Newspapers / The Duplin Times (Warsaw, … / April 12, 1984, edition 1 / Page 16
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SON OF A GUN by Joe Lanier Several years ago ? no, actually it was a few more .than several ? but anyway, 1 was working in this store when a dollar was a lot more important than it is today, value-wise. It would buy three gallons of gas or five packages of cigarettes, or five loaves of bread, or five pepsis and five honey-buns. And no one but the dime store collected the sales tax. It was figured in the price. . .So. the dollar was worth quite a bit. . .One day a customer came in and made a purchase. She paid for it with a S10 bill and left. A short time later she came back saying she had given the girl a S20 bill and received change for a $10. The girl said she remembered the transaction and was sure it was a S10 bill and even opened the cash register and there was no S20 bill in the register. Still the woman insisted. I had been listening all the while and was becoming angry, as I was sure of what was in the register and what was not. . .Finally 1 could stand it no more and anger got the best of me. 1 told the lady the girl was right and the argument began. Then I said "1 know who you are. I know your father and mother and where you stay. 1 also know you try and cheat everyone you can.". . ."Oh, yeah," says she. "Just who are you?". . .1 said "My name is Joe Lanier.". . ."Well," said she, "I have nevet heard of a Lanier that would not tell a lie.". . .My face turned red and I was about to sling another verbal insult when I happened to think, I don't believe I know a Lanier that wouldn't stretch the truth, either. That night on the way home. I stopped by my dad's house and told him about the remark, and he, too, said he couldn't think of one who would not tell a lie. . .Back to the lady and her , argument. . .Well, she did not get another $10 out of us. Sheriff Miller came by a while later and 1 told him about the woman and he said, "Oh, yes, I know her daddy. He makes liquor, and when he gets ready to move his still, he sets the woods on fire so everyone will be out trying to stop the fire and not pay attention to him.'\ . .The story is true. The names have been changed. I am sure you ail know Laniers do not use falsehoods. . .A fellow in Kenansville told it to me for the truth, but as the statement about midway in the story said, he is not always truthful. . .So 1 decided to change the name to mine in case some of his clan disagrees. . .True or false, 1 liked the story. .. ***** A few years back, but not quite so many as in the story above, around Easter merchants would dye young chicks, ducklings, rabbits and so on to sell as Easter novelties or pets. The little newly-hatched biddies were so cute, soft, lovable, cuddly, that whether they remained brightly colored yellow or their color was changed to red, blue, or whatever, many were sold. Many youngsters received the chicks and tried to cuddle them, only to squish them, tried to feed them but didn't have the right feed. So they starved. And they tried to grow them in areas that ordinances said they could not live. Though they may be cute and cuddly, it was quite cruel. . .Thank goodness a law has been passed to make it illegal to sell or barter live baby chicks, other fowl, or rabbits under the age of eight weeks as novelties or pets. . .The statute carries a misdemeanor fine not to exceed $100 or imprisonment for not more than 30 days, or both. . .1 realize the chicks and rabbits are mostly bred for slaughter, but when they are slaughtered they provide a foodstuff, and not a horrid mess as is many times the case when they are sold for pets. . .Good law, in my opinion. . .Son-of-a-Gun . .. Country Music Benefit For Tornado Victims Donna Stoneman of the Stoneman Family of Nashville, Tenn. and Donna Lanier of Warsaw (Mrs. Son-of-a-Gun) chat backstage at the Country Music Benefit held in Greenville Sunday. Some over $25,000 was raised to benefit North Carolina tornado victims. Grand Ole Oprv and country music greats Hank Snow, Charlie Walker, the Stoneman Family, Juanita Rose and others gave of their time and even paid their own expenses to Carolina to perform at Minges Coliseum at East Carolina University. The university gave the Coliseum free and the ECU guards provided security, free. . .By the way, one of the security guards was George Pollock's grandson. George lives in Warsaw. Donna Stoneman said her mother had 23 children. Her sister, by the way. plays on Hee-Haw as Minnie Lee, the snaggled-toothed woman with curlers in her hair. She said the reason her mom had so many children was because she was hard of hearing. Her dad would come in from work and say, "Want to fix supper or what. Ma," Not hearing him plain, she would say, "What." , ? | Make Your Class Ring j ) up to $59 Richer...Free! ? ^ Bring this ad to our store and choose from these free options, J I ?*3[V worth up to $59: *5%.%, ? metai ^enlevement Top S. Letter on Stone Fireburst Stone ^ Faceted Fireburst ! Choice of Understone First Name on Side Engraved Name Inside j Color Date Side Any Year Date ' White Gold | % ^ "1 y j j Plus a Free Graduation M / J Key Chain ^ i_' For Classes ol 84-87 | V ^ i - ? * ?? - Gold Lance Class Rings ? Another Quality Product from Towie 2-4 Week Delivery ? Full Lifetime Warranty ! HOLMES' JEWELERS \ ? i I Front Stroot 296-1443 Kenansville | ^ CNp Ml and bring to oof atora by May 31,1904 to quality. I M CTATF STORE iBBfe ;> 1 0HIVHKV 8 TILL 7 INSPECTED (flfl[jlf/^a)60AVS Wrap Meats we reserve the right to limit QUANTITY f^^gp^?rounp 1 ? boneless ?round steak *1.89 lb. i i cubed boneless ?round steak *1.99 lb. I ? bottom ?round steak *2.19 lb. i i top ?round steak *2.29 lb.i ?ground ? 1round^^^^^*1^79lbj i /mrm smoked 1 I picnics I baking i i spare ribs hens i HOUSE OF RAEFORD mixed fryer i i parts & i I GpMjk leg quarters i I 59;. I 9 i bs grape jelly CTSnEssEry I 69* EACH I I WHITE ? potatoes ,0 LBS. *1.79 i ? lettuce EACH 39' I ? CALIFORNIA NAVEL joranges 6/79* J ???-p I II [jl, pepsi-1|, I ^ cola II 2 liter i 6 pak. case i i [ *5.79 |l ?cozy kitchen !<?z ll ? cakes *1.79|l i peter pan ? peanut ??? ii ibutter *1.4911 Ikraft catalina soz I idressing 79*||, ?cates salad cube isoz | ipickles 89*11 mrs. paul's i fish ^sticks ii Ikraft american ??z |'j [cheese SINGLES 89<|| Imerico butter-me-not ibiscuits 2/89*|l 9 OZ. | i detergent ||0 i mackerel ii l$weet 2v. CAN 11^* ?potatoes 59*11 | purex '|| | ggj bleach 11 ^pillsbur^|| ?hungry jack||? | instant || | potatoes 11 i $1 *0916 ?zl i dulany i k I BROCCOLI SPEARS 11 I BRUSSEL SPROUTS 11 ^ 59< io oz. j |
The Duplin Times (Warsaw, N.C.)
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April 12, 1984, edition 1
16
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