-:p:r . ;
Thursday, January 5, 1933
■ 1
MUCH°ABOUT
AM BROWNING, JR.
CHECKING UP ON THE ECLIPSE
After careful inventory of the
solar eclipse on August 31, 1928, as
the principal feature of Old Home
Week in New England, the scien
tific findings of the phenomenon are
roughly as follows:
About 860 photographic plates,
most of them showing a double ex
posure of the battle of Chateau
Thierry and a bowl of creamed onion
soup; one fine picture of the corona
suitable foY framing or the Sunday
newspaper supplements.
Thirteen tons of empty pop bot
tles and picnic plates scattered along
the area of tatality; a spectacular
improvement in the hot-dog indus
try in Vermont and Maine, indicat
ing an early return to prosperity;
a brief epidemic of stiff necks, and
237,465 pairs of dark glasses put
away for use at the seashore next
summer where nobody will ever find
.. them again.
\
Twenty-eight scholarly theses for
the 1933 sessions of the American
Association for the advancement of
science; and an incalculable amount
of new and up-to-date ignorance for
INSIST
BAYER
ASPIRIN
Because • •••
The Bayer cross is not merely a
trade-mark, but a symbol of safety.
The name Bayer tells you that it
cannot depress the heart.
The tablet that's stamped Bayer
dissolves so quickly you get instant
relief from the pain.
There's no unpleasant taste or odor
to tablets of Bayer manufacture;
M injurious ingredients to upoet
the system.
Tablets bearing the familiar Bayer
cross have no coarse particles to
kxitate throat or stomach.
0
1 •
"Everything went up in
Smoke!"
FIRE INSURANCE
Would have covered the
Loss.
Insure today—the cost is slight
compared to the enormous pro
tection.
Paul Gwyn
INSURANCE
ALL LINES
Security Service
Phone 258
Elkin, N. C.
*
; general consumption under the guise
t of popular science. Net effects on
i the sun, moon, solar system, Ein
stien theory and the price of eggs:
Nil. v
—Snitched.
• * •
LINE LOGIC
Many a crooked finger marks a
straight ballot.
Good times will be back again
when a man walking down the street
doesn't shy away from the stranger
who tries to ask for a match or the
day.
"Slow, Gradual Improvement in
All Industries." (Newspaper Item).
At the rate conditions are improv
ing, our great grandsons should
have a nice healthy business left for
them to manage.
It might be well tc make pre
election promises in such a form as
to have a definite date of maturity.
The one advantage of the Chinese
system of settling elections with bul
lets rather than ballots, lies in the
fact that there is never any necessity
for a recount.
—Also Snitched.
• • *
ALONG MAIN STREET
There wasn't any corner loafing
on Main street last week. The side
walks and gutters were left strictly
to the ducks , . . All the pretty
Christmas /decorations are gone,
leaving ram soaked drabness on all
sides . . . Wonder what the new year
holds for us? Yesterday is a closed
book—tomorrow a book that re
mains to be opened. The, question
is, will it be worth reading? . . .
Wonder how one goes about catch
ing amnesia? . . . Our heart bleeds
for Sam Rose ... At the date of
this writing the sun hasn't shone for
yea-s and years . . . We've felt proud
of ourselves ever since we learned
how to spell inauguration . . . But
why go on? Will someone kindly
swat us with a brick. Thank you
too much.
WHAT ELKIN NEEDS
The year 1932 was a hectic year
in Elkin's history. About every
thing under the sun that did the
town harm occurred while as far as
we were able to see, nothing hap
pened that did it any good.
Things have quieted down quite
a bit now, though, and if the scan
dal mongers will cease their activi
ties and various and sundry others
who have been working against the
town's good will quit meddling,
Klkin has a fair chance of swinging
through 1933 in peace and tran
quility.
By glancing over the records of
the past year it will be seen that
all the strife and internal discord
has accomplished practically nothing
other than columns and columns of
adverse publicity. By pulling to
gether and forgetting petty differ
ences and fancied wrongs, we'll find
the town to be a much more pleas
ant place to live in.
And if that ain't lecturing, we
don't know what is.
• * *
THIS AND THAT
You can cuss and rave all you
want to about the new electric rates,
but the fact remains that Elkin
hasn't a more public spirited firm
than the local branch of the S. P.
U. Co.
• * *
Rumors are going the rounds that
a new building is to be constructed
here and will be leased for seven
years. But it's a secret.
• * *
If we think and talk of the Good
Times that- have been promised,
perhaps we can forget the bad
times that are still with us. Let
us pray, therefore, for a "Hopeful
New Year."
• • *
CONSIDER OUR NERVES
As a rule we are not opposed (and
if we were, it wouldn't amount to a
row of pins), to a reasonable amount
of noise upon the occasion of the
birth of a new year, but when it
comes to shooting dynamite almost
in our back yard, It is a little
hard on our nerves.
Last Sunday morning, at exactly
five or six or seven or eight minutes
past 12 o'clock we were jarred from
our chair (we would have been Jar
red from our feet if we had been
standing up), by a terrific explosion
which was ao near the house we dis
tinctly saw the flash. At first we
, thought maybe a bottle of oar near
est neighbor's home brew had ex
ploded, but noting no excitement
over in Silaa' domicile we cama to
THE ELKIN TRIBUNE, ELKIN, NORTH CAROLINA
the conclusion It must have been
dynamite.
Anyway, with sudden shocks like
that taking place we can't see how
the folks that do it expect a tiny
baby like 1933 "to ever amount to
anything. Now don't let us have to
mention this again.
P. S. Since going to press we've
learned it wasn't dynamite after all.
It was Jake Brown trying out the
popgun Santa Claus left v in his
stocking Christmas.
Cycle News
Miss Sarah Ann Pardue remains
critically ill at her home here, we
regret to note. Little hope is held
for her recovery.
Preston Shores, son of Mr. and
Mrs. Adolphus Shores, died sudden
ly at his home near Marler Wed
nesday. The funeral was held from
Asbury Methodist church Thursday,
in charge of Rev. Bumgarner, pas
tor of the church.
Rev. W. V. Brown was called to
Bethel Sunday to conduct the fun
eral services of Mrs. John Henry
T|
4
-;;7
LAST TIMES TODAY"FAITHLESS" WITH ROBT. MONTGOMERY. ADM. 1Q C I
"CONGORILLA!"
* THE ONE AND ONLY TALKING PICTURE ENTIRELY MADE IN AFRICA I
WITH MR. AND MRS. MARTIN JOHNSON! BIG APES AND LITTLE PEOPLE!
NEXT WEEK—Monday and Tuesday — POSITIVELY AUTHENTIC! I
ABSOLUTELY ST WHERE KV- I
SEE IT FRIDAY AND SATURDAY I
CUCA'DM® SATURDAY" I
ZSn lAK L K news reel—cartoon
News-Cartoon Admission 10c-30c ADMISSION ONLY 10 I
WATCH ALWAYSTHE
COMING IN HoaKiuui the
1933 •SI"'"- ™c
MAKE ttf* 13 A \in THE BIG PICTURE OF
ARRANGEMENTS UKAINU 1932 I
NOW TO v f/vr w*r*T
SEE 1 HiJLi I COMING JAN. 23-24 th
Steelman, widow of the late Mr.
Steelman, Sunday.
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Myers an
nounce the birth of a daughter on
December 30th.
Ittr. and Mrs. George Stokes an
nounce the birth of a son on Decem
ber 21.
The schools of the community re
sumed their regular classes on
Monday morning.
Several parties have been enjoyed
by the younger people in our com
munity during the holidays.
Missss Sadie and Eva Dobbins
and Ab Myers spent Thursday in
Winston-Salem.
Gurthrie Stokes, who is a senior
at Misenlieimer College, has re
turned to his studies after spending
the holidays with his mother.
Dr. Spencer Bell, who is complet
ing his medical course in Chicago,
returned Sunday to resume his
work, after spending the holidays
with his mother.
Mrs. Evelyn Pinnix is cinfined to
the Hugh Chatham Hospital in Elk
in, we are sorry to note. However,
her condition is much improved.
The penal population of French
Guiana consists of about 6,000.
HIGHWAY REVENUE FALLING
"We must respectfully call your
attention to the fact that in view or
declining revenue of the state high
way commission, further burdens
must not be placed upon the high
way fund at this time," the state
highway commission says in its re
port to the general assembly re
leased for Monday, and in Ivhich
survey is shown a slump from $20,-
628,923 for the year ending July 1,
1932, to 117J566.315, estimated for
July 1, 1933.
FINE
REPAIRING
m ® Two Expert
Repairmen
In Charge
C. W. STEELE
Jeweler
E. Main St Elkin, N. C.
MECHANIC ICXJuRD
R. C Wood, 35-yem-old automo
bile mechanic, was killed in Raleigh
Sunday when his car went out of
control and crashed into a tree.
Have to Get Up
at Night f
Deal Promptly with Bladder
Irregularities
Are you bothered with blad
der irregularities; burning,
scanty or too frequent passage
and getting up at night? Heed
promptly these symptoms.
They may warn of some dis
ordered kidney or bladder con
dition. Users everywhere rely
m on Doan's Fuu>. Rcooimncuucu
■for 50 years. Sold everywhere.
BbsPoanS