Newspapers / The Brunswick Beacon (Shallotte, … / Aug. 12, 1993, edition 1 / Page 4
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Opinion Page THE BRUNSWICK&ftACON Edward M. Sweatt and Carolyn H. Sweatt Publishers Edward M. Sweatt Editor Lynn S. Carlson Managing Editor Susan Usher News Eklitor Doug Rutter Sports Editor Eric Carlson Stajf Writer Earwood OJJlce Manager Carolyn H. Sweatt Advertising Director Ttmberley Adams. Cecelia Gore and Linda Cheers Advertising Representatives Dorothy Brennan and Brenda Clenimons Moore ..Graphic Artists William Manning Pressman Lonnie Sprinkle Assistant Pressman Tammle Henderson Photo Technician PAGE 4-A. THURSDAY, AUGUST 12. 1993 Towns Which Can Offer Absentee Voting, Should The Ocean Isle Beach Board of Commissioners, in turning over its municipal elections process to the Brunswick County Board of Elections, also authorized absentee voting in town elec tions. We hope the Sunset Beach Town Council, which also has its elections county-administered, will do the same thing. Absentee voting is not an option for towns which have their own boards of election and conduct their own balloting, as sever al Brunswick County towns have done in the past, and as Holden Beach alone continues to do. Sunset Beach Town Council has turned its elections over to the county, but has not taken the next step of authorizing absentee voting. The board wants more information about safeguarding against abuse by out-of-towners who are not really permanent residents. While the board's concern and caution are understand able, it probably shouldn't expect cut-and-dried answers. The is sue of what really constitutes permanent residency for purposes of voter eligibility is a perennial dilemma, especially in resort towns. And there is some legal and constitutional rationale for keeping the definitions rather vague. Nonetheless, the potential for abuse alone is not adequate justi fication for stalling on the absentee ballot question. A legal process already exists for challenging questionable voter registrations and is at the disposal of any citizen who wishes to employ it Absentee balloting is one of the major perquisites of having the county administer municipal elections? the others being cost-savings and having the process conducted by an exception ally efficient county department. Towns who can offer that to their voters should do so. Turn Your Radio On... North Carolina state transportation officials say they want to boost ridership on the state's 21 ferries, from Cedar Island to Southport. They're talking about an all-out campaign of advertisements, booklets, on-board travel videos and cellular phones, and logo signs along highways leading to the ferries. Of course, an accom panying hike in ferry rates is also being proposed. One inexpensive, fast contribution to their ridership cam paign would be to reactivate a system already in place but unused for two or more years. Motorists approaching the N.C. 211/U.S. 17 intersection at Supply can tune in on their AM dial for a mes sage about the Southport-Fort Fisher Ferry schedule, but few know that. The message is still being broadcast, though it sounds as scratchy as an old 78 rpm record. However, the signs telling dri vers where to turn on the AM dial to hear it were taken down in advance of the U.S. 17 road widening project ? and haven't been put back up. The Best Kind Of Neighbor Wc tend to take the safety of our homes and property for granted un til something comes along like a hurricane, a tornado, or a wildfire. Firefighters were frustrated last week as shifting, gustinp .inds and an afternoon sea breeze made a tough job tougher as they tried to keep the lid on a fire off N.C. 211 that wanted to run free with the wind. They were already battling ex tremely dry conditions. Most of the area involved in the fire has been ditched and drained. Add several weeks without rainfall and organic or peat soils several feet thick in some spots and dry as dust, and you've got the potential for trouble. Even when the soil appears to be burned out and cooling off on top, it continues to bum beneath the surface and even under or through narrow fire lines cut with a plow. All that's needed to cause the smoldering mass to flare up is a gust of wind, which can carry hot embers across the lines, spreading fire. Last week firefighters were working at a furious pace to widen the breaks around the fire and to scrape below the heavy peat-like soil to mineral soils that wouldn't bum, trying to establish a safety zone and de prive the fire of fuel. But, paying no heed to the weather forecast, the wind kept shifting to new directions and playing havoc with well thought out plans. On Tuesday, the fire became a very real threat to approximate ly 10 families on N.C. 21 1 who had to be evacuated. Luckily for us, Bninswick County's volunteer fire departments and the N.C. Division of Forest Resources (wc usually call it the Forest Service) have an exceptionally fine working relationship nurtured and developed over the years by Brunswick County Ranger Miller Caison and Brunswick County Emergency Management Coordinator Cecil Logan and the men and women they work with. Tuesday, while state personnel moved to contain the fire within new ly-cut line on the northeast side of N.C. 211, volunteer firefighters were stationed all along the highway itself, defending individual homes as the fire approached. Tuesday wasn't the only day state and local firefighters worked side by side. Volunteer firefighters played a key role Sunday, Aug. 1, spray ing the roadsides along the highway, helping hold spot-overs to a mini mum. Once the fire was contained within lines and coming under control, volunteer firefighters continued on the job, refilling the tanks of convert ed military equipment (Gamma Goats and Nodwclls) used by the state to wet down the fire line off the highway, where fire trucks can't go, and using their own brush trucks and hoses to wet down "hot spots." Driving along N.C. 211, you can see the difference teamwork makes. Look at houses and other structures along both sides of the road. Look at how close this fire came. Thank county commissioners for continuing budget support of the Forest Service in Brunswick County. And thank a volunteer fireman for being the best kind of neighbor you could want, someone who cares. When Workers' Rights Are All Wrong Duke Power Company is being accuscd of infringing on ihc privacy nghis of iis 18,000 employees. What did the company do, you may ask ? concern itself with work ers' after-hours political or social ac tivities? No, its heinous offense was for bidding employees to express their religious beliefs and personal opin ions through voice mail, computer systems and fax machines. Com pany equipment, of course, presum ably existing for the conduct of cor porate business by workers who arc being paid a competitive wage to operate it. One unnamed employee reported ly lamented, "1 hate to sec us drive our religious beliefs completely out of every public forum whatsoever," as if a private company's business communications machinery can be even remotely consuued as a public forum. An American Civil Liberties Union lawyer reportedly cautioned that her organization "would not support a policy that prohibits all personal messages" transmitted on the company's nickel. I think Duke Power has every right in the world to issue a "strictly business" edict Indulge mc while I share a couple of personal experi ences illustrating why 1 feel strongly about the topic. Lynn fafw Carlson A couplc of years ago it fell to me to reprimand a nursing assistant who was handing out religious tracts to patients at the clinic where I worked. Seems she'd take folks' temp and blood pressure, slick their fingers and slip them a pamphlet telling them The End was near and they'd bum in hell if they didn't convert to her particular faith. "My church requires me to wit ness," she said in her own defense. "Not on this organization's time," I insisted. "If you fire me, I'll sue," she countered. "If we catch you again, we'll take that chance," 1 said, despite the un easy knowledge that in this screwy day and age, she might just win. A long lime ago I worked at a technical college (in another slate) where the faculty was infested with people who managed to squeeze in a little teaching here and there while devoting most of the workday to a well-known pyramid sales scheme. I was in my mid-20's and new on the staff, so they took to me like ants to a Slurpee spilled in the parking lot. I'd only been there a couple of weeks when a business instructor in our little office clustcr sauntered in and asked if I took vitamins. Huh? I asked. A half hour later he was still pitching me on some kind of astro naut pills which cost S80 a pack. "Just let me see a pack of them and read the literature, and I'll let you know," I said, certain he'd lay off me if I stuck them in my desk drawer until he had to ask for them back. It didn't work. In a few weeks he asked, but not until after he had sat down casually, made eye contact oh so-warmly, and inquired, "Lynn, do you have a dream home in your mind?" From there he told mc how I could make enough money to quit my day job, build that dream home and enjoy complete financial securi ty for the rest of my life if I'd just take the first step by investing in a beginner's sales kit of quality house hold and personal care products. I could use my time and position there at the college to establish all the contacts I'd need until I became so rich I could thumb my nose at this little piddling job, he said. I said everything I could think of that might hurt his feelings, but to no avail. He pestered mc and I cussed him on a weekly basis unul 1 transferred lo another building. I'd just gotten my Hies moved in to the new digs when I got a call from the tool-and-dic instructor. His wife and he would be delighted to have my husband and mc as their dinner guests on Saturday night. Extreme trepidation notwithstand ing, 1 had to ask: "Billy, I don't mean to be rude, but arc you plan ning to try to sell me something?" "Of cour-e not!" he answered in his best spidcr-to-fiy lone. "I just thought we'd grill some steaks and then maybe watch a videotape about a wonderful opportunity that's yours for the asking. I'll bring home one of the department's VCRs." (This was back in the days when VCRs cost a couple thousand dollars and only colleges and rich people owned them.) I lost my cool. I called him a slcazcball for keeping a job as im portant as teacher for no apparent reason other than its convenience as a source of victims. Not to mention that he could get away with devoting only a fraction of his time lo the task for which he had been employed. "Now, Lynn," he cooed. "You overreact. Let mc ask you this: do you have a dream home in your mind..." * FIRST THE lomco m, I HfcN THE DROUGHT. WHAT CODII) 60 URQN6 THIS YEAR ? * fff In The Name Of All That Does Not (Stink) (Editor's note: The word "stink'' has been substituted for a slang term normally defined as "to draw in by establishing a partial vacu um." Its vulgar usage might be deemed inappropriate by readers of a "family" newspaper. Which should tell you something about the show.) Uhh...huh-huh. Uhh...huh-huh-huh. That would be cool. Heh, heh. Hch, hch. Yeah. This slinks. Hch, heh. If you can honestly claim never to have heard snatches of moronic dia log like this, you evidently don't spend much time around teen-agers. Lucky you. But if those nervous chuckles sound vaguely familiar and omi nously perplexing ? like one of those nasty kitchen smells you can never seem to locate ? allow me to clear up the mystery. You have obviously overheard one of your own children, or per haps that youngster who bags your groceries, or some other teen-ager, who has become a devotee of Buttheadism, the latest adolescent cult religion. Buttheadism should not to be con fused with Buddhism, in which ad herents follow the "noble eightfold path" (right views, right aspirations, right speech, right conduct, right livelihood, right effort, right mind fulness and right contemplation) to attain enlightenment. No. ButlheadisLs attain enlighten ment by spraying an aerosol can across the flame of a Bic lighter and chanting, "Fire! Fire! Fire!" A Buddhist might say that all ap parent oppos'ies ? black and white, good and e\ il, high and low ? arc il lusionary .nanifestations of a single, harmonious whole. Carlson ^ For a Butlheadist, ihc world is neally divided into two distinct and diametrically opposed spheres: things that "stink" and things that arc "cool." If this simplistic world view sounds appealing, you may leam more about the teachings of Butt hcadism by switching to the MTV (Music Television) station in your area at either 7 p.m. or 1 1 p.m. most weekday nights. There you will meet "Bcavis and Butt-Head," two tragically mis shaped and hopelessly idiotic car toon teen-agers who star in a wildly popular and vaguely unsettling pro gram that will soon spawn a full length movie, a record album and the usual plague of fad marketing. Beavis and Butt-Head are latch key juvenile delinquents whose pri mary activities are watching televi sion and avoiding anything that re sembles work or structured educa tion. Most episodes begin with Bcavis and Butt-Head giving a running commentary on the latest pop music videos before embarking on some pitifully misguided adventure in spired by a television show or com mercial. Like the one where they see a lawyer's advertisement for estate planning and hatch a scheme to get themselves included in a neighbor's will. They assume that one good deed should earn them their desired reward. So ihey agree lo wash the man's poodle. Naturally, Ihey take the dog to a laundromat, where the prospect of cheap thrills makes them forget their mission. They take a ride in a tum ble dryer, get sick, vomit all over the dog and return the reeking poodle to the neighbor, who angrily orders them to leave. Hopelessly incapable of grasping their failure, Beavis and Butt-Head innocently ask if they can expect to receive an inheritance as a reward for good intentions. When the door slams in their faces, they decide that the neighbor's attitude "slinks" and go home to watch more videos. Huh-huh. Then there's the episode in which a televised health advisory wants that the "top prescription cold med ication" may cause hallucinations. Deciding "that would be cool," Beavis and Butt-Head go straight to the emergency room. Shouldering past a patient who has a fork stuck in his head, they go to the front of the line, display their symptoms (globs of green gunk spewing from their noses, mouths and ears) and ask for the top "de scription" cold medication. The nurse runs them off. So they go home to watch more videos. Huh, huh. In another show, the boys actually get jobs at a fast-food restaurant. The dialog over the drive-through speaker goes something like this: CUSTOMER: I'd like a double cheeseburger with no lettuce, and pickles on the side. BUTT-HEAD: Uhhhh...Shul up! Huh-huh. ..Go away! CUSTOMER: And I'll have a small order of fries with no salt. BUTT-HEAD: Uhhhh...Shut up' Huh-huh. ..Go away! CUSTOMER: And a large orange soda with no icc. BUTT- HE AD: Uhhh...Go away. Huh-huh. We're, like.. .closed or something. Eventually, the customer comes inside to place his order and un knowingly purchases a burger wrap per containing a hot and crispy mouse that Bcavis has tossed into the deep fryer. That was cool. Heh, heh. Not surprisingly, animal rights ac tivists are among the many groups disturbed by what they see as the "message" of Beavis and Butt-Head (particularly the episode tilled "Frog Baseball"). This is probably because most of what the boys find "cool" involves destruction, violence, loud noise, scantily clad women and jokes about pubescent urges, bathroom activi ties, flatulence and posterior anato my. Teachers are understandably upset about the show, knowing that they will bear the brunt of Buttheadist "humor" in the classroom this fall. And they aren't too pleased about the boys' attitude toward reading: "I hate videos with words," Butt Head often complains. "If I wanted to read, I'd go to school. Huh-huh." "Yeah," Bcavis agrees. "Words slink. Heh, heh." It would be easy to suggest thai Bcavis and Butt-Head will adversely influence our young people, encour aging intolerance, sloth, militant ig norance, vandalism, cruelly to ani mals, disrespect for elders, devolu tion, sexism, anarchy and bad hair cuts. But as Patrick, our 15-year-old devout Buttheadist, would advise those critics: "Settle down. You'll give yourself a wedgic. It's just a cartoon. Huh-huh." Yeah. Heh, heh. And it's pretly cool, too.
The Brunswick Beacon (Shallotte, N.C.)
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Aug. 12, 1993, edition 1
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