THE GAB BAG
(By Alan Browning, Jr.)
Tsk Twk and Tsk Tsk
It would seem that the Mount
Airy Times begrudges Elkin her
nice new bridge—or is it they're
core because it wasn't constructed
of Mount Airy granite?
As we can see, they have no reas
on to kick. As soon as some 3,960,-
766,000,000,876,543,456,678 miles
of red tape is straightened out they
ar« going to get a nice new post
office —maybe.
As a matter of principle maybe
we should raise a howl against the
spending of thousands of dollars
just so the editor of The Times will
have a handsome place in which to
lick two-cent stamps.
Simpson, who is an authority on
euch matters, states that a stamp
can be licked just as effectually in
a shack as in a castle. And he has
figures to prove that a letter mailed
in a corner mail box will go just as
far—and as fast —as a letter mailed
xtiidst marble and granite.
Still, we are not going to use our
influence to hinder the building of
Mount Airy's postoffice—and if Ed
itor Ashby will come over sometime
we'll even let him drive across our
new bridge. That's how free
hearted we are.
Expert
Kodak Finishing
Leave films at following
places:.
Turner Drug Co., Inc.
Abernethy's
Choate & Browne
Graham & Click Co.
W. F. BURGISS
Phone 70
'
Eyes Examined Office:
Glasses Fitted Elkin National Bank Bldg.
DRS. GREEN and DEANS
OPTOMETRISTS
Specializing in straightening cross eyes and correcting errors Of vision
Examinations on Tuesdays and Fridays 1 to 5, 7 to 8:30 P. M.
And the Last Ship
Shall Be Saved!
' tf^KSlS3'y¥!k
The storm that rages brings no
panic-stricken victims where there is
a light-house to guide a ship away
from peril. Neither can the fear of
poverty and dependence beset the
man who has a savings account to
rely upon—should his business or
any obligation demand financial aid.
7
»
We Pay 4 Per Cent Interest
Compounded Quarterly
Bank of Elkin
I U.S. GOVERNMENT DEPOSITORY
WORRY AND TROUBLE
Sometimes it's easy to writ* thin
column. We just sit down to our
typewriter, throw our mind into a
complete blank (which is not hard
to do), and then start pounding the
keys until the first thing we know
we don't know nothing—but the col
umn is written just the same.
At other times we can't make
progress at all. Like today, for
instance. No sooner had we gotten
the typewriter oiled and our feet on
the desk than it began to aCt qUeer.
TrY aS we woouuld weee coULd't
GEt tHE blooooming thixxng to Be-
HaVe. THeN wE foound the
MoUsE thAT had gotttten cauugght
IN iT*s innards.
Then again we were worried by
Simpson. He has the most exasper
ating habit of popping up with fool
questions just as we are trying to
think. Just a minute ago he wanted
to know if you could choke a snake?
Having never attempted it, we
couldn't answer him. Then he
wanted to know what fish scales
weighed.
But things look brighter now,
even if we have got to pay for that
plate glass window Simpson just
went through—head first.
WONDER WHAT SHE MEANT?
We havMn aunt who lives away
up in Rock Island, 111. The other
day we received a letter from her,
and we were enjoying the letter
thoroughly until we came to the
following paragraph:
"Old man river is claiming a lot
of lives these days. Many lives are
accidentally lost by drowning. Then
lots of people jump into the river to
commit suicide. Just the other day
a young man called a taxi, got in,
and instructed the driver to take
him across the river. Reaching the
middle of the bridge, he told the
driver to stop and then lie got out
THE ELKIN TRIBUNE. ELKIN. NORTH CAROLINA
and jumped into the water. WISH I
YOU COULD COME UP AND VISIT
US SOMETIME."
Maybe we will, Aunt Cora. But
when we do we'll bring our water
wings.
ALONG MAIN STREET
Q. Snow has a lot on his mind
now, what with being a county
commissioner and everything . . .
No, Oswald, that wasn't a wind
storm last Wednesday. Merely sighs
of relief that the county tax sale
had been postponed > . . Now all
the farmers have to do 16 to figure
how to pay their taxes before the
first Monday in August . . . W. H.
Spradlin, receiver of the Elkin Na
tional Bank, standing on the corner
looking in all directions for some
thing to receive . . Automobile,
correctly parked at the crub in front
of the Basketeria, draws excited
comment from group of curious . . .
Chief Church is now the most
sought after man in town, what
with holding the keys to the asso
ciated charities storeroom . . . Town
commissioners decree that drug
stores must close up at 11 p. m.
But what if we should get the head
ache at midnight, gentlemen? . . .
Now's a good opportunity for Mr.
Armfield to stress te advantages of
building and loan to the crowds at
tending recorder's court on the days
he officiates.
The
FAMILY DOCTOR
(By John Joseph Gaines, M. D.)
GOOD BUSINESS
A good business man is always
held in high esteem because he will
not violate any law that defeats the
chief aim in life —that it be lived
in greatest abundance.
The man who acquires a fortune
and dies in early life is not a good
business man; he has failed in life's
most important end. He has not
had the business sense to take care
of the most precious thing to him
—his health. What is life worth to
you if you are dead, or even half
dead?
Sometimes I have to hammer it.
into the heads of my most intelligent
patrons, that their activities amount
ito slow but certain suicide! Some
take the warning; of course some
do not.
Here are some serious faults that
many so-called business men indulge
in daily: Rushing from home morn
ings, with insufficient breakfast to
fit the body properly for the day's
work. Dining downtown, at "lunch
eon" to save time; these two prin
cipal meals of the day are almost
ignored in the interest of "business."
Going home at the close of hours,
tired, worried, often exhausted in
mind and body, to swallow a heavy
dinner. Lastly, retiring late, in the
belief that the gorge will be di
gested at bedtime.
Th e function of healthy sleep is
to repair the nervous and mental
wear of the day. This wear is not
repaired in a sleep that is simply
stupor—unconsciousness—the stupor
produced by the bludgeon, the
knockout. It is not healthy, in
vigorating sleep; it awakens with
more tire than was felt on retiring.
Such conduct takes its toll in
deaths before death should occur.
The "heart-failure" of the newspa
per diagnosis; the celebral hemor
rhage on men aged before their
time.
"FIELD NOTES"
One of my friend-patrons came
into the office this morning. He is
a fine specimen of-manhood, a good
family and a reliable citizen. But,
he came to me ten days ago with
ACUTE ALCOHOLISM , . . Some
earnest advice—a medicine to take
the place of the stuff that MUST be
let alone—and he was on the road
to recovery; rapidly becoming him
self again. Very well. Almost
ready to return home to his wife
and grown-up daughters. . . .
Yesterday, he told me this morn
ing, he met an acquaintance, a
traveling salesman, a "hail fellow
well met." This fellow was equip
ped with a real arsenal—a quart of
bootleg liquor, that he kept to treat
his customers.- My man "broke
over," and today is entirely off the
mineral .water wagon. Not drunk,
not at all maudlin, but Just a little
extra steam on. Of course be is
sorry and repentant, but he mustn't
go home for another week to face
that trusting wife and daughter.
I mention this for my readers, so
thai they may know how w© physi
cians have to struggle with the
"noble experiment" that we have,
and which some hug to their breasts
as bearing the sprouting seeds of
the millenium, when they fondly ex
pect a "DRY" world will emerge
from its moonshine coils. It is all
well enongb to talk about, bnt Its
practical working in another thing,
or it is so here.
There is not a minute of the day
or night when the victim of dipso
mania can't go out and help him
self to liquor, Jf he has the price
not bonded liquor, but -ootleg! Why
don't I stop it? My dear sir, I'm
not a federal officer; if I were, that
traveling salesman is probably 200
miles out of town this morning,
charging some other man's battery.
No, folks, we shall have to devise I
some other w»y.
Hold Meet At Little
Elkin To Plan Grange
A meeting was held last Friday
iiiSht at ■.Little Elkin during which
time Grange work was explained
and discussed. Interesting talks
were made by A. G. Hendren, of
Wilkesboro, L. C. Carter, of Ben
ham, and Joe Ellis and Miss Hazel
Browne, home demonstration agent,
both of Elkin.
Following the meeting another
was called for Monday night, May
23, to organize a Grange.
Bury President of France
A million Frenchmen lined the
streets of Paris to witness impres
sive national rites for Paul Doumer,
France's assassinated president, on
Thursday, May 12. Premier Andre
Tardieu made the address at the
Pantheon, which was followed by
private burial of utmost simplicity.
Dedicate Washington Temple
The Masonic order's impressive
and lofty stone temple honoring
George Washington was dedicated
at Alexandria Va., on May 12, with
President Hoover as the guest of
honor.
WINE
(J®®] REPAIRING
fast _
Two Expert
Repairmen
Xi*ln Charge
C.W. STEELE
Jeweler
E. Main St Elkin, N. C.
Why Take Tire Chances I
WHEN
GOODYEARS
I COST NO MORE I
If the cost of Goodyear Tires was Millions of motirists have proved
high, then there would be some ex- S K ? lye^. to be the 'ff'
■ that millions more (joodyears are
cuse for the motorist to equip his sold than any other make is conclu
car with a cheaper brand. But with B * ve proof that they are the first
■ ' Goodyears selling for no more than . ?hoiceof
■ , , . * ~ . , , . , bine durability, sturdy construction
second• choice tires it is bad judg- an d tight-grip traction. They are
ment to be satisfied with anything the best and the safest tires you can
less than the best. buy. I
I Double Eagle Service Co. I
I Shell Gas and Oil Batteries Expert Repairing
■>l
And lit the
Weevil WORRY
>i »rt
IOOKS like a mighty bad weevil year. We had
J two bone-dry summer* in 1930 and 1931 and
are about due for a wet one now. Owing to mild
weather, weevils had a picnic all winter and they
are just waiting for the squares to form.
It is going to be a race between the cotton
and the weevils. Cotton sure is going to have a
job keeping ahead of the weevils without a little
help from you. Not much, if any, fertilizer under
it, the crop is almost sure to be slow and sickly
by June. Just the way the weevils want it.
What they do to your crop depends largely
on what you do tor your crop!
Side-dress! Chilean Nitrate, 100 pounds per
acre (200 pounds would be much better) will set
the crop early, ahead of the weevil. Then you are
reasonably safe. But be sure you get Chilean.
Nothing takes its place for side-dressing cotton.
Your dealer has it or can get it on a moment's
notice. See him now!
« i >
Both are natural 200 is. LAOS
CHILEAN NITRATE
EDUCATIONAL /Sgjjfcx BUREAU, INC.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Thursday, May 19, 1932