A Case For Lazy Fair Lawn Care
A question for you male readers:
Have you ever noticed how you can
make other guys start whistling?es
pecially in some place like a men's
room?just by whistling yourself?
You know what I mean. You wan
der in and things arc real quiet.
Some guys are finishing up, wash
ing and drying their hands or comb
ing their hair. Others arc doing their
business. And the rest are jockeying
for a stall position.
But nobody's talking. Not a word.
So you unconsciously start whistling
a little tunc, just to case the tension.
Ninety-nine times out of a hun
dred, if there arc at least three guys
who don't know each other, some
body else will start whistling. Guar
anteed.
Saturday morning, I noticed that
the same thing happens whenever
anyone on the block starts cutting
the grass. At 9:30 a.m., when I
dragged out the mower, everything
was dead still. Just a few birds
chirping. A car door slamming
down the road. Some kids yelling in
the distance.
When my cars recovered after
shutting down the cursed ratUc trap,
I noticed that at least a half-dozen
other lawn mowers were sputtering
away doing laps around lawns all
over the neighborhood.
Maybe it's some kind of sublimi
nal message reception learned in
childhood. The little putt-putt-putt
of a far-off Briggs and Stratton re
minding a husband that the chores
must be done before he goes out to
play. Or maybe its the spouse that
picks up the sound and does the re
minding.
In some neighborhoods, where a
well-manicured lawn is seen as evi
dence of a family's good breeding,
the sound of another man's mower
hard at work is like a call to battle.
These homeowners can be made to
feel guilty at the mere suggestion
that the Joneses arc not being kept
up with.
I myself cannot.
Isn't that why they invented
Astro-Turf? So we could be free of
this self-imposed bondage to the un
attainable ideal of a weed-free lawn?
So yard maintenance would be re
duced to an annual oncc-over with
an industrial carpct cleancr?
A closcly-croppcd lawn is an in
sult to nature. Like shaving the hair
off your Labrador retriever. Or snip
ping all those nasty blossoms off a
bouquet of roses. Or serving your
guests boiled corn cobs with the ker
nels scraped off.
If it were up to me, tall grass
would be a sign of good citizenship.
An indication that the owner is ac
tively promoting nature's niuogen
cycle and cultivating as many oxy
gen-producing photosynthctic cells
as can possibly be crammed onto
one 5,000-square-foot lot.
You are probably wondering how
I attained this higher plane of envi
ronmentally aware landscaping con
sciousness. I must say, without a
doubt, that I owe it all to the Fred
Astairc of laissez faire lawn care:
my dad.
Moving from one new subdivi
sion to another across the suburban
Northeast (courtesy of the DuPont
Company), Dad was confronted
with a debilitating scries of new
home landscaping challenges. It
seemed that each of our new homes
was built on land from which the de
veloper had scraped off (and proba
bly sold) every morsel of arable top
soil, leaving a barren moonscape of
rock-hard clay.
With sod and seed, fertilizer and
lime, spreader and sprinkler, he
would do his best to make the desert
bloom with bluegrass and shrubbery.
Sometimes the magic worked and
sometimes it didn't Most times, we
were long gone before his efforts
bore visible fruit.
So when we moved to yet another
new housing development in New
Jersey and found another 1.5-acre
"lawn" of red clay and shale. Dad's
first impulse was to "pave it and
paini it green."
His second impulse was to con
duct a controlled bum after the so
called "grass seed" planted by the
(vanished) developer sprouted into a
representative sample of every unde
sirable weed species known to horti
culture.
During his initial denial phase,
before coming to grips with the full
range of the developer's crimes, my
dad theorized that neighborhood
delinquents had filled the grass-seed
spreader with gathered weed seeds.
This idea was abandoned once the
golden field of dandelion blossoms
bore colorful witness that this was
far beyond the scope of youthful
mischief.
With no hope of creating a real
lawn out of the mess, by Dad made
a fantastic discovery. He found
that?to all but the overly nosy ob
server?a closely cropped field of
weeds looks just like closely
cropped grass. Close enough, any
way.
So he bought a lawn tractor, as
signed me the task of operating it,
and spent his weekends on the golf
course. As a side benefit, the tractor
provided me with a summer job.
Instead of pestering Dad for an al
lowance, I made a small fortune
feeding and fertilizing and cuuing
all those fussy neighbor yards.
As my first motorized vehicle, the
tractor also gave me valuable train
ing that would serve me well as a fu
ture automobile driver. I learned
how to do power slides and wheel
stands, how to speed-shift a manual
transmission and how to repair mi
nor scratches and dents in a vehicle
so Mom and Dad never found out
that I "borrowed" it.
Dad's second yard maintenance
revelation was even more signifi
cant. After about 20 years of doing
absolutely nothing to the lawn ex
cept cuuing it, the grass somehow
choked out the weeds. Today his
lawn looks just as good?even up
close?as the yards of all those
neighbors who spent thousands of
dollars on fertilizer and weed killers.
Now if 1 can just convince Lynn
of how much belter our lawn would
look if we let the grass go to seed
for the summer...
PHOTO BY BILL FAVft
THIS PROUD ROBIN keeps an eye out for any intruder which may threaten her nest.
Birds On The Nest
BY BILL FAVER Grackles and orioles make nests more basket-like as
This is the time of year when we are likely to find do some of the warblers.
nesting birds in almost any shrub, vine, or tree in our There is always the question of what to do when we
yard. find a baby bird out of the nest. The purists in environ
With the loss of many nesting areas, birds are will- mental circles say we should leave them alone, that
ing to come to sites where they this is the way of nature. Others feel we should put
can find some shelter and where them back in the nest if we can do so without causing
they are not likely to be disturbed, stress to the adult birds, who may abandon them.
B^iyaRL^Slin,8 ^'VC a, My suggestion is to use common sense and return
&ssrzrjsrisz * ?**rr^yor:gciio^M
, .. , . . ' not, put it in a brushy vine or high enough to give it
and someumes birds will return to "^ugii and see if the adult bird can coax it
the same areas year after year if ^ ^
they are not harmed.
Most mockingbirds, robins, car- It is best to watch the bird on the nest with binocu
dinals, and similar species prefer lars, for any disturbance when nesting and egg-laying
faver to make a shallow to deep cup begins may cause the birds to abandon the nest and go
nest along a limb or in the fork of a branch. Wrens, elsewhere. Once the birds have hatched and the feed
bluebirds, chickadees, and crested flycatchers prefer a ing begins, we can get closer, but we still should never,
nest box or an abandoned hole in a tree or fence post, never touch the young birds or the nest.
Nuthatches also prefer a hole in a dead tree which they Let's let the birds do their thing, and we can take joy
will fashion themselves if given the opportunity. Most in watching them and in contributing to their continu
of the woodpeckers do the same. ing presence with us in our own backyards.
Loyol Nascor Fan
Rallies To Defend His Sport From 'Mr. Carlson'
MORE LETTERS
To the editor: an avid fan of Formula 1 Grand Prix
My letter is in response to Eric racing. I too like to watch Grand
Carlson's column about Nascar be- Prix racing, but can't for the world
ing a boring sport to watch. see why anyone with any kind of
To begin with, any sport?or, for right mind would like to race a ma
that matter, any subject including chine (as Mr. Carlson likes to call it)
being a professional journalist?can that is stripped of everything except
be boring when a person docs not four open wheels, a high-revving en
understand what they are writing gine and (listen to this one) a driver
about. I feel Mr. Carlson does not lying on his back about two inches
fully understand Nascar after read- off the pavement.
ing his article. I wonder how Rusty Wallace
I'll agree that it gets very hot and would have looked had he been dri
that there are 50,000 hot, sweaty ving this machine in the Daytona
people, but we Nascar fans love it. 500 and flipped it end over end nine
Mr. Carlson stales that there are a or ten times. I'll bet my entire
bunch of cars painted up like laun- Nascar collector card set that he'd
dry detergent boxes running around have more than a little scratch on his
in circles, but I watch Nascar and chin. Or let's take this machine to
follow it every day of my life in one the godforsaken (as Mr. Carlson
way or another, and 1 only see one called it) Talladega Speedway and
out of 42 cars that races weekly with let Rusty flip it 15 times and see if
laundry detergent advertising paint- he comes out with only a hurt wrist
ed on it. Mr. Carlson stales that those
Mr. Carlson slates thai he grew up Nascar lumbering billboards
couldn't keep a Formula 1 car in
sight for a single lap of Grand Prix
racing. I'll agree with this, but what
could keep up with a one-hundrcd
plus-thousand-dollar engine with a
turbocharger turning out four or five
times more horsepower than a
Nascar engine?
But let's take this same Formula 1
Grand Prix machine to Bristol,
Tenn., on the high-banked half-mile
oval and I'll bet the Nascar machine
could lap the Grand Prix machine
400 times out of 500 laps of Nascar
racing.
Mr. Carlson states that Nascar
folks (which should read fans) will
be shocked to learn that Grand Prix
races require a driver to turn left and
to turn right. They have to use the
brakes AND the accelerator, and
they go up and down real hills. If he
watched the Nascar Save-Mart 300
from Sonoma, Calif., on Sunday, I
hope he changed his mind complete
GUEST COLUMN
Small World, Big World: We're
Outdone At Our Own Doorstep
BY KARL E. BRANDT
The bus boy was a witty Frenchman from Granville,
which is on the west side of Normandy on the St. Milo
Gulf coast, where the Germans wasted their machine
guns on me whilst I zig-zaggcd up to 12,000 before D
Day in World War II.
Of course, Normandy brings to mind Calvados, that
ancient apple brandy and, as fortune had it, one dessert
on the menu was apples with a Calvados sauce. Ummm,
good!
It's a small world sometimes.
Another bus boy and the maitre'd were from
Portugal; the canny and most efficient waiter from the
Philippines, the chef and his nearest assistants represent
ed Germany, Austria and the Philippines. Yes, there
were 16 nationalities among the 300 highly motivated
food preparers and service personnel on this floating ho
tel who won, for the third straight year, the distinction of
having the best food among cruise ships.
But no Americans!
The other 350 crew members contained only a sprin
kling of Americans and 28 additional national origins.
World War II got us into the habit of being a bit smug
as well as foot sorc...a double meaning which made up
the graffiti which appeared everywhere: "Kilroy was
here."
Then, there were the trips to the moon, our huge air
craft industry, various technological firsts, the last of the
"super powcrs"...you name it. We are smitten with self
approval.
But in this Big World, somehow, Italy and others built
better cruise ships than the United States...Of course!
Our shipyards were idle or building warships only.
And now there are more than 80 modern cruise ships
plying the seas and visiting United States ports to pick
up a mostly American clientele and furnish us with the
most enjoyable travels at affordable prices, but only a
handful of American contributors.
This is 50,000 maritime jobs our unemployed youth
could be competing for and untold thousands of ship
building and re-fiuing jobs. Given that practice im
proves both the techniques and new developments, the
foreign maritime industry is way ahead of what we
could offer, only at a much higher cost.
Of course, there are a multitude of open and hidden
reasons why foreign businessmen, engineers, craftsmen
and crewmen are doing what our own people cannot.
Lower labor costs is an obvious consideration.
And foreign crewmen are willing to work long hours,
too.
But it is our young people who arc the real losers, not
those who serve at low pay. The right path to successful
adulthood is a combination of learning how to give and
to take. Our young people have learned to consider the
take before they lcam to give.
We ship them off to college at our present expense or
their future earnings to repay student loans to learn, for
instance, business management.
I submit that a couple years as a bus boy, waiter, stew
ardess), etc., on board cruise ships would have more ed
ucational value.
The capital and management problems cruise line ex
ecutives have are staggering, and 1 don't have to enu
merate them, when you consider the logistics and per
sonnel problems involving 650 crew members, to orga
nize or have constructed the vessels that will properly
accommodate 1,200 passengers, arrange itineraries, ad
vertising, booking, loading and unloading, etc. ...all the
time with a contagious smile so customers will get what
they paid for!
Small world or big world, American can no longer af
ford to be smug. Our foreign friends have outdone us at
our own doorstep.
(Karl Brandt, who recently returned from a cruise,
lives in Shallotte.)
ly and takes it back.
In closing I would like to point
out that when Mr. Carlson let a
newspaper friend put a camera
around his neck to get him into the
pits at the World 600 (the longest
Nascar race on the tour), he de
served what he got. If he wants to
watch a real race, he should try to
get a newspaper friend to buy him a
ticket to the grandstands at the
World 600 and come sit with us and
watch the race action where he can
see the cars all the way around the
racetrack, unlike Grand Prix racing,
where they run a three-, four- or
sometimes five-mile course through
the streets of a city, and you might
get to see the machines two or three
seconds until the next lap. This, my
friend, sounds?and is?boring to
watch.
I think this just might be the rea
son why we no longer have the
United States Grand Prix.
One more thing before I let Mr.
Carlson take it back. He states that
tractor pulling is a sport developed
by oversubsidized farmers with
5100,000 jet-engincd tractors trying
to sec who can pull a heavily
weighted sled the farthest through a
mud field. For your information,
these tractors pull a sled on a hard
packcd red clay track.
Next lime he should write about
something he fully understands.
Artie Duncan
Holdcn Beach
Thanks For After Prom,
Stand Behind Young
To the editor:
Speaking as a parent of a student
at West Brunswick High School, I
want to thank each and every one
who planned or donated even the
smallest part of the wonderful After
Prom event. It was well-planned, or
ganized to the letter and well
thought-out.
The students were the best. They
were well-behaved, enthusiastic and
could enjoy a time of good clean
fun. We need to be proud of our
young people of Brunswick County.
They are our future. We need to
stand behind those who can make
the right choices.
Nancy B. Wemyss
Ocean Isle Beach
Heroes Of Clean-Up
To the editor
Heroes in our time! The men of
the VFW Post 8866 of Holdcn
Beach, and the ladies' auxiliary, are
proven heroes in our foreign wars,
but are now meeting a new chal
lenge?the war against litter on our
highways.
Since they adopted the highway
starting at the Holden Beach cause
way and ending at Lock wood Folly
golf course, it has never looked
cleaner. Through a maze of discard
ed bottles, cans, trash and even mat
tresses, the battle continues. With
new artillery, the "Swat a Litterbug"
program, the battle may be won. I
say "three cheers" for the men and
women of the VFW. I salute them!
Fran Vogt
Holden Beach
Write Us
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Only the author's name and town
will be listed. Under no
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letters be published. We reserve
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comments. Address letters to The
Brunswick Beacon, F. O. Box
2558, Shallotte, N. C. 28459.
<<L.;9
Recipient of
1ST PLACE M
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FOOD M J'
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at the 1992 & 1993 'W
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