KI SVILLE. KC:iTH CAROLINA
47
LOST? r 1
. The teacher wai telling hi clan
boat the cooquetti of Alexander
the Great
"When Alexander had conquered
India." he said, "what do yon think
k did? Do yon think he gaye a
great feast to celebrate his triumph?
Mo : he sat down and wept" s
The children seemed a little dis
appointed at this childish exhibition
on the part of the hero, so the
' teacher continued: "Now, why do
you think Alexander weptf
Up wenf a little-hand. .
"Well, Tommy I" said the teacher.
' -Please, sir." said Tommy, hesi
tatingly, "perhaps he didn't knfvr
the way back." Tit-Bits Magazine.
Anything toWave
Mother Here comes the parade,
and your Aunt Helen will miss It I
Where Is she
Daughter She's upstairs, waving
f. her hair. .
' Mother Mercy! Cant we afford
f a flag?
Economy
"Here's a ticket Tor the conjurln
how, Maggie." :
"Thank ye, Donald," said his
'wife.
"And hark ye, Maggie, when he
comes to that trick where he takes
a teaspoon o' flour and one egg and
makes 20 oam'lettes watch very
close!"
PLAYING THE GAME
Father ton hare been running
ahead of your allowance, John.
Son I know it, dad. I've been
hoping for a long time that the al
lowance would strengthen up enough
to overtake me.
A WUa Farmer
Farmee I've arranged it so that
I won't be caught by a drouth next
summer.
Friend How's that? ;,
Farmer I fjanted onions and po
tatoes in alternate rows. The on
ions will make the potatoes' eyes
water and so Irrigate the soil.
Windsor Star.
Advaacinf Ideals'
"How Is your daughter progress
ing In music?" -
"Well," replfciF Mr: Cumrox, "I
think her taste Is improving. She
la getting so she thinks enough of
some of those songs not to sing
them." . .
Oat bt the Woods
A shot is heard.
Nit Hey, Jeff.
Wit What do you want?
Kit Are you all right?
Wit Yes.
Kit Then I guess I shot a bear!
.. Flniaha.. ..
Kovlce (with great determination
after numerous attempts) I'll stay
here till I hit this JtwlL -
Caddie Weel, ye can get some
Ither laddie to hand yer sticks, for
this is ma bath nicht
' J'f. ' . The. Differanea :
' ' James The modern girl Is noth
ing but sn animated doll. . ,
George Except In one respect
v sh doesn't call "Mamma" when she
T: Is squeezed,
Wor4 Pletnra Enough .,.
' Butcher Shall 1 draw this chick
en for you. Madam t
Mrs' NewbrideOb, no, that W
not necessary. Your descrlpUon la
vaults sufficient - ,
JUST GAZING AWAY;
; "A beautiful, clear night; Ural ltr
"res, all the starfish are out
' Hard t Convince ,
"Rafferty," said Mr. Dolan, "are
you wan a" those people that never
know when they're whipped J"
l ira not , But 1 take nobody's
word fgr it except the doctor's aft
er I come to." , ' . '
' ti M--
OUR; COMIC SECTION
Events
FINNEY OF THE
CAtvCcr- UnuJ rnuB I I vJAL
, TIME OUT -
wWWit. w. h. v.y . I.
"TWOSEV TWO -J A ALMOST
CROOKS SOT
4.UIAV CBOU
SOT
HOW KU4 fex
i f i mr
CAR ' AM
J 7CJT i
f L v- ' spbep umit 1
-i i i 1 in. i 1 1 i i ' ii... X , -a
THE FEATHERHEADS .J
saiBjBjBaBCsBaBaaBwBaaaBa a-...a 3i al .
ffBT S0HG ON A SUV )
v lv-T V. 60irQ J
JU. " ' "' ' ' " ' ' '
in the Lives of Little
FORCE
Ol NAUX JlST
- Ol
SbNUA fire
GONMA rlKB
VB till
HOUR AMD
UD II
OA
Cn I REALLV
T0 BRiHcr
lUTo YoUR.
V1
t n
lien
A Fast One
"7
at
Al I ( BLU- ALL WS
OTHER (1
. WATCM F6R.
Early to Rise
be i. ur
1L SAV 6sTfMtf
ME UP t AKUi . v
TO 60 TO WORK
'i ' I
r
r
, " ' 7S
A kindly old general, an ardent
horseman, .was visiting the hos
pital every Snday whilst In an In
dian command. . . '
"What's you" trouble ?'he asked a
juntor .officer patient ' 1
"Fell off my motor bike, sir," re
plied the subaltern. '
hYoa would do much better," od-
served the general, "to sell the
noisy; smelly thing and get a good
pony. Then you wouldn't be wast
ing time In hospital."
He turned to the. occupant ol the
next bed.
"Well, and what's the matter with
youn -
"Feu off my horse, sir rr-watcn.-word.
YOUR GUESS
Is there any alcohol In elder!"
"Inside who?"
V l. V lasislaat '
Joan, and .mother had come to
calL In the afternoon their hoat-
ess bad given the child several
cookies. On their departure Joan
drew her to one side and whispered :
"Ma I have a cookie to take
home?" '
You'll have to ask mother," an
swered the hostess. '
They're not mother's cookies,
they're your cookies. Yon tell me I"
Indianapolis News.
v 1 r nijii ' ,:i
i Prapara4aM ,
"Good morning," said a stranger
to a woman who had answered the
door bell where a- room was ad
vertised for rent "Would you Uke
to buy come Insect powder?"
"No," she snapped. have no
use for that stuff."' . ', .i
"Good,? replied the stranger. "I
will take that room you are adver
tising." Wall Street JonrnaL " -
, Waated a Rwt V .
A little four-year-old had been
taken for a country walk; It waa
a warm day, and after a time the
father lifted him and carried him
pack-a-back for several miles. .
Tiring himself, the parent waa
searching for an excuse to put dowa
his load wh,en.a small voice piped,
"Daddy, may I get down and have
a rest?"'
'' Something to Think Abaet -Young
Hopeful Say, paw!
Paw Well, what the dtckena la
It this time? .
Young Hopeful Say, pawl If the
day ' of Judgment came . and (he
whole world was destroyed and an
airman was flying above the earth,
what would he come down on?--
Pathfinder Magazine. ' ..
NIBBLE, NIBBLE
Mr. Mouse Yes, we are very
happy, we've moved next door to a
cheese factory. . , t
y Uaataal
vHetty-Ia jour bey friend a
nsual? i
Betty Sure 1 He ran put: of pe
trol the first lonely lane we came
to In his new car the other day.
'a Hetty That's not unusuaL-
Betty No? He walked two miles
"for some more. Larson's Weekly.
Paaca Maker ,
Judge This-, officer states ho
found yon two fighting In the mid
dle of the street ;Is that true?
First Defendant Not at all, your
honor. .When the officer arrived we
were trying to separate each other.
Isn't that right Jim?
... Hard Aadiaaea "
i fHow would you like to be a gov
ernment-paid artist?" . .
' "Fine," said" Mr. Stormington
Barnes. "The only thing I'm afraid
of Is the fact that a public made up
of taxpayers Is always liable to be
mercilessly crlticaL" ., -,
. On Way .
Jack How can I beat my Income
tax? " , . ' - .
Pott What's your Income?
- Jac Ten thousand dollars.
Pott Marry a widow with eight
children. . ,
Still to Come
r.IHy What you drawing, JlmmyT
Jimmy A dog.
r'"y But Where's its tall?
i'n any Oh, that's 5 '"! in the I,
'..'X
Wis
. COMMENTS ON
CURRENT'TCTSCS BY
NATIONAL CI lAnACTZPvS
' Opinions expressed in die paragraphs
below are not necessarily concurred in
by the editor of this newspaper. ,
AMERICAN TRADITIONS SOUND
THE. philosophy, of Fascism gWl
nes the nation, to which the In
dividual Is expected to sacrlnce him
self: therefore the gesture -by Mus
solini, to Impress the Italian people J
with the great traditions and the
splendor of their country's conquests.
I believe that the courage which is
asked ot-youtb in a democracy, the
courage to think things out for them
selves rather th.no to depend blindly
oii their leaders, Is a far greater
courage than la asked of young peo
ple going into a war.!" v .
It was the traditions or uermany,
of Russia and of Italy the; tradition
of obedience to a kaiser, a czar, a
king, which made It possible, to set
up Fascism, Commnnlslm, Nazism.
The tradltlona . ofr the -American
people, on the other hand, the prin
ciples of liberty, justice and equality
for all - of which -your -ancestors
fought in 1776, would prevent such a
happening In America. Youth, think
for yourselves, even though Amerl
can Ideals have never been complete
ly realized. , - , . . .
PRESENT AMERICAN ECONOMY
BT SBOVi HKNY A. WAlfLACB
THERE Is as much need today for
a Declaration of Independence as
there was for a Declaration of Inde
pendence in ivr v :'- ;
The typical. New England farming
community of the eighteenth century
was . 95 per cent economically tnde-
pendent of the rest of the nation and
the world. The rest of the colonies
might have : suddenly disappeared,
and the community could continue to
function. Of how many communities
In America could'that be said today?
Merely to ask the question Is to an
swer lt', And If farmers, With the
help ' of - government should today
achieve even a 60 per cent economic
self-sufficiency, as compared ' with
their present 20 to 30 per-cent, the
result would ' be the starvation ; of
many millions in our cities. A change
of this sort might be brought about
slowly,, but brought about rapidly It
would prove a catastrophe. ;.L
' WAR'S MENACE
' Bv VISCOUffT CfiCIL
THE nations, In America no less
than in Europe, are preparing for
further war. More money Is at the
present time being spent for armies.
navies and air forces than ever be
fore. In peacetime. Moreover, one
treat ; country, In defiance of all
treaty obligations,? has launched
war of conquest against another,
And jret the contest which finished
In 1918 waa a war to end war.
We are drifting toward another
world catastrophe worse even than
the last. Can nothing be done, to
prevent it? Certainly good Intentions
and pious aspirations are not enough.
No - doubt the peace-loving nations
will wish' to remain at peace. But
we found In 1014, and you found three
yar later,' that la apHe our wishes
we were driven Into war.
What happened then may nay,
will happen again unless we take
adequate ateps to prevent it
V. ; m i I i i ' iv, -
" FAITH IN THE LEAGUE
w OB. JAM SMUTS
THE league Is. -not moribund or
on its last legs, but only finding
Its feet, only beginning Its career,
Henceforth more and more it will
stand forth as the determined foe of
Imperialism, of that spirit of aggres
sive expansion and annexation that
characterized the old pre-war order
and which waa fondly thought to
have been killed In the Worlds war
bat Js again .hMiln; Its horrid Aea!
In world anairs.
No. the message of 'Armistice day
Isn't forgotten. Long live the League
of Nations!
'r
.1 iu
' A Horrible Eaample '. " ' :
The Customer Isn't It rather nn
usual to see a barber with long hair
and whiskers like yours? - - -
The Barber Yes; but it's , good
business. Every man that sees how
awful they look on me will fall for.
a haircut and shave. . .
1
WfUSLEY'S
i IS C0OLIW6
TO THE TASTE !
VlOOll 1 L
via. jpd i w i
li t-
while k-... i an
lukewarm ain
In the air to c
Wt'i
r.
Sometimes ro t b (
light colored. If you v, i i i
rich golden brown, lit t-
frying pan until it hua lio--dissolve
It in water and t ;
gravy,
A squeaking In hardwood f s : f
caused by floors not bolni; - '
nailed or when subfIoorli I , ,
or laid parallel -10 noonug t . i.
An experienced floor-layer-' wLl i
move the squeak.
Have sort tried . serylng bukel
cranberry apples with a roost pt-i
dinner? t Fill the cavity luft i-i ap
ple after core 'has -been removed
with cranberry sauce and bake.
When making a pumpkin pie, b t
the. whites .of, eggs stiff and f 1
them into mixture Just before baki;
Instead of heating the egg yalks asid
whites together. The pumpkin filling
will be much lighter if prepared in
this way. .
(s. ..jjfjv,.-;, . a,-, oii i-1,-
If you enjoy painting try your
(kill on one of the anpainted dress
ing, tables; They are most useful
and ornamental.
A Anoelattd Nmngm-WNO SwrlM.
LIGHTS
INSTANTLY
i I'U
i, i.,,sijinew(lninltl''r"a
oq ainnnwruriM warmth on l.
oldast winur (Uys. ComorUir Iw" "f
nnunroomrnsahorttiiM, hotonnw" .
BoinaUUins. Mkwndlmni(itowninuitr-m
ardlnur tuolin. Porttbw. . . eanr ana "
anrwhan. Coata kaa tnan M hoot to oa.
V Uchtamatasttr. Joatatrlka a match, torn
s vain, and oat flowa war span wava ex
elaan, cWitul. haaltKnl haC
' - S Tar Laeal Dalw-or wiha a .
. lor Fi UlnatrmUd Toiit. '
THE COLEMAN LAMP AND 8TOVB CO.
pt.WU3,
fbUaaiiaala,
WU4M, WkhUa, Km.)
Pa. Ua Aasataa, CaSf.
' Ctlldhoold a Cuida .'.
. Cblldhobd sbovrs the' , man,' as
morning", shows the day. MUton.
And bale
that Holiday
' . ',Cakw . '
' with the
(v
famous
r
- iua aasajiiii m
1,MiiKggaBaaaalaMnv
Innaaa tVcnrina- Quality of Bihw. Tnat
l(ht balr tic dallvarad In 17. M. t
back tuaraimia. ima wanted. f-uui
Sappbr Co. Box Salt, illendala. Cauif.
DRUG STORE, FIRST CLASS
"You say he's opened a flrst-clf
drug store?"
"Yes has the finest soda fount '
Ii town.". . v
d ' "N I. .