Newspapers / The Cherokee Scout (Murphy, … / Feb. 11, 1965, edition 1 / Page 5
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and Clay County Progress ESTABLISHED JULY, 1889 JACK OWENS Editor and Publisher RED SCHUYLER. . Advertising Manager PwktiaKtd ?v?ry Thursday ot Church StrNl, Murphy, North Carolina. Second Clots Postoge Poid At Murphy, North Carolina. SUBSCRIPTION RATES S3. 09 Ono (1) Yoor in Cherokee, Clay and Graham Counties, N. C.t ond Nontahala, N. C.; Towns, Union ond Fcytnin Counties, Co., and Polk County, T onn. ALL OTHER AREAS lYoor $4.00 - 6 Months $3. SO All subscriptions delivered in North Carolina In clude tha state's throe per cent solas tax. If Only They Had Waited EDITOR'S NOTE: The following story appears in the January issue of ''The Reader's Digest". With consent of that publication, it is being re printed here for the benefit of Scout readers. Digest reprints are offered free to Scout readers at the Scout Office. If you prefer you may order one by mail enclosing a self -addressed, stomped envelope for its return. The Scout's mailing address is P. 0. Box 190, Murphy, N. C. AUTHOR'S NOTE: I had to wait six months before I a>uld write this article, even anonymously. The hurt was so deep that only time could parti al I y heal the wounds. Then with time came the insistent belief that perhaps, by telling our story, we might help others avoid the senseless tragedy that has twisted the lives of two families. For no matter how we try to avoid admitting it to ourselves, tragedy is what has occurred- - -and we parents must share the blame. It was a lovely moonlit Sat urday evening in May. My hus band, Nathan, and 1 were read ing in our modest home in a typical Midwestern town. Our 18-year-old son, Paul, had left a couple of hours earlier to escort his steady girl - friend, Nancy Crawford, to their high school senior prom. WHEN THE DOOR opened at 10:00 and Paul walked in alone, both Nathan and I looked up in surprise. Even before Paul spoke, I knew that something dreadful had happened. His large hands clenched at his sides, he said slowly, "Nancy is going to have a baby. We're getting married. We just told her family." For a moment, as if I hadn't heard, I gazed at Paul's strong handsome face. Then what he had said began to penetrate my consciousness. Stunned, I looked over at Nathan. He had raised his hands to cover his face. I turned back to our son, the dependable Paul we had been so proud of, the senior voted Most Likely to Suc ceed, the basketball star. How delighted we had been when Paul settled down to going steady with Nancy a beauty with brains and character, president of her class. We had attributed Paul's improv ed grades to Nancy's in fluence. Now he said huskily. Mother, Dad- - -I'm sorry to hurt you. I'm so terribly sorry." I heard my words tumbling out: "So this is how you prov ed you loved Nancyl Just how can you support a wife? And we trusted youl Oh, Paul, how could you do such a thing?" Nathan, a high-school his tory teacher, has often acted as counselor for students in trouble. But this time the student was, with bitter irony, his own son. Paul responded forthrightly to his father's questioning. A few days before he had taken Nancy to our family doctor. Earlier that evening, they had phoned for the results of the pregnancy test. Nancy was two months pregnant. The doctor had made them promise to inform their parents during the week end. Suddenly, I was thankful that our 12-year-old son, Tony, was away on a Boy Scout camp ing trip. "What did the Craw fords say?" Nathan was asking. Paul ran his fingers through 111.. "Mrs. Crawford didnt say much. She just cried." ..Jhen.he went ?" Quickly, Nancy s dad was awfully mad. But he said I didn't have to marry Nancy, and I?" "Yes," I interrupted. "Nancy can go to a home and have the baby and give It up 10 an adoption agency." Paul shook his head, "Oh, not" he said, almost in a whisper. "I wouldn't let Nancy do that. At first, we were going to run away, but we knew that wouldn't solve anything." His face was so serious, to pitifully Immature; the words so sincere: "We want to get married and make it right." Abruptly, Nathan Stepped .... , ... pacing the floor. "Paul, you realize, of course, that if you marry, you can't go to the university? It was going to be a tight squeeze anyway." Na than lifted his hands helples sly; he had counted so proudly on his son's college education. "You know that the Crawfords won't be able to help you. They can't even af ford to send Nancy to the wo men's college right here in town." Paul's chin quivered slight ly. "Ill get a good job- - - and save money. And I've got money in the bank." Nathan shookhishead. "You can't possibly earn enough to be a husband and father and go to college, too." Though white - faced and shaken, Paul insisted that no matter what the consequences, he loved Nancy and wanted to marry her. My heart ached for his naive faith in the power of young love. How often I had heard Na than speak publicly on the rise of teenage marriages. Stud ies revealed, he pointed out, that more girls now marry at 18 than at any other age; that one out of six brides is al ready pregnant; that the di vorce rate for teenagers is higher than that of any other age group. Statistical odds were overwhelmingly against a marriage for Paul and Nancy - - - under any cir cumstances. Eventually that awful night passed, and it was Sunday. Nathan phoned the Crawfords and invited them to our house. Oscar Crawford Is a book - keeper in our town. His wife, Ethel, and I had become super ficially acquainted through Paul's romance with her daughter, the oldest of four children. I dreaded facing the Crawfords. But when I saw them coming slowly up our front walk- - -Nancy, her head down, walking between her parents- - -momentarily I felt even sorrier for them than for ourselves. ALL FOUR ADULTS ex-| changed embarrassed ameni ties. I had half-expected that I would want to speak out, to tell Nancy and Paul what their selfish act had done to our two families. But her brown eyes were as fearful and beseeching as a wound ed fawn's. I held my tongue. Nathan asked the young cou ple to leave us alone. Then Oscar Crawford began tone lessly, "We're not here to insist on a shotgun wedding." Nathan's face colored, "You can't insist. Paul is under age, and must have our per mission to marry." Mrs. Crawford sniffed. "Well your boy certainly did fool me. 1 thought Nancy was safe with him." "It always takes two," I snapped. Suddenly Mrs. Crawford's face softened. "I'm sorry. 1 didn't mean it that way. We're all in this together. A look of perceptive under standing passed between us. We parents whose lives were being entangled groped and floundered to reach a rational level of communication. What exactly were we to do? Even Id . ? ... ik fee*. - tually, we decided to let our children marry, for it seemed unrealistic to expect, or to force, Nancy to choose having an illegitimate baby over mar rying Paul. During the next three weeks before school ended, we tried to behave as though it were normal to arrange for a sud den wedding of 18-year-olds. But one day a perplexed Tony confronted me. "Some kids at school said that Paul has to marry Nancy. What does that mean?" It was the most disturbing question I had ever had to ans wer. I hope I nandled it with out showing too much of the resentment I felt toward Paul. There were so many quest ions I couldn't answer. Paul and Nancy had received sex education in school and in struction in a decent moral code from various sources, including their parents. Who or what was to blame for our two seemingly nice adoles - cents getting into trouble? It was easy to point a fin ger at society, with the mass media emphasizinggratificat ion of sexual drives as natural and glamorous. Or perhaps at the 20th century, in which so many people fear that there may be no tomorrow only today. It was easy to blame the prevalence of attitudes that ridicule chastity as old fashioned. It was harder to blame my self. But when I honestly re viewed my life as Paul's mother, certain scenes emerged into focus. Long ago, I had given up at tending church, assuming that Paul could learn the differ ence between right and wrong at home, could select his own religion when he was older. Naturally, he had soon aban doned Sunday School. But what spiritual inspiration had I giv en him as a substitute for church? And I had been ridiculously eager to have him date, to succeed on a social level. I had encouraged him to earn money to buy a jalopy. 1 had coerced him into growing up too fast. Now, inevitably, he must grow up faster than I had ever dreamed would be necessary. A recurring argument be tween Nathan and me returned to haunt me. Nathan had wor ried that Paul and Nancy were together too much, had pointed our the well-known pitfalls of "going steady". When he questioned me about their studying together for hours in our basement playroom, I scoffed. Now, too late, 1 rea lized that our playroom was the place where the tragedy had started. They were good youngsters. But, as parents, we should have talked to them directly, candidly about the tremendous power sex has to quiet con science. We should have made clear to them how aware they must be of the dangers - - - before passion took over. We had given them no con crete wall to lean on when their emotions started run ning strong. Gradually, I recognize^ my self as a guilty member of the lax society I condemned. ON GRADUATION NIGHT, Nathan and I listened to the oratory extolling the glorious future for youth. Paul re ceived his diploma, and as we clapped we tried not to think of how thrilled we would have been- - -if. Two days later Paul's '55 Ford roared into the drive way of our home and he burst into the kitchen. "Ive got a swell full time Job atBlakely's garage!" His eyes shone. "Of course. 111 be just a gas jockey at first. But I know I can work up to a mechanic." Excitedly he described how much money he could save. As enthusiastically as I could, I said, "That's fine, Paul." I watched him as he flip pad through the pages of the morning paper. Only momen tarily did his eyes scan the feature listing the colleges chosen by his classmates, jj "Where's that ad- ? -nifty one room furnished apart mem with kitchenette?" He dialed a number and talked briefly. Crestfallen, he turned from the telephone. "The rent is $125 more than half my month's pay check." ] Paul sat down heavily at the kitchen table. He rested his chin on his hand. "Mom, we are sure to fine something nice soon don't you think?" I watched Paul go slowly down the hall to his room and shut the door. I knew then that my son realized, for the first time, that life had closed in on him, that the door of the future had shut- - -hard. THE WEDDING DAY ar rived- - -a day 1 had once dreamed of; now I dreaded it. Twenty - one people crowded into the Crawford's narrow, spotless living room. Besides the immediate fami lies, the only guests were schoolmates of Paul's and Nancy's. The room seemed hot and close as a girl sang in a thin soprano, "I Love You Truly." My heart quickened when Paul, so straight and hand some, stepped up to stand in front of the minister. How proud 1 would have been ? - otherwise. The out-of-tune piano fal tered bravely through "Here Comes the Bride." And there was Nancy, coming slowly down the short hall on her father's arm. Her lovely face was somehow sad. Then she and her stoic father were be side Paul. The minister began. Dearly Beloved, we are gathered together- - -" i focused my mind on empti ness. Not even one tear would escape. Nathan nudged me. I rose for the final prayer. At last the ordeal was over. When Paul had helped Nancy cut the wedding cake, we all had punch. Soon afterward the wedding party assembled on the front lawn. F inally, the new husband and wife emerged from the doorway amid a shower of rice. They hur ried toward Paul's jalopy. He opened its door with a flourish. Come on, wife, we have a long way to go." We all waved vigorously as they drove off on a five-day honeymood. And that would be the end of Paul's hard - earned college fund. The others went into the house. Nathan and I stood at the curb until the car had disappeared around the cor ner. "The Lord help them - - -and us, too," Nathan said fervently. He put his arm around me. We walked forlornly back to the house. I knew that we were both thinking the same thought. If they had only waited! Forever seared on my heart today are the words I have not been able to say to Paul. I say them now, not out of bitterness or anger, and not because they will help our Paul; but rather, because some boy, some girl, some time may remember them be fore it's too late. Paul, no rationalizations, no tricky sophistry, no "mod ern moral twists can change the fact that your life and the lives of those who love you most will never be the same, will never be as contented or happy or hopeful as they once were, because for one selfish moment you ignored your re sponsibility to Nancy, to your family, to your society- - - and to yourself. (Reprinted with permis sion from the January 1965 Reader's Digest. Copyright 1964 by the Reader's Digest Assn., Inc.) Deed Transfers C. L. Alverson, Tr., et als for F lrst Methodist Church to Emily Davidson, Maybelle Easley, Jean White, Kather ine Stewart, Louise Bayless (Trustees for Archibald D. Murphy Chapter of Daugh - ters of American Revolution) property in Murphy Town ship. M. G. Crawford to M. G. and Jane C. Crawford, pro perty in Cherokee County. Posey J. and Catherine Crisp to Dock and Edith Gib son, property in Andrews. J. N.,Frances,A.J.,Madie, Madelyn, Marie, T. D., andR. D. Cole et als to Lorraine Brooks, property in Hothouse Township. L. M. and Kate Davis to Fred M. and Joyce Davis, property in Valleytown Town ship. W. M. Davis, Et Als, Trustee, to Trustees for Dauthers of American Revo lution, property in Murphy Township. Edward Dickey, Tr., et als, to Trustees for Daughters of American Revolution, pro perty in Murphy Township. Columbus S. and Belzie Evans to James and Mary Jo Evans, property in Cherokee County. David andOmaElrodtoGale and Betty Jo Elrod, property in Shoal Creek Township. Alvin and Evelyn Gladson to Delbert and Marcia Kreps, property in Cherokee County. Jerry Hatchett, Trustee, et al, to Trustees for Daughters of American Revolution, pro perty in Murphy Township. Lloyd and Mae Kephart Lov ing et als to Do vie Kephart, property in Cherokee County. Clay County 4-M Corner By 4-H Agents Are you interested in elec tricity and electrical gadgets? If you are, the 4-H electric project offers a real oppor tunity for you to learn more about electricity. In addition you have the opportunity to win various expense-paid trips, awards, and to participate in many 4-H activities. We are now planning to organize a county 4-H electric group. Any 4-H club member car rying the 4-H electric project is eligible to be a member of this group. Kenneth Woodard has agreed to serve as advisor for the group. ? * * * * Another project which should be of interest to many 4-H*ers is the individual crops project. Crops in this project include corn, tobacco, forage crops, and commercial vegetables, (peppers and tomatoes). All expense-paid trips to National 4-H club congress are spon sored for the state winners in corn, tobacco, and commer cial vegetables. Now is the time to start making plans for the crops projects for 1965. ? ? ? * ? The 4-H Demonstration Program is on?, of the most important parts of the overall 4-H program. In giving a demonstration, club members show and tell how to do some thing, pertaining to their 4-H project work. Begin planning now to give a demonstration this year. The district contest will be held June 22 at Asheville. You can get a lot of ideas on demonstrations from your project manuals and record books, magazines, and news papers. Talk with your lead ers about a 4-H demonstra tion. If we can be of any help, let us know. ***** Clay County 4-H Council License To Wed Buel Clinton Ward, 18, and Patticia Jean Jordan, 18, both of Memphis, Tenn. Bobby E. Hogan, 21, and Barbara Sue Davis, 18, both of Andrews, N. C. David Vance Welch, 22, Waynesville, N. C., and Joyce Lee Sneed, 21, Murphy, N. C. Mr. and Mrs. George Keas ler Murphy spent Sunday with Mr. and Mrs. E. C. Suit, -sc Rev. J. C. Swanson is to preach at Liberty Baptist Church Sunday morning. The service will be followed by a baptizing weather permitting. delegates met on January 30 in the Agricultural Assembly Room at 10:00 a.m. The delegates elected Coun cil officers for 1965. They are: Larry Groves, president; Sara Mease, vice-president; Steve Armstrong, secretary -treasurer; Becky Ledford, reporter; and Greg Howell, (ong leader. Other club members at - tending were Joy Smart, Chris Ressell, Betty Faye Coffey, and Nancy England. The coun cil will meet regularly on the last Saturday of each month at 10:00 a.m. Now Open LICENSED PLUMBER APPLIANCE REPAIRING For Your Plumbing and Appliance Repair Needs 24 HR. SERVICE ****CALL**** I Burns Plumbing Co. 105 Filth St. Phone 837-2228 Murphy. N.C. After six great years like this what could Pontiac possibly come up with next? The 1965 Pontiac: Car of the Year! That's what! We had to reach a climax somewhere along the line. And what better climax tor a car than to v<in Motor Trend's Car ot the Year Award for 1965' Nothing cou'd olease us more, except maybe the way people are Buying our cars. And they are. Drive one and find out why. SEE YOUR AUTHORIZED PONTIAC DEALER Ed Townson Auto Co. UT*T?"V.;? Dealer No. 60I Phone 837-2322 Murphy N. C. modern home lighting adds new beauty, new charm!1 Modern lighting ? fashionable lamps and built-in fixtures ? can make the difference in your home's appearance. Proper lighting makes the difference between faded, dull-looking rooms and those with real nighttime charm. Your rooms take on a new atmosphere . . . look bigger and more attractive. Modern lighting also furnishes the right kind of lighting for every seeing task in the home, helps each member of the family in his activities. Now's the time to check the lamps and lighting fixtures in your home ... to be sure that they are decorative and sight-saving. And for help in planning exactly-right lighting for your home, see us. This help is yours, free, for the asking. - _ ? MURPHY ELECTRIC POWER BOARD
The Cherokee Scout (Murphy, N.C.)
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Feb. 11, 1965, edition 1
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