B "THE BARRACKS WHEEZE" liy PRIVATE CHKT SHAKER 9 ( Aviation Corps, Somewhere in Texas) A 1,1. WINTKlt I.O\(i A SQIAI) l l \l>KK AT ( AMI* (T'STKH HAS /MWai HKK.N (AI.I.I\<; "Sr.MMKKTl.MK" 7r(yH AM) THAT IMMVATK HAS M\!\I rA_IXKI> THK sri'KKMK CHIN TO i / / v? ii ii\i> to c.r. r ci.rnny ll'iTi: ./ nnil.F.R / "//././:/? II I I II fzpZT?# o\h'xs i oh rr.in.ixu. ?ip~ *' . t'y, ' WIicii they pettishly requested Ku' f *' ;^>r Kinuld:) to "ean" the noise after * ' tlie lights were out he plaeed the * \ blame on the woof of his blankets. i 77,-/ u:,.r? , . / If'.r Y** IC !s there anyone else present who wishes a bottle of this tonic? VlfiL, IT'S ALMOST TIMK TO POST AX/ OTHKIt I.IST OK HOISKS?THOSK W ilt) AISK <'ONTIXI'AI.LV SAVING T ?"WKLL. THAT'S NOT THK WAY * UK Oil) IT ON THK BORDKK." On his way out from mess Kus 1 fashionable?he bad just finished a slumming tour. \yf%- J. And Webster, in his day. despite ^ his lark of tools, didn't skid very * "'u,h ^?wjjsgs| ./A')' II .IV vor Kli.-W IT ^ Aitrn^ There will be special wards in the ififc iSFi s,a,e as>Iuius latcr on for i-hoSP who lost their marbles trying to figure /JUl out the thickness of their blankets. TIIK WHIST WATCH Out of the first million men utilized for the national arm)' almost as many sions. The pieces, with phosphoresent dials, wont heavy on furloughs. In camp they were about as useless _rri aH a ma(' ('"K- With the recognition of the infallibility of the bugle and the top-sergeant's whistle thousands of the tickers were sold after the first |SHKj|2gfl week for anything from a split on a P/3ljBe?"i box from home to six-bits 'till payday. L jfivQBuS* Many excuses have boon offered for "ie wrist watch but the most reasonIWJWJ* able, coming from a high authority, W&W ('re^'f8 it with creating the necessity viy for a seond hole in the left wristlet. fjr&flww if Wrist watches were not use<l at zA Valley l-'orge. At that time the sol, :liers were fighting for liberty instead WOl'l-D KI.KVATK MISKTAN'S A bill has been introduced in Con 11*01. yWf | gress by senator numnauu nunru would create the position of bandmaster for chief musicians in the jflRIcavalry, infantry, artillery and EnMi \ WtM ifl gineers' Corps, who would have the rank of second lieutenant and receive - - 1 the same benefit in respect to. pay, emolument and retirement arising front longevity. IMHBI.K l.KAVK NECESSARY Officer: Now. Smith, you had twenty-four hours' leave to see your wife and child. You have been away forty-eight. What have you got to say ?J for yourself? Smith: Rut it was twins, sir.? Judge. LEFT A Lear You will find it a mighty c?h can "parlor francais" a little?ant a Frenchman moans when lie "pa Suppose you are in a sector I French troops in a hig offensive; s | message from a French officer; wounded "poilu"; suppose you're | letod in u French house; suppose | imormaunn iroin peasants or lomi ! make the difference between dclaj j cicncy, between comfort and disi i even between life and deatli, bet we .Moreover, you are going to ' ae<|uainted with one of the finest n | whose mind is alive and keen, a i meat; and you ean't get really at I with their men and read their papt There are thousands and tli ! French right now. General I'ersl | across. There are hundreds of c I There"?when they get there thej ! are just about, seventy-five thousai i training camps at home. In sot I quired of large groups of officers The V. M. ('. A. maintains c! I expects to develop this work more i I French classes in your camp, and | larly, by all means do so. But if you can't, here's the i ! begins a special series of French I attend the classes. These lessons I mainly in giving you the particul, j portant for you to know, showing ; I what they mean, and combining t j teach yon all the French there is, ' here goes fiy LE WORDS AND PHKASKS THE words and phrases are gn iirst in their real French spi ing; then in a special spell: j that shows how they are to be p nounced; then the English meani | is given. I tlonnez-moi. uone mwa, give.me de l'eau. duh 1 oh. some water du lait. dii le, some milk du caf6. dii kaf6. some coffee de la soupe, duh la soop, some sc des pommes de terre, d6 pom d tor. some potatoes s'il vous plait, s ee voo pie, pie monsieur, muhsyuh. sir merci. mersee, thank you voulez-vous? voole voo? do ] 1 want? oui. wee. yes In the special spellings that sh ' how words are to be pronounced: ' a sounds like a in English fath I 6 sounds like e in English met ; e sounds like a in English fate ee sounds like ee fn English beet, In making { , e. and ee, draw b; 1 the corners of your lips. o sounds like o in English softer, oh sounds like o in English go. oo sounds like oo in English boot, uh sounds like e in English fern, wl tho r la not nrnnounced. MUD CAUSES BAD WOUN Discovery has been made by a r jor in the Medical Department, U. A., just returned from France I mud can and frequently does ca serious wounds on soldiers' bodies, bullet striking the ground may thr , up a splash of mud with sufficient , locity to penetrate the skin. 1 soil of France and Belgium is so hi ly fertilized that a dangerous woi often rpsiilts. TEN MILES GAINED According to the annual report ! the British Aeronautical Engineer Society, the speed of British so airplanes was increased ten miles hour by the substitution of "stream line" wires for the ordin; 'circular wireB formerly used. and camp T THE POST t ' a?ii**oe' ??s23i-' r^rSSa*. G-in French hI thins when you get to France, if you I what's more, if you can make out what r!o francais" at you. next-to French .troops, or are close to upposc you have to take a quick order or suppose you have a chance to help a wounded yourself; suppose you are bilyou're sent to make purchases, or to get speople; your knowledge of French yniglit and speed, between blundering and efliromfpft, between suffering and relief? en defeat und victory. have the opportunity in France to get lutions on the face of the earth?a nation lation of line feeling and heroic achlevequaintcd with them unless you can tulk rs. lousands of men in the army studying >ing himself studied French on the way Lasses in rrencn tieninu me lines uver, r realize how much they need It- There j ad men enrolled In French classes In the ne cantonments work In French is ream! of men. lasses In French in every big camp, and ind raore. "Find out about the Y. M. C. A." if you can arrange to attend them regulext best thing: Trench and Camp today lessons, intended for the men who can't are to be very simple. They will consist ar words and phrases that are most impou how they are pronouticed, telling you hem in practical sentences. They won't but they will give you a good sturt. And SSON 1 I In making o, oh, oo, arid uh, stick ren out your lips. ?U_ The letter ii indicates a sound quite j"ngI different from any English sound. It r01 is made with the lips in the same poing sition as for oo and the tongue in the ? same position as for ee. To practice this sound, get the lips rounded as for whistling, and then, holding them firmly in that position, try to say ec. Notice that French words are not spelled consistently; and notice in particular that many letters that appear in the spelling of the French word, especially final consonants, are ase not pronounced at all. Notice that the expression for "some" is different before different 0 | nouns. EXERCISE ow| 1. Try to understand these senteni ces. and then pronounce them carei fully, according to the pronunciations 'indicated above: Voulcz-vous de er Jl'eau? Ooi, monsieur. Donnez-moi j des pommes de terre, s'll voui plait. Merci, monsieur. -Donnez-moi du! ! cafe, s'il vous plait. Voulez-vous de | la soupe? Merci. vouiez-vois au irk lait, monsieur? Oul. merci. 2. Say in French: Will you have some coffee? Yes, thank you. Give me some potatoes, please. Do you want any soup? No, thank you. Give me some water, please, len Cut this lesson out and keep it, and watch for Lesson 2 next week! DS OFFER HAIR FOR BELTING na- Having heard that German women S. were cutting off their hair and giving hat it to the Kaiser to make belting- for use machinery in his munition factories, A a Pennsylvania mother and daughter ow made a similar offer to the War i)eve partment. The patriotic offer of the rhe "crowning glory" was declined with gh- thanks and the explanation that the ind United States government is not quite that hard up yet. SPKNDING BILLIONS of A statement recently issued by Seeing retary of Treasury McAdoo showed out that in the six months prior to Janan uary 1 the military establishment of flat the country had spent $1,700,000,000 ary and that by June 30 this year $8,790,000,000 will have been spent. I ' . ' - 1 Changes in Insignia - 4 Of U. S. Officers Urged To Prevent Confusion Suggestion has been made by a nu^SS jor in one of the United States EngfttfB Ineers commands now in Prance th&jf&fi the insignia of the commissioned flcer3 from second lieutenant to cOXr^ onel be slightly changed to prevefltjil confusion in the minds of French and British soldiers. The second lieutenants with their ^ gold shoulder bars and brown b^ald, on their sleeves are primarily respon-"*^ sible for the major making the sug- fe gestioh. Writing home the major^g 3aid: "A lot of second lieutenants arrived yesterday from the United;;^ States with a_single gold bar on theiib-^' shoulders and khaki colored braid on their overcoat sleeves. It makes them more distinguished in appearance than first lieutenants and greatly impresses the French, who, in common . with the rest'of the world, think ?;old is superior to silver. We Jiavo the same thing in the gold leaf for a major and a silver leaf of the same pattern for a lieutenant colonel." , The major suggests that the second lieutenants' gold bar be eliminated ^ and that officers of that rank be given a single silver bar. First lieutenants ^ could be designated by two silver bars; captains could be given the ver leaf, the majors could retain the gold leaf, the lieutenant colonel could be designated by the silver eagle, , while a gold eagle could be uesd by ^ colonels. "Our rvrtem Hops not seem to be rational and is entirely arbitrary," says this major. "In every other V.: army "In the world a single device?Hvf braid, star, pip, etc.?indicates a second lieutenant, two a first lieutenant; . three a captain, etc. Officers and civilians are continually having us ex-. plain our system, which calls for much memorizing without any mnemonic .:* aid. Also on the sleeves of our overcoats we are one behind other armies. .. Since we arc acting with armies hav- & ing a definite system we should con*, d form.* One braid for a second lle$o| tenant, two for a first lieutenant^?,1 three for a captain, four for a major,-Sj five for a lieutenant colonel, six for a; % colonel. The change would beeasy^i to make and would not cost much, As Y it is our first lieutenants are thought / to be second lieutenants, our captains ^ to be first lieutenants, our majors-to7 ; bo captains, etc." The present gold and silver phOttfjjfipt der strap designation for officers andvh chevron system for non-commlssion?d> officers in the United States Army was adopted in 1847. Originally tenant colonels wore two leaves to differentiate them from majors. It has been suggested that if the. ' United States creates the rank of 9ela:. marshal during the war the insignia would have to be a sun, similar tO/~ that worn by Marshal Joffre on the..: front of his coat, as four stars are now being used to indicate the rank" of general. \' AMERICAN^ WOUNDED GET BEST OF CARE <1 """ "? > misfortune to be wounded in FranfW'' will suffer from lack of care, as reports show that the 'medical branch' of our army is splendidly equipped-forits work. Indeed, an injured man '* i will probably receive better attention A than he could secure at home, tofmany specialists of national reputar tion, besides some of the best women nurses are serving as volunteers in* . the military hospitals. A careful system for handling the disabled has'been worked out. If soldier receives a wound in the:y trenches it is dressed at once from the first-aid kit, which every man carries.' ' Stretcher bearers or his comrades', then assist him to the first-aid drees-; ing station, usually a dugout and of-_ ten within a hundred yards of thS ugnting line, a nammocic strptcner. has been devised for use in narrow;: winding trenches. The medical officer .at the first-aid" station gives the -wound a more care* ful dressing, ibjects anti-tetanus serum and telephones for an ambulance. The latter comes as close to the front as is possible, always a dangeroufr service, as German flyers regard bran ambulances and hospitals as fair taf*. gets for their bombs. The wounded man is taken to tlMfc field hospital, four or Ave miles to thjk' rear, and his injury is inspected."- If ! an operation is imperative, it is peN formed; but if the patient is strobm.' enough, he is made comfortable and: sent without delay to an evacuation^ hospital, eight or ten miles from the front, and where American womiB: nurses are on duty. If It is possQR& every wounded soldier will be niiMiB! the care of a woman nurse, hfa plage of comparative quiet and safety, Witt* in twenty-four hours after his injury id received.

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