OUR, GGMIQ-SECTION
- llWr thinks'
f ',
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, . t, Wale.' Fancy PaaU. ' ,
. fi'QANTA MONICA, CALIF.-
f v i3 AH is excitement in London
, 4 The prince of Wales .has adopt
t" . ed a new style in trouserings
called the "straight outline " ;
, Wjth no desire to be morbid,
I've gone into the fascinating
details. : 1 glean from : the cable
grams that they touch the wear
' er lh but one place, and only then
if his royal highness Is sitting
down. When walk-1 , - '
tng, be has to take
two steps while
the trousers are
taking one. It's as
though Slim Sum
merville swiped
my things and was
trying to escape
with the goods on.
I shall not follow
the royal example.
As a snappy dress
er I never seem
Irvin S. Cobb.
to get anywhere, ' f-i'v'
' somehow. George Ade once said
no matter what I put on I still
looked like Paducah, Ky., and when
I read what the well-dressed man
will wear I sorrowfully admit
there's nothing correct about me
except my back collar button and
rm not so sure about that It's one
of those plain bone ones nothing
flashy. ,
So I shall continue to stick to
the garments enclosing me at the
moment They are, as you might
say, my pre-depresslon pants. In
youth they sheltered me; I'll not de-
sert them now. Besides, I might
be arrested." ,
Hollywood Hermit.
IP YOU'VE been to Movleland,
you've seen our fur-bearing her
mits. As true recluses, these gen
tlemen have the Innate desire to
avoid being conspicuous, which is
ever characteristic of Hollywood.
. So they march the principal streets
all day, with their long hair and
"their ditto whisker waving in the
climate, and wearing as few clothes
as the law allows and out here, we
allow few Indeed.
' There is a single member of the
group who's different He's Just
as woolly as the others, but he
doesn't parade up and down. Nor
will he tell you his name or the
address of his cave, or where be
came from or where he's going
Some 'think he has a secret past
But I think be has a great ambi
tion. It's my Idea he wants to go down
in history as the one who was net
commissioned a colonel on the staff
of the governor of Kentucky.
. '' Onnartanitiea of Youth.
f N THE brave days before 28 the
future of an ambitious young
graduate was assured. He sold
bonds. Statistics show there was
a salesman for every bond. Short'
iw thoraafter. anv . fellow who
owned a bond was his own sales
man. ''.
I still have some very beautiful
nnp which I'd like to swap for a
pair of mss4gate cuff buttons, a
ukulele, a collection of postage
stamps or what have your
Then followed the dreary years
when the youth with a diploma naa
nowhere to head in desperate,
hopeless years. But now--now he
needn't worry any more about a ca
reer. It's all fixed. He can step
out of college rleht Into a CCC
camp.
The Return of Pcoiperity
GOOD times are certainly com
ing back at least to the fur
business. I hear prices are so high
that onlv the wealthier minks can
afford their own skins; the rest of
them will go through the winter
wearing dyed rabbit.
I went to a party and nearly ev
ery woman there was up to her
ears in ermine or chinchilla or sil
ver fox or some other very exclu
sive peltry. There was one large
lady who had on at least three
kinds of expensive wild animals. If
somebody bad left the door open,
her wrap would have stolen right
back to the zoo.
It' fine nrosnerlty Is returning.
Wouldn't It be grand if. Instead of
-" being visited on a favored lew; it
could be passed around?
- ; - Crooning to Oysters.
THE professional ; -crooner nas
found his musical sout-mate. It's
Hour- (amous. Pacific coast bt-valve,
- that winsome - creature which Is
about the size of a suspender but
.; ton. '",';-""
ij ? a Seattle Judge experimented on
v the harmonic affinities of shell fish.
He couldn't get anywhere with the
clam, -clams being . proverbially
y dumb, but, working on onr cunning.
little native oyster,, he first estab
lished" Its natural vibration,, then
' found a note- to correspond. ? Do
that, and an oyster opens right Jjp.
"They open easiest says the die-cH-erei.
'wbtt crooners; are per
forming.' . '"J 1
, Now let's establish what form of
animal life responds spiritually to
i columnist. , ' .
y - IRVIN 8. COBB -
' C North annrlenn N"nr Alliance, -
WHAT GEORGE MEANS
, Ruth was a sweet girt - She was
readliur a book that save the mean
ing of : names. Her mother was
watching her,: and thinking of, all
the young; men who were attracted
' "Mother," fsaysRuthv . "it says
Philip means lover of horses," and
James means beloved. Mother, what
does George mean, I .wonder?" . "
-; "I hone, m dear.1, said her moth
er, "that George means business."
f "Madam ",'aald the hobo. "I onct
bad wife and fam'ly of my -own-but
I couldn't . he r contented. : I
growled and : gruumled at every
thing and flnaflv 1 left home."'..
... WettV here's a chicken sandwich
for you, sire, saw me oousewue.
"Mighty few nusoanoa are as con
siderate as thafr-Pathflnder Mag
azine.
Youthful Natural!.!
Being told to write an essay on
the mule, a small boy turned In to
his. teacher the following effort;
The mewl is a hardier bird than
a guse or turkie. It has two legs
tn walk with, two more to kick
with, and wears lts wings on the
side of 4ts head. If is stubbornly
backward about coming forward."
Humboldt Union.
Evan So
"I believe." said the neglected
wife, "that mine will be the fate of
Ahpl " .
"Whv so?" oueried her husband.
"Well" said the wife. "Abel was
billed with, a Club, and If you con
tinue to go to yours every night, I
see my finish."
TRY IT, ONCE
"Is golf a difficult game to mas
ter?"
"I guess so. Nobody's ever mas
tered It yet."
Fallin. Market
Mrs. Newbrlde Boo, boo! Thls
morning Clarence said I was one
woman in a hundred.
Mother That's nothing to cry
about'
Mrs. Newbrlde Yes It Is. Before I
we were married he said I was one I
woman in a thousand.
Hope .
"That arlrl says that in her opin
ion love Is all nonsense," remarked
the eloomv voung man. .
"Well." answered . Miss Cayenne,
"don't despair. Perhaps you can
succeed in being sufficiently non
sensical to meet her Ideals."
On the Soot
nffiVe Bov (nervously) Please,
sir, I think you're wanted on thai
phone.
Enmloyer You think! : What's
the eood of thinking
"Weil, sir, the voice at the other
end said, 'Hello, Is that yon, you
old idiot 1'" Atlanta- Constitution.
We Knowt
"Wife finished , house; cleBnlng
vet?"
. "Guess not I bad to go to the
cellar this morning for a' clean shirt
And I found the garden .spade in
the living room.
Oh. Ah
He I know I'm not much to look I
She Still, you'll be at work aU i
day. Answers Magazine.; v
. Broadcnitina an Rs ;,V-
"Do vou think 1 ought to spend
a taw rtnvi In bed.- doctor? t , - -
'A few nlriitj would do-you more.
srood." Answers Magazine.
BANG! BANG!
. '"It's a .battle royal when my
wtfrfa club pIkvs th -."
y Events
THE lTHERHEADS
inw BEFope.
Utitt
7 i: "Aai
fcnf r.
A tIMB f
1L
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OH I'M PAVIN YM6 BILLS k
VIITH CHECKS BUT, I HAVE
TO SEUP VTHBM
FINNEY- OF THE
iAcyyirr.i U
THAT A, MEAL : R
mTcfterj .-that ;
4-.
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POHS 4.1KB,
to, EAT
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in the Uvesfyl:!lk
By 6borne
ARE .YOU
A PAMVANPLEU---
NAMt To FAY
i ,- . ' -
33MB BILLS
1
FORCE
-"
NiCE'
IMPECP
: tniie - to
HlS&ELF bUT
lUSoV MB,
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COOKIN' '
pLACB - HE
7
MIS' UP
fa
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vfMAT ? VlELUi
TUIS . IS ttOINW
tats ; casv OH
OLD-CHtC'
Boo new.-
it CENTS
-JUST' ONE.
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ttoowrwr mb vow
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MEAU
AMP
ALU ;
;
rWISE CHOICE?
Newlywed-1 didn't marry yomr
among
. A Naw-Stor
TeBcher-Tohnny, why are you so I
late this morning? ' 1
- Johnny (ibreathlessly) If yvi
plP8, teacher, we tuned In on
wc.' n station inst ew
rno:' r et tiie climk ty I .
7
- Always Iron ecru. Unens on the
Iwrone side. - Ironing on tne rigm
aide robs them of their luster.,
i Sheer wool crepe In the brighter
bolors' make 1 very attractive . siue
Uraperies; They are lined with egg-
tuKn nfaaalnir necktlea., '. cut . a
(piece of cardboard, the shape of th .
h. anil alln inside of It Cover tie
with a cloth and press with hot Iron.
I There will then be no marKS text oy
-- aay f '- ivw niiMij mm
. you have tried for your cough, cheat
. cold or bronchial Irritation, yon cun,
get reucu -now w.u. yiDuniui.i,'i.
Serious trouble may be brewlrii? and
with anyttiing less than Creomm-
mon, wmcn soeo fiui, w v
of the trouble to aid nature to
ah. mA K.nl 41ia InflnmAH TYlpm
branes as the- germ-laden JJUegtn
Is loosened and expelled. T. .
n Sat .tUM MmniHaa nftVtt
aT'V"! - U VUMM 0MHUiV9 ,.Mw
failed, dont be dlsoouraged, your
druggist Is authorised to guarantee
ureomuiaiou auu w j
money if you are not satisued x
n.lf.a w.m fh VATV flntfc tn v 'rt.?
Oet Creomulslan right cow. CAavJ
Believe the ky
They Offer You Sptdal Inducement t
- ,i ,9 Soroetimei in the
I . .wM shirh. when DTOvea
worthy, the merchandise can be pur-
chaaed from our oommunrey mow
Parhap the sutett way to prevent a cold
taiuxna a- "- a '
al one, to Xmih Intf
1 IKit aHy.DoKtheplaiwnttae-
ia-lM c cup way.- Muth rxe v-n
fiTS Taa-mlid,eMy-to-
lbnOt. Y. liquid laxative. At oi tr
' 1 1 1
QuicCcr..:!-
EUDKIATIC:
ti'a W IranL TKara'i onlv one way f r
jw W rto J-ff ' '
bloated feelings and a doien oiu r
I ooaiiorls your intestines must fun
f To bum them move quiouy, t
antly, completely, Without g
PLa,..aJa '-.rM Mai vial . TaVtt., , ,
Milneaia Waiexs. (DentUti reoons
Milneala waiers as an emaiem
Ifoxraouihaclclity). .
These nunt xlavoreu oanay-uKe vt .
are pure milk of aagneaia. Ea- '-
M approzunaieiy equa 10 a iu
rjt n1Vnl mftoneia. C.
I thorougiily in accordance wiili t !
I Hons on m ixnue oinn.innn lw
u.w j wh.vi --7 , '
lance, at thaii source and at l i
I time enable quick, complete, t
ant limmmtton. '
Milnetia Wafers come in 1 - '
I and 48, wafers, at 33o and t
2C
(
vvi'Ii the Lv v. iur auc
tion, so to s, "." . , '
JJ