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.J CAKCL V
A Split Second Later He
By James J. Montague
THE ,' whistle bad blown, the
gong had sounded.. From his
post by the gang plank a Bail
or man had repeatedly cried "All
ashore that's going ashore," and
turned away to other duties. ' The
captain and bis subordinates were
on the bridge, and the engineer him
self presumably stood by the throt
tle, for this was small liner and
required no gold braid on the en
gine room or costly flotilla of tug
boats to swing her out Into , the
stream. Deep within the bellyof
the craft sounded a gong, and on
deck one feit a slight tremor. Ob
viously we were on our way. '
Looking toward the shore I ob
served, a human figure approaching,
and gesticulating as It approached.
Its occupant wasted no breath ita
sound, but applied himself only to
the serious and obvlouslyimportant
business of Joining our Tea gel be
fore it was everlastingly too late.
He ran low to the - ground, only
glancing up now and then to Bote
bow wide a gap the ship had opened
between ber and himself. . There was
perhaps four or, fire feet to clear
when be set bis right foot on the
string piece. While the passengers
stood1 ..gasping, the. runner; slightly
coiled .bis .figure,, then opened It
swiftly out and took off. A split sec
ond later he was sprawling on the
; Ideck, engaged In a violent effort to
(regain the breath that had been
knocked out of him by bis contact
.with the deck.
Presently be succeeded in this
highly important undertaking, and
looked up, at first in trepidation at
the bridge, afterward curiously at
those of us who stood near his
lighting place. Bis eye met mine.
(After a second look to make sure he
said, slowly and painfully:
I "Always late, ain't ir
f "But this time you at least man
aged to arrive," I said, while the
spectators, having been deprived of
;the spectacle of a man plunging
Into the uttermost depths of the
harbor bad begun to walk slowly
; "Yep," said the Informal visitor,
I Be was. Indeed, for he was a reg-
nlar member of the crew, and that
meant a job at least as long as it
required the ship to Journey from
New York to Savannah. And for
this young man that was consider
The next day I found him engaged
lln polishing the brass work , and
other shining metal trimmings . on
the boat deck. Anxious to learn
.where and how he had occupied
.himself since we last bad foregath
ered on' another ship and In another
iport, I inquired of him if It would
'be too violative of. ship's disclplne
If he dropped In on me In my room
ritirlnff his watch below. He ' said
(that It could be managed, and that
night be arrived, bearing In a news
paper under his arm a package
which It would be permissible to
open after we passed the ten-mile
limit . ; -
i ' Having nothing of any Import to
tell about himself, I asked him to
pick up his story from the time I
had last seen him, almost on. the
other side of the world. .
( I listed my questions In the or
Sfler of their importance.
. "What bad become of the whale
xaruiing euieryriBc i ,
"Bad he sot any steamship, mag
nate to listen to bis scheme to have
trout pool, and thicket for grouse
booting on a great liner J" r t
"Had he perfected his five lap to
the mile track so that small motor
cars . cuuiu aw rocvu vu muijp uoaru
(during royagef - .,..
"And had be pursued a ny further
Sis researches Into the possible use
ulness of electric eetar v ;;yr;
' All' VI W w UV UV UI0 m
tdea," he said. "And that would of
teen all right If rd of had. sense
enough to get out In time. An' you
can't hang that on me very hard,
for look at all them birds In the
stock market who thought a good
thing was: gofn'- to last 'forever.
Where are they nowT";? ? ; : ,
"But what about the eels? I In
Wat Sprawling on the Deck.
You can't get away from the fact
that the Juice la In 'em. but glttln
it out an' makln' it of commercial
use was the trouble." ' -
"About five years ago when t was
to the tropics I stepped off the
freighter 1 was servln on without
speakln' to the skipper about it, an'
got some boys ashore to show me
where these here eels was doln'
their stuff. After glggln' for 'em for
three weeks I had enough to start;
an' build me a pond so ( could get
them at work. But I ain't no engi
neer, an' 'though I tried every way
I could think of to get the Juice out
of them wriggling flab an' Into a
storage battery, it wasn't no good.
"But I ain't no quitter. What does
a promoter do when scheme blows
op oa him? I says to myself. He
onloads It onto somebody else'
answers back. An' that was what I
Started out to do. J got feller who
runs a newspaper down In one of
them Island towns to do my prlntln'
for me, an' we sent out circulars
about our eel farm, an' how before
very long all the machinery In them
parts would be run. by eel power,
an' when eel give out, which he
seldom done, you could get enough
meat off of him to pay all the over
head. V i v-'.,;vf -5 .-,6tr'"'iW'-t-
"By an' by I got a few bites from
people who lived oh some of 'the big
islands, but most of 'em wanted to
know bow they was to tell If these
was real electric eels I. bad to sell.
or Just common eels without no
kick into 'em. So I wrote 'em all
that If they -would get somebody on
my Island that they knew an trust
ed to see a demonstration I'd prove
that my eels was the real McCoy an'
would supply power as advertised.
By that time it struck me it might
be a good plan to find out something
myself about them fish before I
took a chance on a public exhibi
tion. .V -,,
."Well, I got some ship engineers,
an' other educated fellers to come
an' see the rest, an' to bring com
passes along which would point to
any place, an' so prove ' eels , was
electrical. An' blast me If ary eel
made the least impression on. any
compass you could rig not even on
a magnetized needle floatin on a
crock In a basin of water.
"Of course I didn't want to be
stuck with a lot of useless eels on
my hands, so I did what anybody
else would of done In my place. : I
advertised in newspapers in conn-
countries where they didn't have Wl
electric power, but needed Tt bad.
An' by an' by I began to get let
ters of inquiry, and not only that
but letters with money In 'em. I
kept up supplyln' 'em with Informa
tion about our plant an' bow .we was
improvln' the breed of eels, an' how
before five years you could send
eels all over the world to run little
local electrical machinery, an' the
money cosae" In so fast-that I fig-
gered I had my fortune all made. ,
-An' then one day quiet little
feller comes along an', asks to see
the eels work. ,. I tried to stall him
off. but . be Insisted, so. I took
chance' and ..let him come ; to the
plant ' He Just looked at my stock
once, an' then says: 'What country
does this Island belong tor ',
"Well, J told him. . What else
could I dor An' the' next week a
cablegram .come to the main office,'
an' a bunch of local' cops come Out
an looked me over an' give me two
days to get out of the placeman
take my eels with me. What do you
think "of tbatt ?f '.:'?!Vi:
"Here I was doln what many a
supposed - big: business -man has
done, an" I got kicked practically
off the ocean for It, an had to go
back to work as a deck hand. It
alnt right; I tea you. No wonder
there's so many Reds an Soviets'
and things growln' up all around as.".
Landing Fields Close Together
Landing fields and airports In the
United States mathematically aver
age only 13tt miles apart, accord
ing to figures received by the op
erations department of Eastern Air
Lines from the Bureau of Air Com
merce. There are - 2,297 landing
fields and 80,000 miles of air routes
over which fly panwr,. air mall
and exprr.'.'s p!nnil ' r tv t' ' f.
rr c 1 1 ' i i ' t
-y J C II I J CLAfCE
). Bell 8vti.!l(-iit-VfNU Srvlo
It has been a loi.g time since par
ents believed that it was the duty
, of a school teach-
... er, entrusted with
tne edncat0n of
- - i young people to
"lick 'em, an larn em."
I am told that corporal punish
ment la nonexistent-In the schools
' In my time it was pretty preva
lent, too much so for the happiness
of myself and my fellow pupils.;
But I, do not believe It ever did
any good... j .
Today, the teachers profession,
while still not paid as highly as it
should be,, la the most important
calling in any civilued. country.
The , teachers themselves have
been taught scientifically. They
know better how to gain and bold
the attention of their pupils..
They are more tolerant with dul
lards, who,' from no fault of their
own, are slow to learn. -. "
School teaching Is a highly Im
portant buBlnees. i t , n
; It is important because it arouses
In the minds of young; people a de
sire tor knowledge.
-:i":. V( .'.'" S A ' "
Convince a youngster that the
more be knows, the happier, and.
probably, the. more successful he
will be, and more than half tbe bat
tle Is accomplished. ,
Tbe teachers In this country are
very 'well paid, according to the
But they are not as well paid
as chauffeurs, or horse trainers; or
baseball - players, whose value to
the. world is very much less than
their- owii.';-;'.!:':' VJ;':;-?
Today, fortunately in this coon
try,- education 'Is compulsory.
I But compulsory or voluntary, yon
must want It, or you will not get it
You must t inun$ted and mbi-
tiota, and dturmintd to 'gel out of
youhelf ine but rtnUU pouibU.
Otherwise.: the time 'you- have
spent In learning will be of no pos
sible use to you.
In these days of colleges and ed
ucational Institutions of ail kinds It
Is getting harder and harder for a
half-taught boy or girl to get any
position at. 'W''fi:':'t'
This has been .especially evident
In: the' last vear or so. 'ris -k '
But those wtto suffer the least
from the conditions out of which
we are now passing are those who
have used their opportunities to
stock their minds..
If every young man or woman.
starting out In life knew exactly
- in what direction
; What ; tp go, there Would.
Women Do not be nearly so
,-, t 'many, failures In
life. . But unfortunately, what one
wants to do, and what one can do
best.' are not always tbe same, ,- ':
If yon asked the average high
school girl today what ' her chosen
walk In life would be, she would
probably tell you that she would
rather be a motion, picture Actress
than anything elsfc-.f... .,. ,
And one time out. of a hundred,'
a motion picture actress life might
be open to ber , if , she . worked
In the other ninety-nine cases, if
she persisted and got as far as Hoi
lywood, the .result , would only be
disappointment, perhaps tragedy.
The people who do not know
what they want to do are still in a
majority, and they are to be pitied.!
They- may have Mai Intelligence
and ability, sometimes actual tal
ent " - , , iiSKV'A.
But if they try this thing and
that and are . hoping) that some
new opportunity will turn up to
give them .-a chance, their whole
life may be wrecked. . ' ;
Today conditions of this kind
are not so serious ' as they used
There are wider opportunities for
women. Indeed, in many t cases, .
women are doing the same kind of
work that men are and gaining fame
and fortune. ' "! v .
i But these are exceptions. ',-' i ..
'What the average glr ought tfl do
Is to get -married and have a fam
ily of ber"owa;Av?!';:ii:iy!! , o
And - that . Is : what ' she usually
does, if she ha the chance. , t
But if the chance doesn't come
along and it often doesn't the fu-t
ture looka. very dark. :- ,
But the clouds are not so menac
ing as 'they were, : -1 i ii
i ton find shops of all kinds, once
operated only by men, with wom
en at their head, often the owners
of tb''ptacft";f 'yt 1
One of the largest chain of restau
rants In. Mew York Is runv by
woman, with great success.
Women have v wide opportunities
when they go to work In big depart
ment .stores, sod often earn sal
arles that would put some of their
male workers In tbe shade.
And al this' has been , accom.
pushed within the. last, twenty or
thirty years"-. ..(.; :
And M remit man u beginning
to find out that th wordt "superior
" art an a " roiihm. i
V in r ""
tCttijiH. W. K P- :
' ' :.,V:V. ;V.'.. ' :1;
FINNEY OF THE
i f IXi TO i i taw f W
. . Airt'f IT ? Oi'vE
TASK fE2. TCOMfc ; .vr
1 rt.fZ jLtT' ME. mm
Mr'I'W - . ww.
If BE YER VJIFE SHE BE
WAMTlM V&X' I M COURT
CLAIMS. Ye?r- f?.Ayl
a) WMra NwMpr Vmuym
. ' " '
THE FEATHERHEADS .JZJZ?'-' Wind Out of Her Sails
- Y HERE HE Comes AT "
. .LAST PAT DAY NKfHT . S
AND JUsI . SB
So' Vo YOU B-i CHANCE
vjiTh "Thosct r7
3TACKALS Y r-' li
mm " eft- r-r '
- ty1 ---J.-.f. '.,.,.1..; l '! ,V-, 1
WHO? Nlfct.-N w e7
-ANP AIT -TILL.
. VrVKlAT ELSE. SH6
VELLArlERE" .Lf r KMOW WHERt?
PoYoti thimk I We.eeeil x
ctouVE, DEEM? J ?LMHG CARDS
rilNV in; .
I finest 1 should )pAV?7 j .
EE tHAWKFUL. -Jl rAYt f OH, I
VoiJ HAVE TKAT i PlPN'T PEM
MUCH OF TOU.
v:,"iin" . sis
rt ) l
MJAL-SEZ PIP IpNES- BUT -RUN)
. . S YOU WOU LDN'T
FRUKA HEP CALL ME A
PipKi'T ytz" J.PESERTE.R,
cm A : ; ;
AT THE , CLU3 v
I THAT VPT
S 1 W X
c. .,,g i.
rp to t 1 v 1 (
Charing Cro.ss u :io 1 ,
fluids in Lo.i.lf.i. 1
rived from the i
rynge, nieuulng a tmis
Edward I erected at C
lust of 13 crosses whlth i;
route of the funeral pr
bla wife, Eleanor, from
Lincolnshire, to Westmi.
cross was taken down In
modern memorial stand;) 1
Charing Cross station yai- J.
be remembered that Eian-r
neyed with Edward I to the
Land and sucked the poison ;
wound dealt her husband I
Moor. . .- . "Kit
LonSMt Lbm B Rccor J
Without parallel U a 1
20,881 years that Is held on a
In the old parish of Kirkhill, :
land. Drawh up about 200 j
ago, reports Collier's Weekly, it v ;
declared to be legal and va: 1 I r
the highest Scottish court wh. j
government attempted to conn i
theland after; the Jacobite re.i
Uon of 1743. , -. "
- Starlings Are Mocker .
The Bureau of Biological Surv y
says that the starling belongs to a
different family Sturnldae from the
mocking bird family Mlmldae; how
ever, almost, all members; of the
starling family are mockers. The
starling has been known In England
to imitate as many as 63 bird
songs., , '
' One Under Sea
Early In the formation of this
continent the Interior lowlands r '
North' America . were 1 'under s
When the water ' receded, the.
were left layers of sedimentary
rock; In most areas the main drain
age was on the surface, cutting
what was once a level ocean floor
Into Its present contours.
Gi an turn Among Animals
Giantism exists among animals
as among men. ' The famous Lin
colnshire ox exhibited In London la
1790 stood five feet six Inches at the
shoulder and was nearly twelve feet
in length. It is said to have
weighed two tons eighteen hundred
weight , ,
: , First EnalUh Colon
- The first English colony In Nor-'i
America was established on Roan
oke island August 17. 1585. It In
within , a few miles of Kill Devil
bill, marked by a monument com-
memoratlng the Wright brother's
first flight in an. airplane. -
$ i CWneee "Fn Dogs ''
The dogs which appear In Clils
sculpture and art are known
"fd'V dogs.'' Their : origin is , un
known, but one of the.. meanings of
the word "fu" 4n Chinese is "good
luck," and they probably have a
good omen symbolism.
. - HARDLY EXPECTED .
"I want to be honest, sin I can't
support your daughter, but She has
her heart set on marrying me."
"Never mind; do your , best I
can't support her either. "Kansas
City Star. . -
Too Much Imagination
v "What 18 your; idea of Utopia?" .
- It's an Imaginary state of e '-r-ence,".
said Senator Sorghum, '
Is liable to fall down if vou (
finance it with Imaginary money, i
r( Probably Not That Quickly
How -quickly could a national ref
erendum on declaring war be taken T
Before tbe Japanese could move from
San Francisco to Denver T - ,
... ' .I. j
, And Howl ,
. ' "Can your daughter nlay the vlo- -
'No, she can't; but she does!"
1 i Perpetnal Motion
Teacher My ' goodness, , Wi! ;I
Bow did you get such dirty band .'
Willie Washln' my face,