surprising grace. But
once they lower their landing gear
and puli up at the hangar they
make a nuisance no airport would
tolerate.
And, according to the telephone
manager, buzzards?flocks of them
?have been using a few of the
100-to - 300 - foot - high radio relay
towers for landing fields and over
night motels. So, after so many of
these nightly fly-ins, the telephone
company had to act. And at first it
looked like a cinch to shoo off the
s?-.sy fly-boys. <
Mr Bell's successors rigged up
a fierce-looking scare-crow. Com
plete with scowls for fowls. Only
thing was. the buzzards weren't
moved.
The big birds seemed to think
the saggy man in baggy pants was
a desk clerk. They just nodded as
they checked in. And business got
so good they hung out a "No Va
cancy" sign.
So the Bell System tried a new
attack. They rigged up a commo
tion generator?an electric motor
which as it rotated banged a length
of chain against a sheet of metal.
Sounded like a tin roof in a hail
storm?to humans, that is.
To the buzzards it sounded like
dinner music. And they flew in
from miles around to listen to the
outlandish'racket. Some radio relay
towers in the multi-million dollar
chain began to look like left-field
bleachers at a Sunday double
header.
That's when the telephone tech
nicians really tried to point up a
solution. They built a buzzard gig
ger. When one of the sober-sided
sight-seers lighted on this contrap
tion, his weight lowered the roost
and dropped his stern on a hand
spread of pointed gigs.
This, in turn, spun the loaded
gig-handle and fetched the buzzard
a rap on the noodle. A truly ingeni
ous mechanical marvel.
But it didn't do the job. It did
ruffle a few tail feather. And in
one sense it got the point across.
As a rooster booster it was some
thing to crow about. The only thing
was, there were Just too many
roosters.
So when the gig handle rotated,
the buzzards did too. And even
though it put some of the feather
ed fliers on convalescent furlough,
replacements were lfned up?on
the towers?waiting. They seemed
to get a bang out of the procedure.
When last heard from, the phone
company was considering installing
buzzard mirrors on the towers.
Force the ugly geezers to, look at
themselves. That's a fate they rate.
But the odds are they'd like what
they saw. Buzzards, it seems, are
just naturally hard to insult. Ask
Southern Bell. They tried.
And got the bird.
KURT GANS "The Hon,e of Fine Watches"
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A thoughtful gift
for family and friends
Handy
Extension
Telephones i
in Color J
Gift-wrapped
for Christmas
Delivery
Here's the ideal gift ? just the thing
for those hard-to-give-to folks on your list
These striking new phones add style
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gift-wrapped and installed before or after Christmas,
as desired. Billing can be arranged any way you
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i
Southern Bell
Telephone and Telegraph Company
1
COMPLETING AIR FORCE TRAINING at Lackland Air Force
Base, Texas, are these four WTHS graduates: James A. Fowler,
son of J. K. Carver, of Waynesville; Donald Underwood, son of Mr.
and Mrs Charles Underwood of Lake Junaluska: Robert Dwain
Robinson son of Mr. and Mrs. R. D. Robinson of Haxelwood, and
Jimmy Rowland, son of Mr. and Mrs. W. W. Rowland of Saunook.
New Ordinance
At Hazelwood
School Enforced
Chief Roy Stevens, of Hazel,
wood said that no unloading of
students would be permitted in
the circle back of the school where
buses unload.
"All unloading of students from
private cars will be confined to the
West side of Virginia Avenue,"
the chief of police said.
The East side of Virginia, the
street in front of the school, will
be closed to all parking Monday
through Friday, from 7 a.m. until
4 p.m. The street is marked off
and also designated with signs as
to no parking.
The new regulation is part of
the stepped-up safety program,
and by unloading on the West side
no student has to cross the street
amid heavy traffic.
Persons failing to abide by the
new ordinance will be cited into
mayor's court, the officer explain
ed.
Marines Plan
To Form Fourth
Mountaineer Unit
The Marine Recruiters are at it
again.
The Marine Recruiting Office in
Asheville announced today that
they they once again plan to re
cruit a unit of men from Western
North Carolina.
t
In the past, three such units have
been enlisted by the Recruiters of
this area and have been sent to
recruit training as one group to be
come part of this world famous
organization. This unit will give
the men of Western North Caro
lina the opportunity to join and
serve with their friends through
their basic training.
This unit is being sent to train
ing on January 16, 1956, but en
listments are being accepted im
mediately for processing. The en
listment period is for three or
four years, but all men enlisted will
not leave before January 16th, thus
giving them the opportunity to be
home through the Christmas Holi
days. There is no limit to the num
ber of men that may join. All men
applying that meet the qualifica
tions will be assured of leaving to
gether.
All interested young men be
tween the ages of 17-31 are urged
to contact T/Sgt. Lathrop at the
Waynesville post office every Wed
nesday and Thursday during De
cember,..or he may be reached at
his home in Hazelwood by calling
GL 6-3145.
United Fund Will
Elect Officers 1
Wednesday Night
The directors of the United
Fund will hold their annual meet
ing Wednesday, 7:30, in the com
missioners room. The election of
officers is slated to come up at the
meeting.
Dr. J. E. Fender is president:
Miss Mary Medford, secretary, and
J. B. Siler, treasurer.
The organization's offices' have
been moved from the basement of
the court house to the third floor,
in the room formerly occupied by
the Soil Conservation' Administra
tion. The latter organization has
gone to the basement because of
the additional space.
Harrell Slated For
Recruit Graduation Soon
GREAT LAKES, 111. (FHTNC)?
Billy J. Harrell. son of Mr. and
Mrs. J. S. Harrell of Route 2,
Waynesville, is scheduled to gradu
ate from recruit training December
10 at the Naval Training Center,
Great Lakes, 111.
The nine weeks of "Boot Camp"
includes drill and instruction in
seamanship, gunnery, life saving,
sea survival, boat handling, and the
use of small arms.
Following two weeks leave,
graduates will be assigned to ship
board duties or service schools de
pending on the qualifications each
has demonstrated.
- ?
Use Mountaineer Want Ads
Lions To Start
Clothes Project
Late This Week
Members of the Lions Welfare
Committee will begin the anuual
assignment of outfitting a number
of children with cldthes this week.
The Lions are working with Wel
fare and school authorities on the
project, and expect to spend about
$1,500 in the purchase of warm,
and needy clothing for the young
sters.
L. L. Lyda is general chairman of
the committee.
The clothing project is one of
the 25 agencies incorporated in the
United Fund this year.
Cantpn Lions To Auction
Steaks On Tuesday
Canton Lions will hold an auo
:ion of the 4-H and FFA fat calf
Glenelle'g 1 Tuesd?
lrid F orSUson wyj
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? 1