GAB
By ALAN BROWNING, Jr.
AT RANDOM
This is the last column we expect to write this year . . . And
although it is supposed to have an after Christmas ring, it is
really being written five days before that most joyous holiday . . .
There's nothing special we can think of to write about . . .
We could mention that on# year ago come Sunday Leoda Child
ress was found dead in a Wilkes county farm house, but that's a
closed case ,now .. . with a mystery still lingering on ... It is also
right and proper that we, a la Walter Winchell, send orchids to
the town board of commissioners for one of their most worth
while acts of the year—the street markers . . . The commission
en by and at large are not such a ~
bad set of fellows although we
don't agree on garbage . . . You've
got to hand it to them that they
kept the tax rate down as well as
put up the markers, which adds an
other worthwhile act to their credit
. . . And while on the theme of past
year's record, why mar it by bring
ing up the pool room comedy
drama?
All in all, we guess the biggest
events of the past year were the
Elkin Fair, the purchase of the de
luxe garbage truck, the Great Rob
bin's circus,' installation of street
markers and our appendicitis oper
ation . . . Not to mention the day Q.
Snow built the first fire of the win
ter at his store.
Speaking of Mr. Snow's first fire,
it's reliably reported that when that
first faint wisp of smoke ascended
his chimney, it was right behind
6,000 swallows, three ducks, 14 bats
and a flying fish . . . The fire was
said to have gone out the second
day because Mr. Snow misplaced his
medicine dropper . . .
Wonder what 1935 will bring? . . .
We went into a local store the other
day, and seeing a Camel cigarette
salesman putting up a Camel dis
play, we called "for two packs of
Wings in our loudest voice, but the
fellow didn't pay us any mind . . .
You might not know it, but a house
caught fire on Elk Spur street last
week. And it's reported that while
home talent was working to extin
guish it; another member of the
family stayed at the telephone to
summon the fire department if it
was needed. Said she didn't want
the local fire truck breaking down
on her street if she could help it . . .
The fire finally went out in spite of
those fighting it, and the neighbor
hood honor was saved.
We were talking to Mr. Bailey the
other night about garbage and fire
trucks and things, and he said that
he, along with a couple of other
(HCLCL c ° CI LDS
000 FEVER
first day
Lfciuid - Tablets HEADACHES
Balve-Nose Drops in 30 minutes
Paul Gwyn
Phone 258
All Lines of Insurance
Representing Strong Stock Com
panies only No Mutuals.
commissioners, were not in favor of
a new fire truck until the town is
financially able to go it whole hog
and buy a real truck ... A real
truck, such as he mentioned, will set
the town back some SII,OOO. With
a truck like that, Mr. Bailey said,
.the town would be able to get a
substantial reduction in fire insur
ance rates . . .
We think it very commendable of
the commissioners to take this atti
tude, but in our opinion when the
town gets able to fork out SII,OOO
for a "real" fire truck, Mr. Bailey
and those other commissioners are
not going to be on the board of
commissioners—or on earth either
. . . One can't live forever.
Personally, and now mind you we
are not poking fun at the commis
sioners, we think a less expensive
truck—say a Dodge minus a gar
bage body and equipped with a
pumper—would do very well as a be
ginning. Eleven thousand dollars is
rather steep even for such a sacred
thing as a fire truck . . . Why not
start small, let the insurance rates
stay up if must be, yet at the same
time provide some fire protection?
Can't we think up some of the
cutest things?
You probably know by now that
Klondike Nira has gone to the place
where pastures are always green
and where there's never an iceberg
or snow ... In other words, the cow
that Klondike Farm loaned the Byrd
expedition is dead . . . And although
it can't be helped, it does seem a
shame that she couldn't be brought
back to her native pastures alive in
asmuch as her time down there was
so near up . . . Klondike Nira is
survived by one son, Klondike Ice
berg, and a pedigree three feet
long. . .
Maybe we're too uncultured,
brainless or untutored or something
to appreciate grand opera. We'll
grant you that some of the music
is pretty while other parts sound
like a nervous woman having a
tooth pulled. Then there's the silly
portions that get us tickled at places
where we should by rights be sob
bing into the end of the table cloth.
The other Sunday night we were
listening to "Madam Butterfly" over
the radio, sung and spoken in Eng
lish. You remember that touching
scene where Lieutenant Pinkerton
rushes upon the scene to find his
child wife. Madam Butterfly, dying
after she has plunged a sword into
her body? Well, that's what strikes
us as ridiculous because we can't ap
preciate it, we guess. For instance:
Instead of the great lover yelling
for a doctor and ambulance when
he finds his true love dying upon
the floor, what does he do? Does
he attempt to administer first aid?
Does he attempt to make her last
moments more comfortable by at
least placing her upon a bed or
couch or whatever it is Japanese la
dies sleep upon? No! He takes one
look and then bursts into song! And
no doubt it's his singing that really
hastens his loved one's death. So
what?
Present day musical comedies, if
you are hunting the ridiculous, are
the same way. The hero pours forth
his love for his lady love and she
falls upon his neck. Then, instead
of letting nature takes its course the
silly lover bursts into song and his
sweetie joins in the chorus.
Uncultured brute that we are!
As a last paragraph before 1934
goes the way of all old years, may
we wish all of you far more than
you deserve during 1935.
Happy New Year!
In 1904 a Swiss manufacturer in
vented the first hat. Up until this
time people wore hoods, scarfs and
caps.
--;■'- - ■ . | m
THE ELKIN TRIBUNE, ELKIN. NORTH CAROLINA
Complete First Session
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The above class has completed the first session of the adult textile
school, sponsored by Chatham Manufacturing company.
Reading from left to right, back row: C. P. Darnell, Y. B. Johnson,
Hope Brown, Vernon Holcomb, C. H. Layell, P. E. Layell, Edgar Hayes.
Second row: Frank Roberson, Roby Reece, J. M. Freeman, Horace Vestal,
R. G. Burchett, G. W. West, Harold Lewis (instructor), Jonah Lyons.
Seated: Sam Johnson, T. H. Cockerham, Ed Walls, Chas. Young, Smith
Collins, John Yarboro, Pat Osborne, H, F. Mcßride. Two members of the
class, J. H. Myers and Cleat Simmons, are not included in the picture.
rz S=PROGRAM—9 rH
Show. A
LYRIC THEATRE jgi
TODAY ONLY—(Thursday)— • FRIDAY—
PMnaa'FIRE BIRD'
A TK With All-Star Cast
Comedy Admission 10c-25c
1 SATURDAY— ?
1 M .1 v |' tfl ZANE GREY'S
I / I "Wagon Wheels"
| NEW PROGRAM
I first two minutes! win o poor chauffeur's S
■III | J llfl B fnß 2 S B jjffljrP' *
BB Servants Entrance
News Admission 10c-25c /f FOX Picture with
NED SPARKS
MIDNIGHT SHOW LOUISE DRESSER) i ■
G P HUNTLEY IB -
TONIGHT (THURSDAY) 12:00 O'CLOCK ASTRID ALLWYN ' f
ON THE STAGE SIEGFRIEDRUMANN \
TL Ql I • Li. D y News-Cartoon Adm. 10c-30c
Ihe otar Light Keview wednesday-family show
-12 PEOPLE 12 "I AM A THIEF"
featuring ADMISSION 10c
DOT AND DELLA MAE THURSDAY-FRIDAY—
Harmony Team " N () W AND FOREVER"
-AND MANY OTHER FINE ACTS ShMey Temple _ Carole Lombard _ Gary '
ON THE SCREEN— - C °° per
"MENACE" SAT ° RDSy KEN MAYNARD ■"
With All-Star Cast Adm. 10c-25c "KING OF THE ARENA"
Eyes Examined office'
Glasses Fitted Elkin National Bank Building
DR. P. W-GREEN
OPTOMETRIST
Office open daily for optical repairs and adjustments of all kinds. Ex
aminations on Tuesdays and Fridays from 1 to 5 p. m.
By Appointment Phone 140
Radio Service
BY AN EXPERT
RADIO SERVICE MAN
Complete Line of Tubes and Parts
REICH-KAYES-BOREN
(Incorporated)
PHONE 70 ELKIN, N. C.
Thursday, December 27, 1934