Newspapers / The Elkin Tribune (Elkin, … / May 26, 1932, edition 1 / Page 6
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I THE GAB BAG (By Alan Browning, Jr.) SALE—WEDDING The following wag clipped from "Salmagundi," another good col umn, which appears in The Statea ▼ille Record. We trust that Mr. Sronce won't be peeved at us for stealing his stuff: Even in the best regulated news paper offices mistakes occur that often prove embarrassing, but the following mixup must have been the result of too much Joy-water imbibed by a printer of the old school whose fingers were never so nimble as when they were tingling with the current that is generated with the dram- Evidently he got the copy of a wedding and an auc tion sale mixed up and was deter mined to follow it even if it went out the window. Here is bow it appeared: "Public Sale —William Q. Jones, the only son of Mr. and Mrs. Jo- Biah Jones, was disposed of at pub lic auction to Miss Lucy Anderson on my farm, one mile east of Lem onville, in the presence of several guests, including the following, to wit: Seven mules, twelve head of cattle. Rev. Jackson tied the nup tial knot. The beautiful home of the bride was tastely decorated with one John Deere sulky plow, one sulky hay rake, one feed grinder, Expert Kodak Finishing Leave films at following places: Turner Drug Co;, Inc. Abernethy's Choate & Browne Graham & Click Co. W. F. BURGISS Phone 70 Eyes Examined Office! Glasses Fitted El kin National Bank Bldg. DRS. GREEN and DEANS OPTOMETRISTS Specializing in straightening cross eyes and correcting errors of vision Examinations on Tuesdays and Fridays 1 t> 5, 7 to 8:30 P. M. After the Tilling Comes the Harvest P^v nnsnf It takes long hours of hard work to till farm soil properly . . . but fruit ful results make it worthwhile! It takes years of regular saving to establish an independent fortune, but the ultimate riches make it worthwhile! How much can you save a week ... your future depends on it! We Pay 4 Per Cent. Interest Compounded Quarterly Bank of Elkin U. S. GOVERNMENT DEPOSITORY one set of double harness, and Just before the ceremony was pronounc ed Mendalaaohn's wedding march was given by one muley cow, one Jersey eow to be fresh in the spring carrying a bouquet of flowers, wear ing a gown of 200 shocks of corn, nine stacks of hay, forty acres of wheat and a lot of other feedstuff. "The groom is a young man of good character, Btands well in so ciety with twelve Berkshire pigs and Bix Durocs, while the bride is an accomplished and talented teach er of a splendid sheep, including one ram with pedigree. "Among the beautiful wedding gifts was a beautiful set of silver ware, including six sets of spoons, two sets of knives and forks, one steam engine and thresher, one reaper and mower, one wheel bar row, one go-cart and other articles too numerous to mention. "The bridal couple left yesterday for an extended honeymoon trip on good terms. Lunch will be served, afte r which Mr. and Mrs. Jones will be at home to their many friends in their cozy home at the corner of Walnut street. Col. Collier, auc tioneer." * • * TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR And speaking of printers and mixed up copy and other troubles of the newspaper game, we might as well print the following verse as clipped from the Monthly Review: As you say, "She may be empty, but I'll tell the world she's clean!" But when the sheet is printed and is out upon the mail, On its way to the subscribers, I have never seen it fail— In the center of the front page, in a most conspicuous place, Some typographical error fairly kicks you in the face. For the'typographical error is a THE BLB3N TRIBUNE. MJHW. NOBTH CABOUKA slippery thing and sly, You can hunt till you are dizty, but it somehow will get by; Till the forma are off the presses It 1b strange how still it keeps, It shrinks down into the corner and it never stirs or peeps. That typographical error is too small for human eyes, Till the ink is on the paper, when it grows to mountain sise, And you see that blasted error far as you could throw h dog. Looming up in all its splendor, like a lighthouse in a fog! That glaring blunder juts out like an ulcerated tooth, Where it dodged the eagle vision of the napping comma sleuth. It is sure too late to mind it, but it fills your soul with rage, As you see it swelling loudly in the middle of the page. The boss he stares with horror, then he grabs his hair and groans, The copy reader drops his head up on his hands and moans— The remainder of the issue may be as clean as clean can be, But that typographical error is the only thing they can see. It was down among the six-point till the copy was all read, When it shifted into blackface or a nice three-column head— Then when the sheet was printed it jumped up and hollered "Boo! You never »aw me, did you? This is sure a horse on you!" * * * THIS AND THAT Haven't had a fire in several weeks now. But maybe the city j papas have exterminated all the match-knawing rats. » * » Those contemplating suicide missed a nice opportunity to secure free poison during the anti-rat cam paign. But maybe they feared the hereafter might be even worse than theTTereis. ♦ * * After weeks and months of tak ing cracks at the way local parking ordinances here are NOT enforced, we found six police tickets on our car last Wednesday night. Revenge with a vengeance, we call it. ♦ » » But we didn't mean to violate I the old parking rules. One wheel i was on the sidewalk and the rear end was sticking straight out into 1 the street, but we could have done worse. We could have parked the thing in the lobby of the postoffice. * ♦ ♦ For the benefit of our out-of | town subscribers, the list of names we have been printing for the last j three issues is not a city directory. It's a tax list. ♦ * * If you are one of these people who like to see other people fling fits, just walk into several of the local stores and ask the owners in nocent-like if they are acquainted with a Mrs. Hauser. Then duck low and run like everything! * » » The lady had looks and system. All she had to do was to select her purchases, throw in a smile with a promise to mail her check, and walk out. * * * I Too bad she had to go get in jail before she could mail 'em. * ♦ * Now that Mrs. Weir has an incu bator, let's hope she doesn't go to counting her chickens before they hatch. * * » And now, after reading this far, you can stop and take a well earned rest. Swan Creek News The Sunday school is still pro gressing nicely. There were 166 present last Sunday. There will be prayer meeting ser vices at the home of Mr. Harrison Vestal next Sunday night. The ser vice will be in charge of Rev. Isom Vestal, of Fall Creek. Everybody is invited. The many friends of Mrs. Tom Cheek will regret to learn that she is in the Baptist hospital at Winston- Salem, suffering from a complica tion of diseases. We hope she will soon be able to return home. The Jonesville Evangelistic club held services at Swan Creek church last Sunday evening. Everyone present seemed to enjoy the service to the very utmost. The service was in charge of Rev. John Triplett. Mr. and Mrs. Sebon Reece and children, of near Boonville, spent last Sunday with Mr. and Mrs.' L. W. Weatherman. Mr. Leonard Reavis spent Sunday with Mr. Paul Swaim, of Ronda. Mr. and Mrs. Roy Myers spent last Sunday with Mr. Myers' parens, Mr. and Mrs. Frank Myers, of Cycle.. Mr. Jim Stroud and son, Wayne, of Ronda, visited Mr. and Mrs. Robt. Swaim last Sunday. Misses Mae and Maxine Mathis spent Sunday with Miss Anna Lee Swaim. Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Myers, of Statesville, were visitors in this community Sunday. Mr. Herman Swaim, of Arlington, spent last Wednesday night with his mother, Mrs. Vina Swaim. Mr. Glenn Swaim made a business trip to Winston-Salem last Thursday. Mr. and Mrs. Guy Myers and lit tle daughter, of Jonesville, visited relatives here last Sunday. Mr. and Mrs. Armstrong Gray, of Pleasant Grove, visited Mrs. Gray's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Jones Mathis, last Saturday. Mrs. H. C. Cook spent last Satur day night in Jonesville with her brother, Ransom Sparks, who is seriously ill at his home. Mr. and Mrs. Sherman Weather man and little daughter, of Fall Creek, spent a'Khott time last Wed nesday night with Mr. Weatherman's parents, Mr. and Mrs. L. W. Weath erman. Misses Callie and Lucy Myers the Sunday guests of their brother, Mr. and Mrs. Arvil Myers. Aged Recluse Is Shot The body of James R. Beliles, 72, a hermit living in a hut in the Ayersville section of Rockingham, was found last week a quarter mile from his cabin, with a bullet hole in the rear of the head. Rob bery of bis person may have been the motive. A search of his hut disclosed $744 stuck into cracks in the wall and other hiding places. Heme Bailey Sentenced Reese Bailey, first arrested in connection with the killing of a Greenville, S. C., officer, was sen tenced at Asheville on Saturday to 7 to 10 years in state's prison for the highway robbery of Jack Green, Buncombr county rural officer on April 2. Sm L F INE |s®3) REPAIRING ®J ® Two ® x P ert Repairmen In Charge C. W. STEELE Jeweler E. Main St El kin, N. C. mnmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMKmmMmffimmmmmmmam I Goody ears are Miles Ahead In I SAFETY I »■ Anyone who gives a little thought to A new tire with smooth rubber in non-skid safety must quickly con- the center of the tread is no safer elude that there are only two kinds a G oo dyear after its tread-cen o tire treac s. er j jag worn smoo th j„ use One has straight, smooth, sled-run- A - . . . , , . . I ' ner ribs of rubber where the tire Am from avera « e dnvln « contacts the road. experience Goodyear All-Weather ,, , J , Tread Tires keep their clean-cut cen ■ The other has tough, stout, sharp- traction thpir non skid safetv— I ' edged, sure-biting traction blocks in * er traction—their non-skid satety— the center of the tread. for somewhere around the first 10,- Virtually all tires fit the first des cription—and the one important ex- You can draw your own conclusions, caption is the Goodyear All-Weather but it looks to us as if this made Tread. Goody ears 10,000 miles safer than It is interesting to note in this con- other tires. neetion that more people ride on There Beem to 3evera| mi||i . n Goodyear Tires than on any ot er motorists like yourself who have reached the same conclusion, because They must find by experience that Goodyear Tires are first choice by center traction makes Goodyear Tires millions. miitht " k! t0 aßk If you want extra safety in the next now mucn. , re y OU jj U j yourse jf one The answer, as nearly as we can question: Why buy a second-choice figure is—about 10,000 miles. tire when first-choice costs no more? ■ Why Be Satisfied With A Second-Choice Tire I When First Choice Costs No More? Double Eagle Service Co. I Shell Gas and Oil . Batteries Expert Repairing: ii ' ii i i i i i ii i Don't give the * ' * l: . V, .. . weevils a chance ALL any weevil asks is a chance—one chance. XX Once he gets busy with a square, the boll is gone. Reports indicate enough weevils this year to ruin the crop, if they get a chance. Whether they get it or not, depends pictly much on you. Weevils can't hurt a crop much, once the boils are set. Because of the heavy infestation this year, set your crop as early as you can. Nothing takes the place of a Chilean Nitrate side-dressing for making an early crop. There is no way a little money could be better invested now than for 100 pounds (200 pounds would be better) of Chilean Nitrate to side-dress each acre of your cotton. Don't fail to specify Chilean Nitrate when you see your dealer. That is just as important as side-dressing itself. Get busy! The weevils will be plenty busy soon. Beth are natural 200 IS. KAQS CHILEAN NITRATE EDUCATIONAL BUREAU, INC. Raleigh, ' ■Sjmiry North Carolina Thursday, May 26, 1932 —.™———!— ———-——.-..1 i«ni».ii i
The Elkin Tribune (Elkin, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
May 26, 1932, edition 1
6
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