YOU NEVER CAN TELL ABOUT SIMPSON
From here it looks as if the Gab Bag is not going to have
anymore unusual photos unless we get out and take them
ourself, because Simpson, the man with the left-handed
brain, has quit the photography business and gone to making
hair restorer.
You never can tell about
enthused about picture scoops/
and now he Is all worked up over
growing hair on bald domes.
We had a letter from him this
morning in which he gave us the
lowdown on his new preparation
for restoring hair. He calls it
"Simpson's Simplified Solution
for Restoring Hair to Bald
Pates." That's what it says on
Some Believe
in Luck
Others Insure
HUGH ROYALL
ALL FORMS OF
INSURANCE
PHONE 111
HANES UNDERWEAR MjjMl
Belk-Doughton Co. Kffijynri
• When you buy a pair of shorts in \ L—' \
34, take them home and put them on ... to JL M
find they're a scant 33 and the buttons won't
button, you've a right to be unhappy. / \
In HANES broadcloth Shorts, a 34 is a 34. I \
You get the size the label calls for. There is / lj \
no skimping in material or workmanship. And
shorts that fit you last longer. J J
The seat is full .. . cut generously for com- L . I l
fort. The long and wide enough to fit SHIRTS AND
properly. Kmart new patterns and colors—all poAinrinTu
guaranteed fast. Lastex web in the waistband. BROADCLOTH
HAINES broadcloth Shorts and a HANES SHORTS
Undershirt make a perfect combination for mm w* _
coolness. See your HANES Dealer today. * *
SAiJS.? SPORTS KfHgf 3 for H
35 c - d 50 c Wmss
a* law as ZTa.
P. H. HANES KNITTING COMPANY
WINSTON-SALIM, NORTH CAROLINA
ft MOT Of JIT OUK runiDLT ITOM FOB fjMj§ I
| BINES UNDERWEAR #3 j
| j
| ELKIN, N. C. {
ELKIN'S QUALITY STORE SELLS
HANES UNDERWEAR
"3° The Men's Shop
hat guy. At first he was all
the circular which comes with
each jar, but on the box it mere
ly says "Simpson's Salve." And
also with each jar is a little
pamphlet entitled "Hair-raising
Tales for Bald Headed Men."
According to inside informa
tion, Simpson's Salve" is made up
of two ingredients, namely, cran
ium softener and hair seed. The
cranium softener, when applied
to the hardest head, softens up
the dome so completely that the
hair seed can sink in and take
root. It is claimed that hair will
sprout within three days, if the
head is carefully watered twice a
day. Better results may be ob
tained by standing out in the
rain, we understand.
One of the many advantages of
Simpson's new hair restorer is
that it will grow hair in any col
or or shade desired. The circu
lar lists the following colors: red,
pink, yellow, purple, orange,
black, white and the two new and
popular colors, Monday blue and
mildew grey.
In case Simpson's Salve should
fail to give complete satisfaction,
Treat Your Lawn
With
TOBACCO
STEMS
PHONE 117
F. A. BRENDLE
& SON
Elkin, N. C.
THE ELKIN TRIBUNE. ELKIN, NORTH CAROLINA
it may be used as a rat exterm
inator, provided one is afflicted
with bald-headed rats.
Have you a little bald spot? If
so, use Simpson's Salve. But first
write us, enclosing one dime, and
we will send you the address of
a good funeral director. No
bother at vail. We would send
the funeral director himself, but
a dime won't cover packing and
handling charges.
• • *
IT HAS ITS PROBLEMS
Column writing is full of prob
lems, especially when one does
not feel in the mood to campaign
for or against anything. And
having done enough campaigning
recently to last us for a few
weeks, we have no desire to even
get in the mood at present.
Still, a good campaign fills up
space fast, while just messing
along like we have done thus far
in this column proves slow go
ing. When we started writing
about Simpson and his salve up
above we thought we had some
thing that would at least fill
three-fourths of the column, but
after exactly seven paragraphs
we had completely exhausted our
subject. „ But that's the way with
lis. Any subject we are able to
get our hands on always exhausts
so easily.
• There used to be a time when
Elkin's navy was good for a col
umn any time. That was when
a new ship was being launched
almost every day and we could
get along just fine by just rat-,
tling off a dedication story. If
the ship happened to sink when
it hit the water, then we changed
it into a submarine and dedicated
it anyway. But alas! The day
of the U. S. S. Lizzie, Hootnanny,
River Rat, Percy and its kin ap
pears to be gone forever. Spring
freshets have completely wreck
ed the navy, and just at a time
when a few Yadkin river fight
ing boats are so badly needed.
For who knows where Hitler
will strike next? Why it wouldn't,
surprise us to see him come row
ing up the Yadkin most any time
so he could protect somebody.
Hitler is great on protecting peo
ple. Rather than let someone
blow your head off, he'll do it
himself.
One good way to get rid of
Hitler would be to talk him into
attending a Republican conven
tion and giving three cheers for
Roosevelt. He wouldn't last five
minutes.
Speaking of politics, who are
you for for President? As far,as
we are concerned, we are not for
anyone who has as yet an
nounced. We don't like Dewey,
and we don't like Vandenburg or
Taft. We wouldn't vote for Mr.
Farley and we wouldn't vote for
Mr. McNutt, and John Nance
Garner is just not our idea of a
man to be president. We would
favor Mr. Hull, if and when he
was a candidate, but we expect,
when the votes are counted in
November, this country will find
Mr. Roosevelt in the White House
for four more years.
We are not against a third
term for Mr. Roosevelt, or any
other man whom we think is a
good president, Democrat or Re
publican. Why toss a man out
on account of tradition just when
he has held a job long enough to
learn the ropes? Thurmond
Chatham has been president of
the Chatham Manufacturing
Company for more than eight
years, but wouldn't it be rather
silly to toss him out and put in
an inexperienced man just be
cause someone thought he had
held the job long enough?
But that's the trouble with pol
itics. The outs are always trying
to get in regardless of whether it
will benefit the country or not.
And of course the ins are trying
to stay in, only some of the ins
want to get further in by being
president. Or something.
A lot of politicians think too
much about how to get in, and
stay in bffice than they do about
what's good for the country. If
they can think up something
that sounds good to the voters,
then to heck with how it affects
the nation.
And voters are about as bad,
some of them. If Satan himself
was running for office, we know
some men who would vote for
him just because he was of their
party. It is just a case of putting
party loyalty first and the wel
fare of .the country last.
Or are we all mixed up?
Chances are we are.
Let's forget the whole thing.
DAMAGE
After only 100 years of intense
cultivation, farm land in the
United States which has been de
stroyed, seriously damaged or
threatened with destruction totals
an area nearly equal to all the
land from which crops are nor
mally harvested.
QUOTA UPHELD
BY THE COURT
Ten Are Fined for Aiding and
Abetting Evasion of
Penalties
HAD EXCESS OF QUOTA
The provisions of the Agricul
tural Adjustment Act which will
govern marketings of the flue
cured and Burley tobacco and
cotton in 1940 have been com
pletely upheld in a criminal case
against a gfoup of Cleveland
county farmers, according to E.
Y. Floyd, AAA executive officer
of N. C. State College.
In the first criminal prosecu
tion in the Nation involving cot
ton under the Farm Act, Federal
Judge E. Yates Webb levied a $25
fine on each of the 10 defendants
who pleaded guilty to charges of
aiding and abetting evasion of
penalties incurred on cotton mar
keted in excess of their market
ing quotas. In addition, the
court ordered the defendants to
pay approximately $4,500 to the
Cleveland County Agricultural
Conservation Committee as un
paid penalties.
"This decision is of great sig
nificance to farmers who have
voted for and will use the Na
tional marketing quotas for
1940," Floyd commented. "The
way is cleared to enforce the law
against any person who has
sought or will attempt to evade
the provisions and penalties of
the marketing quotas for cotton
and tobacco. Cooperators in the
farm program can be assured
that they will have the full pro
tection of the law in their ef
forts to obtain better net income
and avoid wasteful surpluses."
Floyd urged farmers and busi
ness men who are in doubt about
their responsibilities under the
marketing quota provisions to
consult their county AAA com
mittees for further information.
The quota provisions of the farm
program will be enforced by both
civil and criminal action when
ever necessary, he said.
WE'LL TRADE
jot tfjufmuJke £a/t
you a Better
V'vW
MORE—of the good things that count/
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ELKIN MOTOR CAR COMPANY
Phone 25 , Bridge Street Elkin, N. C.
RIDING BIKE ON WALK,
YOUTH INJURES GIRL
Miss Sadie Hobson, of Elkin,
received a fractured right arm
last Friday afternoon, when she
was struck by a bicycle ridden by
a boy on a Main street sidewalk.
Not thinking she was seriously
hurt at the time, Miss Hobson
didn't get the boy's name. A
later examination at the Elkin
hospital disclosed her arm was
fractured.
CHICKENS
Oklabar is the name of a new
breed of chickens developed by
the Ohlahoma A. & M. College.
Their sex can be determined as
soon as they hatch.
WANTED!
Refined girls for Beauty
Culture Training. A com
plete course for only $50.00.
STATE ACCREDITED
Mae's School of
Beauty Culture
North Wilkesboro, N. C.
Mrs. Jake Church, Prop.
DON'T SAY
'vS** HOLSUM
MRS. M. D. HOOTS
* HAMBD DISTKIiUTO* f Oft
chaiu/*
FOUNDATIONS
The makers of Charis Adjustable Foundations are
happy to announce the appointment of Mrs. M.
D. Hoots as local distributor for these nationally
famous garments.
Mrs. Hoots has recently completed an intensive
course in modern figure analysis and figure
styling. She will provide an up-to-the-minute,
personalized Figure Improvement and Home
Corsetry Service.
The superior features of Charis-designed founda
tions are well known to most fashionably minded
women. The patented adjustable Charis design
and unique lightweight contour control offer
advahtages not found in other garments.
Call Mrs. Hoots, no matter what your special re
quirements may be. Yfeu may reach her, after
4 P. M„ at
BOONVILLE, N. C.
Distributor for Elkin and Surrounding Territory
CHARIS CORP'N • ALLENTOWN • FA.^
Thursday. April 18, 1940