Farmville Enterprise
A. C. MONK. Publisher.
A. KOUSE. Editor and Atft. M?i.
One Dollar the year ? Jit adva icc.
Kulcrcd iu the 1'oit Odici; al I'aiui
vlilc, N. C. , as secoud clau mail mailer.
THURSDAY, I KB. 19. 1913
A li?l?; tragedy. Motbcr tells
child that an angel is beautiful,
has wings and (lies. Child tells
mother that father called the hir
ed girl an angel. The hired girl
flew at once.
The trouble with the men if
that it is easier for them to die
for a girl before they are married
than it is for them to get up and
light the fire for their wives after
they are married.
The good old days when a
man drove a horse with or e arm
and supported a dainty bit of cal
ico with the other are only mem
ories of middle-aged couples
The present zeneratien only im
ngines it is enjoying itself.
In the examination of the low
er departments of our school a
youngter was was asked to give
the division of North America,
nnd with an air of truimph re
plied, Republican', Democrats
and Prohibitionists. Give him a
medal.
A queen bee lays from two to
three thousand eggs in twenty
four hours. Ths man who will
discover how to cross a queen
bee with a hen will soon ha\ e
money enough to buy an auto
mobile for himself and a!l his
poor re'atives.
If a doctor makes a mistake
W 1 n?l1WH
a mistake, he never tells it; but
if an editor make; a mistake he
puts it on a large sheet of paper
for the world to look at and all
the cranks in the couaty have
something to wag their jaws
about for a month. ?
Multiply $5 and $5 and you
?et $25. Five dollars is equal tr
500 cents. Multiply 500 cents
by 500 cents and you get 250,000
cents, and counting 100 cents to
the dollar, 250,000 cents equals
$2500. Why is the second
amoui greater than the finft? Can
the school boy tell?
Some men will eat a good meal
nt home, of their wives' cookirg
nud arise from the table without
a word of praise for the patient
little woman who did tbe cook
ing, yet when the same fellow
gets a burnt m&il with cold slop
called coffee at a restaurant, they
pay their bill cheetfti'ly and tip
the waiter (female) Handsomely,
smiling at ti e time.
A young lady telephone oper
ator recently attend a watch night
service and fell asleep during the
sermon. At theclosc the preach
er said: "We will now ejng hymn
number three forty-one? three
fjrty-one." The young lady ju?l
waking in time to hear the num
ber yawned and said: "The line
is busy, please call again."
CARD OF THANKS.
We wish to thank all who, with
their loving sympathy and kind
deeds, did so much for us in the
deep bereavement over Jhe loss
of our loved one, and "for the
beautiful flowers that covered
his grave. May God's blessings
re& upon you alL
Very lovingly,
Mrs. F. L. Joyner,
W^L. Joyner.
Hubert Joyner.
For Sale? I have four or five
young Single cone, White Leg
horn Roofers yet for safe. If
you want one, quick ? L. W.
Codvvin.Jarmville, N. G
VOLUMES BEYOND ALL PRICE
First Folio* of ShakeapaarVe Writing!
Jealously Guarded by Their
Fortunata Owner*.
There appear to have been fit*
hundred copies of the Shakespeare
first folio printed, of which about
two hundred are known to have sur
vived. Of these, fewer than twenty
arc in perfect state, while about
one hundred and sixty copies have
sustained serious damage at various
points. The value of the four early
folio editions of Shakespeare is part
ly determined by their pedigree*.
The duke of 1a-?1s owns a first folio
3n which two former owners, Charles
Killigrcw and William Congrere,
huve inscribed their names. Garrick's
first folio is iu tbe library of Queen's
college, Oxford. Sir Henry Irving
possessed a second folio which had
belonged successively to Lewis Theo
bald, the greatest of all Shake*
peurv'd textual critics, Doctor John
son and Samuel Ireland. In Sooth
Kensington museum there is a third
folio adorned with a curious collec
tion of uutographs. At the top of the
title page is the signature of Leigh
Hunt, and on other portions are the
signatures of Charles Dickens, Rob
ert Browning, William Wordsworth,
Charles Knight and George Henry
Lewes.
MIGHT YET FULFILL PROMISE
Improbable Possibility Put Forth by
Lawyer Won the Case for
the Defendant.
Mr. Justice Byles wa;, when at the
bar, noted for his astuteness in ad
vocacy. On one occasion he was for
the defendant in an action for
breach of promise of marriage. The
plaintiff proved the promise to
marn-, and that the defendant had
married some one elaeu The ques
tion seemed a matter of damages,
but Byles put two questions to the
plaintiff :
"Did not he propose to m&'iy you
when his father was dead t"
"Yes."
"Ib hia father dead?" *
1 "Xo."
"That is my case, my lord," said
''But, Brother Byles," said the
fudge, "he has married somebody
alse."
"Well, my lord," said Byles, "jis
wife may die before hia father or
afterward, and he may outlive tliem
both, when it will be time to fulfill
the promise."
The defendant won his ram
f/ondon Tit-Bits.
ONLY ONE EXPLANATION.
A milkman in a countr? town not
far from New York, waa crought be
fore the local court to answer ?
charge of adulteration of milk.
"You are charged," said the judge,
"with a moat serious offense, of sell
ing adulterated milk. Hare you
anything to say in answer to the
charge?"
"Wei!, your worahip," answered
the milkman, "the night before it
wag raining very hard and the only
cause I can give is the cow must have
got wet thiough." ? Harper's Weekly.
HARD CASE.
Patience ? I hear Fred waa pinned
down under his automobile, today.
Patrice ? Indeed ! Well, nobody
ever succeeded in pinning him down
before.
U8EO TO IT.
"A crisis in China would be ? ter
rible thing for the nation."
"I don't see why. We hare it in
our ki'.cfcen every time we get a new
cook. ' ?
AT THE MEDIUM**.
"I come here to get soma light
whereby I may see astral bodies.".
"Then why not get an astral
lamp?" ,i
EXPERT.
Teacher? What is s motor mo
tion?
Up-to-Date Class ? One is whoa
the auto turns turtle.
TIME TO aiT UK.
General? It's 'af gfr.
Lodger-Oood : heaven*! .Wfajr
ttdn't you tell me before ?
General? Because it waant. air.
THtm SPECIALTY.
"W^tare dog watches on vessela,
nr
the kini tljat an
?eed principally bybarks."
. .Vi- '
IS NO LONGER AN OR#
??upU Hav* CtAtid to Look Upon I
Dictionary >? an Authority That
I* Infallible.
The dictionary U ceasing, _
?Uy, liut purely, to be an oracle. It
position as such vcc.i never quite I
:ure. Even when Samuel Jolu
tiret essayed to bet the standard
English usage he had to encounti
both scoffers and Scotsmen;
scoffers organized, the Scotsma
triumphed. So that step by at?
pushed forward by the omnivor
industry of German scholarship
lured onward l>y commercial comp
tition, the dictionary, unlike the pr
verbial rolling stone, has gath<
much moss by rolling ? down 1
To cite from the dictionary is
proof, not of the correctness of
word or idiom or pronunciation, bu
merely of its existence.
A century of encyclopedists
accomplished thin. When Dider
began hia work hia aim was to
teinatize knowledge parallel with
given philosophy of things; today
(bo encyclopedist takes, with Bae
!'all knowledge for his province.'
The dictionary has followed cloaelj
behind. The gain, after all, is ou
Standards are now set, and dispute
in a separate place assigned to them J
the dictionary gives ub the whole
wealth of words from which to dr??
at will. It wonld seem that the prii
i-iple of inelnsivenesa could scar
be carried beyond the positio
reached today, unless to include
necessary popular formations tb
must continue as long as the
juage lives.
HIS SCHEME
First Actor ? I wish I had some ;
money.
Second Actor ? What would you
do? pay your board bill f <
First Actor ? No ; so I'd havf
enough money to more.
GIVE LIVEb TO GOOD CAUSE. j
A school is located in a little
building erected by the missionaries
in an Eskimo settlement on one of
the Aleutian islands. The nearest
land is 8iberia, over ' rty miles
away. It is a bleak place. During
the summer the temperature is sel
dom above fifty degrees, and more
often around thirty. A : few .wild
flowers appear in August, but most
of the year the island is an icy waste.
Forbidding as the place is, the two
teachers say that the eagerness for i
light on the part of the pupils makes
up for the loneliness and privation.
Sometimes it is exceedingly difficult 1
to keep warm in the * little ' school- ;
schoolhousc in midwinter acd there
are no luxuries.
FPROETFUL HUHANM
Mr. Bacon? I sea then waa a )
heavy falling off in the number of
pottcarda sent to thb country "from
Berlin last year. '
Mrs. Bacon ? Evidently the hus
bands over there are Just aa ca relets
as they are over here when it comes
to dispatching thair wives' mail.
? ' ?
JUrr LIKE THEM.
Yeast? Y?? say thay live together j
like cats and dogs.
Crimson beak ? Yes; they aeem to j
ttva on "acrapa."
THEIR PLAN.
"Why did the suffragists go t? )
Washington for their convention T {
- 1 gueaa they thought it would b? ?
a capital idea for congreaa."
?- NATURAL WAY.
"It certainly de*s cost a city a lot
to keep the streets dstn in winter."
"Of couraa it does; cold csih nat
urally goes into hanks of snow."
?-? y . . ? ?' i
'Crjjy '? ' Its NAME. "
"Fov, I want to know something*
?What la it, myannf^
"Is an aviary a plaos for ths bird
THE THREE ROADS
"*?0 SUCCESS
fat have placed our name for
HRLIABLE GROCERIES at the
(op of tke ladder are before you.
tyhcii you can get frcsli, choice
and pure Groceries from US ?
? iUy go elsewhere ? and
fare Worse? See our
FINE GROCERIES
(biday and you'll deal with usnl-j
?cays.
i. A. MIZELL& CO. I
Pone No. 26
m
iRFOLK SOUTHERN RAILROAD. |
. Route of The "Night Express"
Schedule In Effect Jan. tlife, 1914.
N. B. The following schedule
~ires published as information
LY and are not guaranteed.
TRAINS LEAY E FARMV1LLE
? EAOT BOUND?
jjfc34 A. M. Daily N^ght Ex
press for Edenton, Elizabeth City
ind Norfolk. Pullman Sleeping
Car.
' 9.-02 A. M. Daily for Washing
ion and Norfolk. Connect for
Uf. points North and Weil.
fc<*P. St. Daily except Sun
, for Washington ar.d inter
liate sftutiocs.
-WEST BOUND
3.52 A. M. Daily for Raleigh.
Conneds to all points South and
Wefl. Pullman Sleeping Car
Tfr A. M. Daily except Sun
fbr Raleigh.
P. M. Daily for Raleigh.
H. S. Leard, .
Gen'l Passenger Agt. |
W. A. Witt,
i'I Supefintemkgjfcc
NotfolU.ta.
THESE handsome China Closets came as a special bar
gain to us, and we'll give you the Ijenefit. .
They were ordered by a certain dealer, who failed while the
goods were enroute to him, and rather than take them back, the manu
facturer offered them to us at a low price, and we bought them all.
They are here and now on sale, and yon
will say you never saw such values In
China Closets anywhere belore. "
Joy ncr Furniture Co. ,
T. E. JOYNER, Mar. FARMVILLE, N. C.
?L. ? ? ? ? ? ? *?
-% r
"Groceries oi Quality"
OUR MOTTO.
1 Our line, of Heavy I
I now the freshest to be had and is complete I
in every way. We carry oniy the beft tnd
can supply your every want.
Remember friends our terms are cash, and for
you to get our prompt attention and bctft prices, as
you exped, your accounts muA be paid promptly.
Farmville,
N, Carolina
I wish to announce to the public that I have
located in Farmviile and am representing the
Consumers' Monument Co., ol Ball Ground, Ga.
one the largest monument lactones in the South
and will be pleased at any time > serve your
needs in this line. ^ - ^ Va Zfc:
I sell direct irow factory
to purchaser and can save >
you about 25 per cent on |
usual agent's prit*
^?1
j. me for