Thuwatey, September 21, 1933
/4AIH BROWNING, JR,
WEATHER
Just along about the time when
the frost is supposed to be on the
pumpkin, providing, of course,
you've got a pumpkin, the weather
man comes along and makes it so
blooming hot that the local ice
plant thinks prosperity has come
again.
We are speaking, of course, of
the weather last week. Just what
the weather will be when this col
umn reaches print we are not pre
pared to say.
Somehow or other the weather
man should be placed under a code
of fair competition. With the
w«eqther unusually hot at this time
of business wilts along with
folks collars. Last week, fin
stance, nearly every dry goods
merchant in town was weeping into
long flowing handkerchiefs. "It's
too late for a demand for summer
STOMACH GAS RUINS
HEALTH AND
BEAUTY
Stomach gas that causes loss of
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__ach troubles caused by acid stom
"ach arfe getting relief from Bisma-
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Abernethy's Drug Store.
[§|| Program .
Lyric Theatre
LAST TIME TODAY—
"BEST OF ENEMIES"
with Buddy Rogers Marion Nixon
Newft —Magic Carpet Adm. 10c-25c
SATURDAY—
JOHN WAYNE IN 'TELEGRAPH TRAIL"
—Also—
Laurel and Hardy in "Me And My Pal"
Serial Admission 10c-30c
NEXT WEM^Monday—Tuesday—
- XjyF S^« R CUHIOS
jp||^A&LJS_HAWK
IS match-sftrar
WieAKXI lOttCAftQ JACK OAKK
News-Comedy Admission 10c-30c
Wednesday Family Show Adm. 10c
-—COMING SPECIALS
Sept. 25-20 I October 2-3 I October 5-0
"THE KAGLJE 'GOLD DIGGERS "OOIA/EGE
and the HAWK" | OF 1083" | HUMOR"
- ' ■
goods," said they, "and how are
you going to get anyone to buy long
drawers and such in hot weather
like this?"
It does seem a tough break, but
B Yi"
get" fi
winter clothing
know a storm will arrive on the
morrow. But let a chilly day come
and they'll buy fur and near-fur
coats even though further hot
weather is assured.
* * *
WANTED—GRAY PANTS
The age old refrain always so
popular with hometown merchants
to the effect that their customers
should trade at home and not go to
the city to buy, contains a good bit
of common sense, for money kept at
home works at home, but what's »a
fellow going to do when he wants
to buy something that the home
town merchant hasn't got?
F'instance, the other week while
pressing our Sunday suit in prepar
ation for Sunday school, we burned
a big hole right through the pants,
ruining them completely. Being
unable to buy a new suit for var
ious and sundry reasons, we hit
upon the idea of purchasing a pair
of gray pants to wear with a blue
coat we got from the associated
charities. We figured a blue coat
gray pants ensemble would do
quite nicely until at such time the
associated charities might have a
complete suit on hand. But alas! A
search of every store in town failed
THE ELKIN TRIBUNE. KLKIN. NOFTW C\ rottv*
I to disclose a pair of gray pants suit
able.
What's a fellow to do? How does
the hometown merchant expect a
person to buy something at home
that they don't have in stock? But
! loyal to hometown merchants, we
haven't been out of town to seek a
| pair of gray pants. However, If
I something isn't done within a few
days, you may expect to see an turn
up some morning without any pants
on at all. And what a sensation
that will be.
* * *
INFLATION
Other than blowing up toy bal
loons, we know very little about in
flation. Yet here of late we have
heard the subject of inflation dis
cussed quite frequently by folks
i who admit they don't quite under
stand it. Still, all seem to think
that only inflation will save us.
AS we get it, inflation would
printh^^jjj^^
ot trade.
But how are they going to pour it
It would suit us all right for the
government to print new money
and pass it around. Just give ev
ery citizen who needed it a hice big
pile of greenbacks upon condition
they spend it for things they need,
and not embalm it in an old sock.
Yet, nice as that would be, would
it work? Would it help the little
man? Yes, until he had spent it.
And after It was gone it wouldn't
come back. For in about six month*
Brother John D. Rockefellow and
the other rich men of the country
would have it every bit like they've
got most of the money supply to
day.
• • *
THESE TROUBLOUS TIMES
The recent robbery of Gurney
Eldridge of over a hundred dollars
goes to show that it is very unwise
to carry large sums of money on
the person. As for ourself we never
do it. In fact, it's hard to find us
with over five cents cash at a time.
To be very truthful, if we ever
came into a large sum of money
the shock would make us so weak
we wouldn't be able to tote it if we
wanted to.
The robbery shows that the
world is getting in bad shape. The
meanness of folks is rapidly com
ing out. Religious influence ap
pears to be on the wane~ The
world is tottering and revolution is
imminent. Even we, always mild
and friendly, caught ourself in the
act of making faces Just yesterday.
And on top of everything else,
major disasters are occurring. Just
last week, on top of hurricanes and
things, Blanche McCarter, over to
the hotel, broke one of Charlie
Brewer's biggest and best mixing
bowls. s
• * *
WE WONDER
Why about every other lamp on
the new bridge never burns? If for
economy's sake, why did they put
so many lights on it in the • first
place? . . . Why the duly constituted
authorities don't remove the tracks
of the Elkin and Alleghany ra'ilway
from across -West Main street and
thus eliminate a crossing that has
probably been keeping up most of
the auto repair men of the town?
... Why a stop and go light is not
installed on the main square for the
regulation of traffic? A mechanical
traffic regulator never shirks. . .
Why the Woman's club doesn't do
something really worthwhile like
working for a public library?
♦ • *
MUTTER AND MUMBLE
A certain local man was heard to
remark the other day that he cer
tainly felt relieved to know that he
wouldn't be bothered any more
about his unpaid city taxes. He had
just received a card bearing the
words "Last and Final Notice." . . .
Dixie Graham is an obliging kind
of fellow. He'll take your tax pay
ments on the installment plan. . .
Q. Snow is very, very cautious
about giving out information. So
is John Jones. . . Charlie Laffoon
requests that if we ever revive our
lunatic department, we include his
name under that heading. . . Won
der if Mr. Parley will make any
more speeches in North Carolina
before November? . . . Parks Hamp
ton is of the opinion that if North
Carolina votes wet It will be by a
small majority. . . A Bible student
who by no means could be termed
a religious fanatic, told us the other
week-end that he thinks people who
point to the NRA blue eagle as
"The Sign of the Beast," are wrong
in their interpretation of the Scrip
tures, but that he believes that un
doubtedly it. is a forerunner of
events as described in Revelations.
* • •
THIS AND THAT
Nothing can make one more mis
erable than a head cold in hot
weather.
• * •
Could it have been Will Holcomb
Preacher Abernethy was talking
about when he said be knew a Hol
comb that waß the only man who
could cut round steak off the ribs
of a steer?
• • *
We would venture to say he could
do more than that.
n cio**. fl
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