pj-gH On the" M Funny /J%% Side wj' SUCH IS FAME Bernard Shaw was hurrying to Eustace Miles' restaurant one day when he heard an interesting bit of talk betind him. "See that bloke?" i "Old red whiskers? 'Oo is 'el* "Shaw." "Shaw?" "The great vegetarian eater." "Go on I" "Fact." NO MATCH FOR HER A -r w I ? Ik? / Conductor?Do you know this is the smoking car. Miss? Flap (producing cigarette)?Certain. ly?have you a match for me? < Conductor?No, Miss, I think not. ?k?: The G. H. The ground hog, from my very heart, I speak of In regret In real work he plays no part And never makes a pet A Noisy Name Mrs. Johnsing?Ah thought you-ail said you wah gwine to name your new v baby Victrola, but Ah hears you-ail done make a change. Mrs. Moses?Yes, Ah expected it would be a girl an' Ah had decided to name her Victrola, but she turned out to be a boy, so Ah done name him ^ Radio.?Christian Advocate. Dear Little Bluebelle "Darling," asked mother, "why must jrou remain at a dance until three in the morning?" "Well, you see, mother," explained Bluebelle patiently, "we didn't start the dance until eleven." "Couldn't vou start at eight?" "I don't suppose anybody ever thought of that." THE POUTED PIGEON Swrrfts "Look, Bill, that fellow must have (wallowed a toy balloon!" Casual Observation Investigations bring A at&ta of mind intense? Yet ?eldom ?how a thing That makes much difference. Careful Barber Til have a shave but no tonic or shampoo or singe or shoe shine." "Yes, sir; may I use a towel on you. sir?" She Meant It "I will find means to make you love me!" "If you have means, I will love you!" ?Klelnes Wlt2blatt, Vienna. Last Chance for Economy "There's only one way to save, dear." "What's that?" "Move over to my father's house." Nearly 'er? Sprechen sle Deutsch? Im?Huh? 'er (repeating slowly and distinctly) ?Bprechen sle Deutsch? "I don't grasp the point" "I say, do you speak German?" "Oh, sure, sure!"?Cornell Widow. Strategy "What became of that widow with the teething child?" "She's all rlgbt She married a floorwalker.?The Progressive Qrocer. Just as Bad Jones?I didn't sleep a wink all night I had an awful toothache. Smith?Ah, you should try repeating to yourself, fifty times every day. "Get behind me, pain!" Jones?Nothing doing. Do you think I want lumbago? Historic AMinlkntoa T hotrn hoM on naltvlnnl VVUUiuuivr a uuiv um vii^tuai Joke which I? Editor?My dear man, yon don't look that old.?Columbia Jester. , How He Knew "And all at once I stepped right on a big rattlesnake," he began. "How did you knoyr It was a rattlesnake, Jimmy?" asked his father. "I could hear Its teeth chattering b . the minute it saw me.'' r\ Doesn't Follow "You must be happy, having all the money you want" "That's queer logic. Is a man necessarily healthy beosa? u. all be wants to eat?" ; V ' ^ : ~.BILL SAM'S DICTIONARY Jgltnt By J. L. MARTIN Bee Little, who takes up with every new thing that comes along, Is about to go crazy again over a newfangled religion he has picked up somewhere. Bee says that he is afraid that every neighbor he has will be lost because they are too indifferent to listen to reason. INDIFFERENT: Said of a fellow who does not manifest any apparent concern In some other fellow's pet hobby. Bill Sum's Dictionary, page 503. !T PAYS TO ADVERTISE The Steady Advertiser Is making his Dally Trip to the Bank with the Day'a Haul. He is Loaded Down but he J -*- Ci Ort 1- nAnra If UUtfbli I OCtlll LU iUlUU. UC ftuung *k Pays To Advertise and couldn't do without The Paper any more than The Paper could do without him. He never complains about Business being Dull. , TURN ME OVER -y^^nq~\j-g^yA^ jlSp jfut {orfunt, -titHy u id Z/yourwifbwould dit irv 7 X THE CHLERFU. CHEM) ommmmmmmmmmm?mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmw lt> ?M?ry porx*v? dvty To look Ki? v%ry b%?t % wK-vt Ht?wr% yov Arvd "try to do tk%. r%?t. irm MUST HAVE LOST He?Mv first wife msrripd me tern my money. She?HoWd she make out? STRONG WORDS "Have his words much power?" "They lifted a weight from my iBlnd." % * K .III I JlFew^ @ Little # ^SnulesO' SCOTTY'S PLAN Two Scotchmen had planned a hike Into the country and had agreed to I meet at a certain place at five In the ' morning. Only one of them owned an alrfrm clock, but he finally hit on a solution of rousing the other. "Mac,'- he said, "when the clock goes off I'll get up and ring ye on a public telephone. But, be sure and don't answer It, so I can get my nickel buck." MIGHT ADD SOMETHING " Director?Your play, sir, is too short for the stage. Playwright 'hopefully)?How long Is your stage? Why He Offered Hit Seat 'Twas not an act of chivalry". Nor yet the fear of scorn; He offered her his tramcar seat To keep her oft his corn. Getting It Right Two American negro soldiers were discussing musical Instruments. "Yas," said one, "I'se gwine to get me a eucallptis." "A what?" Queried the otlu.v "A eucallptis?dat's a musical instrument, fool." "Go on, nigger! You can't kid me? dat's one of the books of the Bible." Retreat for Men Talkative Woman?It's a shame the way we women slave for the men. Home wouldn't be home without us. Can any one think of any home without a woman? Man (In rear)?Yes, ma'am, the Old Soldiers' Home.?Progressive Grocer. Two Utet "I wish some cod liver oil." -we now uuve BC* tnu vmitruea, Bald the druggist "Is this for children?" "Yes." "Do yon wish to nse It as a medicine or as a punishment V ENVY P?1 Envious Bug ? Oh, shucks, why haven't I got a lot of arms so 1 can be a great juggler like Mr. Spider? Jealous Bacauae ha waa plucky Succaaaful waa ha; But when hla frianda told It Thaw left off tha "D." Day of Variety Grandma?People don't seem to marry as young as they did when I was a girl. Grandflapper?No, old dear, but they do It oftener. Why He Gave Her Age Eldest Sister?Don't you know better than to go telling everybody how much older I am than you are? Little Brother (Indignantly)?I have to, else people would think you were my mother. t The Limit Tve sent back your letters, your gifts, your ring. Is there anything else I can dor "You might return my love."?Cornell Widow. Whafg a Hall For? Irate Father?When you were In the hall last night. I distinctly heard that young man kiss you. Explain yourself. Daughter?Why, daddy?It Isn't nice to make a young man stand out on a cold front porch. Slavee Aunt Rachel?When I was your age we always kept our legs covered. Ruby?Oh, styles will make one do almost anything. The Alarm Clock Madge?Yes, father Is awful sore at me. Betty?Because yon stayed oot in late? "No, because I forgot 'to wake hlni up when I came In." The Ideal Match "So they're engaged n( I Mat. It's an Ideal match." "Think so? ItowT "He hat money and she know* (to* to ?Dend It." 1. .. V ..J-.jj - f.A^. VFTt?3 TPVON K- C FARM rootIKY ARTIFICIAL CHICK MUST BE CODDLED Overcoming lack of vitality In the artificially [ reared chicken is one of the chief (problems of the modern poultry producer in the opinion of ^rof. L., F. Payne, head of the department of poultry husbandry at the Kansas State Agricultural college. "The artificial chicken," said Professor Payne, "Is hatched artificially, brooded artificially, supplied an artificial ration, and latest scientific developments have made It profitable to supply this type of chicken with artificial sunlight?light from quartz mercury vapor lamps. "The artificial chicken has little In common with Its ancestors who were hatched in small numbers under hens. They fed on grain around the stack, grasshoppers from field, and minerals from the soil. They grew Ho be strong, robust chickens, able to roost in the top of a tree or id ine waguu shed all winter and be none the worse for exposure In the spring. They produced a meager surplus for the market basket and the dinner table, but they did survive. ? Health and vigor were their chief assets. "The important thing in managing this new chicken is to make its artificial life as natural as possible, recognize its shortcomings, and keep the poultry house free from draft9 and dry." The advantages of the artificial chicken are that it lias a more rapid rate of growth, loses(f the maternal instinct, and is a heavier producer of eggs, Professor Payne stated. I Natural Incubation Is Most Satisfactory Plan Natural incubation has proved to be the most satisfactory method of hatching goose eggs. Tiie first eggs that are laid should be placed under domestic hens for incubation. Large Brahma and Cochin hens can Incubate seven goose eggs at one time, while hens of the American breeds will not be able to cover more than four or five, depending on the size of the hen and the size of the eggs. Geese will cover nine or more eggs It Is always advisable to have a smaller number under domestic hens and geese than they can cover. The period of Incubation for goose eggs is from 28 to 30 days. Geese are remarkably good sitters and are very successful in hatching their eggs. In order to successfully incubate goose eggs, a certain amount of moisture is required. In some localities it is the custom during dry weather, or when the nest is located in a place that Is unusually dry, to dampen the eggs every four days by sprinkling them with water warmed to a temperature of 100 degrees Fahrenheit. It is generally con sldered, however, that It Is better to moisten the earth around the nest, or If geese are used, to permit the goose the privilege of a swimming pool. If she has the opportunity of swimming, she will carry some moisture to the eggs In her feathers each time she comes from the water. Insure Development of Goslings by Right Care Hens are often given four to six goose eggs to Incubate, but as the eggs are large, the hen may not give them enough turning. Turning them by hand once or twice a day helps to Insure the proper development of the goslings. If the goose has her nest on the damp ground, It Is not necessary to add moisture to the eggs. When goose eggs are hatched in an Incubator, or In a nest that la dry, moisture should be added. On the seventh day sprinkle the eggs wl^h water at about 100 degrees. During the second week sprinkle the eggs twice. At the start of the third week they can be soaked In warm water for a minute about every three days. During the last three days, soak the eggs for a half-minute to a minute every day. Goose eggs usually take about thirty days to hatch, but the time may vary from twenty-eight to thirty-three days. White Diarrhea Cause White diarrhea la transmitted from the hen, which is a carrier of the disease, through the egg to the chick. Scientific Investigators tell us that 1 three testings of the flock may be necessary to eliminate, or nearly eliminate, the trouble. The fact that the disease may have seemed to lie dormant one year and then appeared again may be due to two causes. New birds may have become carriers. All of the carriers may not have been eliminated by the test. Hens for Breeding Hens that have gone through their second laying season are usually used for breeding purposes, and they are considered the best. The reasons that pullets are not used Is that the percentage of eggs that hatch Is small and that the chicks are small and sometimes lack vitality. The size of the chicks Is largely determined by the size of the egg. The chances are that you would not bo satisfied with the results If yon use the pullets tor breeders. Ounce of Prevention Ordinary colds In poultry will often develop Into contagious roup unless Immediate precautions are taken. Mymptoius of cold Involve excretions from nostrils end evns nnrt >nm? wheeslng. ("old nmjr ba controlled by removing drafts or dump conditions In Him poultry bouse or by securing belter physlcul conditions through proper feeding end giving of tonic. A good tonic constats of one part of epsom sails and one part of sulphur with twelve parts of dry mash, j < . . . ... - .... " Y- *, . I BB i BHA BBBA IV II I ijMriBr pWI i^f il In / ^^A~^r*ll B ^lvaBaaIBI II "1^^/ \^^IIIA^ i? SANITATION BEST STOCK SAFEGUARD Even tfiough the United States la now tiie safest country in the world in which to own live stock, the great losses which are being caused by animal diseases may be expected to continue until stock owners and all those interested in the production of live stock are educated to the necessity of careful sanitary measures. This is the opinion of workers in animal pathology and hygiene division of the college of agriculture, University of Illinois. Sanitation Is one of the best insurance policies that a live-stock breeder can use to protect his live stock against disease, the animal pathologists say. Proper sanitary measures rigorously applied and carried out are perhaps the best weapons known for the control and eradication of contagious and Infectious diseases of ani mals. It is true that such measures will not alone suffice. They would, however, prevent the outbreak and dissemination of many diseases and unthrifty conditions, for it is well known that most, if not all, disease-producing organisms live in filth and Improperly built, poorly ventilated and undralned buildings, sheds and feeding lots. Veterinary medicine is gradually undergoing a change In the methods used for combating disease. Formerly It was the practice to consider as more important the treatment of the Individual animal. Today the tendency is to turn more to the development of methods whereby disease can be prevented by sanitation. Hog cholera, which was the scourge of the hog Industry at one time and made the racing of hogs more or less of a gamble, may be prevented when serum and virus, properly prepared, are administered by well-trained and experienced veterinarians. The intestinal roundworm of the hog, which threatened to make hog raising unprofitable In many sections of the 'United States, Is now being effectively controlled by the use of sanitary principles developed by veterinarians. Where live stock men have followed these principles a larger percentage of the pigs farrowed are saved, there are fewer unthrifty pigs and greater gains are made with the same amount of feed. Alfalfa Pasture Likely Cause of Stock Bloat Alfalfa pasture is very likely to cause bloat. In order to at least lessen the chance of bloat, do not turn stock In upon thejgfffalfa until It Is thoroughly dry in the mornings, and do not put them into It hungry. If you have another pasture for them to graze on in the mornings, it would be much better. Or, when accustoming them to It, feed them well on some other dry feed and put them on the alfalfa but a short time, gradually lengthening the time which they are allowed to stay each day. If the case of bloat In the cow is not eitreme, it may be sufficient to drive the cow, or let her walk for water. In some cases the following simple treatment may be successful: A rope of twisted straw is knotted with pine tar or wagon grease or other unsavory substance and is placed in the cow's mouth as a bit, being secured by tying behind the horns. The effort of the animal to dislodge this brings the mouth and throat into action which stimulates the secretion of saliva In swallowing, thus opening the esophagus which permits the exit of the gas. Proper Exercise Needed to Prevent Constipation After sows are "penned" for safety and to become accustomed to their new conditions of housing and feeding, care should be taken to prevent constipation which condition contributes to excessive feverishness later. This may be prevented if the sows are properly exercised and some changes made in the feeding. Where a number of sows have been penned and, as is frequently the case, do not have individual space for exercise, the desired results may be accomplished by turning them together for a portion of the day where they may pick over some clover or alfalfa hay. For several days before the expected date of far row, tne grain reed snould gradually be reduced to one-half the former amount and a part of this should be composed of such laxative feeds as bran and linseed oil meal. Where the sow Is restricted as In penning her up. she has less need for a full ration. The bran and linseed oil meal and alfalfa or clover hay serve to regulate the bowels to the right condition. Live Stock Notes 'i Pure-bred live stock scrub treatment Is a poor Investment. Ability to turn low-priced feed Into enough high-priced meat to show a profit, spells success for the stockman, r .1 - - A sow should get no feed for about twenty-four hours after farrowing? but give her all the lukewarm water that her feverlshneas craves. When all Is said and done, It will be found that nothing Is going to take the place of common-sense management of the farm Itself?and In that management live stock,Including hogs, should have a very prominent place. ? The sheep tick Is a black, wingless fly which subsists on blood which It i sucks from the sheep. In piercing 'lie skin It causes more or less Irritation and the sheep with many ticks In It suffera and loses in weight and strength. A TTllk HVil fLook-for I the Cross I and Circle I Printed in Red on Every Package of I Instead of Kalsomine H Because only genuine Alabaitme will give y^u thov v.lt c-!^u J colon, which add so much to the beauty ot ycui horr.e. H Good decocaton use AUhastine. Nearly all sto:-< srli * . Ask jrom dealer or decorator to show you iam| ]f< 6-' '"j tt.tvfl dust on a little Cutlcura Talcum to n leave a fascinating fragrance on skin. an , P,,r "'I'MisiB Everywhere 25c each.?Advertisement 8 e( r'11 1 ' wj ? m. Wriffht's Ind.an Helpmate indlgesi.uB, I "Daddy, I'm In love with a work- txUi'boi'to rn'reui't"* lng girl." "Fine, my boy. Can she support you?" Abnormal length cflH of the leg. from the hfl Living by one's wits has been rec- Is characteristic cf vnmended as an antlfat remedy. race of Australia. V 1 What makes theH value in ! General Motor;? Cars? I 1 SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH Atf)H TEST. Centering in the largest automot* I laboratories and proving ground in the uorli I 2 COMBINED PURCHASING! POWER OF MANY COMPANIES I Insuring the best materials at the lowest pr& 3 VOLUME PRODUCTION.^ 120,000 skilled workers made more tha 835,000 Qeneral Motors passenger cars m trucks in 1925. 4 QUALITY BODY WORK Fisher Body Corporation is a part of I Motors. 5 WORLD-WIDE MARKETS Sales and service in 144 countries. 6 FAIR PRICE POLICY. StaM I prices, with General Motors' savings fx"54? I on to the buyer. H 7 GENERAL MOTORS ACCEP< TANCE CORPORATION. A company owned by Qeneral Motors, ando* I surtng sound terms and low rates to tv# I purchasers. All these factors mean that General Motors has every facility and ever? in* centive for maintaining quality & the product and value for the price* GENE RAjl MOTORS! CHEVROLET ' PONTLAC ' BL'lCK OLDSMOBILE - OAKLAND CADILLAC ' GMC TRUCKS "A. car far every pwrM and purpose a < 4 \ -i; . ' . > v.* *